Tag Archives: Agents of SHIELD season 2

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E15 – One Door Closes – Recap

Tonight’s episode is told in two time periods. We have the ongoing conflict between Coulson’s SHIELD and “Real” SHIELD in the present, and in the past, we see where Bobbie, Mac and Gonzalez were during the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

We open in the past. Mac is bloodied, on his knees with his hands on his head. Other agents are too. We’re in the middle of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Bobbie breaks in and is a one woman wrecking crew. She takes almost everyone out. Lucy Lawless gets the last guy. Remember when Lucy Lawless was on one episode of SHIELD this season and then died? Well, she’s back! Probably just for this episode, but still, she’s back! This scene is shot in a weird blue light, as if to yell, “Hey! This is the past!”

The lighting gets normal and we jump to the present. Bobbie returns to Coulson’s base. She’s up to something. She installs some hardware int he server room. While she’s doing that, Coulson is letting Mac work on Lola, supervised of course. Coulson confronts Mac. He asks Mac who he works for. Mac, not lying, says SHIELD. But Coulson thinks he’s being difficult.

Skye and Simmons are getting in the FaceTime session planned last episode. Simmons explains how the gloves work, but doesn’t mention any side effects, which is weird, because Coulson said last episode that the glove would have side effects and that Simmons would explain them to Skye.

Bobbie laser drills into where Coulson is hiding Fury’s toolbox. She steals the toolbox. May catches her in the act. They fight, and I have to admit, as soon as May walked in, I was looking forward to this fight, as both characters have been in some of the most athletic fights on the show. This fight was a bit of a letdown as Bobbie quickly flees. When May catches up to her, she sets off an EMP, which gives her and Mac the opportunity to escape.

In the past, Bobbie and Mac are on an aircraft carrier. The pace is in shambles. They find Gonzalez. His leg is badly messed up.

injured gonzalez one door closes shield

In the present, Bobbie reports in to Gonzalez. Gonzalez wants Skye. Why?

At her cabin, Skye tries on her power dampening gloves. The gloves are making her woozy. She calls Simmons, but gets her voice mail. Skye notices a blue wire under her desk and follows it to the wall. It’s a hollow panel, which she pries off. Under the wooden panel is reinforced metal that looks like the wall of her cell on The Bus. There’s a giant fist print in the wall. Did The Hulk stay here?

hulk hand one door closes shield

 

Skye is startled by something outside. She’s freaked out. If I was alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, I’d be freaked out too.  Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door. Skye and I divert over how to handle this. She answer the door. I would have ran and hid under my bed. Gordon, the blind teleporter, is at the door. Well, he’s not really blind. He can kind of see. I’m guessing he has a radar sense similar to Daredevil. He and Skye debate about the nature of her powers and why she should join him and his group. She’s not interested. He eventually takes the hint and leaves.

agents-of-shield-one-door-closes-gordon

Back at the base, Bobbie runs into Simmons, who doesn’t know what’s going on. Simmons thinks she can fix the power outage. She just needs to find the right tool in her bag. She hands Bobbie a bunch of stuff, one of which stuns Bobbie. She basically takes Bobbie out in the cutest way possible, and then draws her gun on Bobbie. It reminded me of Hooks from Police Academy. Well played, Simmons! Her espionage game has grown so much since she awkwardly infiltrated Hydra at the start of the season. Coulson retrieves the toolbox from Bobbie. May searches her locker and finds a gas mask. Ruh-roh.

hooks police academy

In the past, Bobbie and Mac need to move Gonzalez. Mac distracts Gonzalez with a story about his childhood coin collection so that another agent can pop Gonzalez’s leg into place. This aircraft carrier has too many secrets on it to fall into Hydra hands. Fury ordered Bobbie to sink it. Bobbie tells everyone to escape. Gonzalez argues that somehow them joining her will mean she’s be able to get out faster. Not sure how a severely injured old man isn’t going to slow things down, but I only have Level 7 clearance.

