Game of Thrones – S7E6 – Beyond the Wall...

Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps. I started recapping back in season 4. Back then, I hadn’t yet read the books and after three seasons of binging DVDs, I still couldn’t remember most everyone’s names, so I gave them nicknames. Can you blame me? Half the men in the North are white guys with black hair and beards. We’re now in season 7, I’ve read all the books, but the nicknames have stuck. I hope you don’t mind. Westeros’s favorite boy band is marching north. Tormund calls Winterfell the south.Tormund is hilarious. He is stealing the Best Line title away from Bronn in this scene. When Gendry asks him how he keeps warm, he replies, “Walking’s good. Fighting’s better. Fucking’s best.” When it’s pointed out that there isn’t a woman within 100 miles of here, he coyly replies, “We’ll have to do with what we’ve got.” I LOVE TORMUND. Gendry doesn’t appreciate being sold to Smokey Vajayjay by the Brotherhood. The Hound points out that Gendry didn’t die, so what’s he whinging about. I have no idea how to spell whinging, but it basically means whining. Lots of good lines here. Jon tells Jorah he’s glad Ned Stark never caught him. Jorah smoothly replies, “Me too.”Jon gives Longclaw to Jorah. Jon’s the best. Jorah gives it back. Guys, one of you please keep that sword. It’s valyrian steel and you’re headed to the White Walkers. Arya is casting shade on Sansa. She reads Sansa’s letter to Robb from when Sansa asked Robb to come to King’s Landing and bend the knee. Arya is basically calling Sansa Fredo. Sansa wants to know what Arya’s going to do with the letter. This isn’t going to end well. Arya’s one arrow that she...

Game of Thrones – S7E5 – Eastwatch...

Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps. I started recapping back in season 4. Back then, I hadn’t yet read the books and after three seasons of binging DVDs, I still couldn’t remember most everyone’s names, so I gave them nicknames. Can you blame me? Half the men in the North are white guys with black hair and beards. We’re now in season 7, I’ve read all the books, but the nicknames have stuck. I hope you don’t mind. I like that they’re not putting much text in the synopsis on HBO GO. Not that I’d read it anyway, but it’s nice that they’re not trying to spoil things as I’m about to watch the episode. There are few things worse than accidentally reading too much synopsis info before you watch an episode for the first time. Okay, there are many things worse than that, but I’m just not a fan of spoilery synopsises. Ooh, the title is Eastwatch. That’s the weak point in The Wall, right? We’re about to see Redbeard go to town against some White Walkers, aren’t we? I certainly hope so. I’ve spent most of the past week telling people that I really hope Jaime doesn’t die. I know that the Lannisters are one of the bad guys on this show, but Jaime has joined Tyrion as likable Lannisters. Sure, he was a shit in season one, but a lot has changed since then. Yes, yes, he’s still banging his sister, I never said he was perfect. Bronn lives! Jaime lives! Yayyy! Remember, you can’t spell Bronn without bro. Bronn is the best. Oh, Jaime was aiming for Dany last episode, not Drogon? For some reason, I thought Jaime was trying to shove a spear down...

Game of Thrones – S7E4 – The Spoils of War Aug08

Game of Thrones – S7E4 – The Spoils of War...

As the episode begins, the Lannister army on the march. Man, talk about a literal reversal in fortune for the Lannisters over the last few episodes. They were on what seemed like the losing side of the war and were basically being foreclosed on by the Iron Bank. Now, they’ve taken out some of Dany’s top allies and are marching caravan full of gold back to King’s Landing. For his part in all this, Bronn gets paid with a big bag of gold. It’s not enough for him. Bronn wants a castle. Bronn was promised a castle. He specifically wants Highgarden. Jaime tries to talk him out of it, saying that Highgarden is too hard to defend and Bronn could lose it to Dany within a week of them giving it to him. He preaches patience to Bronn – wait until the end of the war, and he’ll have his pick of castles. Tycho, the creepy looking dude from the Iron Bank, is excited. He compares Cersei to her father for the second time in as many episodes. The Iron Bank just got paid in full and they’re eager to re-up Cersei. Well, just as soon as the gold gets delivered. That’s not foreshadowing at all. What could possibly go wrong with the gold train? Also, did the Game of Thrones casting director not realize that Ian McDiarmid is still alive? Why cast a guy who kinda looks like the Emperor from Star Wars when you can cast the actual Emperor? Up in Winterfell, Littlefinger gives Bran that knife from season one that belonged to Tyrion, the one that was used in the failed assassination attempt. This is Littlefinger’s dagger, right? I mean, it was originally Tyrion’s, but then it was stolen and we...

