Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps. I started recapping back in season 4. Back then, I hadn’t yet read the books and after three seasons of binging DVDs, I still couldn’t remember most everyone’s names, so I gave them nicknames. Can you blame me? Half the men in the North are white guys with black hair and beards. We’re now in season 7, I’ve read all the books, but the nicknames have stuck. I hope you don’t mind. Westeros’s favorite boy band is marching north. Tormund calls Winterfell the south.Tormund is hilarious. He is stealing the Best Line title away from Bronn in this scene. When Gendry asks him how he keeps warm, he replies, “Walking’s good. Fighting’s better. Fucking’s best.” When it’s pointed out that there isn’t a woman within 100 miles of here, he coyly replies, “We’ll have to do with what we’ve got.” I LOVE TORMUND. Gendry doesn’t appreciate being sold to Smokey Vajayjay by the Brotherhood. The Hound points out that Gendry didn’t die, so what’s he whinging about. I have no idea how to spell whinging, but it basically means whining. Lots of good lines here. Jon tells Jorah he’s glad Ned Stark never caught him. Jorah smoothly replies, “Me too.”Jon gives Longclaw to Jorah. Jon’s the best. Jorah gives it back. Guys, one of you please keep that sword. It’s valyrian steel and you’re headed to the White Walkers. Arya is casting shade on Sansa. She reads Sansa’s letter to Robb from when Sansa asked Robb to come to King’s Landing and bend the knee. Arya is basically calling Sansa Fredo. Sansa wants to know what Arya’s going to do with the letter. This isn’t going to end well. Arya’s one arrow that she...

Some ground rules for those of you new to these recaps. I started recapping back in season 4. Back then, I hadn’t yet read the books and after three seasons of binging DVDs, I still couldn’t remember most everyone’s names, so I gave them nicknames. Can you blame me? Half the men in the North are white guys with black hair and beards. We’re now in season 7, I’ve read all the books, but the nicknames have stuck. I hope you don’t mind. I like that they’re not putting much text in the synopsis on HBO GO. Not that I’d read it anyway, but it’s nice that they’re not trying to spoil things as I’m about to watch the episode. There are few things worse than accidentally reading too much synopsis info before you watch an episode for the first time. Okay, there are many things worse than that, but I’m just not a fan of spoilery synopsises. Ooh, the title is Eastwatch. That’s the weak point in The Wall, right? We’re about to see Redbeard go to town against some White Walkers, aren’t we? I certainly hope so. I’ve spent most of the past week telling people that I really hope Jaime doesn’t die. I know that the Lannisters are one of the bad guys on this show, but Jaime has joined Tyrion as likable Lannisters. Sure, he was a shit in season one, but a lot has changed since then. Yes, yes, he’s still banging his sister, I never said he was perfect. Bronn lives! Jaime lives! Yayyy! Remember, you can’t spell Bronn without bro. Bronn is the best. Oh, Jaime was aiming for Dany last episode, not Drogon? For some reason, I thought Jaime was trying to shove a spear down...

Scouring the lists of exclusive merch at SDCC is both exhausting and mouth watering. On the one hand, there is so much of it, and on the other hand, so much of it is so good. Part of that SO GOOD is this year’s exclusive offering from Mezco’s One:12 line: Miles Morales – Spider-Man. Within minutes of pre-orders going live, I had my order confirmation. I love Miles Morales. There was no way I was missing out on this figure. Mezco shipped the figure rather quickly. Yes, I did have to wait until after SDCC to receive it, but I was surprised with how fast it arrived after SDCC ended. The greatness of this figure starts with the box art. That is some sweet Michael Cho art adorning this box. I will definitely be getting this box signed by Michael Cho if I ever get the chance to meet him at a con or store signing. The image looks so cool. This figure is a lot of fun. Mezco included five different styles of webbing. The webs fit between the hand and the arm of the figure. Pop a hand off, place the webbing’s ring on the arm, and pop the hand back on. It sounds easy, but honestly, it took me a few minutes of trying to get the hand and webbing to stay on the figure. But once it’s on, it looks fantastic. The attention to detail on these One:12 figures is amazing. Check out this arm. See that area right by the wrist, where the fabric arm sleeve ends? There’s a little bit of plastic on the fabric there, making the transition from the fabric sleeve to the plastic fist very nice. It looks like a glove extending from Mile’s hand, but...

