Game of Thrones – S5E6 – Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken – Recap

If you’ve never read one of my recaps before, a few things. I’ve read some of the books, but only up to A Storm of Swords. I don’t want to read past the TV show. I ask that you please respect that, and while I welcome comments, I ask that you please don’t spoil anything that hasn’t happened on the show yet. Also, please forgive my use of nicknames. They started because I couldn’t keep track of all the characters names, and my favorites have stuck.

SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES – SEASON 5, EPISODE 6 – UNBOWED, UNBENT, UNBROKEN FOLLOW. Proceed at your own risk.

keep-calm-and-be-unbowed-unbent-unbroken

The episode opens on Arya cleaning a dead body in the House of Black and White. Some dudes take the body, and leave the door ajar behind them. Arya can’t help by try to look. That bitchy girl slams the door shut and tells  her to get to work. Arya wants to do more than clean dead bodies and tells the girl she’s ready to be tested again. The girl then gives Arya her back story. She’s the daughter of a Westeros lord as well. The story involves a wicked stepmother who attempted to kill her, and the girl’s own vengeance. Arya is really digging it, and you can see on her face that she’s thinking these two could be BFF. Oh wait, sorry Arya, she was just playing you. This girl is like the Heath Ledger Joker, when he would come up with a new story every time for how he got his smile.

Later, Arya awakens to Jaqen asking her, “Who are you?” She answers, “Arya Stark.” He peppers her with more questions. Any time she lies, he can tell, and slaps her. Things get interesting when she talks about The Hound. She says, “I left the Hound to die. I hated him.” – SLAP. “I hated him” – SLAP. “That’s not a lie!” – SLAP!

Friend Zone and Tyrion win the award for getting to film in the most picturesque locale. The shore they’re on is absolutely stunning. When it’s clear that Jorah has no idea what’s going on in King’s Landing, Tyrion catches Jorah up on things. He unwittingly reveals to Friend Zone that Friend Zone’s dad is dead, and honestly feels bad about being the one to tell him. I like when Tyrion has honest moments like this. The piss and vinegar is fun, but I think Peter Dinklage really shines in scenes like this one.

Back at the House of Black and White, a father who traveled there with his daughter tells Arya his story. The daughter is sick and in much pain, so he brought her here. He just wants his daughter to not suffer anymore. After the bitchy girl’s story, I don’t know who to believe in this house anymore. Arya comforts the sick girl by sympathizing with her and telling the girl a made up story about how she used to be sick too. She tells the girl that her father brought her here also, and that by drinking the water from the fountain, she was cured. The girl drinks from the fountain. Jaqen watches from the shadows.

unbowed unbent unbroken arya with girl

Later, when Arya is cleaning the same girl’s dead body, Jaqen joins her. He exits through the same door that’s always been denied her, but this time leaves it open. Arya follows him through the door and down many steps. He leads her to where they take the bodies. It’s a huge, cavernous chamber with gigantic columns. In the columns are faces…or are they heads? It’s hard to tell at first if they’re carved into the columns or if they’re actual decapitated, preserved heads. Closer up, they look like death masks, taken from castings of the dead people’s faces. Jaqen asks Arya, “Is the girl ready, to give up her ears, her nose her tongue?” and then says, “No, a girl is not ready to become no one. But she is ready to become someone else. ” And they look at one of the faces in the column, one that looks like a middle-aged woman.

unbowed unbent unbroken Arya-and-Jaqen-1024x576

Tyrion and Jorah are talking about Dany, which has to be Jorah’s favorite subject ever. Tyrion wants to know what’s Dany’s endgame. He doubts a girl who has never been to King’s Landing is capable of holding power in King’s Landing. He’s not talking about winning the throne, but rather staying on it. The pair encounter a group of slavers and are quickly captured. The slavers are going to send Jorah to the salt mines. Tyrion gets off even less lucky. They plan to slit his throat…and sell his cock. Why? Because “dwarf cocks have magic powers.” Tyrion immediately argues that if they want to sell his cock, they need him alive as proof that it came from a dwarf. When one of the slavers counters with, “It will be a dwarf sized cock,” Tyrion gets the best line of the episode with “GUESS AGAIN!” They decide to let Tyrion live until they find a buyer for his dwarf cock. The slavers are sailing away from the now ironically named Slaver’s Bay, which is in Dany’s now slave-free land.  But Tyrion convinces them to head there anyway to enter Jorah in the fighting pits. The slavers don’t initially believe Friend Zone to be a good fighter, laughing off Tyrion’s claim that Friend Zone is an excellent jouster. They dismiss jousting as a child’s game compared to the viciousness of the pits. But when Friend Zone tells them about the time he killed one of Khal Drogo’s Dothraki Bloodriders, they take him more seriously.

Littlefinger has made his way to King’s Landing. He’s stopped by Lancel and the Faith Militant. They brag about all the vices they’ve been stamping out in King’s Landing. I’m not sure why they don’t take Littlefinger into custody or beat him right there. They’ll rip up his whorehouses and beat up his staff and customers, but they seem to just let him off with a warning here. Did the High Sparrow tell them to spare him because of Cersei?

Littlefinger meets with Cersei. She wants to make sure that the Vale will remain loyal to the king. Littlefinger assures her that the Vale will, and then tells Cersei that his “sources” say Sansa is back in Winterfell. He doesn’t mention that his source is himself, the man who took her there. Littlefinger advises Cersei to let Roose Bolton and Stannis battle over Winterfell and then swoop in to take Winterfell from whomever wins. He conveniently offers to lead the knights of the Vale against the eventual holder of Winterfell, and be named Warden of the North for his loyalty and bravery. Cersei is very cunning, but I feel like she’s outclassed by Littlefinger when it comes to intrigue. He’s like a chess grandmaster, plotting many moves ahead of everyone else. Roose and Cersei both think he’s on their side. He’s perfectly set up for taking out Roose Bolton if the Boltons manage to fend off Stannis, as he has Sansa Stark in his pocket in Winterfell. It seems like Littlefinger’s ideal outcome is Stannis loses to Roose, and Sansa opens Winterfell’s gates for the knights of the Vale when Littlefinger comes calling.

In Dorne, Myrcella is hanging out with that Dornish prince whose name I never caught. He wants to marry her. Why are we even wasting our time on these two? Seriously, these two are the two least interesting part of this Dorne subplot. But they are dressed nice. The main Martell Prince watches from his balcony. He makes some ominous comments to his head guard. He wants to keep them safe and senses trouble coming.

myrcella and martell prince

Speaking of trouble, Jaime and Bronn are on horseback, dressed in the clothes of the Martell soldiers who tried to kill them. I love that they’re in costume. It reminds me of Luke and Han dressed as Stormtroopers in Star Wars, and of the Scarecrow and company dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West’s soldiers in The Wizard of Oz. Bronn is singing a song. Sadly, it’s not “Oh Ee Oh! Ooooooh oh!” Bronn asks Jaime what’s the plan after they grab Myrcella. Jaime tell him, “I like to improvise.” Bronn gets the second best line of the episode with, “That explains the golden hand.” Man, I can’t believe that Best Line Bronn didn’t take home the best line prize this week. You’re slipping, Bronn! They proceed to sneak into the castle all Wizard of Oz-style.

We get the title of this week’s episode from Slutty Princess Leia. She tells the viper girls, “Unbowed, unbent, unbroken.” Wait, is that her new names for them? I prefer my name for the viper girls: Whip, Swords and Spear.

Jaime and Bronn find Myrcella in the courtyard, making out with Tristane Martell. Tristane, that’s his name! I still don’t care about them. When it’s clear that Jaime and Bronn are there for Myrcella, Bronn warns Tristane, “Let’s not do something stupid.” Tristane makes a move, which prompts Bronn to knock him out and say, “That’s something stupid.” I take back what I said earlier. Best Line Bronn is back! Sorry, Tyrion.

jaime-bronn unbowed unbent unbroken

The viper girls show up . Whip whips Jaime’s hand. While Jaime and Bronn are engaged with two of the viper girls, Whip grabs Myrcella and runs off. The Prince’s guard shows up and tells everyone to drop their weapons. Swords and Spear drop their swords and spear. Jaime and Bronn soon surrender too. The guard capture Slutty Princess Leia too.

bronn vs sand vipers

Grandma and Princess Low Cut are in Highgarden. Grandma tells Princess Low Cut, “Let me deal with Cersei Lannister.”

Game-of-Thrones-Preview-Unbowed-Unbent-Unbroken-marjorie and grandma

Immediately cut to Grandma in King’s Landing, meeting with Cersei. Grandma wants her grandson, Ser Loras, freed. Cersei keeps up the whole “I didn’t arrest him” thing. Grandma wants to know how the kingdom will survive without Tyrell money. Cersei tells her Loras isn’t on trial, it’s only an inquest. An inquest sounds like grand jury; its purpose is to determine if Loras should stand trial. She then tells Grandma, “As for your veiled threats,” to which Grandma responds, “What veil?” Oooo! Sorry, Bronn. Grandma has the best line this episode. Bronn is now Second-Best Line Bronn.