Fitz finds Bobbie’s device in the server room. Mac finds Fitz. Mac tells Fitz he isn’t going to hurt him. Fitz, rightly so, doesn’t trust Mac. gas starts filling the entire base. Mac pleads with Fitz to move away from the wall. Mac jumps on Fitz, saving him as the wall explodes. Gonzalez, Weaver and that shaved head guy who only plays jerks in movies burst in in gas masks.

In the past, Lucy Lawless goes all Xena on a bunch of Hydra agents.

In the present, everyone on Coulson’s team, save May, is captured. Gonzalez sends the shaved head jerk and a bunch of agents to “the house that Banner built” to retrieve Skye. Bobbie insists on going. It’s clear that she doesn’t trust these guys to not kill Skye.

Speaking of Skye, she decides to take the gloves off. She washes her hands and unitentionally makes the water spiral out of the faucet. It’s a cool effect.

At the base, FitzSimmons silently reconcile. This is broken up by Agent Weaver. You might remember her as the former head of the Academy, aka SHIELD Hogwarts, aka SHIELDwarts. She lets them know what went down at SHIELDwarts during Winter Soldier. They don’t show anything, but I’m guessing it’s similar to the Death Eaters’ invasion of Hogwarts in Harry Potter 6.

Gonzalez is meeting with Coulson in Coulson’s office, now Gonzalez’s office. Coulson gets the best line of the episode when telling Gonzalez he has good taste in offices and “you haven’t even dived into the record collection.” Gonzalez doesn’t plan on staying. He has the toolbox. He wants Coulson to show him how to use it so that he can hunt down superhumans. Coulson, unsurprisingly, refuses.

May gets to a comm and warns Skye that SHIELD is coming for her. She tells Skye how to escape the cabin’s security features. Bobbie and company show up at this time. Bobbie orders icers only, but shaved head jerkface definitely cocks a gun right after she says that. I’m pretty sure you don’t cock a night-night gun.

In the past, Mac wants to save the ship. They’re successfully fighting back, even if Hydra has them severely outnumbered. Gonzalez says they need to follow orders and blow the ship. Bobbie chooses to save the ship. Gonzalez says, “I hope we don’t live to regret this.” Xena says, “Let’s just hope we live.” Sorry, Xena…

Hartley-Bobbi-and-Mack-fighting hydra one door closes shiled

In the present, Gonzalez really lays into Coulson, practically accusing Phil of being Fury’s Frankenstein Monster. Gonzalez thinks Fury had too many secrets. Phil responds with “Fury’s secrets didn’t bring down SHIELD, Hydra did.” May ends the debate by icing Gonzalez and his guards. May helps Phils escape the base and immediately surrenders. She’s staying behind to make sure nothing happens to the team.

Skye and a “Real” SHIELD agent fight. He fires on her. Definitely not an icer! Bobbie and the shaved head jerk find Skye. Shaved head jerk then shoots at Skye, despite Bobbie saying not to. In an act of self defense, Skye unleashes her vibration powers on the bullet…and on the surrounding area. She destroys the area. Trees are powdered. I have no idea what her power is doing to Bobbie and shaved head guy’s insides. I think they might be dead. Skye looks like she’s worried they’re dead too. She whispers, “Gordon, help.” Amazingly, Gordon immediately appears. How did he hear that? He ports her out. Bobbie gets up. She’s okay, but looks shocked by the devastation Skye caused.

skye on the attacks one door closes shield

In the final scene, Coulson is at a tiki bar on the beach. There are palm trees in the background. Hunter joins him. They’re officially a team. Phil and Hunter vs. Real SHIELD. I can’t wait.

 

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E14 – Love in the Time of Hydra – Recap

We open on a diner. Ward and Agent 33 are on a date? This is the second diner scene in as many weeks. They’re really getting good use out of that set. Ward and Agent 33 go all Pumpkin and Honey Bunny on the patrons when they jump on the tables and rob the diner Pulp Fiction style. Samuel L Jackson is not in this diner. What a missed opportunity! Oh wait, they’re not robbing the place, they’re kidnapping a plastic surgeon?

pulp fiction robbery

Somebody tell Agent 33, “Bitch, be cool.”

FitzSimmons is checking out Skye’s broken arms. Skye refers to herself being on the DL. Fitz doesn’t know that DL means disabled list and not down low. He’s adorable.