Game of Thrones – S7E3 – The Queen’s Justice...

Immediately when I’m loading up this episode, I’m thinking about the title. The Queen’s Justice. Which queen is it referring to? Cersei? Dany? Sansa? All of them? Davos and Jon Snow come ashore at Dragonstone to start the episode. Tyrion and Missendei meet them. As Jon and Davos are being escorted up to Dany, Dragon does flyby. Jon and Davos are understandably shaken. Smoky Vajayjay is watching Jon from a distance as he climbs the steps of Dragonstone. She’s bouncing. That makes sense, considering that both Davos and Jon said they’d kill her if they saw her again. It’s interesting seeing Vajayjay admit she made terrible mistakes. Then she gets all ominous and says to Varys, “I have to die in this strange country. Just like you.” Sidebar for a second: Is it me or did Varys get tan, a little too tan, between seasons? He looks much darker than he did at the end of last season. Dragonstone looks like it’s Wales. How is anyone getting a tan there? Finally, Dany and Jon meet. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for since the posters went up around town with both of them on it. It’s tense. Dany’s getting a lot of pent up anger off her chest. She’s got a chip on her shoulder for the Starks. Dany wants Jon to bend the knee and pledge his men in her fight against Cersei. Jon’s like, “Ummm, we’ve got bigger problems. Bee tee dubs, can I borrow a dragon?” Varys interrupts and fills in Dany on what happened at the end of last episode with the Greyjoys. Ruh-roh. Speaking of which, let’s cut to wreckage that was Asha’s fleet. Hey, Theon lives! He’s hauled up onto a boat. He tells the Iron Islanders...

Game of Thrones – S7E2 – Stormborn – Recap...

It’s raining hard in Dragonstone. Dany’s holding a war meeting with all of her major allies. That’s a major theme of this episode: meetings. Lots of medieval people sitting around conference room tables in this episode. Dany calls Varys out on his lifelong bullshit. Varys tries to make himself come across like a man of the people. His sounds about as convincing as Donald Trump (so…really convincing for some of you and really not convincing for the rest of you?). Smokey Vajayjay visits Dany. She wants Dany to team up with Jon Snow. Tyrion thinks it’s a good idea. Dany’s down for the idea, but wants Jon to bend the knee. Every Queen wants Jon to bend the knee. Oh yeah, this is going to end well. Ravens travel fast, fast enough to arrive in time for the next scene. Up north, Sansa is worried that the raven from Tyrion is an invitation into a trap. Jon hears what she’s saying, but Dany has dragons and Jon needs a dragon to fight the zombies. Down in King’s Landing, Cersei is holding her own meeting with her lieutenants. She only refers to Dany as the Mad King’s Daughter. It’s like her version of “Crooked Hilary.” There are far fewer lords in this meeting hall than we’ve seen in previous calls from the crown. Creepy Hand says he has a solution to Dany’s dragons. After the meeting, Jaimie offers Lord Tarly a head generalship to ensure his loyalty. Tarley explains he’s sworn fealty to the Tyrells. If you have “drink when someone makes a sideways comment to Jaime about killing the former king” on your bingo card, it’s time to line up another shot. At the Citadel, Friend Zone ain’t looking too good. That maester that Sam is interning...

Game of Thrones: S7E1 – Dragonstone...

Game of Thrones is back! And so are my recaps! Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps of mine. I started out as someone who didn’t read the books. And because there are so many characters, many of who look alike, I’ve given a lot of them nicknames to keep them straight. Despite years of watching (and rewatching this show), and now having now read the books, I still find myself using my nicknames. It doesn’t help that the break between seasons was long enough for me to forget some of the lesser characters names. But enough about that, on with the recap! Previously on Game of Thrones: Cersei killed everyone. Seriously, everyone. RIP Queen Low Cut. Your reign was cut as short as your tops. The episode starts off with Walder Frey and I’m immediately confused. Didn’t Arya kill him? Ohhhh, wait, this is Arya isn’t it. My favorite part of Arya’s speech was when she said, “Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe.” Arya strikes me a big Training Day fan. King Kong doesn’t have shit on Arya. Ooooh and she smiled aas she walked out of the room. Arya has basically cemented herself as the most bad ass character on Game of Thrones. As a side note, I love when actors have to play two roles at the same time. David Bradley does a great job playing Arya playing Walder. It reminds me of Nicholas Cage and John Travolta in Face Off.  I love watching the credits during the first episode of the new season. It’s like a game of “spot the new stuff.” Old Town is definitely new in the credits, right? I had no idea what that place was. I assumed it was Dany’s new...

