Game of Thrones – S7E5 – Eastwatch...

Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps. I started recapping back in season 4. Back then, I hadn’t yet read the books and after three seasons of binging DVDs, I still couldn’t remember most everyone’s names, so I gave them nicknames. Can you blame me? Half the men in the North are white guys with black hair and beards. We’re now in season 7, I’ve read all the books, but the nicknames have stuck. I hope you don’t mind. I like that they’re not putting much text in the synopsis on HBO GO. Not that I’d read it anyway, but it’s nice that they’re not trying to spoil things as I’m about to watch the episode. There are few things worse than accidentally reading too much synopsis info before you watch an episode for the first time. Okay, there are many things worse than that, but I’m just not a fan of spoilery synopsises. Ooh, the title is Eastwatch. That’s the weak point in The Wall, right? We’re about to see Redbeard go to town against some White Walkers, aren’t we? I certainly hope so. I’ve spent most of the past week telling people that I really hope Jaime doesn’t die. I know that the Lannisters are one of the bad guys on this show, but Jaime has joined Tyrion as likable Lannisters. Sure, he was a shit in season one, but a lot has changed since then. Yes, yes, he’s still banging his sister, I never said he was perfect. Bronn lives! Jaime lives! Yayyy! Remember, you can’t spell Bronn without bro. Bronn is the best. Oh, Jaime was aiming for Dany last episode, not Drogon? For some reason, I thought Jaime was trying to shove a spear down...

Game of Thrones – S7E3 – The Queen’s Justice...

Immediately when I’m loading up this episode, I’m thinking about the title. The Queen’s Justice. Which queen is it referring to? Cersei? Dany? Sansa? All of them? Davos and Jon Snow come ashore at Dragonstone to start the episode. Tyrion and Missendei meet them. As Jon and Davos are being escorted up to Dany, Dragon does flyby. Jon and Davos are understandably shaken. Smoky Vajayjay is watching Jon from a distance as he climbs the steps of Dragonstone. She’s bouncing. That makes sense, considering that both Davos and Jon said they’d kill her if they saw her again. It’s interesting seeing Vajayjay admit she made terrible mistakes. Then she gets all ominous and says to Varys, “I have to die in this strange country. Just like you.” Sidebar for a second: Is it me or did Varys get tan, a little too tan, between seasons? He looks much darker than he did at the end of last season. Dragonstone looks like it’s Wales. How is anyone getting a tan there? Finally, Dany and Jon meet. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for since the posters went up around town with both of them on it. It’s tense. Dany’s getting a lot of pent up anger off her chest. She’s got a chip on her shoulder for the Starks. Dany wants Jon to bend the knee and pledge his men in her fight against Cersei. Jon’s like, “Ummm, we’ve got bigger problems. Bee tee dubs, can I borrow a dragon?” Varys interrupts and fills in Dany on what happened at the end of last episode with the Greyjoys. Ruh-roh. Speaking of which, let’s cut to wreckage that was Asha’s fleet. Hey, Theon lives! He’s hauled up onto a boat. He tells the Iron Islanders...

Game of Thrones – S7E2 – Stormborn – Recap...

It’s raining hard in Dragonstone. Dany’s holding a war meeting with all of her major allies. That’s a major theme of this episode: meetings. Lots of medieval people sitting around conference room tables in this episode. Dany calls Varys out on his lifelong bullshit. Varys tries to make himself come across like a man of the people. His sounds about as convincing as Donald Trump (so…really convincing for some of you and really not convincing for the rest of you?). Smokey Vajayjay visits Dany. She wants Dany to team up with Jon Snow. Tyrion thinks it’s a good idea. Dany’s down for the idea, but wants Jon to bend the knee. Every Queen wants Jon to bend the knee. Oh yeah, this is going to end well. Ravens travel fast, fast enough to arrive in time for the next scene. Up north, Sansa is worried that the raven from Tyrion is an invitation into a trap. Jon hears what she’s saying, but Dany has dragons and Jon needs a dragon to fight the zombies. Down in King’s Landing, Cersei is holding her own meeting with her lieutenants. She only refers to Dany as the Mad King’s Daughter. It’s like her version of “Crooked Hilary.” There are far fewer lords in this meeting hall than we’ve seen in previous calls from the crown. Creepy Hand says he has a solution to Dany’s dragons. After the meeting, Jaimie offers Lord Tarly a head generalship to ensure his loyalty. Tarley explains he’s sworn fealty to the Tyrells. If you have “drink when someone makes a sideways comment to Jaime about killing the former king” on your bingo card, it’s time to line up another shot. At the Citadel, Friend Zone ain’t looking too good. That maester that Sam is interning...

Game of Thrones: S7E1 – Dragonstone...