As the episode begins, the Lannister army on the march. Man, talk about a literal reversal in fortune for the Lannisters over the last few episodes. They were on what seemed like the losing side of the war and were basically being foreclosed on by the Iron Bank. Now, they’ve taken out some of Dany’s top allies and are marching caravan full of gold back to King’s Landing. For his part in all this, Bronn gets paid with a big bag of gold. It’s not enough for him. Bronn wants a castle. Bronn was promised a castle. He specifically wants Highgarden. Jaime tries to talk him out of it, saying that Highgarden is too hard to defend and Bronn could lose it to Dany within a week of them giving it to him. He preaches patience to Bronn – wait until the end of the war, and he’ll have his pick of castles. Tycho, the creepy looking dude from the Iron Bank, is excited. He compares Cersei to her father for the second time in as many episodes. The Iron Bank just got paid in full and they’re eager to re-up Cersei. Well, just as soon as the gold gets delivered. That’s not foreshadowing at all. What could possibly go wrong with the gold train? Also, did the Game of Thrones casting director not realize that Ian McDiarmid is still alive? Why cast a guy who kinda looks like the Emperor from Star Wars when you can cast the actual Emperor? Up in Winterfell, Littlefinger gives Bran that knife from season one that belonged to Tyrion, the one that was used in the failed assassination attempt. This is Littlefinger’s dagger, right? I mean, it was originally Tyrion’s, but then it was stolen and we...

Immediately when I’m loading up this episode, I’m thinking about the title. The Queen’s Justice. Which queen is it referring to? Cersei? Dany? Sansa? All of them? Davos and Jon Snow come ashore at Dragonstone to start the episode. Tyrion and Missendei meet them. As Jon and Davos are being escorted up to Dany, Dragon does flyby. Jon and Davos are understandably shaken. Smoky Vajayjay is watching Jon from a distance as he climbs the steps of Dragonstone. She’s bouncing. That makes sense, considering that both Davos and Jon said they’d kill her if they saw her again. It’s interesting seeing Vajayjay admit she made terrible mistakes. Then she gets all ominous and says to Varys, “I have to die in this strange country. Just like you.” Sidebar for a second: Is it me or did Varys get tan, a little too tan, between seasons? He looks much darker than he did at the end of last season. Dragonstone looks like it’s Wales. How is anyone getting a tan there? Finally, Dany and Jon meet. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for since the posters went up around town with both of them on it. It’s tense. Dany’s getting a lot of pent up anger off her chest. She’s got a chip on her shoulder for the Starks. Dany wants Jon to bend the knee and pledge his men in her fight against Cersei. Jon’s like, “Ummm, we’ve got bigger problems. Bee tee dubs, can I borrow a dragon?” Varys interrupts and fills in Dany on what happened at the end of last episode with the Greyjoys. Ruh-roh. Speaking of which, let’s cut to wreckage that was Asha’s fleet. Hey, Theon lives! He’s hauled up onto a boat. He tells the Iron Islanders...

Raise your Sword of Omens in the air if you were a fan of the 1980s toy line and cartoon Thundercats. Me too. I really like what Mezco has done with their Thundercats license, and was super-excited when they announced their summer exclusive Mega Scale Lion-O figure. This figure is huge. I feel like I wasn’t quite ready for just how tall this figure would be when I ordered it. When the box arrived, it was in a much larger box than I was used to as far as Mezco figures were concerned. Lion-O is giant! Mega scale is an apt name. If you live in a studio apartment, this is not the figure for you. Unlike their One:12 Collective action figures, this Lion-O is not collector friendly in the sense of being able to easily remove and put it back in the box. Once this figure is unboxed, it is unboxed. The light up eyes feature is neat – basically, one head has light up eyes, the head that looks like it is shouting. You have to pop the head off the neck, unscrew a cap inside the neck socket on the head, and insert a couple of batteries (which Mezco included! Yay!). Once the batteries are in, a toggle switch on the base of the head controls the light up eyes. The eyes are bright! Even in a fully lit room, they look very bright. Not flashlight bright, but definitely “freak out a toddler” bright. The accessories included with the figure are all must-haves: the Sword of Omens, both the short and fully extended versions, as well as Lion-O’s claw shield gauntlet. If I could change anything about this figure, it would be the articulation. I just wish we had some functioning...