Coulson and May are meeting. These Coulson and May meetings are great for anyone who missed an episode, as they constantly seem to be debating what’s going on with the team. May has changed her mind about Skye being on the team. It seems like Simmons and May want her off and Fitz and Coulson want her on. Luckily for Skye, Coulson is in charge.

Back to Ward and Agent 33. Oh, that wasn’t a plastic surgeon that they kidnapped. It was an engineer…who is kind of like a plastic surgeon since he fixed Agent 33’s digital mask.s mask. She can now look normal again…though it seems like May is still her normal face. She can’t take the mask off. Oh crap, is Agent 33 the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of Madame Masque? For those of you not familar with her, Madame Masque is an Iron Man villain named Courtney Whitmore. She hides behind a golden mask because she was once beautiful but had been horribly disfigured…or was it all in her head? Some writers have made it recently that Courtney was not actually disfigured, but suffered a psychological break and only thinks she is disfigured.

Madame_Masque_Marvel_XP

Madame Masque

We’re introduced to Edward James Olmos, who plays Gonzalez, the head of the “Real” SHIELD. Real SHIELD reminds me of the Original Ghostbusters and Real Ghostbusters cartoons that went up against each other in the 1980s.

realghostbusteroriginalGhostbusters

Lance is unimpressed with Real SHIELD. He’s clearly grew up an Original Ghostbusters fan. Lance gets the best line of the episode when describing Coulson. He says that Coulson “tends to hog the mic during karaoke nights.” Lance is shocked that Bobbie is a part of Real SHIELD. I wonder if she really is. Maybe she’s a triple agent. Hunter also gets the second best line of the episode when he turns to Bobbie and says, “Maybe we could have discussed this alone without all of Hufflepuff looking on.” I can’t think of a bigger Harry Potter related insult than being called a Hufflepuff. They’re like the short bus of the Harry Potter universe.

Gonzalez explains the formation of Real SHIELD and why it’s necessary. They didn’t trust Fury and they don’t trust Coulson post-alien injection.  They think Coulson is being driven insane by the alien injection. It’s funny; if this conversation was happening a few episodes back, they’d be right.

gonzalez

Coulson and Skye go on a road trip.Well…air trip. They’re talking in the rear hold of what I believe is The Bus. They share a cute moment eating some Twizzlers together. But wait a minute…who is flying this plane?!

twizzler time

Agent 33 is trying on new faces. Ward killed the doctor. Note: Ward is still a very bad man. Agent 33 puts on Skye’s face…with May’s hair, and starts making out with Ward. This is some weird shit. Why did she keep May’s hair? She can control her hair along with her face. Ward realizes it’s weird. I think it’s weird the Skye lookalike still has May’s voice…and hair.

Gonzalez is asking Bobbie about Hunter. He’s worried Hunter might turn her. Bobbie thinks she can get through to Hunter.

Ward gives Agent 33 his origin story. He finishes by saying he got over his issues by having a heart to heart with his family. He doesn’t mention that heart to heart means killing them all. It’s amazing how Ward has transformed into a total psycho. He’s not Kyle McLaughlin level crazy, but he’s up there. He wants 33 to have a similar “heart to heart” with Bakshi that Ward had with his family. For those who haven’t been paying attention, it was Bakshi who prepped Agent 33 for Whitehall.

To break into Bakshi’s prison, Agent 33 disguises herself as Talbot’s wife. Luckily no one there seems to know what Mrs. Talbot’s voice sounds like, because she still sounds like May. I could have sworn the engineer said she could change the sound of her voice now. Maybe I heard that line wrong.

Coulson has taken Skye to a cabin in the woods. It’s isolated. He brought her here so that she could heal and hone her powers. Simmons designed gloves for Skye to wear. They will help her control her powers, but there are side effects…Coulson isn’t saying what they are.  Skye’s supposed to FaceTime with Simmons later to get the deets.