Game of Thrones is back! And so are my recaps! Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps of mine. I started out as someone who didn’t read the books. And because there are so many characters, many of who look alike, I’ve given a lot of them nicknames to keep them straight. Despite years of watching (and rewatching this show), and now having now read the books, I still find myself using my nicknames. It doesn’t help that the break between seasons was long enough for me to forget some of the lesser characters names. But enough about that, on with the recap! Previously on Game of Thrones: Cersei killed everyone. Seriously, everyone. RIP Queen Low Cut. Your reign was cut as short as your tops. The episode starts off with Walder Frey and I’m immediately confused. Didn’t Arya kill him? Ohhhh, wait, this is Arya isn’t it. My favorite part of Arya’s speech was when she said, “Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe.” Arya strikes me a big Training Day fan. King Kong doesn’t have shit on Arya. Ooooh and she smiled aas she walked out of the room. Arya has basically cemented herself as the most bad ass character on Game of Thrones. As a side note, I love when actors have to play two roles at the same time. David Bradley does a great job playing Arya playing Walder. It reminds me of Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in Face Off.  I love watching the credits during the first episode of the new season. It’s like a game of “spot the new stuff.” Old Town is definitely new in the credits, right? I had no idea what that place was. I assumed it was Dany’s new...

Stranger Things Panel – NYCC 2016...

If you need proof that everyone and their mother is into the Netflix original series Stranger Things, then all you needed was to be at New York Comic Con’s Main Stage 1-D on Friday morning. Despite it being the first panel of the day, it was an overflow crowd in the largest panel room at the Javits Center. There were only two guests at the panel, Millie Bobby Brown (Eleven) and David Harbour (Hopper). Not that the crowd minded. Each received a standing ovation. The moderator led them through a conversation behind the scenes of making season one of the hit Netflix original series. When asked about the audition process, Millie said, “Eleven talking? No. I didn’t have to stare. I cried a lot in the audition. And that was it.” When they offered her the part, they told her. “We’re going to cut your hair off. Your name is Eleven. And you’re going to relate yourself to ET.” David Harbour wore a hat to his audition. “I never do that,” he said. “But I thought this is a guy who likes to hide. The casting director said, “Hey man, do you want one without the hat?” And I said, “No, I’m good.” Obviously the hat worked. In regards to finding the character of Eleven, Millie said, “When we were on set, I was like, I don’t know what to do, and then I was like, “I know what to do to break someone’s neck!” And Matt said “Never say that out loud again.” Good advice. Millie had to have her head shaved on the day of the table read. Millie said that hair had gotten everywhere when they shaved her head, and she spent the entire table read scratching herself like a crazy person, because the cut hair...

Jack Gleason Spotlight – NYCC 2016...

Welcome to King Joffrey’s court! This panel was billed as a look back on Jack Gleason’s life an career, all twenty some odd years of it. Jack said that his love for acting began because his two older sisters acted in the local community center, and he became interested. Jack joked that “if the community center had karate classes instead of acting classes, I might have got really into karate.” The moderator brought up his first movie, the Matthew McConaughey movie, Reign of Fire.  Jack immediately called it a “really mediocre movie.” When asked, “You can say that?” by the moderator, Jack responded, “I mean, who’s going to care?” Jack pissed himself on set, but thankfully no one noticed. The moderator  asked Jack about playing the part of Little Boy in Batman Begins. “He was christened Little Boy. His dad was John Boy.” How did that role come about? “As an actor you go to a lot of auditions, and sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t. And I got lucky.” And then you got cast on Game of Thrones. “I thought you were going to talk about Shrooms, the Irish indie horror flick. I didn’t play Little Boy. I played Lonely Twin. Let’s not get into it. It’s not a good movie. He said that at the Game of Thrones audition, he thought that it went well, but didn’t want to get his hopes up. He almost lost the part though, because filming of the pilot was supposed to take place during when Jack would have been taking the Irish equivalent of the SATs, and he couldn’t miss that. He thought he’d have to Jack was asked if he read the books before they started filming? “I read the first book before we filmed...

Game of Thrones – S6E4 – Book of the Stranger – Recap...

Hi, and welcome to another installment of my Game of Thrones recaps. For any new readers, be forewarned, I like to use nicknames. It all started as a way to keep a bunch of characters who mostly looked alike straight in my head, but even now that I’ve read the books and know everyone’s name, in a few cases, the nicknames have stuck. I welcome any and all comments. And away we go… We open on Jon Snow and Bear Claw, er, Longclaw. I don’t think I’ll ever not mistake the name of that sword with the name of Josh Gad’s semi-recurring character on New Girl.  Edd is talking to Jon, trying to convince Jon to stay. But Jon is headed south. He’s been up at Wall long enough and wants to get warm. Edd is feeling abandoned. Just as Jon basically says nothing could keep him at the wall,  Brienne, Sansa, and Pod show up at the gate. Well, almost nothing could keep you at the Wall, Jon. Did everyone catch the way Tormund eyed Brienne? I am 100% shipping Redbeard/Brienne. Who’s with me? They need a good couple name. Who has a good one? Jon and Sansa hug like they’re in November Project. #hugeveryone. They eat together for the first time since early in season one. Jon says, “We never should have left Winterfell.” Sansa agrees with him. Remember back in season one when Sansa was the worst? I mean, back then I think I liked her even less than Cersei and Joffrey, and Joffrey is pure evil! Aunt Lysa falling out the Moon Door was the best thing to happen to Sansa this series. After that, Sansa transformed herself. I remember last season telling a friend that I liked Sansa now...

