Game of Thrones – S5E6 – Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken – Recap...

If you’ve never read one of my recaps before, a few things. I’ve read some of the books, but only up to A Storm of Swords. I don’t want to read past the TV show. I ask that you please respect that, and while I welcome comments, I ask that you please don’t spoil anything that hasn’t happened on the show yet. Also, please forgive my use of nicknames. They started because I couldn’t keep track of all the characters names, and my favorites have stuck. SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES – SEASON 5, EPISODE 6 – UNBOWED, UNBENT, UNBROKEN FOLLOW. Proceed at your own risk. The episode opens on Arya cleaning a dead body in the House of Black and White. Some dudes take the body, and leave the door ajar behind them. Arya can’t help by try to look. That bitchy girl slams the door shut and tells  her to get to work. Arya wants to do more than clean dead bodies and tells the girl she’s ready to be tested again. The girl then gives Arya her back story. She’s the daughter of a Westeros lord as well. The story involves a wicked stepmother who attempted to kill her, and the girl’s own vengeance. Arya is really digging it, and you can see on her face that she’s thinking these two could be BFF. Oh wait, sorry Arya, she was just playing you. This girl is like the Heath Ledger Joker, when he would come up with a new story every time for how he got his smile. Later, Arya awakens to Jaqen asking her, “Who are you?” She answers, “Arya Stark.” He peppers her with more questions. Any time she lies, he can tell, and slaps her. Things get interesting...

Game of Thrones – S5E5 – Kill The Boy – Recap...

Hi everyone and welcome to my latest recap of Game of Thrones. These recaps do have spoilers for the episode and what has come so far on the TV show, so if you’re not caught up, and don’t want things ruined, please stop reading and come back when you’re good to go. Also, I’ve only read the first three books, which caught me up to the end of season four of the show. I have not read ahead of the show. While I definitely welcome comments, I merely ask that you not spoil things that have yet to happen on the show. I have a hard time with names, so I tend to give characters nicknames. Please forgive me for that. On that note, let’s get underway… Grey Worm is alive?!? Yes! I’m not going to lie, I thought he and Barry were dead at the end of the last episode. I am psyched that Grey Worm survived. Sadly, Ser Barry did not. While Grey Worm’s girlfriend tends to him, Dany is holding vigil over Ser Barry’s corpse. That dude who wanted the fighting pits reopened visits. Dany is ready to kill. She calls for the leaders of all of Mereen’s great families to be taken into custody. Fighting Pit Guy immediately realizes, “Hey, that’s me!” Once they’re all assembled, she leads them into a catacomb. Careful ye heads of Mereen’s great families, there be dragons here. Dany feeds one of the heads of the great families to her two dragons. She acts like Fighting Pit Guy is next, but when he responds bravely with “Valar Morghulis,” she changes her mind. She lets all the men live one more day. Why did she do this? Did she realize that her intimidation tactics weren’t working...

Game of Thrones – S5E4 – Sons of the Harpy – Recap...

If you’ve never read one of my recaps before, a few things. I’ve read some of the books, but only up to A Storm of Swords. I don’t want to read past the TV show. I ask that you please respect that, and while I welcome comments, I just ask that you don’t spoil anything that hasn’t happened on the show yet. Also, please forgive my use of nicknames. They started because I couldn’t keep track of all the characters names, and my favorites have continued because I love calling some characters by them. As the episode starts, Friend Zone steals a boat and rows away with Tyrion tied up onboard. Somewhere else, a bigger boat is sailing. Jamie asks the captain what island they’re passing. He has a moment of quiet reverie when the captain tells him it’s Tarth, the sapphire island. For those not keeping up at home, Brienne is from Tarth. Brienne and Jamie had developed a begrudging friendship when she was escorting Jaime back to King’s Landing. Jaime and Bronn are prepping to sneak into Dorne. Bronn asks Jaime why Jaime has to the one to free Princess Myrcella. When Jamie says Myrcella is his niece, Bronn gets brazen by asking, “Niece?” Oh Bronn, you rule. Bronn then points out that even if Myrcella is Jamie’s “niece,” it still doesn’t explain why Jamie Lannister has to be the one who frees her. Jamie almost quotes N*Sync when he responds, “It‘s gonna has to be me.” Bronn tells Jamie to give Tyrion his regards if he ever sees him again. Jaime’s response to that is, “He murdered my father. If I ever see him, I’ll split him in two. Then I’ll give him your regards.” Damn Jamie, that was cold blooded! In King’s Landing, the...

Game of Thrones – S5E3 – High Sparrow – Recap...