At the inquest, Loras has never physically looked worse. He’s unclean, unwashed and unshaven. Princess Low Cut, King Tomlin, Cersei and Grandma are all there. The High Sparrow Septon is doing the questioning. Loras denies all the charges. The High Septon calls Queen Marjorie. She’s taken aback that he can even call the queen. He points out that the Faith Militant and the Sept stand apart from the kingdom. Queen Marjorie takes the stand and denies the charges too. The High Septon then calls some blonde dude that Loras clearly recognizes. It’s his old squire. Ruh-roh. The squire says that he and Loras used to get it on and that the Queen even walked in on them. Cersei says they can’t believe the word of squire over a knight and queen. No one believe Cersei is sincere…well, maybe Tomlin does. The High Septon decides to bring charges against Loras and Marjorie. The Faith Militant grab Princess Low Cut and Ser Loras. Tomlin does nothing to defend his wife. What a pussy. Hey Tom, you’ve got all those Kingsguard in armor around you! They could slice right through these branded religious nuts! Pussy.

faith militant grab marjorie

From ever indication I’m seeing, I get the feeling that Cersei is quickly losing control of the High Sparrow and his Faith Militant. I wonder how soon it will be before they come for her because of the offspring she sired with her brother. I seriously have to wonder if Cersei doesn’t see that eventually the Faith Militant are going to come for her too. They’re willing to go after the current queen. And if the High Septon thinks homosexuality is bad, I can only wonder how he feels about incest. I’ve said that Cersei is one of the most cunning people on the show, but if she doesn’t see this eventually blowing up in her face, I may have to take that back.

Sansa is visited by Ramsey’s crazy girlfriend Miranda. She says Ramsey sent her to draw Sansa’s bath. Miranda bathes Sansa. During the bath, she advises Sansa not to bore Ramsey. Sansa wouldn’t want to end up like the others, and basically tries to freak Sansa out with stories of Ramsey killing women. Sansa immediately sees through Miranda’s shit and calls her out on it. “I am Sansa Stark of Winterfell. This is my home, and you can’t frighten me.” She dismisses Miranda.

Reek shows up to escort Sansa to the God’s Wood. Reek wants her to take his arm, saying that Ramsey will beat him if she doesn’t. Sansa makes it plain that after what Theon did to her family, she has exactly zero fucks left for whatever Ramsey might do to him. The God’s Wood is decorated with lanterns. In Winterfell, brides wear white wedding dresses that double as thick, winter coats. It makes sense when you consider the weddings take place outside while it’s snowing. When Sansa and Reek show up, everyone is already there. Roose Bolton asks “Who gives her? to which Reek responds, “Theon of House Greyjoy…who was her father’s ward.” That’s the first time in a long time Reek has referred to himself as Theon. He almost seemed to have heard himself there, definitely pausing before saying he was Ned’s ward. It’s as if he remembered his betrayal of the Starks, and actually feels bad about it.

5x06-Unbowed-Unbent-Unbroken-game-of-thrones-sansas wedding

Ramsey is the creepiest groom ever.

Ramsey takes Sansa to the wedding bedroom. Reek has accompanied them, and stands in the doorway, waiting to be dismissed. Ramsey wants to know why Sansa is still a virgin. Sansa assures him that Tyrion was very nice to her and never forced himself on her. Ramsey tells Sansa, “Take of your clothes.” Reek goes to leave. Ramsey says, “No. You stay here, Reek. You watch.” Double you. Tee. Eff. Sansa really has the worst luck when it comes to men. I can’t decide who is worse, Joffrey, who killed her father, or Ramsey. Reek shuts the door as Sansa begins to undo her clothes. Reek, please stab Ramsey, please stab Ramsey. Ramsey tells Reek again to watch. Reek looks like he is going to cry. Ramsey says, “You’ve known Sansa since she was a girl. Now watch her become a woman.” Ramsey rips the back of Sansa’s dress, and mounts her from behind. Reek watches, tears streaming down his face.

This show is fucked up.

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.

 

REED DIAMOND, ALEXANDER LEEB

The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection. 

the things we bury skyes mom and whitehall

 Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching.
Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.

 

The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on it. Hunter and Mac watch her chip away at Bakshi. Seeing Adrianne Palicki kick ass on this show makes me really wish that her Wonder Woman pilot was picked up. I’m not complaining too much though, because she completely rocks as a SHIELD agent.  Mac is worried about Coulson, and expresses it to Hunter. Mac definitely doesn’t have full faith in Coulson after seeing how crazy Coulson was acting while he was strapped into that memory machine. Simmons joins them. Simmons does not like Bakshi at all. Bobbie suggests to Bakshi that he’s been brainwashed by Whitehall. Bakshi doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t not believe her either.

 

Christian is on the phone, first with his wife and then his mistress as he pulls up to his family’s house in the woods. You guys, Christian cheats on his wife. That’s how you know he’s badder than he lets on. Ward throws one of Christians guards through Christian’s window to get his brother’s attention. It works.

 

the things we bury ward in action

 

Coulson’s team land in Oahu. He gives his team some fun assignments when they land in Hawaii. He tells Skye to bring this watch to a guy to get inscribed “Dearest Darren, I count the seconds that we’re apart. Love, Your Island Flower.” He warns her that if the watch starts to leak, drop it and run. He gives Trip a button and dry cleaning ticket. He warns Trip not to put the button in his pocket if he wants kids, and to come back with the blue tie. Ooooh, we are in full secret agent mode! Fitz wants to know what Coulson wants of him. Coulson needs Fitz to install some equipment in the field, under pressure in under 6 minutes. He wants Fitz to practice until he gets it right. I wonder if Coulson actually needs this installed or if he’s just helping Fitz through busywork.

 

Bobbie is twiddling her escrima sticks. Hunter asks what’s wrong. She says she’s got Bakshi figured out, but can’t figure out what’s the deal is with Whitehall. Simmons finds some files made by Agent Carter (coming soon to ABC)! May pulls out the key to Vault B from a secret cubbyhole. Agent Carter left it there. Oh, SHIELD base…so many secret cubbyholes.

 

Cut to the past…Agent Carter time! Carter is interrogating Werner Reinhardt, aka Daniel Whitehall. Reinhardt wants a deal. Carter isn’t going for it. She thinks he’s a monster. He claims he’s the only one who can explain all the items Carter has taken from him. Whitehall talks about “A city in the east. Blue angels bearing a gift for all mankind.” Whitehall tells her these visitors came to conquer the world. Guys, I’m like 99% sure he’s talking about the Kree here, and that the secret city is Attilan. Now, if you’re a Marvel Comics reader, you’re probably thinking the exact same thing, but for those of you who don’t read the comics, the Kree are an alien race who have come to Earth numerous times and experimented on humans. Their most famous experiments are the Inhumans, a super powered Kree created offshoot of humanity.

 

the things we bury carter and whitehall
In the present, Kyle tells Whitehall, it’s not conquer, it’s end. End mankind. Except for a chosen few, chosen by the diviner, aka the obelisk. Kyle says he can get Whitehall into the temple that the diviner opens. Whitehall is afraid of a double cross, but Kyle doesn’t want the power for himself, he only wants revenge on who killed his wife, and to be reunited with this family in the afterlife. Kyle is seriously coo coo.

 

Ward is leading a handcuffed Christian into the woods. Christian tries to convince Ward that Ward is free because of him. Ward picks up a shovel. He want Christian to dig up the well from their youth. Ward explains that their parents didn’t fill in the well; they just covered it up.

 

At the Bus, Fitz is working. He gets it done 11:23. Not fast enough. Again! Fitz thinks Coulson is just testing him. Me too, Fitz, me too. Trip puts it into perspective by mentioning that Coulson just had him deliver a button to a 300 pound Hawaiian man. Fair enough. Coulson moves in mysterious ways.

 

At the base, Hunter finds the Reinhardt file. After seeing Reinhardt’s photo, Simmons realizes that REINHARDT is WHITEHALL! Dun! Dun! Dun! Oh wait, we knew that. The characters are just catching up to us. May verifies it by pulling up Reinhardt’s photo as an old man, a life prisoner at the Rat. Somehow he’s turned back the clock.

 

In the past, Carter turns down Whitehall. She tells him she’s burying him here, in the Rat. Reinhardt is locked up for a long time. Strangely, they give him access to different books over the years, and a chess set. The chess set is less surprising, but why give the Nazi scientist reading material? If I’ve got a Nazi prisoner, he’s getting one back issue of TV Guide that already had the crossword puzzle done and that’s it. 44 years later, Reinhardt is an old man.  Undersecretary Pierce (Hail Hydra) has him freed. The agent freeing him says “Hail Hydra.” He tells Reinhardt that after all these years, they found the woman, she’s still alive. I have a feeling it’s the lady from earlier…and also Skye’s mom. Hey look, I’m right…on the first part at least. She’s as young as she was in 1945. They’re now in Austria in 1989.  Strangely, the suits don’t have giant shoulder pads.

 

Reinhardt is excited. He’s going to cut her open. She, understandably, freaks out.

 

Simmons says there are no records for Reinhardt post-1989. Hunter gives Reinhardt’s file to Bobbie. She asks Bakshi if his devotion to Whitehall is based on fear or respect. Bakshi plays to the closed circuit camera, mentioning how quickly Bobbie ingratiated herself into Hydra, trying to get her SHIELD teammates to turn on her. Bobbie realizes Bakshi is afraid of disappointing Whitehall. She says they’ll tell Whitehall that Bakshi gave them everything on Whitehall, everything in the Reinhardt file. Bakshi tenses. Baksi slams his head onto the table as hard as he can to dislodge a cyanide capsule in his cheekbone. Sneaky sneaky Bakshi.