Hacksaw Ridge – Review Mar04

Hacksaw Ridge – Review...

Hacksaw Ridge has two things really going for it: It brings to light the true story of a World War II hero. It will make a pacifist out of you by really driving home the brutality of war. I’m going to go into both in detail, so consider this your SPOILER WARNING. Hacksaw Ridge is the story of Desmond Doss, an American medic who served in the Pacific during World War II. Doss was ridiculed by his fellow soldiers and commanding officers for being a conscientious objector. Doss was a Seventh Day Adventist. Their faith believes that taking another human life is the worst sin a person can make. Following that tennet, Doss refused to pick up a gun, even during target practice. But wow, Doss definitely impresses in the end. After both sides on Hacksaw Ridge are being shelled by the US Navy, the US troops retreat, abandoning many injured men on top of the ridge. Doss stays behind and rescues his brothers in arms, carrying each to the edge of the ridge and lowering them down by rope one by one, all the while evading Japanese soldiers trying to kill him. How Doss lowered down more than two soldiers this way is beyond me. My forearms started aching just watching those scenes. Doss is a true hero. He’s a pacifist, but definitely not a coward. When everyone was running away, he was running into danger. Watching his story reminded me of the brave heroes who rushed towards the Boston Marathon bombing to save people as everyone else was scattering. It’s an inspiring story. Regarding my second point, I don’t see how anyone could watch this movie and walk away thinking war is a good idea. Hacksaw Ridge presents war in all its brutality and barbarism. I...

Lion – Review Feb28

Lion – Review

Are you someone who misses getting a good cry in at the end of an episode of Parenthood each week? This is Us not getting your tear ducts working properly anymore? You need to watch Lion. If you saw Lion and didn’t have a hard time reading the credits through your welled-up eyes, then please remember to plug yourself into your USB port and recharge during the remainder of this review, you robot. This review contains spoilers. If you didn’t have Lion’s plot spoiled for you by Google’s Oscar night commercial, please stop reading and come back after you’ve seen the film. Also, Google, I’m still a bit annoyed about that commercial spoiling the movie for me. Every year before the Oscars, I have a mad dash to see as many Best Picture nominees as I can before the ceremony. This year, I only managed to see four of the eight movies nominated for Best Picture before the Oscars ceremony aired. Usually what happens each year is I’m hyper-invested in seeing these movies pre-Oscars, and unless I missed the Best Picture winner, they fade from my mind just as quickly so that I can focus on more fun fare, like say, Lego Batman. Lion is a movie that would usually fall off my radar after the Oscars. It didn’t take home any awards and was completely overlooked despite all its nominations on a night that focused mainly on La La Land vs. Moonlight. Ignoring Lion would be a mistake. It is a great movie. I found it to be genuinely enjoyable from beginning to end. I usually do not get on board with children being nominated for Oscars, but I truly believe that Sunny Pawar deserved a Best Actor or Best Supporting Actor nomination. His pre-Tasmania scenes were not in English and not subtitled, and I had no issue understanding what...

Justice League: Dark – Review Feb27

Justice League: Dark – Review...

Are you a fanboy or fangirl who misses NBC’s short lived series about DC’s magical bad boy John Constantine? Then you need to get your hands on the recently released Justice League: Dark, DC’s latest offering from their animated film division. Constantine lead Matt Ryan returns to voice the character, who is the focal point of a new group of magic-based heroes brought together by Batman to deal with a problem out of the Justice League’s wheelhouse. Ryan brings all the charm that he brought to the live action series to this voiceover work. He is definitely the standout in this movie and I am hoping this is not the last time we find him voicing Constantine. The movie borrows from the early issues of the New 52 comics series Justice League: Dark. The team includes fan favorites like Zatanna, Deadman and Etrigan the Demon, and more obscure heroes like Black Orchid too. The screenplay was written by legendary Justice League writer J.M. DeMatteis, and directed by DC Animation all-star Jay Oliva. Right there, you know DeMatteis is bringing both great humor and great drama to the script and Oliva is bringing the insanely well choreographed fight scenes that he’s known for. Neither gentleman disappointed. It’s interesting watching this movie with its more mystical fight scenes. I feel like this is out of Jay Oliva’s usual domain, which usually leans heavily on martial arts. Producer James Tucker continues to prove why he was Bruce Timm’s rightful heir to the DC Animation throne. The worldbuilding that started in Justice League: War continues here, with a huge leap in characters this time. Most Justice League movies give us one or two new characters, but this movie gives us a whole squad (and brings in John Stewart briefly too!). Characters like Zatanna...