My recaps of Game of Thrones season 5 continue! The normal rules apply: 1.) I haven’t read past book three in the books, so please do not spoiler anything that has yet to happen in the show in your comments! 2.) Forgive my use of nicknames. I have hard time keeping characters names straight. Now, on with the recap! When the episode begins, we’re in a room filled with statues of all the gods. The face in the weirwood is here. Various aspects of the seven,  the burning heart. Arya is sweeping. Ah, we’re in the house with the black and white door. Jaqen is looking all Jesus Christ Superstar. I keep expecting him to break out into song. He doesn’t. Arya wants to train how to be an assassin, but Jaqen wants her to keep sweeping. It’s a very Mr. Myagi and Daniel-san relationship. In King’s Landing, Cersei is in a carriage being driven to Tomlin and Princess Low Cut’s wedding. The people outside think it’s Princess Low Cut in the carriage and shout Marjorie’s name. Cersei clearly isn’t enjoying that. I’m getting a very Wicked Queen from Snow White vibe from Cersei right now. If I was Princess Low Cut, I wouldn’t eat any apples offered to me by Cersei. Marjorie’s wedding dress does justice to her Princess Low Cut nickname. It’s definitely appreciated by Tomlin, who is horny as hell. After they’ve consumated their marriage, Tomlin basically tells Princess Low Cut that he’s DTF all day, every day. Marjorie immediately  uses Tomlin’s desire for her to her advantage, casually letting it slide that she thinks it would be a good idea for Cersei to move away. Cut to Tomlin telling his mom that he’s shipping her off to Casterly Rock…”for her own benefit.” Yeah,...

Game of Thrones – S5E2 – The House of Black and White – Recap...

Arya is sailing on her boat to Braavos. They sail under that giant statue of a titan that is one of my favorite parts of every Game of Thrones opening. The captain says that the titan defends Braavos. Arya is experienced enough to realize that statues don’t to defend anyone. When they arrive in Braavos, Arya is left in front of a building with a black and white door. An old black man opens the door. He turns Arya away, even after Arya presents her coin to him. After the black and white door is shut in her face, Arya throws her coin of the faceless man into the water. Pod and Brienne have stopped at an inn for some food. Sansa and Littlefinger are dining there. Littlefinger should promote a line of pub food called Littlefingers li’l chicken fingers, but I digress. Pod spots Littlefinger and Sansa. Brienne introduces herself, and it goes poorly. But Brienne’s frustrated with her quest, and isn’t going to let Littlefinger’s men get in the way of her and Sansa. In classic Pod fashion, he loses control of his horse and goes galloping away during the fight. This gives us more time to focus on Brienne’s sword fight, where she breaks her opponents sword in half with her own. Half of Ice is quite the sword. In King’s Landing, Cersei has summoned Jaime. When he arrives, she has him finger a box. Not that box, you perv! The box springs open to his touch and a menacing  viper is revealed. Wait, now I’m not even sure I’m talking about the box on the table or Cersei’s. The viper statue in the box on the table has their daughter Marcela’s necklace on it. It’s clearly a threat, in revenge for the...

Game of Thrones – S5E1 – The Wars to Come – Recap...

Like a corpse reanimated by the White Walkers, I’m back! Much has changed since my last Game of Thrones recap. I’ve read the books, well some of them. I’ve read the first three books in A Song of Ice and Fire. I’m now caught up in the books to the end of season 4 on the show. I didn’t want to read past the show, so normal rules apply: Please do not leave comments with spoilers for events that have happened in the books, but have not yet happened in the show. I watch Game of Thrones on HBO Go. We got a “Previously on Game of Thrones” for the first time ever on HBO Go this week, bringing up scenes from as far back as season 1, episode 1. Do the TV viewers always get a “Previously on…” or is this a new thing for everyone? I cannot tell you how excited I am that Game of Thrones is back. Even having Daredevil to take my mind off the return of Game of Thrones only worked so much. By Sunday morning, I was humming the opening theme to Game of Thrones, counting down the hours until 9 PM. I rewatched the final episode of last season. In the months between its first airing and my rewatching, I forgot how good an episode that is. But we’re not here to talk about the end of season four. We’re here to talk about the start of season five. The opening title sequence looks new. They made some changes, right? I need to watch each season’s title sequence one after the other. I feel like they’re different each season, but I can’t think of specific examples off the top of my head. Wait, Pentos. Is Pentos new...

Agents of SHIELD – S2E16 – Afterlife – Recap...

The episode opens on a used car lot. A low rent Buddy Garrity is trying to get Coulson in a muscle car. When Coulson says he more interested in a SUV and points one out that he’s like to pay cash for, the salesman says he has an even better SUV for him. Hilarity ensues when Hunter drives up in said SUV. The salesman threatens to call the cops, which leads to him being iced/night-nighted by Coulson. Side note, the icer made a bang noise when Coulson pulled the trigger. Maybe I was wrong last week about the first Real SHIELD agent who fired at Skye. Maybe he was using an icer. Shaved head jerkface was totally firing a real gun though. Speaking of Skye, she wakes up nearly naked on a table, with glowing acupuncture needles sticking out of her. Ooo, you usually have to pay extra for the glowing needles. She wants to go, but she can’t move. Gordon and a new guy named Lincoln walk in. Lincoln explains terrigenesis to Skye. Over the course of the episode, Lincoln goes deep into explaining terrigenesis to Skye. Here’s what I took away from his talks: Skye is the first person in a VERY long time to go through terrigenesis with a diviner in a Kree temple. Usually candidates for terrigenesis are selected by a council. They don’t choose for themselves when they’re worthy. Skye cutting the terrigenesis line has some people if not angry, then at least intrigued. The process is irreversible. Skye is really unhappy about that last point. At Coulson’s base, now home to Real SHIELD, Gonzalez and Bobbie are discussing the end of last week’s episode. Calderon is down. Finally, I can stop calling him shaved head jerk face. Gonzalez...