 

Ward wants Christian to admit that he made Ward push Thomas (the third Ward brother) down the well. Christian tells him he’s wrong. Ward says he isn’t falling for it. This whole family is nuts. Christian manages to sucker-hit Ward with the shovel. Ward drags him back and pulls the wooden cover off the well. He hangs Christian over the well. Seriously, nutty family. Ward is about to throw him in and Christian admits it was him, he wanted Thomas dead. “Thomas was the only one mom didn’t torture.” What. The Fuck. He tearfully apologizes to Grant, who gives him no emotion back. Grant helps him to his feet and hugs him, tears up a little and then to everyone’s surprise, walks off with his brother arm in arm. I really thought Christian was going in the well.

 

Coulson’s team is in Australia. They’re in Australia and not Hawaii because of an overly complicated bit about the software they need to map the Earth to find the secret city is in a Hawaii base being too heavily guarded, but the button and watch introduced a Trojon Horse that will knock out the Hawaiian feed, bringing the Australian one online. This makes sense only when Coulson explains it. Sorry. Fitz has the transceiver down to 7:28. That’s still not good enough. Fitz believes in himself though and is confident he’ll nail it in the field.

 

They hit the base. It’s empty. Their radios are jammed. They’re ambushed!! The crew is tied up. Is this Hydra? It looks like Hydra. The servers are coming online as the shootout is underway. Coulson brings the crew to safety. Trip takes out some Hydra while Fitz gets to work. Trip is shot. It misses his vest. He’s going to bleed out. Kyle rushes in and offers to help. “I’m a doctor.” Whhhhhaaaat?

 

He’s not kidding about helping. He pulls out his medical supplies and works on pulling out the bullet from Trip. Phil is shocked that Kyle knows his name. Coulson draws his gun on him. Kyle tells them that if he lets go of the clamp, Trip dies. Kyle takes their guns, and gets back to work.

 

Kyle tells Phil he knows what’s inside the secret city. Phil asks if whatever it is inside has tesseract level power. Kyle says “Sure…I don’t know what that is.” Ha, best line of the night! Kyle then goes on a weirdo rant, and gets really angry when Phil refers to his daughter as Skye. He tells Phil how to save Trip and bounces. Fitz gets to work on the transceiver while Coulson works on saving Trip. Trip is going to make it. Yay. I like Trip.

 

Whitehall is meeting with….??? We see a flashback of him operating on Skye’s mom. They vivisect her. By the end, she’s dead, and he injects himself with her blood, making him young again. Oh, he’s taking to Ward. Interesting. He offers Ward a second chance. Wow, Ward killed Christian and his own parents! And made a recording of Christian’s confession by the well to make it look like a murder suicide. Oh Ward…

 

Bakshi is alive, just barely. Hunter accuses Bobbie of pushing Bakshi too hard because he was about to reveal her Hydra secrets. They argue. Bobbie basically says that he’s the one person she doesn’t lie too. Then they’re undressing and getting int he back of a SHIELD van. If the SHIELD van is a knocking…

 

Skye and Coulson are searching for the city. Skye tells Coulson, you’re acting like you saw the devil out there. Before he can respond, the computer has found the city! Oh boy!

 

Speaking of the devil, Kyle is meeting with Whitehall and Ward. Whitehall is teaming them up. When Kyle hears that Ward was on Coulson’s team, he perks up. He tells Ward it’s always good to look your enemy right in the eye…and then looks right at Whitehall.

 

Cut to 25 years ago. Kyle has found the lady’s dead body. It’s definitely Skye’s mom. He vows to kill her killer. Hey Kyle, it’s Whitehall. Oh wait, by now you know that.

Agents of SHIELD -Season 2, Episode 7 – The Writing on the Wall – Recap

We open on scenic Rhinebeck, NY. A brownstone. Nay, a scenic brownstone. A giddy couple walks in. Hey, the guy is the tattooed dude from the end of last week’s episode…and his girllfriend? Nope, just some girl he picked up at the bar. Go on, player. It’s her place. She pours some wine. She knows him from somewhere but can’t figure out how. “I do some carving every now and then.” What kind of answer is that? She seems ready to marry this dude after just meeting him. Watch that aggression girl; you’re just going to drive him off. He shows her his tattoo. Then he pulls out a knife. Lesson learned: don’t bring strange men home from bars. When he shows her his tattoos,  she recognizes the shapes. Huh. Interesting.

 Back at his secret SHIELD base, Coulson is listening to hot jazz and carving in the wall. Actually, I’m not sure if the jazz is hot. It definitely is uptempo. What makes jazz hot? Skye’s not a jazz fan, hot or otherwise. Skye and May are tagteaming watching Coulson as he carves. It’s Skye’s turn. I know Skye said the carvings form a map, but it looks like a decision tree to me. Coulson is carving more and more. He’s not in control of it. He can’t sleep. It’s just carve, carve, carve. It’s definitely taking a toll on him.
May is hunting Ward. She’s airborne. Ward is in Philly. Trip spotted him. They’re in the bus terminal. Ward takes a bag full of passports, phone and cash from a locker. If Hollywood would have you believe anything, it’s that almost every bus station locker is a vault of hidden treasure and homeless mens’ underwear. Coulson orders Trip to bring Ward in by any means necessary. One problem: Ward’s already made Trip and flashes the C4 strapped to his waist. They’re going to keep their distance and follow the bus.
One of Skye’s hacker pals found something. It’s the dead body of Tattooed Guy’s girl. He carved into her body. She’s a SHIELD agent. Well, she was a SHIELD agent. Huh. Janice Robbins. Art teacher by day, SHIELD agent by night. Well, dead SHIED agent by night.
Coulson and Skye sneak into Jancie’s apartment like they’re on Dr. House’s team looking for clues. Skye doesn’t buy that this lady was an agent. She says this lady and Coulson have nothing in common, until they go into her studio. It’s filled with paintings of the carvings. Dun dun dun!
agents of shield the writing on the wall symbol paintings
Coulson lays out all the paintings. There is a lot of overlap with what he was carving. She was Agent Rebecca Stevens, Level 6 SHIELD agent at the Trisklellion…except she died 5 years ago of cancer. Dun dun dun!
Mac and Fitz retrieve Stevens’s body by walking into the morgue and grabbing it. They basically used the “walk in and act like you own the place approach.” Apparently it works in morgues just as well as it does weddings and private dinner parties. Good to know…I guess. Simmons does the autopsy. Side note: I’m so happy Simmons is back.
agents of shield the writing on the wall ward on a bus
Bobbie is at the next buys stop, which is Atlanta. Ward offers to help a mom and her kid with their bags. They’re both on his bus to Dallas. Ward doesn’t sit with them, but does sit with Bobbie in the back of the bus. She gets flirty with him. Ward makes her immediately. She plays the denial game well until he pulls out his deadman switch and threaten to blow the bus if she tries anything. Ward jumps on the bus to Boston. He doesn’t spot Hunter in Garth Brooks hat. Ha, take that Ward.
Simmons talks about the murder. It’s grisly. There was GH325 in Stevens’s blood, and it was in the killer’s as well. Coulson denies suffering from hypographia, which is the need to write incessantly. Coulson opens up a secret chamber. He wants Skye and Simmons to torture the secrets of the serum out of him…huh…wha? Simmons straps an iPhone to Coulson’s chest and plugs him into the memory machine from last season. For those of you who missed the tail end of last season, the machine helps Coulson retrieve his memories. Mac is there to hold Coulson down while he’s using the machine. It’s not a pleasant experience, this memory machine.
CHLOE BENNET, CLARK GREGG
Coulson remembers….he’s at the guest house, in the interview room. He’s alone. In front of him is Stevens’s file folder. She appears before him. This is some Twin Peaks type shit. She’s post-TAHITI. She feels great. Whoa, there were others, including the Tattooed Guy. They all say they fell great. There are six TAHITI test subjects altogether.  He recommends the immediate release of all 6 patients. And then Stevens starts maniacally carving. They’re all going crazy in front of him….except the Tattooed Guy. He’s normal. If I know anything, the most normal looking guy is always the craziest…oh right, we already saw him carve up a woman earlier this episode. Coulson wants to shut down the program and destroy the dead alien. The dead alien is thousands of years old. The doctor in charge doesn’t want to stop. She thinks the alien host is inserting memories in them. She suggests wiping all their memories, saying that the subjects will be able to live normal lives. Tattooed Guy gets the Coulson brain surgery.
Up in Boston, and back in the present, Ward stop by pub. The bartender offers him a columbian necktie or a bullet in the head. Ward chooses a bullet in the head on the rocks. It surprisingly does not involve Bulliet Bourbon. Bakshi and some Hydra agents show up. They’re there for Ward. So this is a Hydra bar? Ward says, “Since Strucker is overseas, I assume you report to someone else.” For those of you who don’t know, Baron Von Strucker is a classic Nick Fury and SHIELD villain. He’s one of bad guys in the comics most associated with Hydra. AND, he’s the guy who had Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver held captive at the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Ward tells Bakshi that he will kill Coulson if Bakshi introduce him to Whitehall.
Two of the six TAHITI patients are still alive.
In Coulson’s mind, we find out that Tattooed Guy was carving into himself when he was locked up. Coulson imagines Tattooed Guy becoming Coulson. Coulson is losing it. They finally pull Coulson out. He’s screaming “I need to know.” Me too, Phil. Me too.
May is pissed that Coulson went int he machine. Coulson is a maniac. Skye pulls a gun on him after he shoves Simmons. May wants Coulson locked up. Coulson agreees. Skye takes Coulson down to Ward’s old cell, but Coulson gets the drop on her, throws her in the cell and runs out. Oh Skye…
The other alive TAHITI guy is living in the burbs. He has made a very elaborate train set for his son in his basement. It is awesome, and I’m guessing looks like the symbols when seen from above. His wife says he has a visitor. Uh oh.
Mac and Fitz are plaing some first person shooters. Mac wants Fitz to play to help Fitz’s hand-eye coordination. Fitz says brains don’t delete files, just connections. This means that good ol’ Fitz is somewhere in there! Hook him up to Coulson’s memory machine! Wait, don’t do that.
Apparently the guys didn’t notice that Skye is on the video monitor waving to them from the jail.
Back in the burbs, the guy at the door is Coulson. Coulson pulls a gun on the dude. Oh, Coulson, that’s not how you make a first impression. When asked, the guy says he’s never seen the symbols. He says’ I told you both, you’ve go the wrong guy. Wait, what other guy? Then Tattooed Guy smacks Coulson the head.
May, Bobbie, Hunter and Trip are gearing up in the back of a van. They storm the bar. Everyone in the bar is dead. Ward isn’t there, neither is Bakshi. Someone is strapped to a chair int he back room, covered in  a head towel. May pulls the hood off. It’s Bakshi, in Ward’s clothes. Wait, then what is Ward wearing? It would be funny if Ward chose this moment to become a streaker. Bakshi’s mouth is taped closed. On the tape is written “For Coulson.” This is why you make a Christmas list, people! Who wants a Bakshi as a gift?
agents of shield the writing on the wall bakshi for coulson
Tattoed Guy has everyone bound. He’s ready to carve into Coulson. He’s pissed at Coulson for erasing his memories. Keep talking and Coulson can work his way free. Then TG tells Coulson that pain helped him remember. He slices both of Coulson’s arms. He says he came for Coulson first, but Coulson was already dead. TG works out that Coulson is resurrected the same way he was…the TAHITI method. Tattooed Guy shows off his tattoo. “What does it mean?” he asks Coulson, but Coulson says he doesn’t know, and that’ he’s trying to find out too. Coulson looks at the train set and realizes the symbols aren’t a 2D drawing. Now if only he could untie himself and do something with that information.
JOEL GRETSCH, BRIAN VAN HOLT
Oh wait, it’s the other guy, not Coulson, who has been working his way free. TG slices Coulson’s chest as the other guy frees his family. TG throws the knife at that dude’s head. He catches it. Maybe you can’t fully erase memories. He throws the knife at Coulson’s rope, freeing him.
Skye explains Tahitti to Mac, and anyone who missed the end of last season, as they drive to Coulson. The other TAHITI survivor flags them down. He says two guys are trying to kill each other at his place. TG chases Coulson up a flight of stairs. He’s totally looney toons. Coulson tries strangling him. He forces TG to look at the train set. Mac is going to shoot Coulson if she doesn’t let TG go. Coulson needs him to look. As Mac counts three, Coulson lets go, and TG opens his eyes. He’s relieved. They all are. From above, the train set is a huge blueprint of a city. Attilan?
For those of you who didn’t grow up reading Marvel comics, Attilan is the home of the Inhumans, a superpowered offshoot of humanity created by the alien Kree. The Kree are blue skinned, just like the dead TAHITI alien.
Coulson gives Hank Thompson/Cameron Klein (the other TAHITI survivor) his file and offers him a spot in SHIELD. Thompson declines. He likes his family too much to give them up.
Tattooed Guy, aka Sebastian Derrick, is turned over to the authorities. Oh right, he’s a murderer.
Coulson says he has no compulsion to carve anymore. Now he needs to figure out where this city is. Oo, oo, check the Himalyas!
On the plus side, Coulson and company have Batshi in their cell and access to Bakshi’s cell phone.
Coulson briefs the team about the carvings and his freak outs. Coulson has a 3D map of the symbols. He tells them, “Our job, find it before anyone else.”
Ward puts on a  record and checks himself out in the mirror. He shaves the evilness off his face. His beard that is. And gives himself a haircut. Bill Withers Who is He? (And what is He to You)” plays on the radio. Skye is listening to the same record. Side note: you should all listen to Bill Withers. The man is amazing. Bakshi’s phone gets a call. Skye answers “Hail Hydra.” It’s Ward. He wanted to make sure Coulson got his gift. Ward is in a suit. He cleans up nice. He’s in DC. Washington, that is, not Marvel’s competition and home to Batman and Superman. Ward off to visit his brother Christian.
agents of shield the writing on the wall shaved ward
THE END

