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On The Couch 2011 #11: Dinner for Schmucks

More than any other movie I’ve watched on the couch this year, Dinner for Schmucks has been the one I’ve been recommending to people. It had me laughing throughout the whole movie. Paul Rudd is back on my good side after he fell from grace with How Do You Know.

The characters in Dinner for Schmucks fit the actors perfectly and every comedian in the movie batted 1.000 here. Especially funny was The Flight of the Conchords’s Jemaine Clement as Paul Rudd’s potential romantic rival, the sex crazed artist Kieren.

Little Known Movie Trivia: Kieren was based off baseball painter Graig Kreindler. Check out the sexual energy exuding from DiMaggio’s eyebrows.
(check out graigkreindler.com for more awesome art)

My new favorite John Lennon quote is “You may say that I’m dreamer. But I’m not.” How great is that line? I can’t believe that no one has thought of shortening Lennon’s lyric for humor before. I love it.

Not a dreamer.

If you watch this on Blu-Ray, make sure to watch the special feature on the guys who designed the taxidermied mice for the movie. They are as out there as any of the dinner guests.

Watch Dinner for Schmucks. I doubt you’ll regret it.

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On The Couch 2011 #10: In and Out

As I was watching In and Out for the first time, I kept asking myself, “Is this movie offensive?” It looked like the producers took great care to be as politically correct as possible when making it. Ignorance and bigotry are portrayed as wrong, and rightly so. Homosexuality is portrayed as a taboo, but one that is ultimately accepted. But then Kevin Kline will freak out when someone says Barbara Streisand is overrated and I start thinking maybe they are going for the gay stereotype. In the defense of In and Out, I did laugh during that scene.

The funniest part of the In and Out is that everyone thinks Kevin Kline might be gay because he hasn’t proposed to Joan Cusack after dating her for two years? If that’s the case, I’m Harvey Fierstein.

In and Out is like the drug store candy bar of movies. It’s enjoyable, but not very memorable.

I would be much more excited to this In-N-Out again.
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On The Couch 2011 #9: Bright Star

If you like your period pieces featuring guys who have hipster hair and women who go for the Amish look, then Bright Star should immediately be moved to the top of your queue.

“A can of PBR is a joy forever…” –John Keats

That Amish look they give Abbie Cornish in this movie should be considered a crime against people who would otherwise enjoy looking at Abbie Cornish. Have you seen Abbie Cornish outside of this movie? She’s gorgeous. But you definitely wouldn’t figure that out in Bright Star.

The non Amish-Abbie Cornish. It’s better? y/y?

The best part of Bright Star is John Keats’s best friend Mr. Brown, played by Paul Schneider. If a line has any bit of humor in it, it’s probably coming out of his mouth. And Mr. Brown has the line that I have found myself repeating to no end in my best attempt at a Scottish accent: “I FAILED JOHN KEATS!” If you haven’t seen Bright Star yet, I’m guessing you don’t see why that would be my favorite line, but I dare you to watch Bright Star and not walk around yelling “I failed John Keats!” like Groundskeeper Willie.

Not sure if you want to see Bright Star? Answering yes to the any of the following means you do. Is your favorite kind of poet the penniless type who goes on to be one of the most well respected poets after he dies? Do you like top hats? Do you like quoting Groundskeeper Willie, but you’re find yourself in need of new material? Are you an Amish lady in need of styling advice? Are you a hipster boy in need of a new hairstyle? Do you ever think to yourself, “I wonder how tall that kid from Love, Actually is now”?

The kid from Love, Actually is crazy tall now.
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On The Couch 2011 #8: It’s a Boy Girl Thing

My first thought during the opening minutes of It’s a Boy Girl Thing was “Is that the girl from the Daniel Powter – Bad Day video?” You know, the one where the guy and girl are constantly missing meeting each other, despite working across the street from one another and graffiting the same poster every day. When I first saw the video, I thought the girl was Keira Knightly and the guy was one of the dudes from Sports Night. I was wrong on both counts.

Just remember kids: it doesn’t matter if it’s a cute story, vandalism is still vandalism.

Flash forward a couple of years later and Daniel Powter has been regulated to the one hit wonder discount bin of history and the girl from the video, Samaire Armstrong, stars in It’s a Boy Girl Thing. Actually, the movie was filmed in 2006, which was around the time of Powter’s tail end of his rise to and disappearance from fame journey, so it must have seemed that with this movie, Armstrong would be vaulting off the back of Powter into the limelight, except that no one has heard of this movie before Netflix offered it on instant streaming.

I watched It’s a Boy Girl Thing on Netflix Instant Streaming because I wanted to watch Just One of the Guys, but that’s not available for streaming. Netflix recommended It’s a Boy Girl Thing instead.

It’s a Boy Girl Thing is a solid two-star version of the body-switch movie concept. Instead of doing the more popular generational switch a la such 80s classics as Vice Versa and Like Father Like Son, It’s a Boy Girl Thing goes for the gender swap.