Game of Thrones – S6E3 – Oathbreaker – Recap...

Hi, and welcome to another of my recaps of Game of Thrones. For any new readers, please note, I like to use nicknames. It’s hard keeping everyone straight when they’re all bearded brunettes with long hair or blonde siblings who like to shtup each other. The episode open at the Wall, because WHERE ELSE IS IT GOING TO OPEN AFTER LAST EPISODE’S ENDING? Davos in shock by what he sees, Jon Snow breathing on the table. Jon is in even more shock than Davos. Smokey Vajayjay enters the room. She’s surprised too. That look on her face really drives home that she had 0% faith in her ability to bring Jon back. They ask Jon what he remembers. Smokey wants to know about the afterlife. Jon remembers being stabbed, but as for after death? He says it’s nothing, just nothingness. Jon actually does not seem relieved about being alive. He seems more confused about being back than happy about it. On a side note, this is the cleanest Jon has ever looked since Season 1, Episode 1. Jon heads to the yard, where his brothers in the Black and the wildlings are assembled. They’re all shocked, though Tormund manages to get a good joke it. He says that everyone thinks Jon’s a god. Jon says that he isn’t one. Tormund gets the best lines of the episode with his response: “I know that. I saw your pecker. What kind of god would have a pecker so small?” Even Jon has to smile at that one. The show cuts to a boat at sea. Sam and Gilly are on the boat. Sam is puking nonstop. Gilly is pretty upbeat, which is a total change from the books. I remember her crying her way through this...

Game of Thrones – S6E2 – Home – Recap...

The episode opens and we finally get to see the old man who is the three eyed raven. He’s not as woven into the tree as I pictured in my head from the books. He seems more encapsulated by the branches, like he just needs someone to saw him out. I’m firmly in the camp that the TV show does it better, but here I think the TV show lost out to the books. Bran is at the old man’s feet. Remember Bran? It’s been awhile! Wow, Bran has really aged since we’ve last seen him. That’s what happens when you leave a teenager out of a whole season of a show. Bran is seeing the past, specifically his dad, Ned, as a kid in Winterfell. And Winterfell never looked so good. The place is at peace, something Winterfell hasn’t seen since early in season one. Young Ned and Young Ben are practicing their swordplay in the yard. Lyanna Stark *cough* Jon’s mom! Jon’s mom! *cough* Even Bran is surprised by happy everyone is. “They were all so happy,”  he exclaims. The definition of happy in Game of Thrones is fascinating, I mean they’re still hitting each other with blunted swords. Whoa! Hodor as as a boy! And he’s talking! Hodor’s name is Wylis! Get ready for all the Hodor “Whatchu talkin’ about Wylis?” memes. Hodor is older than I thought. The old man pulls Bran out of his vision of the past. In the present, an extra from the Broadway show Cats is checking out Bran. I know, I know, she’s one of the Children of the Forest. Put your keyboard down, angry German fan. Bran asks Hodor about his past. Surprise, surprise, Hodor only responds, “Hodor.” Man, Meera has gotten older too. Meera looks like she could be Tom Hiddleston’s...

Game of Thrones – S6E1 – The Red Woman – Recap...

It’s finally here! The return of Game of Thrones! And the return of my recaps! You might remember that in order to get over some serious Games of Thrones withdrawal between seasons 4 and 5, I started reading the books. The withdrawal hit even harder between seasons 5 and 6, and I’m happy to report that I am now caught up on all the books that have been published to date. That’s right, I’m now one of those “That’s now they did in the books” people. Yay. Um. Hey, where are you going? Don’t worry, I still plan to keep these recaps full of the humor you’ve come to expect, but I might actually remember a name or two now (though Margaery will ALWAYS be Princess Low Cut). Thanks for joining me for another season. Please enjoy… Wow, that was one long ass Previously on Game of Thrones to start the episode. Did they show a scene from every episode of the series? Is a long Previously on… supposed to make it easier to tell all the brunette northmen with beards apart from each other? Or is it for people who are checking Game of Thrones out for the first time and thinking, “I’ll just jump in on this show 6 seasons in.” Smart choice there, big guy. Thankfully the Previously on… finally ends and the opening credits start. We can all agree these are the coolest opening credits of any TV show ever, right? The episode starts on the Wall. Where else would it start? My friends, family, coworkers, casual acquaintances,  baristas and I have been theorizing for 10 months as to whether or not Jon Snow is dead. If the episode started anywhere else in the Seven Kingdoms, I would have thrown...