Agents of SHIELD – S2E3 – Making Friends and Influencing People – Recap

We open on some dude that kinda looks like the Silver Fox from Mad Men, but with glasses. It’s not him. He’s a scotch collector. Seriously, he loves his scotch, going on and on about how he bought a case for $10 when he first enlisted and let it mature. “$10 seemed so expensive back then.” Wait a minute, I think this guys ages like Captain America, in that he doesn’t. He has a metronome going in his apartment. Metronomes signify evil, right? No upstanding sane person just has a metronome going all day, well no upstanding sane person outside of the music field, I mean. Oh, he has a woman strapped to some machinery and has her eyes forced open with wire. Okay, this is definitely not a good guy. I wonder if we’re looking at a character from Cap’s past or a new character for the show. He brainwashing a SHIELD agent named Agent 33. She’s adamant that she won’t break.

SHIELD-s2e3-agent-33

On a brighter note, Simmons is back! The real Simmons, I mean, not just the Fitz’s imaginary friend Simmons. Simmons’s intro really reminds me of the intro to Desmond on season two of Lost. On a side note, this song that’s playing during her reintroduction montage is God Help The Girl by God Help The Girl. I’ve really been digging this lately. You should check it out too. 

Wait a minute…Simmons is working for Hydra?!! And they’re pretty blatant about putting their logo out and about, like “let’s hang a three foot version of our secret group’s logo on this wall” blatant.

 May is teaching Skye how to shoot. Skye likes to pretend that the targets are all Ward. Skye is wearing a FitBit like bracelet to monitor her heart rate. Apple should have totally jumped on season two of SHIELD for branding their Applewatch. May warns Skye that “Experience doesn’t make it any easier to take someone out.” If you didn’t watch season one of SHIELD, Skye does a great job of summing it up for Lance in about 10 seconds.
Coulson returns to the base. Coulson was after Agent 33, but Hydra got to her first.
Simmons’s boss is total middle management. He’s getting on Simmons’s ass about needing some info for a presentation. Simmons glances at his folder and sees Donnie Gill’s photo. You might remember Donnie from such things as almost destroying the SHIELD Academy, aka SHIELDwarts, last season with his weather-machine/bomb.
Donnie’s now in Marrakesh. He trades fixing old radios for coffee. It’s a living. He also has ice powers. When the barista starts acting suspicious, Donnie freezes him solid.  Two SHIELD (or Hydra…who can tell these days?) agents come out of hiding and ask him to stand down. He freezes one of them. The other runs off. Donnie freezes the guy so solidly that when he tips over, he shatters. Yet the guy’s phone doesn’t freeze and works fine. Here that, Apple?
 