Judge Reinhold & Fred Savage > Kirk Cameron & Dudley Moore

The boy in It’s a Boy Girl Thing, Kevin Zegers, pulls off the cross-gender acting better than Samaire Armstrong. He played it more subtly and came across more like a real girl trapped in a guy’s body. Armstrong went more for the stereotypical crotch grabbing and talking kind of deep and slow, which seemed more like a girl imitating a boy instead of a girl waking up in the body of a boy.

If your favorite part of Daniel Powter’s Bad Day video was the girl, you should watch It’s a Boy Girl Thing. If your reaction to Daniel Powter was “Who?” you can probably skip this movie.

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The 1st Annual Tuesdees Awards!

Welcome to The 1st Annual Tuesdees Awards, celebrating distinction in cinema as seen through the lens of Tuesday Night Movies. Your hosts tonight are Hathaboobs and The One Armed Franco!

Hathaboobs? The One Armed Franco? You here? No? I guess I’ll just have to start the show without them.

Movie of the Year Based on How Many Times I Watched It

Winner: The Fighter
I was all too ready to see The Fighter for a second time, so I did. And it was still great.

Honorable Mention: Every other movie (103-way tie)
The Fighter was the only movie I doubled up on. I thought Inception would have taken home this prize, but I haven’t had a chance to watch that for a second (and third and fourth) time yet.

Most Overrated Movie of the Year

Winner: Black Swan
Was there a movie that was more hyped than Black Swan? Coworkers, friends and family constantly asked “Did you see Black Swan yet?” with the expectant gaze that I would gush how it changed my view of cinema. It didn’t even crack my top 20 of 2010. Was it good? Yes. Was it that good? Eh…

Honorable Mention: Greenberg
If you told me you liked Greenberg, I would consider you as having overrated it.

The We Need Something to Get the Guys in Here Award

Winner: Love and Other Drugs
Two more seconds of Anne Hathaway’s boobs being shown in Love and Other Drugs would have meant it would only be available at the DVD stores along 8th Avenue.

Honorable Mention: Black Swan
Your favorite part of Black Swan was the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis make-out scene and your biggest complaint about the movie is that they couldn’t squeeze Winona Ryder into that scene.

Best Movie Theater

Winner:  Brooklyn Heights Cinema
Good movies, reasonable prices and the best movie theater popcorn in NYC. You should see more movies here in 2011.

Worst Movie Theater:

Winner: The Park Slope Pavilion
Broken seats, ripped seats, missing seats, overpriced tickets and concessions, and screens that are about the size of my home TV caused The Park Slope Pavilion to run away with this award in 2010. It’s sad; this used to be a good theater.

Most Improved Theater:

Winner: The Regal Court St
I used to avoid this theater like the plague, but if you follow my rules for seeing films here, you should be alright.

Best Commenter Name

Winner: Jesse Eisenberg rules, especially in Roger Dodger, Unstoppable
The poor man’s Michael Cera is now the rich man’s Michael Cera.

Honorable Mention: Joe Citation, First Blood
What happens when you forget to credit a friend from a Facebook post.

Most Vitriolic Fans

Winner: Carl, The Room
To this day, I feel like I let Carl down for not liking The Room.

Honorable Mention: N. Smith, The Secret of Kells
Wow, I really pissed this guy off. And his review of my review was as confusing as The Secret of Kells was.

The Would You Like a Job Here? Award

Winner: Bryan
Some of Bryan’s comments were as long as my posts, and I love him for it.

Honorable Mention: Bryan
Seriously, Bryan left a lot of comments in 2010.

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A Little Help?

First off, thank you for being a reader of Tuesday Night Movies. When I first started this blog, I figured my readership would be limited to a smattering of friends who felt pity for me, and my mom (who would also feel pity for me in this example). But the blog has continued to grow in readership. I was shocked to see that 750 people tuned in this week alone to read my thoughts on The Fighter. Thanks for that.

If you enjoy reading this blog, I have a small favor to ask of you. Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any of your money and requires only about a minute of your time.

A good friend of mine, the painter Graig Kreindler, is giving away a painting to whoever can get the most people to “like” his Facebook fan page.

Please head to his Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/GraigKreindler, hit the like button and leave a comment on his wall saying you were referred to him by Tuesday Night Movies. Make sure you leave a comment on his page, or else I don’t credit for referring you. The contest ends this Sunday, so if you could head over there now, that would be huge.

Whatever you do, DO NOT create fake Facebook accounts to get me more votes. That will just get me disqualified.

Graig is an amazing painter. I really think you’ll like his stuff. If you have ever had any love for baseball, you really need to see his stuff.

An example of the awesomeness that is Graig.

It’s a win-win-win. You get exposed to some amazing art, Graig gets more fans, and I might win a painting. If I win, I’ll be sure to post a picture of the painting here on Tuesday Night Movies.

