Game of Thrones – S5E6 – Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken – Recap...

If you’ve never read one of my recaps before, a few things. I’ve read some of the books, but only up to A Storm of Swords. I don’t want to read past the TV show. I ask that you please respect that, and while I welcome comments, I ask that you please don’t spoil anything that hasn’t happened on the show yet. Also, please forgive my use of nicknames. They started because I couldn’t keep track of all the characters names, and my favorites have stuck. SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES – SEASON 5, EPISODE 6 – UNBOWED, UNBENT, UNBROKEN FOLLOW. Proceed at your own risk. The episode opens on Arya cleaning a dead body in the House of Black and White. Some dudes take the body, and leave the door ajar behind them. Arya can’t help by try to look. That bitchy girl slams the door shut and tells  her to get to work. Arya wants to do more than clean dead bodies and tells the girl she’s ready to be tested again. The girl then gives Arya her back story. She’s the daughter of a Westeros lord as well. The story involves a wicked stepmother who attempted to kill her, and the girl’s own vengeance. Arya is really digging it, and you can see on her face that she’s thinking these two could be BFF. Oh wait, sorry Arya, she was just playing you. This girl is like the Heath Ledger Joker, when he would come up with a new story every time for how he got his smile. Later, Arya awakens to Jaqen asking her, “Who are you?” She answers, “Arya Stark.” He peppers her with more questions. Any time she lies, he can tell, and slaps her. Things get interesting...

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap...

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.   The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection.   Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching. Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.   The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on...

Agents of SHIELD -Season 2, Episode 7 – The Writing on the Wall – Recap...

We open on scenic Rhinebeck, NY. A brownstone. Nay, a scenic brownstone. A giddy couple walks in. Hey, the guy is the tattooed dude from the end of last week’s episode…and his girllfriend? Nope, just some girl he picked up at the bar. Go on, player. It’s her place. She pours some wine. She knows him from somewhere but can’t figure out how. “I do some carving every now and then.” What kind of answer is that? She seems ready to marry this dude after just meeting him. Watch that aggression girl; you’re just going to drive him off. He shows her his tattoo. Then he pulls out a knife. Lesson learned: don’t bring strange men home from bars. When he shows her his tattoos,  she recognizes the shapes. Huh. Interesting.  Back at his secret SHIELD base, Coulson is listening to hot jazz and carving in the wall. Actually, I’m not sure if the jazz is hot. It definitely is uptempo. What makes jazz hot? Skye’s not a jazz fan, hot or otherwise. Skye and May are tagteaming watching Coulson as he carves. It’s Skye’s turn. I know Skye said the carvings form a map, but it looks like a decision tree to me. Coulson is carving more and more. He’s not in control of it. He can’t sleep. It’s just carve, carve, carve. It’s definitely taking a toll on him. May is hunting Ward. She’s airborne. Ward is in Philly. Trip spotted him. They’re in the bus terminal. Ward takes a bag full of passports, phone and cash from a locker. If Hollywood would have you believe anything, it’s that almost every bus station locker is a vault of hidden treasure and homeless mens’ underwear. Coulson orders Trip to bring Ward in by any means necessary. One problem:...

Agents of SHIELD – S2E3 – Making Friends and Influencing People – Recap...

We open on some dude that kinda looks like the Silver Fox from Mad Men, but with glasses. It’s not him. He’s a scotch collector. Seriously, he loves his scotch, going on and on about how he bought a case for $10 when he first enlisted and let it mature. “$10 seemed so expensive back then.” Wait a minute, I think this guys ages like Captain America, in that he doesn’t. He has a metronome going in his apartment. Metronomes signify evil, right? No upstanding sane person just has a metronome going all day, well no upstanding sane person outside of the music field, I mean. Oh, he has a woman strapped to some machinery and has her eyes forced open with wire. Okay, this is definitely not a good guy. I wonder if we’re looking at a character from Cap’s past or a new character for the show. He brainwashing a SHIELD agent named Agent 33. She’s adamant that she won’t break. On a brighter note, Simmons is back! The real Simmons, I mean, not just the Fitz’s imaginary friend Simmons. Simmons’s intro really reminds me of the intro to Desmond on season two of Lost. On a side note, this song that’s playing during her reintroduction montage is God Help The Girl by God Help The Girl. I’ve really been digging this lately. You should check it out too.  Wait a minute…Simmons is working for Hydra?!! And they’re pretty blatant about putting their logo out and about, like “let’s hang a three foot version of our secret group’s logo on this wall” blatant.  May is teaching Skye how to shoot. Skye likes to pretend that the targets are all Ward. Skye is wearing a FitBit like bracelet to monitor her heart rate....