Agent 33/Mrs. Talbot switches into an Air Force Major disguise. Ward somehow just walks right in the facility. Seriously, how did he get in. Agent 33 has to get waved him by Talbot while pretending to be Talbot’s wife while Ward kind of just shows up in the middles of the facility. The real Mrs. Talbot calls saying she’s stuck in traffic. Ruh-roh. Talbot puts two and two together very quickly. There’s a reason Talbot’s a general. Talbot rounds up every female on the base. He lectures them, saying how he cannot stand a spy in his house.

Cut to Mac at Coulson’s base. Well played, SHIELD editor. Well played.

Talbot starts grilling people, asking them trick questions. Go with the trick answer, Agent 33! Meanwhile Ward is shooting up the place. Oh hey, Agent 33 is a dude now. Haha, take that Talbot! She’s not even in the room! They open up Bakshi’s cell. He thinks she’s here to break him out…until he sees Ward and starts putting things together. Bakshi tries activating her brainwashing, but 33 punches him in the face before it can take effect.

Talbot pulls a gun on his own wife, his real wife. Geez, Talbot! She’s just bringing you tacos for Taco Tuesday. She even brought your favorite sauce!

Bobbie and Hunter have a heart to heart. It sounds like Bobbie is 100% New SHIELD…just what a triple agent would say. Hunter decides he’s leaving. Bobbie won’t stop him (I’m guessing because she’s a triple agent). But all the armed guards will stop him. Or they’ll try. Oh wait, no need. They’re on a aircraft carrier out to sea. Bobbie pursues. Hunter is nowhere to be seen. Oh wait, there’s like 50 aircraft that Hunter could escape on.  Still, how could he possible get off undetected?

hunter tries to escape

Fitz confronts Coulson about Skye. Coulson won’t tell him where she is. Fitz then confronts Simmons about how she’s treating Skye. Fitz calls her out on how she’s changed, even though Fitz and Skye have changed, neither has changed more than Simmons. That gets to Simmons.

Talbot FaceTimes Coulson and May. At least I think it’s Talbot. It has to be. Why would Agent 33 tell Coulson that Agent 33 broke into a base with Ward? Okay, that’s the real Talbot.

Hunter managed to escape in a submersible pod. Way to go, “Real” SHIELD. Bobbie wants to go back in to Coulson’s base. “Real” SHIELD debates and approves.

Coulson and May have both come to the conclusion that they don’t believe Mac. They aim to confront him. They don’t seem to suspect Bobbie yet.

Agent 33 goes back to her real face. It’s majorly scarred. Oh wow, she is definitely Madame Masque! Ward and Agent 33 have Bakshi tied up. They’re going to brainwash him. Things are definitely getting interesting…

Finally, I have to say, I really like this week’s title, Love in the Time of Hydra. First, because it references Love in the Time of Cholera, and second because this episode did a great job on focusing on the various couples on the show. You have Agent 33 and Ward as the outlaw couple. FitzSimmons is trying (and constantly failing) to get back into the groove of where they were last season. Bobbie and Hunter are the Romeo and Juliet of the spy world…if Romeo and Juliet bickered constantly. This season of Agents of SHIELD has been spot on. I can’t wait to see how the show will tie into Avengers: Age of Ultron in one month!

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E13 – One of Us – Recap

We start at dinner time…..someone in Coney Island is eating steak. She’s got robot hands. Hey, it’s Drea De Matteo! Her name is Karla Faye Gideon. We find that out when Kyle shows up and tells her he got her name off a Gifted Index. She asks if they’re with SHIELD. He says he’ll try not to be offended. Classic Kyle zinger!

kyles krew

Kyle’s with Levi and Francis. Levi has control over tech. Francis has the power of looking extra creepy. Drea closes the door in their face. Smart move. She reopens the door. Less smart move. Francis gets her metal gloves off her. She’s got metal razors for fingernails. Kyle wants her to join him. He’s creating his own Masters of Evil it seems.

razor hands

On the bus, Skye and Coulson are sharing a meal. Coulson is adding her to the Gifted Index. Whoa, Blair Underwood’s name just popped up in the opening credits! Sweet! Is he who Coulson is bringing in from the outside? May’s apparent ex? Oooo…

blair underwood

Bobbie and Simmons are in the lab. Simmons is having a hard time explaining Skye’s DNA. Fitz comes in. Simmons intentionally goes quiet when Fitz walks in. Aww, I miss FitzSimmons. Simmons does too it seems. Simmons tells Bobbie that a betrayl of trust like that changes everything. Just in time for Bobbie to field a call from Mac.