Simmons comes home and hears someone in her apartment. She pulls out her gun and almost shoots Coulson. Coulson goes all Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on her fridge, and cooks her dinner as she fills him in. Coulson is both charming and shows excellent cooking skill in this scene. No wonder that cellist in Portland fell for him. Simmons is clearly glad to see Coulson. I’m clearly glad to see Simmons. She fills him in on Donnie, and how he’s basically Iceman now.
Back at the base, Coulson fills the team in on Hydra going after Gill. Interestingly, he goes out of his way not to say that it was Simmons who gave him the information. Look at Phil, keeping it close to the vest. Join my team and betray me once, shame on you. Join my team and betray me twice, shame on me.  Fitz is asked about Gill. He suggests asking Simmons if they know how to contact her.
MING-NA WEN, HENRY SIMMONS, NICK BLOOD, CHLOE BENNET
Skye misses the meeting, because she’s questioning Ward. He’s about to tell Skye about her dad when Skye cuts him off, asking Ward about how Hydra deals with recruiting gifted people. Ward explains that Hydra goes by the convince, capture or kill method. 
In Casablanca, Donnie is wandering the docks. He uses his ice powers to freeze a a boat in place. Um, Donnie, it’s already anchored.
Simmons is taken upstairs by security. This can’t be good. They’re on to her.  Even her boss is afraid for her. Simmons has to prove her loyalty to Hydra. She’s being questioned by the Silver Fox’s friend whose name I didn’t catch at the start of the episode. He accuses her of lying to them before the show cuts to commercial. Dun dun dun!
simmons is back
Back from the break, and Simmons is still being questioned. Donnie Gill is being referred to as Project: Blizzard. For you home-gamers, Blizzard is an Iron Man villain with ice powers. Simmons plays the part of the cold-hearted scientist to prove her loyalty to Hydra and separate herself from SHIELD.
Agent 33 is still being brainwashed by the Silver Fox. She’s trying to pry herself lose. She gets one hand free, but the Silver Fox catches her. She doesn’t have the willpower to fight back. Agent 33 is still trying to fight back, even if she can’t escape. The Silver Fox doesn’t even bother to re-restrain her.
Coulson’s team goes to investigate Donnie’s icecap around a boat, leaving Mac and Fitz behind. Mac suggests they use this time to work on Fitz. Mac is like the Sean Maguire to Fitz’s  Will Hunting. It’s not your fault, Fitz. It’s not your fault. 
its not your fault
Hydra and Simmons are heading to Gill too. Donnie wants to be left alone. He really likes freezing people. Donnie plans to kill every Hydra agent they send. Hydra sends Simmons. Don’t kill Simmons, Donnie!
simmons on a boat
Back at Coulson City (that’s what I’m now calling Coulson’s team’s base), Fitz is having a deep convo with imaginary Simmons. I love this episode. We’re getting double the Simmons! It’s funny how different season 1 (imaginary) Simmons and season 2 (real) Simmons dress. Fitz tells Simmons she’s not really here. He then heads to Ward’s cell to confront him. Fitz immediately can’t handle it and starts to have a breakdown. It’s not your fault, Fitz. It’s not your fault.
Coulson has an invisible jet! Take that, Wonder Woman!
Lance flirts with Skye as they gets ready to parachute with May out of the Bus. Everyone’s flirting with Skye…
Ward explains that he wasn’t trying to kill FitzSimmons when he dropped them in the ocean, he was trying to save them. Fitz shows Ward what hypoxia feels like by killing the oxygen in Ward’s cell. Oh boy. Ward warns Fitz about Donnie. Donnie is a trap! I think!
Simmons searches the ship for Donnie. She plays the “Hey, we hung out a SHIELDwarts that one time they you almost blew up the place” card.
May, Skye and Lance storm the boat. Skye gets the best line of the week when she tells Lance, “You don’t give the orders, Trainspotting.” His response: “I’m not Scottish.” They take out some Hydra agents. Elsewhere, Mac takes out some enemy soldiers in a video game. Fitz gets his attention by unplugging everything.
Simmons meets up with Donnie. She’s trying to recruit him for Hydra…because she doesn’t want to be shot…or frozen. Her Hydra handler gives Simmons something to tell him. It’s his brainwash program phrase. She repeats it to him a couple of times.
Fitz explains to Coulson that Donnie’s already been brainwashed by Hydra and they’re reactivating him. Lance has an open shot on the Hydra agent talking to Donnie. Don’t shoot, that’s Simmons! May shoots Lance, which ruins Lance’s shot and freaks Donnie out and ruins Lance’s shot. Donnie almost freezes Simmons. Simmons runs back to her Hydra boss, who patiently waits for Donnie. He tells Donnie his program phrase. It totally brainwashes Donnie. Donnie is now 100% Hydra. Simmons, her boss and the Hydra crew get to the chopper and Donnie is left behind to ice everyone else.
Lance tries shooting his way out of a frozen door. It doesn’t work. Ice is overtaking the ship when Skye takes out Donnie with a sniper rifle. He falls into the water and is encapsulated by ice Captain America style. Simmons saves her boss from another of Skye’s sniper rifle shot. That keeps Simmons’s cover maintained. Skye radios into Trip. They both know that Skye is under deep cover. I’m confused. I thought Skye was pissed at Simmons last week. Oooo, good one Skye. Way to be all secret agenty around your friends. 
Skye asks May about Simmons. As it turns out, Skye did not know Simmons was undercover before the boat. May did though.
Coulson recovers a bunch of Hydra cargo. No one finds Gill’s body. 
Coulson has it out with Fitz. Coulson knows he almost killed Ward. Fitz uses the “but I didn’t” excuse. Coulson tells Fitz about Simmons. Fitz asks if she wanted to leave. Coulson gives him a non-answer.
The Silver Fox is the new Hydra big shot. He asks Simmons’s boss who is in charge at SHIELD. He doesn’t know. Agent 33 walks in with some paperwork, which is in a Hydra logo embossed folder. Seriously guys, way to go on the whole secret organization stuff. Agent 33 is 100% Hydra. Simmon’s boss wants to bring Simmons upstairs to the top floor, and says that if she betrays them, they’ll brainwash her too.
Skye meets up with Ward. Ward tells her that he was never brainwashed. Ward also tells her that her dad is alive. Skye freaks and runs away. Her watch shows her heart rate spiking. And that’s it! Come back next episode…and buy a FitBit in the meantime, just like Skye!

Gotham – S1E3 – The Balloonman – Recap

Hi everyone! This week’s episode of Gotham was pretty boring! Let’s get to it!

We open on Penguin getting off a bus, wearing the clothes that belonged to one of the bros he killed in last week’s episode. Looking around, he sees the following: some kids taking a guy’s wallet, a cop taking a bribe, a guy stealing a lady’s purse, and another lady (?) propositioning a stranger in a car for sex. All on the same block. In daylight. Within like a one minute time span. I know that we’re being force fed the line that Gotham is a horrible place and needs a savior (a “knight,” if you will) to come clean it up, but geez Louise, why does anyone live here? Anyway, Penguin sees all of this, smirks, and says “home.” As he walks away, we see a newscast talking about a guy who stole people’s money via a pyramid scheme – we cut to the thief yelling at his lawyer, basically showing the audience that he’s a real bad guy. He walks out onto the street, where he’s confronted by a stranger in a pig mask (for a second I thought it was going to be Professor. Pyg from Grant Morrison’s Batman run) who attaches a large balloon to him, carrying him high above the city. Yeah. This is happening. Buckle up.

Gotham Pig Face

After the opening title, we see Gordon and Bullock at the crime scene, where Bullock tells Gordon that the thief deserved what he got, just in case viewers at home were not aware that everyone in Gotham City is awful. Back at the police station, we’re introduced to Lt. Cranston, whose sole purpose is to talk about beating up suspects to remind us that Gotham’s police force is awful. While Gordon and Bullock discuss the first episode of the Gotham for those at home that might have missed it, a representative from juvenile services comes in with Catgirl, and signs her over to Gordon’s custody.

They go to the alley where the Waynes were shot, and she tells him about what she saw, which is pretty much what Gordon already knew. She says she can prove what she saw, because of the wallet she stole and tossed down the sewer – because he’s a chump, Gordon agrees to climb into the sewer to see if he can find the wallet. While he’s down there, Catgirl runs off.

gotham catgirl and gordon

We cut over to Fish Mooney’s club, where detectives Montoya and Allen come in to check after Penguin’s disappearance. Mooney chews some scenery, and puts the blame on Gordon. Seriously, Jada Pinkett Smith is the only person having any kind of fun on this show. On a street somewhere, Penguin is recognized by a thug, so he kills him in broad daylight and waddles off.

At Wayne Manor, we find Alfred goading Bruce into having a sword fight (?) in an office (??) Alfred talks a lot, but honestly I’ve watched the scene like 3 times and don’t have any idea what he said. There was huffing and puffing. Alfred knocks over some files, and notices that Bruce has been looking at the crime scene photos from when his parents were killed. Bruce explains he’s looking for clues, and Alfred replies “what, so you’re a detective now?” This is foreshadowing. Because of Batman.

Back at the GCPD, Montoya and Allen come in and accuse Gordon of killing Penguin. Everyone glares, everyone grits their teeth, you don’t see anyone’s feet – it’s like a Rob Liefeld comic.

Nick with The Rob

Nick and The Rob at NYCC 2014

We jump to a random Italian restaurant, where we find Penguin applying for a job in the kitchen – except they’re all staffed up. The manager tells him he doesn’t even have the right shoes for the job, and stomps off. I wonder if this will become important later.

Back at the police station (again) Bullock comes up with some information on the balloonman (you guys, seriously. We are almost halfway through, and I’d completely forgotten about the main “villain” of the episode.) Gordon fills Bullock in on his meeting with Montoya and Allen. While they make their way to talk to a lead in the balloon case, Penguin creeps up on a guy who works at the restaurant who just so happens to wear the same shoe size as he does! What luck!

Remember earlier, when we were introduced to Lt. Cranston, who sort of came out of nowhere and only seemed to exist to fill the “bad cop” quota for the episode? Well, the Balloonman comes up to him in an alley (where Cranston was beating up a drug dealer for his money.) They tussle, and Cranston ends up floating up into the air.

So, now that a cop’s been killed, it’s a whole new ballgame. We cut to Gordon and Bullock in Essen’s office, going over the information they have on the suspect. Basically, Bullock is ready to send the guy away forever, regardless of whether or not he actually did it (Gotham City cops are bad, remember?) The weird thing is that based on all of the TV clips they show in the background, the citizens of Gotham seem to know that all the cops/public officials are bad news, and are totally on board with vigilante killings. It’s just hysterical that the public has zero faith in these guys, either. Then there’s a montage of Bullock being skeezy and violent while Gordon watches.

Back at the Italian restaurant, Penguin got a job!

gotham penguin restaurant

Gordon and Bullock end up at another random apartment building, bust in, and arrest everyone, thinking they’re responsible for the balloon murders.

After commercials, we open on Mooney and her crybaby beat-up boyfriend from last episode, and you can clearly tell she’s over him. She asks one of our thugs to kill him, in addition to Falcone’s new girlfriend.

Back at Gordon’s apartment, we find that Montoya has just straight up walked into the place (using her old key, because she used to totally make out with his girlfriend but he doesn’t know yet,) where she finds Barbara, wearing little clothes and smoking weed. Montoya (again) tells Barbara that Gordon is bad news, and then there’s some more chit chat about how she still loves her and blah blah blah. THEN THERE’S KISSING AND BARBARA GETS MAD!

gotham-barbara and montoya

There’s a brief interrogation scene, where we basically find out that the suspect didn’t actually commit the crimes. They find Cranston’s body, and he’s got the form that Gordon signed to take Catgirl out earlier, which means that Gordon now knows who Balloonman is! Which is good, because we’ve got like 10 minutes left and this episode is super boring.