Gotham – S1E3 – The Balloonman – Recap...

Hi everyone! This week’s episode of Gotham was pretty boring! Let’s get to it! We open on Penguin getting off a bus, wearing the clothes that belonged to one of the bros he killed in last week’s episode. Looking around, he sees the following: some kids taking a guy’s wallet, a cop taking a bribe, a guy stealing a lady’s purse, and another lady (?) propositioning a stranger in a car for sex. All on the same block. In daylight. Within like a one minute time span. I know that we’re being force fed the line that Gotham is a horrible place and needs a savior (a “knight,” if you will) to come clean it up, but geez Louise, why does anyone live here? Anyway, Penguin sees all of this, smirks, and says “home.” As he walks away, we see a newscast talking about a guy who stole people’s money via a pyramid scheme – we cut to the thief yelling at his lawyer, basically showing the audience that he’s a real bad guy. He walks out onto the street, where he’s confronted by a stranger in a pig mask (for a second I thought it was going to be Professor. Pyg from Grant Morrison’s Batman run) who attaches a large balloon to him, carrying him high above the city. Yeah. This is happening. Buckle up. After the opening title, we see Gordon and Bullock at the crime scene, where Bullock tells Gordon that the thief deserved what he got, just in case viewers at home were not aware that everyone in Gotham City is awful. Back at the police station, we’re introduced to Lt. Cranston, whose sole purpose is to talk about beating up suspects to remind us that Gotham’s police force is...

Gotham – S1E2 – Selina Kyle – Recap...

Last week, on Gotham, we were introduced to Detective Jim Gordon and his good-for-nothing-but-will-probably-end-up-having-a-heart-of-gold partner Harvey Bullock, along with nearly every single Batman Villain that’s ever existed. I think they’re saving Calendar Man for season two. Also, we met Bruce Wayne but he’s barely out of pre-school, so we’ve got a looooooong series ahead of us. This week’s episode opens with Bruce alone in Wayne Manor, holding his hand over a lit candle. He keeps putting his hand closer to the flame, I guess in an attempt to see how much of the pain he can withstand. Alfred comes in, gets really angry, then hugs him, telling him it will be all right. Spoiler alert: it won’t be. We cut to one of Gotham City’s many dark and scary alleys, where we find Catgirl batting a locket with her hand. Y’know, like a cat. There is a group of kids standing by a trashcan fire, which is the telltale sign of homeless people and/or hobos. A food truck pulls into the alley, and two overly-chipper people pop out to offer the kids some food. (One of the other kids yells to Catgirl, telling her she should come eat. He calls her “Cat.” Because the writers of this show want to make sure that there is no ambiguity about who this person is.) One of the food truck people, out of nowhere, starts jabbing the kids with a pen, immediately knocking them out. Catgirl runs away, as does another one of the homeless kids. Food Truck Guy gives chase, but is stopped by an older homeless person who comes out nowhere – Food Truck Guy shoots him and continues his chase. He catches up to the kid in front of a restaurant, and for a...

Agents of SHIELD – S1E15 – Yes Men – Recap...

Thor: The Dark World once again crosses over with the TV show Agents of SHIELD this week. Like, The Well, Yes Men also deals with the aftermath of Thor: The Dark World. While Lorelei was not in Thor 2, it’s revealed in this episode that she was freed from her Asgardian prison during Malekith’s assault on Asgard. Unlike The Well, sadly, there’s no Dr. Janoch Pohaa. But  we do get Lady Sif in this episode! Can we please have a Zachary Levi as Fandral appearance next? It’s a battle of the sexes this episode as Lorelei as every male character in this episode with the exception of Coulson falls under Lorelei’s spell. Coulson not being under Lorelei’s command leads to my favorite scene in the episode. A spellbound Fitz locks Skye and Simmons in Skye’s recovery room. Coulson plays along with Fitz’s love of Lorelei (lorelove?) just long enough to deck Fitz unconscious. Ward and May’s sexual relationship ends soon after Lorelei reveals to May that Ward has deep feelings for someone on the team…and it isn’t May. Once Ward is free of Lorelei’s spell, May dumps him. The writing was on the wall for this in the “Previously on Agents of SHIELD” opening sequence.  Why include the clip of May telling Coulson that she had no problem dumping Ward unless it was going to happen in this episode? All in all, it’s an up and down day for Ward. On the one hand, he was dumped by May. On the other hand, he had wild sex with a god. Questions: Can humans impregnate Norse gods? Do Norse gods even bother with protection? Norse herpes has be at least 1,000 times worse than regular herpes, right? I liked that Lorelei picked her man-slaves in...

Agents of SHIELD – S1E14 – Tahiti – Recap...