Mac is at the safehouse where he has locked up Hunter. Hunter has the great line of the episode when he tells Mac to tell Bobbie he takes it all back…when he said he wished she hadn’t died out there. Harsh, Hunter! Then again, he is handcuffed to the bathroom sink. Bobbie tells Mac to bring Hunter in. She’ll arrange an extraction. How big is this conspiracy?

Hey, it’s Blair Underwood! May is waiting for him at his university job. So it looks like Blair is Andrew, May’s ex. Nice. He doesn’t seem excited about SHIELD needing his help. He’s dismayed that May is back in the field. Interesting. Going through his criteria for helping Skye, he clearly distrusts SHIELD.

WHOA! WHAT? He’s MAY’s EX-HUSBAND!!! I thought he was maybe an ex-boyfriend!

Kyle shows up at an Brinmore Psychiatric Facility and Drea slashes the guard’s throat. Kyle is flagrant, waving at the security camera. We see Francis’s power. He’s super strong (besides just being super creepy).

Coulson and Andrew seem to be on good terms. Coulson briefs Bobbie on the break-in at Brynmore. He also notes that Hunter didn’t show up today, in what seem like a way of judging Bobbie’s reaction.

Skye isn’t excited about meeting with a psychiatrist until she finds out he was married to May. She peppers him with questions. To get Skye to open up, Andrew reveals details about his marriage to May. Nothing big, just enough to get Skye to like him.

Kyle and company tore through the facility. Only two people were stored in the subbasement – John Bruno, a military assassin and a guy who immediately attacks them. This dude looks like Killer Croc. but less reptilian. He’s big, but just being big isn’t an auto-win against Bobbie, who takes him down with ease. Kyle left Coulson a note spray painted on the wall, FIGHT ON.

The second guy is David A. Angar…aka Angar the Screamer. Hahahaha, are you serious?!? Angar the Screamer! Who’s next? D-Man? Not sure why Kyle left Killer Croc but took Angar the Screamer. I’m trying to think of a Marvel villain lamer than Angar. Let me get back to you on that. For those of you who can’t tell why I’m laughing, here’s Angar the Screamer from Marvel Comics:

angar the screamer

While talking to Andrew about Skye, May gets the second best line of the night when she says, “I taught her how to fire an automatic. Of course she likes me.” Andrew and May get snippy about each other’s love life. They’re totally going to sleep together. As I think this, he tells her, “You looks good.” Keep it in your pants, Blair Underwood!

Fitz walks in on them joking around. He’s freaked out. He’s clearly not used to May smiling. Gossiping about May and Andrew reunites FitzSimmons. Yes! Their reunion is cut short when Skye gets a case of the shakes. She’s shaking the entire Bus. Whoa, this is just from Skye having a bad dream? May and Andrew take the good cop bad cop approach to get Skye to calm down. Amazingly, it works.

Bobbie and Coulson are hunting Kyle’s RV on traffic cams. Coulson notes that sometimes ignorance is bliss. Oh, like Bobbie potentially betraying you?

Kyle and company are reenacting Diner…if everyone in Diner were crazy. Razor Fingers is the most normal person in this crew.

Coulson confronts Bobbie about Hunter. He figured out that Hunter didn’t bolt because of Coulson’s job offer, but wrongly thinks it’s because something happened between Bobbie and Hunter personally, because they’re sleeping together. Bobbie blames Hunter bolting on his fear of commitment.

Bobbie gets a hit on the license plate. Coulson figures out what FIGHT ON meant. Kyle and co are heading to Coulson’s hometown in Wyoming.

Skye and Andrew are meeting again in Skye’s room/cell on the Bus. As they talk about the index, Skye gets agitated and the room shakes…except it’s not Skye. The Bus is taking off. Andrew is not happy. He confronts May, who basically says she had no choice.