Long story short, the killer ends up being someone at juvenile services, and he looks like he’s a pretty good guy, not at all like someone who’d be involved in public office in Gotham City. Bullock and Gordon go after him, and there’s a hilarious moment where Balloonman and Gordon end up floating into the air, until Bullock shoots the balloon, causing them to drop onto the top of a van. Just based on the way this was filmed, they look like they are waaaaaaaaaaay higher up than they were, based on how Gordon could still walk away (although Balloonman ends up strapped to a board with a neck brace) but since I’m sure we’re going to eventually end up with maniacal killer clown people, I can let it slide.

After a brief scene of Falcone and Mooney, filled with veiled threats and whatever, we end this episode at Barbara’s apartment, where an achy Gordon tells her that the city is corrupt and horrible and he doesn’t know what he can do. There’s a knock on the door, and OH MAN THERE’S THE PENGUIN ALL DRESSED FANCY AND LOOKING LIKE AN EXTRA FROM A MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE VIDEO AND WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT YOU GUYS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This episode was kind of blargh, but based on the previews for next week, it looks like we might get the Gordon and Penguin super fun happy hour. So, moving up? Who knows?

Written by Nick Doyle. Follow Nick on Twitter: @nicholasdoyle.

Gotham – S1E2 – Selina Kyle – Recap

gotham selina cops

Last week, on Gotham, we were introduced to Detective Jim Gordon and his good-for-nothing-but-will-probably-end-up-having-a-heart-of-gold partner Harvey Bullock, along with nearly every single Batman Villain that’s ever existed. I think they’re saving Calendar Man for season two. Also, we met Bruce Wayne but he’s barely out of pre-school, so we’ve got a looooooong series ahead of us.

calendar man

This week’s episode opens with Bruce alone in Wayne Manor, holding his hand over a lit candle. He keeps putting his hand closer to the flame, I guess in an attempt to see how much of the pain he can withstand. Alfred comes in, gets really angry, then hugs him, telling him it will be all right. Spoiler alert: it won’t be.

We cut to one of Gotham City’s many dark and scary alleys, where we find Catgirl batting a locket with her hand. Y’know, like a cat. There is a group of kids standing by a trashcan fire, which is the telltale sign of homeless people and/or hobos. A food truck pulls into the alley, and two overly-chipper people pop out to offer the kids some food. (One of the other kids yells to Catgirl, telling her she should come eat. He calls her “Cat.” Because the writers of this show want to make sure that there is no ambiguity about who this person is.) One of the food truck people, out of nowhere, starts jabbing the kids with a pen, immediately knocking them out. Catgirl runs away, as does another one of the homeless kids. Food Truck Guy gives chase, but is stopped by an older homeless person who comes out nowhere – Food Truck Guy shoots him and continues his chase. He catches up to the kid in front of a restaurant, and for a second I thought we were going to get an homage to the “Rick Moranis is attacked by a dog in front of Tavern on the Green while none of the rich people inside notice” scene from Ghostbusters (which, admittedly, would have been awesome.) Instead, Food Truck Guy throws him through the window instead. For some reason? I don’t know.

ghostbusters

The next morning, we find Gordon in the alley squinting at the body while Catgirl poses on a roof. Bullock meets Gordon, and tells him that he shouldn’t waste his time because homeless people suck (HEY EVERYONE GOTHAM COPS ARE BAD GUYS.) A beat cop arrives, and Gordon yells at him because he should have already been at the crime scene – the cop explains that he was at the restaurant because they pay him money to keep an eye on the place (GOTHAM COPS ARE BAD.)

Back at the station, Bullock and Gordon are interrogating the kid who was thrown through a window – his name is Mackie – and seriously, for a dude that got TOSSED THROUGH A GLASS WINDOW he looks really good. Bullock, further illustrating that he’s a bad, bad, cop (see above) ignores everything that Mackie tells him (homeless kids have been disappearing but no one cares, etc) and accuses Mackie of the murder and threatens to beat the truth out of him. Gordon pulls Bullock aside to tell him he can’t beat up the suspect, because, well, it’s illegal This prompts Bullock to bring up last week’s episode of Gotham, where Gordon was forced to kill Penguin in order to prove he could be a bad cop, too.

Speaking of, we cut to Penguin as he waddles down the highway, and is picked up by a couple of preppy bros, who offer him booze and chit-chat – one of them tells Penguin that he looks like a Penguin, which causes him to break the bottle and kill the crap out of him! I can’t believe they missed last week’s episode of Gotham, where this happened 46 times.

After the credits, we cut back to the police chief’s office, where Bullock is complaining that Gordon wouldn’t let him beat up a suspect. What a crybaby. Nygma, slinks by the window, being creepy, and comes into the office to tell them that the blood test on Mackie came back with high levels of a knockout drug that used to be used at Arkham Asylum, which has been closed for years. After he’s done dumping exposition, he stands there, looking creepy. Bullock mentions that the kidnappings are happening on Fish Mooney’s “turf” and that maybe they should check in with her, to see if she is still mad at them. It’s been a few days since she had them hung upside down in a slaughterhouse. I’m sure everything’s cool now.

At Mooney’s club, everyone’s watching a cute Asian power pop band, and Carmine Falcone shows up to accuse Mooney of trying to muscle in on his business. To show her who’s boss, he has his dudes beat the crap out of one of her employees, who Falcone refers to as “her lover” (gross.) Falcone leaves, and Mooney flips out and clears the club. A short time later, she’s making plans to take over Falcone’s empire. She says she’s going to kill him “with <her> bare hands and <her> teeth.” Uhhhhh…what? She wishes Penguin was still alive, because she didn’t make him suffer enough. I like how every time someone mentions Penguin being dead, they cut to a scene of Penguin doing stuff, still alive! It’s clever! This time, we see him pull up (driving the bro’s car) to a house in order to rent a trailer from a country sort of guy (ok, seriously, where is Gotham City.) There’s some idle chit-chat about the bro’s truck (PENGUIN IS A NERD YOU GUYS AND HAS NO IDEA ABOUT CARS HA HA)

Gordon and Bullock pay a visit to Fish Mooney, where she kinda/sorta apologizes for trying to have them killed, on account her being “feisty.” Mooney informs Bullock and Gordon about an overseas organization that is paying for teenagers for…some reason? No one knows. Or cares, apparently, because Gotham City is a horrible awful place. I am beginning to wonder if one man can truly make a difference in a town like this.

Now, because the police chief told Gordon and Bullock not to let the press know about the abductions, Gordon makes sure to tell his girlfriend so she can call the newspapers. He is really bad at not-discussing case-related stuff with people. Just really bad. This is, however, when we learn that the chief’s name is “Sara Essen” which for God’s sake are the writers just throwing darts at a list of characters that have appeared in Batman comics? Because Sarah Essen is actually kind of an important character and they’ve just tossed her name on some rando. I digress.

We jump back to the police station and boy is everyone pissed about the story making the papers! Gordon and Bullock tell Essen that they have the names of all of the companies that sell the knockout drugs used by the kidnappers, and are going to “lean hard” on them. We cut to one of said companies, where the two Food Tuck people are getting yelled at by the owner of the company. At this moment, Gordon and Bullock show up (quick digression before the action starts: outside the lab/store/whatever, Bullock is telling Gordon how he needs to be more controlling of his girlfriend, and says that Gordon is a “monkey riding a racehorse.” What the crap does that mean? If you know, feel free to leave the answer in the comments.)

15-monkeyonahorse

After paying lip service to interrogating the owner, Bullock and Gordon are surprised when the creepy food truck people turn off the lights and start a shootout! The CFTP run out and drive off, while Gordon finds the room where all of the kids are being held. DAY SAVED, WITH SEVENTEEN MINUTES LEFT IN THE EPISODE!

PSYCHE! After commercials, we join the Mayor giving a press conference, where he says that basically they’re going to take all of the homeless kids off of the streets and send them out of the city. To protect them from the kidnappers? I don’t know, Gotham City is gross and mean. After the press conference, Gordon finds that Alfred has dropped by for a visit. He asks if Gordon would drop by to visit them. Which is a little weird, but okay. We cut to Bruce doodling scary things while listening to metal.

Back in another location, we find all of the homeless kids getting loaded onto a few school buses, and we see Catgirl being sassy to a cop. Food Truck Lady comes on board, and when Catgirl recognizes her and tries to run away, FTL pulls a gun on her and makes her sit.

gotham e2 selina bus

The mayor stomps into Essen’s office, completely livid over the fact that an entire bus of kids had disappeared. He begs her to tell him that it was not the work of the “snatchers” (who…who else could it have been?) Cut to the cell in the middle of the station (again, like last time, totally weird) where Bullock is beating the owner of the lab/store/whatever with a phone book, because, yeah, sure. He tells them the logo on the food truck had a picture of a plate and a fork on the side. After doodling Gordon realizes that the logo is not a plate and a fork but rather a trident, which is the logo of “Trident International Shipping! (DETECTIVE WORK!)

FTG and FTL are startled as a guy comes from “the back” of the warehouse, holding his eyes. When he pulls his hands away, they’re all bloody and gross. FTL kills him because his eyes are totally disgusting. She finds Catgirl, and is about to shoot her except Gordon shows up out of nowhere and clocks her. Case closed, easy peasy.