How I Spent My Games of Thrones Vacation...

No, this post isn’t about how I spent my time visiting Westeros. I wish! Actually, no, I don’t. I think I’d last half a day in Westeros before having at least one body part violently removed. I’d be lucky to survive a week. Rather, this post is about how I spent the long, grueling months between the end of HBO’s Game of Thrones season 4 and this Sunday’s premiere of season 5. At the top of each of my season 4 recaps, I noted that while I loved the show, I had never read any of the books. A couple of commenters apparently didn’t notice that, which led to some unintentionally funny angry comments about me not being a “real fan” for resorting to nicknames instead of remembering the actual name of yet another brown bearded, scraggly haired white guy. The most common insult thrown my way was “Did you even read the books?” No, I didn’t. It said so right there at the top. I had no plans to read the books. I was really enjoying the TV show, loved the way the show presented the story and didn’t want to spoil any plot points from the story. I liked being shocked when the Red Viper had his face caved in by the Mountain. If I knew that was coming, it wouldn’t have carried the same weight. But when season 4 ended, I was jonesing Game of Thrones bad. I needed more. I went back and watched season 1 again. It didn’t satiate. I knew I could watch the entire series again and I’d still have the hunger for more content. So I did what I said I wouldn’t. I started reading the books. I started with the first book in The Song...

Agents of SHIELD – S2E15 – One Door Closes – Recap...

Tonight’s episode is told in two time periods. We have the ongoing conflict between Coulson’s SHIELD and “Real” SHIELD in the present, and in the past, we see where Bobbie, Mac and Gonzalez were during the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. We open in the past. Mac is bloodied, on his knees with his hands on his head. Other agents are too. We’re in the middle of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Bobbie breaks in and is a one woman wrecking crew. She takes almost everyone out. Lucy Lawless gets the last guy. Remember when Lucy Lawless was on one episode of SHIELD this season and then died? Well, she’s back! Probably just for this episode, but still, she’s back! This scene is shot in a weird blue light, as if to yell, “Hey! This is the past!” The lighting gets normal and we jump to the present. Bobbie returns to Coulson’s base. She’s up to something. She installs some hardware int he server room. While she’s doing that, Coulson is letting Mac work on Lola, supervised of course. Coulson confronts Mac. He asks Mac who he works for. Mac, not lying, says SHIELD. But Coulson thinks he’s being difficult. Skye and Simmons are getting in the FaceTime session planned last episode. Simmons explains how the gloves work, but doesn’t mention any side effects, which is weird, because Coulson said last episode that the glove would have side effects and that Simmons would explain them to Skye. Bobbie laser drills into where Coulson is hiding Fury’s toolbox. She steals the toolbox. May catches her in the act. They fight, and I have to admit, as soon as May walked in, I was looking forward to this fight, as both characters have been in some...

Agents of SHIELD – S2E14 – Love in the Time of Hydra – Recap...

We open on a diner. Ward and Agent 33 are on a date? This is the second diner scene in as many weeks. They’re really getting good use out of that set. Ward and Agent 33 go all Pumpkin and Honey Bunny on the patrons when they jump on the tables and rob the diner Pulp Fiction style. Samuel L Jackson is not in this diner. What a missed opportunity! Oh wait, they’re not robbing the place, they’re kidnapping a plastic surgeon? FitzSimmons is checking out Skye’s broken arms. Skye refers to herself being on the DL. Fitz doesn’t know that DL means disabled list and not down low. He’s adorable. Coulson and May are meeting. These Coulson and May meetings are great for anyone who missed an episode, as they constantly seem to be debating what’s going on with the team. May has changed her mind about Skye being on the team. It seems like Simmons and May want her off and Fitz and Coulson want her on. Luckily for Skye, Coulson is in charge. Back to Ward and Agent 33. Oh, that wasn’t a plastic surgeon that they kidnapped. It was an engineer…who is kind of like a plastic surgeon since he fixed Agent 33’s digital mask.s mask. She can now look normal again…though it seems like May is still her normal face. She can’t take the mask off. Oh crap, is Agent 33 the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of Madame Masque? For those of you not familar with her, Madame Masque is an Iron Man villain named Courtney Whitmore. She hides behind a golden mask because she was once beautiful but had been horribly disfigured…or was it all in her head? Some writers have made it recently that Courtney was not...