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders – Review Jan08

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders – Review...

Almost as if in answer to the darkness of Batman: The Killing Joke, on the heels of that movie comes the much more lighthearted Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders. Have you missed Adam West as Batman, Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Burt Ward as Robin? Then Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders is the movie for you! I was hesitant about Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders when I first heard of it. Often when someone tries to recapture the magic of something that worked in a bygone era, it doesn’t translate well. There’s a fine balance between kitsch and schlock. But I really should not have been worried. At the helm of this movie is DC Animation head James Tucker, who has been producing quality animated movies ever since he took over the group from Bruce Timm and produced the excellent Justice League: War. Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders captures all of the camp and magic that made the 1966 Batman TV series work so well. Tucker, who cowrote the screenplay, definitely captures the voices of Batman, Robin and their rogues very, very well. Thankfully, Adam West, Burt Ward and Julie Newmar are all still around to add some extra magic to the movie. All three actors came on board to play Batman, Robin and Catwoman respectively. What really helps Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders work is that the movie pokes fun at itself too. Aunt Harriet’s musings about Bruce and Dick’s relationships seem like they could have been taken directly from an Ambiguously Gay Duo sketch from SNL. It’s interesting to think of the original Batman TV series inspiring that series of sketches, whose jokes seem to have inspired some of the bits in this movie. <blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-captioned...

NYCC’16: Sitting Down With Matt Ryan and the Team Behind Justice League: Dark Jan07

NYCC’16: Sitting Down With Matt Ryan and the Team Behind Justice League: Dark...

This January, DC Animation is spotlighting the occult heroes of the DC universe in Justice League: Dark. Like the team in the comics, this team deals with cases in the magical realm, cases that the main Justice League team isn’t adept at handling. Executive Producer James Tucker, Director Jay Oliva, Batman voice actor Jason O’Mara, Constantine voice actor Matt Ryan and character designer Phil Bourassa held a panel on Saturday on NYCC’s Main Stage and also sat down with The Beat beforehand to talk about the upcoming animated movie. If there is anything about Justice League: Dark that people are talking about, it’s that Constantine TV series star Matt Ryan was cast to play Constantine in Justice League: Dark. When asked if it was difficult to play Constantine as a voice actor as opposed to live action, Matt Ryan replied, “Ultimately the DNA of the character is the same. I love the character so much. There is so much more to explore with him. With a character like that, I just feel lucky that I had the opportunity to play him. I thought about taking a trenchcoat with me to wear in the booth. I feel blessed to play him again.” If Matt Ryan could play any other DC character? “Wonder Woman.” That’s right. Wonder Woman. You heard it here first. Director Jay Oliva felt very lucky to get Matt Ryan cast as Constantine. He elaborated, “I never know what I’m going to be working on until they drop a script on my desk. They said you’re going to do Dark, and I asked if Swamp Thing was in it, and they said yes, and I asked is Constantine in it, and they said yes, and I asked if I could get Matt Ryan, and...

Stranger Things Panel – NYCC 2016...

If you need proof that everyone and their mother is into the Netflix original series Stranger Things, then all you needed was to be at New York Comic Con’s Main Stage 1-D on Friday morning. Despite it being the first panel of the day, it was an overflow crowd in the largest panel room at the Javits Center. There were only two guests at the panel, Millie Bobby Brown (Eleven) and David Harbour (Hopper). Not that the crowd minded. Each received a standing ovation. The moderator led them through a conversation behind the scenes of making season one of the hit Netflix original series. When asked about the audition process, Millie said, “Eleven talking? No. I didn’t have to stare. I cried a lot in the audition. And that was it.” When they offered her the part, they told her. “We’re going to cut your hair off. Your name is Eleven. And you’re going to relate yourself to ET.” David Harbour wore a hat to his audition. “I never do that,” he said. “But I thought this is a guy who likes to hide. The casting director said, “Hey man, do you want one without the hat?” And I said, “No, I’m good.” Obviously the hat worked. In regards to finding the character of Eleven, Millie said, “When we were on set, I was like, I don’t know what to do, and then I was like, “I know what to do to break someone’s neck!” And Matt said “Never say that out loud again.” Good advice. Millie had to have her head shaved on the day of the table read. Millie said that hair had gotten everywhere when they shaved her head, and she spent the entire table read scratching herself like a crazy person, because the cut hair...