It’s been almost a month since we had a new episode, but Agents of SHIELD is finally back! The last episode ended with the team in disarray. Skye’s been shot and is comatose in critical condition. And after finding out the truth about his resurrection, Coulson doesn’t know who he can trust. At the start of Tahiti, Coulson’s crew is airborne, desperately trying to find somewhere they can bring Skye. Coulson instructs the team to bring him to the SHIELD facility that treated him after the battle of New York. One problem: that SHIELD facility doesn’t exist and the main doctor who operated on Coulson seems to have disappeared. Coulson tries getting Fury on the line, which sadly does not lead to Samuel L. Jackson making a cameo. Fitz, being awesome, figures out what the secret facility actually is, and in an audience-disbelief defying maneuver, manages to figure out that the 3D file he’s looking at isn’t actually encrypted, but rather an inside-out topographical map. In Fitz’s defense, this scene looked awesome, especially when the 3D map dissolved into the real mountain on screen. A hamper in Coulson’s plan to save Skye occurs when the bus is boarded by Ward’s old SO, Agent John Garrett (Bill Paxton!!), and Garrett’s new Ward, whose name I forget, so I’m calling him Ward 2.0. Ward 2.0 has a thing for Simmons. Can’t blame him. Garrett and Ward 2.0 want Ian Quinn. Quinn was responsible for some of Garrett’s team dying and Garrett wants him for questioning. I was super-convinced during this episode that Garrett and Ward 2.0 were going to be double agents working to free Quinn. I kept waiting for them to turn on Coulson’s team. And it never happened. Sorry for not trusting you more,...

Agents of SHIELD S1E13 – T.R.A.C.K.S. – Recap...

Agents of SHIELD Episode 13, T.R.A.C.K.S., has Coulson’s entire team going undercover on a train travelling through the Italian countryside in order to intercept a package on its way to Ian Quinn. This episode  uses a fun storytelling device. The episode goes along linearly until a certain point, then it divides into four non-linear stories before becoming linear at the end. The four stories are set around the four teams of SHIELD agents on the train: 1. Coulson & Simmons, 2. May, 3.  Fitz & Skye, and 4. Ward. Each story starts at the same place, just as the train is passing through a scenic mountain range, which coincides with the moment when Coulson’s plan goes to crap. Stan Lee makes a great cameo. He’s flanked by two hot women and calls Coulson out for being a terrible “father” after hearing his “daughter” Simmons go on a long and detailed rant as part of her getting into her undercover character. Like many of Stan’s scenes in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, this scene provides the episode with a bit of lighthearted fun. Coulson’s team gets made, forcing Coulson and Ward to exit the train promptly while it’s still in motion. An enemy agent hurls a grenade that lets out a blue gas that seems to do nothing to Coulson and Ward, but the train immediately disappears at the same time. As we find out in May’s scene, the grenade paralyzed Coulson and Ward, and they weren’t even aware that any time had passed when they came to. This time-lapse grenade is what necessitated the non-linear story-telling in the episode, as it kept the nature of the blue smoke a mystery from not only the characters, but  the viewers too. The McGuffin that Coulson and company...

Arrow S2E7: “State v. Queen”...

The episode begins with a flashback, where we see how the Earthquake in the Glades takes apart the Iron Heights Penitentiary. I’d like to see a map of the Arrowverse. Because we know that Iron Heights is in Keystone City. We know the Glades is in Starling City. I really wonder how this earthquake worked. Because not all of Starling City is decimated but the quake made its way to Keystone City. How far apart are these cities? In any case we get to see how the Dollmaker and now Count Vertigo make their escape from the Penitentiary.  Through an Arrow shaped hole. Flash further back to the island. Oliver as been taken to Slade and Shado’s camp by Ivo and his men. Ollie yells to warn them. This buys them time to escape Ivo without him knowing they were there. Though Slade is looking rough. Oliver then takes Ivo to the World War II Japanese bodies. Ivo is looking for the “Hosen” arrowhead that should be with the bodies but cannot find it. He is about to have his men kill Ollie when Slade and Shado rescue him. Once in a safe place Shado reveals the Hosen. Oliver leads Ivo and his men to the WWII Japanese bodies. Ivo searches everywhere but cannot find “The Hosen,” a special arrowhead that was supposed to be with the bodies. Ivo’s men are about to shoot Oliver when Shado and Slade get the drop on all of them. Another scene on the island. Slade and Shado rescue Oliver. He grabs Sara as they all flee Ivo’s men. Shado uses one of Ivo’s detonators to cover their escape. One final island flashback. Shado pulls out the Hosen. She doesn’t know why Ivo wants it. There is a Buddhist...