At Wayne Manor, Alfred and Gordon are talking about Bruce – Gordon suggests therapy, but Alfred tells him that Thomas Wayne told Alfred that if he and his wife were ever murdered in an alley, Alfred had to allow Bruce to follow his own path. So, if Bruce wants to listen to heavy metal music and cut himself, it’s totally cool. Let’s let a grade school kid take control of his life. Milkshakes for dinner every day! Bruce pops in, and explains that when he does things like burning or cutting himself, he’s testing himself. He offers to give money to the homeless kids, but Gordon tells him that they don’t need money (huh?) they need people to take care of them (oh. But also maybe they need money.)

At the station, Gordon and “Cat” banter back and forth a little, and we learn her name is actually “Selina.” She tells Gordon that she knows who killed the Waynes, but since this is only the second episode and the episode only has one minute left, we gotta go! DUN DUN DUN!

So, the second episode of Gotham is definitely better than the first, but the acting is still pretty awful across the board, and Gordon is straight up an awful detective. I was noticing that the actress that plays Selina looks a lot like Julie Newmar; this, combined with Pinkett Smith’s amazing Eartha Kitt impression, makes me hope that the show is actually just a prequel to the Adam Wets Batman series. I’m not into the idea of introducing Batman’s entire rogues gallery before he hits puberty, but if a vaguely Latino gentleman with a moustache shows up telling jokes, I might change my mind…

Written by Nick Doyle. Follow Nick on Twitter: @nicholasdoyle.

Agents of SHIELD – S1E15 – Yes Men – Recap

Thor: The Dark World once again crosses over with the TV show Agents of SHIELD this week. Like, The Well, Yes Men also deals with the aftermath of Thor: The Dark World. While Lorelei was not in Thor 2, it’s revealed in this episode that she was freed from her Asgardian prison during Malekith’s assault on Asgard. Unlike The Well, sadly, there’s no Dr. Janoch Pohaa. But  we do get Lady Sif in this episode! Can we please have a Zachary Levi as Fandral appearance next?

JAIMIE ALEXANDER

It’s a battle of the sexes this episode as Lorelei as every male character in this episode with the exception of Coulson falls under Lorelei’s spell. Coulson not being under Lorelei’s command leads to my favorite scene in the episode. A spellbound Fitz locks Skye and Simmons in Skye’s recovery room. Coulson plays along with Fitz’s love of Lorelei (lorelove?) just long enough to deck Fitz unconscious.

Ward and May’s sexual relationship ends soon after Lorelei reveals to May that Ward has deep feelings for someone on the team…and it isn’t May. Once Ward is free of Lorelei’s spell, May dumps him. The writing was on the wall for this in the “Previously on Agents of SHIELD” opening sequence.  Why include the clip of May telling Coulson that she had no problem dumping Ward unless it was going to happen in this episode? All in all, it’s an up and down day for Ward. On the one hand, he was dumped by May. On the other hand, he had wild sex with a god.

Questions: Can humans impregnate Norse gods? Do Norse gods even bother with protection? Norse herpes has be at least 1,000 times worse than regular herpes, right?

lorelei agents of shield

I liked that Lorelei picked her man-slaves in ascending order of toughness. Biker gang? Tougher than the yuppie newlywed. Ward? Tougher than a biker bang. Fitz? Yeah, I said it, tougher than Ward! I’m completely assuming Lorelei made time to have her way with Fitz off screen before Coulson happened upon a spellbound Fitz. You go, Fitz. Get yo’ Asgard on.

JAIMIE ALEXANDER

Parting thought: Never bring a gun to a god fight.

The episode ends with Coulson apologizing to Skye for her being injected with alien blood on his orders, but Skye brushes it aside because, you know, it did save her life. Coulson then wants to team up with Skye to confront whomever was responsible for Tahiti.  I really wanted Coulson to hold his hand up, Skye grip it and they rev Lola out the back of the bus midair Thelma and Louise style. It’s cool, the car flies.

Agents of SHIELD – S1E14 – Tahiti – Recap

It’s been almost a month since we had a new episode, but Agents of SHIELD is finally back! The last episode ended with the team in disarray. Skye’s been shot and is comatose in critical condition. And after finding out the truth about his resurrection, Coulson doesn’t know who he can trust.

At the start of Tahiti, Coulson’s crew is airborne, desperately trying to find somewhere they can bring Skye. Coulson instructs the team to bring him to the SHIELD facility that treated him after the battle of New York. One problem: that SHIELD facility doesn’t exist and the main doctor who operated on Coulson seems to have disappeared. Coulson tries getting Fury on the line, which sadly does not lead to Samuel L. Jackson making a cameo.

Fitz, being awesome, figures out what the secret facility actually is, and in an audience-disbelief defying maneuver, manages to figure out that the 3D file he’s looking at isn’t actually encrypted, but rather an inside-out topographical map. In Fitz’s defense, this scene looked awesome, especially when the 3D map dissolved into the real mountain on screen.

A hamper in Coulson’s plan to save Skye occurs when the bus is boarded by Ward’s old SO, Agent John Garrett (Bill Paxton!!), and Garrett’s new Ward, whose name I forget, so I’m calling him Ward 2.0. Ward 2.0 has a thing for Simmons. Can’t blame him. Garrett and Ward 2.0 want Ian Quinn. Quinn was responsible for some of Garrett’s team dying and Garrett wants him for questioning. I was super-convinced during this episode that Garrett and Ward 2.0 were going to be double agents working to free Quinn. I kept waiting for them to turn on Coulson’s team. And it never happened. Sorry for not trusting you more, Mr. Paxton.

agents of shield bill paxton

We’re given a question along with some answers in regards to Coulson’s resurrection. It’s not Tahiti. It’s T.A.H.I.T.I. What’s T.A.H.I.T.I. stand for? No clue. But we do find out what’s in this week’s McGuffin, the mysterious drug that was used during Coulson’s operation that could also save Skye. It’s alien blood. As least I hope it’s alien blood. The alien on ice that it’s coming from in T.A.H.I.T.I. is bisected at the waist. I hope that tube isn’t coming from its small intestine. “Here, Skye, take this alien juice. What is it? It’s not alien diarrhea. We promise you that. Definitely not alien diarrhea! Okay, we’ll be going now.” Coulson possibly had the same thought, because a very shaken Coulson is screaming for the team not to inject Skye…only it was too late. Skye’s got alien juice in her…and she’s saved! For now. I’m not saying she’s going to go all Jeff Goldblum in The Fly after that injection, but there’s got to be at least one unintended consequence that comes from it, right?

The final scene leads directly into next week’s episode. A red-headed Asgardian arrives by way of the bi-frost in Death Valley. She quickly hypnotizes a newlywed dude to ditch his wife and drive her away. I immediately thought we were seeing the Marvel Cinematic Universe debut of the Enchantress! But then she says her name…Lorelei, aka the Enchantress’s lesser known sister. We’ll get more Asgardian fun next week, as Sif arrives on the scene to take down Lorelei.

Comic Book Tie-Ins

John Garrett is an Agent of SHIELD that made his first appearance in the hit 1980s miniseries, Elektra: Assassin. I wish they let him keep his bitchin’ mustache on the show.

john garrett

 

Lorelei can be easily confused with her more popular sister, Amora The Enchantress. Both are Norse gods with the power to bend men’s will to their whims. Lorelei first appeared during Walt Simonson’s run of Thor, in Thor #382. As a side note, Walt Simonson’s Thor run also saw the debut of Malekith, the main bad guy in Thor: The Dark World.

lorelei

Agents of SHIELD S1E13 – T.R.A.C.K.S. – Recap

agents of shield tracks deathlok

Agents of SHIELD Episode 13, T.R.A.C.K.S., has Coulson’s entire team going undercover on a train travelling through the Italian countryside in order to intercept a package on its way to Ian Quinn.

This episode  uses a fun storytelling device. The episode goes along linearly until a certain point, then it divides into four non-linear stories before becoming linear at the end. The four stories are set around the four teams of SHIELD agents on the train: 1. Coulson & Simmons, 2. May, 3.  Fitz & Skye, and 4. Ward. Each story starts at the same place, just as the train is passing through a scenic mountain range, which coincides with the moment when Coulson’s plan goes to crap.

ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE, CLARK GREGG

Stan Lee makes a great cameo. He’s flanked by two hot women and calls Coulson out for being a terrible “father” after hearing his “daughter” Simmons go on a long and detailed rant as part of her getting into her undercover character. Like many of Stan’s scenes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this scene provides the episode with a bit of lighthearted fun.

agents of shield tracks stan lee

Coulson’s team gets made, forcing Coulson and Ward to exit the train promptly while it’s still in motion. An enemy agent hurls a grenade that lets out a blue gas that seems to do nothing to Coulson and Ward, but the train immediately disappears at the same time. As we find out in May’s scene, the grenade paralyzed Coulson and Ward, and they weren’t even aware that any time had passed when they came to. This time-lapse grenade is what necessitated the non-linear story-telling in the episode, as it kept the nature of the blue smoke a mystery from not only the characters, but  the viewers too.

agents of shield tracks

The McGuffin that Coulson and company are after turns out to be a machine that when attached to Michael Peterson’s leg-stump transforms into a  fully functional robotic leg. Ladies and gentlemen…say hello to Deathlok.

For those of you unfamiliar with the character, Deathlok is a cybernetic soldier that is half man-half machine. The original Deathlok came from a dystopian future, but in the 1990s, Marvel introduced a present day Deathlok. This Deathlok was a man that had his brain put into the body of prototype Deathlok soldier, which was half-machine, half-reanimated corpse. Think Cyborg from Teen Titans: Go meet Warm Bodies.  The machine and human parts of Deathlok’s brain often came into conflict with each other, the machine lacking the soul and emotion of the human part.  Deathlok was recently reintroduced to Marvel Comics in Rick Remender’s excellent Uncanny X-Force.