Kyle and Drea release Angar from his muzzle. He’s about to scream, but Kyle tells him to make it count. Angar walks out onto the 50 yard line and screams. Everyone on the field either passes out or dies, I’m not really sure. Birds fall from the sky. Ruh-roh.

angar the dufus

Mac brings Hunter a pizza. He tells Hunter he wants to keep Hunter alive. He reminsices about how they first met. When Hunter calls his BS, Mac leaves Hunter with the pizza.

Skye wants to head to the field to help Coulson, but May and Andrew think it’s a bad idea. They don’t want her near her dad. It turns out Coulson never went to this high school, but his dad did coach football and taught history. Coulson’s dad died when Coulson was 9.

Kyle gets on the loudspeaker. He calls his group The Slicing Talons. Maybe work on that name, Kyle. Kyle is pissed that Coulson killed Daniel Whitehall. That’s what this is all about? I have to say, I really like Kyle McLaughin as a completely crazy bonkers person. Phil wants to wait for May, but when Kyle threatens to kill the highschoolers, Phil comes out of the shadows. Kyle’s people are on the field. Angar takes Coulson’s gun. Kyle gives him a speech about stopping Coulson before Coulson has a chance to hurt his daughter. That’s when May walks out of the shadows with a gun dug into Skye’s neck. Even Coulson is surprised.

Kyle advances on May, and May tells him to tell his people to stand down on his daughter dies. He’s convinced May won’t kill her, but that Coulson would. He give Angar the microphone and tells him to tell the whole town. Someone shoot Angar already.

As Angar is about to scream, the blind teleporter from last week ports in, grabs Kyle and ports out. Drea yells, “End this!” Coulson rushes Angar, punches him in the larynx and drops him. May fights the super strong Francis, but even with her fighting skills is losing out to his brute strength. Drea climbs down from the bleachers and is ambushed by Bobbie. She manages to escape into the locker room. Bobbie pursues. Carla (Drea) isn’t being taken alive. I have a bad feeling that Bobbie is going to die because Hunter says he wishes she was dead. But Bobbie wins. I’m very happy about that.

Skye sees Coulson whip that tech dude in the face, and freaks out a bit. She starts shaking, but gets it under control. Unfortunately, controlling it causes her to break out in bruises all over her arms and she passes out. Coulson and May run to her. She wakes on The Bus. Whoa, she shattered her own arms. She wasn’t stopping her powers, she was directing them inward. Now Skye’s a danger to her friends, and herself. Skye is worried, but May reassures here.

Simmons wants to categorize superhumans into different subcategories. Deathlok and David Angar she calls “Enhanced,” because their gifts were man-made. But Skye and Raina, this is something that was inside them. For now, Simmons is calling them “Other.” Could “Inhuman” be far behind?

Now that they’re back at the base, Andrew is leaving. He recommends that Skye leaves SHIELD. May thinks she’s safest with them. May offers Blair Underwood a recurring role on the show, but he turns it down. He does say he can recommend someone else though. Please let it be Doctor Seaver from Growing Pains!

dr seaver

Mac grabs Hunter and takes him to a secret facility. Mac tells Hunter who he’s working for…SHIELD, the real SHIELD, and steps away to reveal the real SHIELD’s new logo.

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Kyle has wrecked the room the blind teleporter left him in. The teleporter asks if he’s done. Kyle is pissed that he didn’t grab Daisy/Skye too. But the reason the teleporter grabbed him is that Kyle “is making too much noise.” He says that Kyle isn’t one of them, that Kyle is a science experiment. Kyle steps out of the room to meet with the teleporter’s boss (or bosses) as the episode fades to black.