Thanks in advance for doing this. It means a lot to me.

::We now return to you to your previously scheduled movie reviews already in progress::

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On The Couch 2011 #7: Away We Go

When Away We Go came out, I avoided it. From the previews and print ads, it seemed like it was just trying a little too hard to be the indie jewel of the moment. A pregnant main character, Allison Janney in a supporting role, pencil animation opening credits…wait a second, is this Juno 2?

Now that I’ve seen it, I regret avoiding it. Away We Go is a very good movie. The strength of the film comes from the supporting characters, who are all varying degrees of crazy. Without a doubt, my favorite of the crazy friends were the neo-hippie couple led by Maggie Gyllenhaal. Her scenes alone make Away We Go worth watching.

As great as Gyllenhaal is, the best line in the movie belongs to the sweet little kid who explains what he knows about babies…and infanticide by suffocation.

A lot of the dialogue is witty, but I guess that’s to be expected when Dave Eggers is the writer.

I’ve noticed in the rankings so far this year, that all of the movies I received on a disc from Netflix are ranked higher than every movie I’ve watched on instant streaming. Does this mean the instant streaming selection is bad? Is it that I’ve seen all the good movies available on instant streaming already? Wait, Aliens is available and I haven’t seen that yet. Why did I watch Wedding Daze instead of Aliens? Am I just bad at picking movies on instant streaming?

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On The Couch 2011 #6: Rambo: First Blood Part II

Like First Blood, now that I’ve seen Rambo, I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to see this movie. I loved it. I don’t know which I like better, First Blood or Rambo. Both First Blood and Rambo had a strong message about how we treat veterans, though First Blood handled it a little better. The action in Rambo was just unbelievable though. Both were great.

Who gets in a helicopter with John Kreese and expects it to go smoothly. Does John Kreese only wear sleeveless tops? IMDB says he was a good guy lawyer on Cagney & Lacey in t he 1980s. I never saw it, but I presume he showed up at court in suit with the sleeves ripped off.

“John Kreese don’t wear no jive sleeves. Uh, I mean, sweep the leg.”

In the special features, it’s mentioned that there was debate about Rambo and Co kissing right before she’s killed. I’m glad they went with the kiss. It definitely made for a bigger sense of loss when she was gunned down. It looked like Rambo was finally going to get a happy ending. That lasted a whole minute. I’m also glad they decided to drop the triple zoom on Rambo’s anguished scream when she dies. How did they possibly think that wasn’t going to come across as ridiculous?

I’m really excited to see Rambo III. I’ve been told there is a big quality dip between Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III (which I always thought should have been named Rambo II: First Blood Part III), but that hasn’t soured my desire to see it.

Wasn’t there a Rambo cartoon series at one point? Or did I just imagine it? Was it any good?

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On The Couch 2011 #5: Wedding Daze

When I told a friend I watched Wedding Daze, the expression on his face was pained and sympathetic as he shook and head and said “No. No. No.”

Yeah, that about sums up Wedding Daze.

I really like Michael Ian Black, who wrote and directed Wedding Daze, but I can’t recommend this movie to anyone. It’s not very good at all and not that funny.

Funnier Michael Ian Black project.

The strangest parts of Wedding Daze are when Black throws in gross-out scenes that seem to come from nowhere, as if just to say “In case you forgot this is a Michael Ian Black picture, here you go.”

I watched Wedding Daze at the tail end of a marathon movie watching session on the couch and was in my own daze. I watched it right after finishing Suburbia and kept forgetting which characters were in each movie.

Funnier thing also written by Michael Ian Black.

Between Blue Crush and Wedding Daze, we have strong early contenders for Worst Movie On The Couch 2011. I really didn’t like Blue Crush at all, but I didn’t doze off a couple of time during Blue Crush either, so I may have to give the dubious distinction to Wedding Daze

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On The Couch 2011 #4: Suburbia

Watching Suburbia, I felt like I really knew these characters. I mean I felt like the characters were based on people I knew growing up in the suburbs of New York City in the mid-90s. The funny part is, if I saw this movie in the mid-90s, I would have seen this movie as extolling the magic of the lives of me and my friends, but watching it today, that’s definitely not the case.

Does a character doing spoken word performance art come across less annoying in the stage production? Because it’s hugely annoying on film. And in real life for that matter, in case any upcoming performance artists are reading this. At the same time, I felt like Sooze, more than any of the other characters, was plucked right from my particular suburb. I really feel like I knew this girl growing up. She was really annoying back then too.

Sooze, there is nothing about you that isn’t annoying.

Suburbia was alright, but not better than that. The best thing I can say about it is that it captured the depressing side of post-high school suburban life really well. I liked growing up in the ‘burbs, but it had its bad days, and Suburbia definitely captures one of them.

Final thought: Parker Posey is the brunette Elizabeth Banks.