The original Deathlok.

The original Deathlok.

This episode does not go well for Skye. She is the only member of Coulson’s team who manages to infiltrate Quinn’s mansion. She’s rewarded with a bullet to the gut for her effort. By the time the rest of the team finds her, she’s bled out a lot. The team places her in a stasis chamber to keep her alive, so Skye is basically in a coma right now. This is the most danger a member of Coulson’s team has faced since Simmons almost died in F.Z.Z.T. I wasn’t a fan of Skye during the first couple of episodes, but she has definitely grown on me. I don’t expect her to die, and it would be a real bummer if she did.

agents of shield tracks skye shot

At the very end of the episode, we get Ward’s reaction to Skye’s near-death experience. Ward is pissed, and not at himself. He blames someone else. He doesn’t say who, but he doesn’t have to. It’s fairly clear that Coulson is the target of his rage. Expect things to come to a head between Ward and Coulson soon.

Arrow S2E7: “State v. Queen”

The episode begins with a flashback, where we see how the Earthquake in the Glades takes apart the Iron Heights Penitentiary. I’d like to see a map of the Arrowverse. Because we know that Iron Heights is in Keystone City. We know the Glades is in Starling City. I really wonder how this earthquake worked. Because not all of Starling City is decimated but the quake made its way to Keystone City. How far apart are these cities? In any case we get to see how the Dollmaker and now Count Vertigo make their escape from the Penitentiary.  Through an Arrow shaped hole.

Arrow_Shaped_Hole

Flash further back to the island. Oliver as been taken to Slade and Shado’s camp by Ivo and his men. Ollie yells to warn them. This buys them time to escape Ivo without him knowing they were there. Though Slade is looking rough. Oliver then takes Ivo to the World War II Japanese bodies. Ivo is looking for the “Hosen” arrowhead that should be with the bodies but cannot find it. He is about to have his men kill Ollie when Slade and Shado rescue him. Once in a safe place Shado reveals the Hosen.

Oliver leads Ivo and his men to the WWII Japanese bodies. Ivo searches everywhere but cannot find “The Hosen,” a special arrowhead that was supposed to be with the bodies. Ivo’s men are about to shoot Oliver when Shado and Slade get the drop on all of them.

Another scene on the island. Slade and Shado rescue Oliver. He grabs Sara as they all flee Ivo’s men. Shado uses one of Ivo’s detonators to cover their escape.

One final island flashback. Shado pulls out the Hosen. She doesn’t know why Ivo wants it. There is a Buddhist inscription on one side and the numbers 30, 30, 175, and 12 on the back. It’s very Lost like and obviously coordinates. They are for the Japanese sub. The sub can apparently save the human race. Ollie wants to find it to save Slade who is getting worse.

Jump back to the present we are finally getting to Moira Queen’s Trial. This is my least favorite story arc of this season so it feels like it has been dragging on forever. A.D.A. Adam Donner who has a “Trump Card” yet to be revealed and Laurel, who should not be allowed to prosecute Moira, are in the courtroom. The trial’s opening arguments try make the case that Moira and her family were threatened by Malcolm Merlyn.

Then we switch to Diggle who is feeling weird since he got a flu-shot. He eventually collapsing from his illness. Then we jump back and Adam Donner is collapsing in the courtroom from seemingly the same thing. Hmmm, I wonder who did this? Adam gets rushed into an ambulance hijacked by Vertigo. Then D.A. Kate Spencer, Alderman Blood, and Laurel are discussing his case and Laurel finds Adam’s “Trump Card.” Laurel goes to the prison where Moira is held and explains this is why Moira can’t take the stand. Because of this Moira is forced to reveal to Thea and Ollie that she had an affair with Malcolm Merlyn. Laurel does a weird cross-examination type thing that makes a terrible case against Moira. How did Laurel get this job? The next day we get the verdict. NOT GUILTY!  WTF?!?!?!

not_dead

Oh yeah and somewhere in here Team Arrow takes down Count Vertigo. Oh, I mean literally. Three arrows in the chest out the window down a few stories on to a cab and I am sure this makes Count Vertigo ripe for a return from the dead. Speaking of which, Moira’s driver takes her from the courtroom to an abandoned parking lot . He steps out of the car and gets shot in the chest by a black Arrow… Malcolm Merlyn is back. He bribed the jury, knows how to escape death, and is Thea’s Dad!

Oh one more scene to mention. Alderman Blood is getting really creepy. He reveals he is the reason for Count Vertigo terrorizing the city. We see he is experimenting on people who now won’t die. One is Brother Cyrus (See more below). I think we’re going to see all these people not dying and the drugs from the island, Slade, and Sebastian Blood all start to connect.

NOTES:

Count Vertigo: Werner Vertigo, also known as Count Vertigo was created by  Gerry Conway and Trevor von Eeden and first appeared in World’s Finest #251 in 1978. In most of his incarnations he is a ruler of a fiction country Vlatava. He uses his “Vertigo Effect” to disrupt his enemies’ balance. The TV show does a nice job of switching that to a drug. When he eventually comes back from the dead I think we will see him with a weapon to give people Vertigo he is fighting. Outside of his history as a Green Arrow and Black Canary villain, he has been a part of the Suicide Squad, Checkmate, and the Injustice Society. For a good Count Vertigo story check out the Green Arrow #23.1 by Jeff Lemire and Andrea Sorrentino.

Malcolm Merlyn: The comic book character of Merlyn first appeared in Justice League of America #94  in 1971. He was created by created by Mike Friedrich, Dick Dillin, and Neal Adams to be an archenemy of Green Arrow. In the comic books Meryln is a stage name and the supervillain name of Arthur King. Oliver Queen is inspired to take up archery after seeing Merlyn perform. As an adult Green Arrow meets Merlyn when Merlyn challenges the hero to a public archery contest. Ollie bests Merlyn. Merlyn disappears from the public eye and joins the League of Assassins. When Green Arrow next meets Merlyn, Ollie is with Batman and is able to deflect one of Merlyn’s arrows with an arrow of his own, saving Batman’s life. Andrew Kreisberg, one of the writers on Arrow wrote a story featuring Merlyn in Green Arrow/Black Canary: Enemies List.

Brother Cyrus: Brother Cyrus most likely refers to Cyrus Gold who becomes the zombie-like character Solomon Grundy. He first appeared in All-American Comics #61 in 1944 and was created by Alfred Bester and Paul Reinman. His name was taken from the 19th Century nursery rhyme.  Solomon Grundy’s story starts when Cyrus Gold , a wealthy merchant, was murdered and his body disposed of in Slaughter Swamp. He was supernaturally resurrected fifty years later, partially being composed of material from the swamp. He is named Solomon Grundy in the hobo camp near the Swamp because his only memory is of being born on a Monday. Pretty mindless, he eventually turns to a life a crime and destruction which puts him into battle with the first Green Lantern, Alan Scott. He is eventually killed, but this is not the end because he is trapped in a constant state of reincarnation. Each time he dies he is resurrected in the Slaughter Swamp with slightly different levels of strength, intelligence, and personality. His most notable story involving Oliver is Green Arrow: The Archer’s Quest written by Brad Meltzer (from History Channel’s Brad Meltzer’s Decoded) and Phil Hester. Obviously in the TV show we are seeing Cyrus being constructed by drugs. However it is worth noting that the forever resurrecting Solomon Grundy goes along with this season’s theme of not dying (Ra’s al Ghul and the Lazurus Pit, Professor Anthony Ivo, Mirakuru, etc.).

Kate Spencer: D.A. Kate Spencer has appeared previously in the season 1 episode “Damaged.” She lead the prosecution that charged Oliver Queen with the crimes the Hood committed. Her comic book counterpart is a federal prosecutor who grows  tired of seeing guilty super-criminals evade punishment. She takes matters into her own hands, stealing equipment and weapons from an evidence room becoming the vigilante Manhunter. She was created by Marc Andreyko and Jesus Saiz for the wonderful series appropriately titled Manhunter.

Jean Loring: She has been a player in the trial storyline this season. She is a defense attorney and an old friend of Moira Queen’s. She was created by Gardner Fox and Gil Kane in Showcase #34 in 1961 as a love interest for Ray Palmer, The Atom. Her comic book counterpart is also a lawyer. She eventually married and divorced Ray Palmer and displayed in various stories some mental instability. She is featured in Identity Crisis by Brad Meltzer and Rags Morales.

Markovia: This is a small country in Europe, ruled by the Markov family and first appeared in The Brave and the Bold #200 in 1983. Prince Brion Markov is also known as the superhero Geo-Force. He can manipulate the Earth’s gravitational field to make an object heavier or lighter, manipulate the earth, turn organic matter into stone, and project “lava blasts.” A Dr. Brion Markov appeared last season in “Darkness at the Edge of Town” where he created a device for Malcolm Merlyn to create the earthquake. Malcolm killed Dr. Markov once the device was complete. Comic book Brion had a half sister Tara Markov who was the sometimes hero and somes villain named Terra who had the ability to control earth much like her brother. She was mentally unstable and had a professional and personal relationship with Slade Wilson. She is introduced in the story “Terra Incognito” in the New Teen Titans. Brion and Ollie were on a team called The Outsiders together.