Jack Gleason Spotlight – NYCC 2016...

Welcome to King Joffrey’s court! This panel was billed as a look back on Jack Gleason’s life an career, all twenty some odd years of it. Jack said that his love for acting began because his two older sisters acted in the local community center, and he became interested. Jack joked that “if the community center had karate classes instead of acting classes, I might have got really into karate.” The moderator brought up his first movie, the Matthew McConaughey movie, Reign of Fire.  Jack immediately called it a “really mediocre movie.” When asked, “You can say that?” by the moderator, Jack responded, “I mean, who’s going to care?” Jack pissed himself on set, but thankfully no one noticed. The moderator  asked Jack about playing the part of Little Boy in Batman Begins. “He was christened Little Boy. His dad was John Boy.” How did that role come about? “As an actor you go to a lot of auditions, and sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t. And I got lucky.” And then you got cast on Game of Thrones. “I thought you were going to talk about Shrooms, the Irish indie horror flick. I didn’t play Little Boy. I played Lonely Twin. Let’s not get into it. It’s not a good movie. He said that at the Game of Thrones audition, he thought that it went well, but didn’t want to get his hopes up. He almost lost the part though, because filming of the pilot was supposed to take place during when Jack would have been taking the Irish equivalent of the SATs, and he couldn’t miss that. He thought he’d have to Jack was asked if he read the books before they started filming? “I read the first book before we filmed...

All Hail Megatron Sep13

All Hail Megatron

This happened earlier today. INT. ELEVATOR – DAY BILLY and VIOLET are riding the elevator with a MOM and her 8-year old SON. The son notices Billy’s shirt. SON MOM! That man is wearing a DECEPTICON shirt! MOM Don’t yell, dear. You’re going to scare the baby. Violet is unfazed, as usual. SON But Mom, the Decepticons are the bad guys! (To Billy) Do you know you’re wearing a Decepticon shirt?! BILLY Yes. SON Did Megatron trick you into wearing that? BILLY No. SON But the Decepticons are the bad guys! BILLY I work for Megatron. SON He’s going to kill you. The Decepticons are the bad guys! You should switch to the Autobots! The elevator door opens. Billy and Violet get off. BILLY The Decepticons are heroes. Optimus Prime and his Autobots are the real bad guys. SON No! MOM I think you just blew his mind. BILLY All hail Megatron. The elevator door closes. Did this make you laugh? If so, please support Tuesday Night movies by shopping at through our Amazon link. You can even buy your own Decepticon shirt...

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – Review Sep13

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – Review...

Going into Superman vs. Batman: Dawn of Justice, I had no time for the haters. I wrote off the detractors as people either still upset about Man of Steel or who haven’t seen anything Ben Affleck has been in since Daredevil. As an unapologetic Ben Affleck fan, I was psyched for Batfleck! You can keep your 15 year-old “You were da bomb in Phantoms!” joke. I love Ben Affleck. I love Batman. Get me to this movie. I still remember seeing the trailer for Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and being legitimately excited. The commercial made the movie look awesome. But I guess if you show only the 30 most exciting seconds of a movie, you can make the most boring movie look awesome. And that’s just what they did. Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice commits the most heinous crime that an action movie can commit: It is boring. I’m talking seriously boring. Fall asleep on your couch watching it boring. When I was watching the movie, I turned to a friend and said, “I feel like we’re just watching wheels spin.” He turned back to me and said, “That would mean the wheels were moving.” So much of the movie is expository, and it’s not even interesting exposition. The most disappointing thing is how much potential the movie had to be good. At its core, Batman Vs. Superman can be described as Batman doesn’t think too highly of Superman after the climatic battle in Man of Steel. Lex Luthor uses this to get Superman and Batman to fight each other. But Wonder Woman gets the heroes to unite, because they need to stop a bigger threat down the road in the name of Darkseid. I would pay to see this movie. This is the...