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E11 – Aftershocks – Recap

aftershocks poster

And we’re back! Man, the hiatus since the last episode of Agents of SHIELD seemed longer than it actually was. Having Agent Carter around helped, but that show just didn’t have the same intensity that Agents of SHIELD has had since the middle of last season. In case you’ve forgotten what’s what and were we are, this episode starts with a previously, and I want it just be rocks floating around Skye. Seriously,nothing else matters. That said, I’m still sad about Trip’s death. RIP Trip. 🙁

We start in the past. There’s a boy who’s like Nightcrawler in X2. He’s in a room, just porting around the place uncontrollably. It’s 1982. The weird thing isn’t his porting. And it’s not even that he can’t port out of the room. It’s that he has no eyes. Skye’s mom walks in with an old dude. They let you know immediately that this is not Nightcrawler, for this is no mutant, “he passed through the mists,” *cough* Inhumans *cough* (besides, Nightcrawler has eyes…and is blue). Skye’s mom tries to talk some calm into Gordon, the eyeless wonder. Hmm, it’s interesting that they didn’t go with more established Inhumans like Gorgon, Blackbolt, Triton or Medusa. I wonder when we’ll see them?

Skye wakes up…with an iPhone armband strapped to her. I love running and I don’t sleep with my armband on. Coulson is there when wakes. Skye confirms Trip is dead. Man… 🙁
skye iphone armband
Skye and Coulson are in quarantine. Everyone else is going about their own business, trying to work through the grief of losing Trip. Simmons is documenting what’s in the tunnells with a team. Everyone on the team is wearing hazmat suits.
How much os this episode is going to be Coulson and Skye talking, Diner style? Skye is depressed. Coulson is angry. Cut to a meeting of what appears to be the heads of Hydra. One of them really, really looks andn sounds like Hilary Clinton. That can’t be not on purpose, right?
Something is in the tunnels, and it attacked one of Simmons’s men. Oh, that hand looks like Raina’s, all porcupine like. Simmons meets with her team in the catacombs. When she leaves, Raina attacks the team members, killing them. Raina is all claws and craziness. Simmons shoots her. She’s still able to run away, and gets to an elevator.
Bobbie meets with Skye. She tries to keep Skye’s spirits up. When Skye says she feels like a leper, Bobbie points out everything that happened to Skye and says Skye’s a rock star.
The Fitz and Mac show is still a thing. Anyone feel that The Rock was the first choice to play Mac? Mac and Fitz are going through similar issues. Mac was controlled by that gas and Fitz’s brain isn’t’ what it used to be. Both felt trapped in their own bodies.
Simmons gets in touch with Coulson and May. They’re hunting down Raina, not realizing she’s the porcupine monster.
Coulson calls a team meeting. Everyone starts arguing, stressing Skye out. The stress causes her to involuntarily shake the place. Amazingly, no one else notices. Seriously, I’ve been in arguments, but I think I’d notice the start of an earthquake happening at the same time.
Bakshi is in Coulson’s custody. Coulson facetimes with Talbot. They arrange a trade for Bakshi. Coulson and May are ambushed while transporting Bakshi. But abushed by whom? Hydra? Talbot with the double cross? In the ensuing firefight, May counts four hostiles left. She asks Coulson if he know what that means. He doens’t. It means May is going into BEAST MODE. While she’s taking out everyone, someone shoots her, and then Coulson. There is A LOT of blood. W. T. F. Still, Coulson yells “They’ll never take us alive,” which seems fishy. The masked shooter tells Bakshi to get in the SUV. Why do I think this is an elaborate Coulson ploy? Also, that masked guy…sounds like Talbot.
Bakshi’s masked savior is revealed. WHAT?!  It’s not Talbot! it’s Hunter. For a second, I think to myself that this isn’t a Coulson ploy and Hunter has gone over to Hydra. But I’m wrong. It is a Coulson plot. May makes fun of Coulson for saying they’ll never take us alive. Man, I love this show!
Hunter gets in Bakshi’s good graces by holding a gun to Bakshi’shead, and then allowing himself to get bought off by Bakshi.
As it turns out, Simmons did realize that porcupine lady was Raina. But they don’t realize Skye is a superhuman too. How is that possible? They analyzed Raina’s DNA without Raina being in custody, but not Skye’s?
Raina attacks Kyle MacLachlan. On a side note, it really bothers me that we don’t have a character name for Kyle MacLachlan other than Skye’s Dad or The Doctor. I’m going to keep referring to him as Kyle. Raina wants to know what the hell she has become. Me too. Is that even the same actress?! She wants to be normal again, “not some gnarled freak of nature covered in thorns.” Wow, she really is gnarled. How many hours does Ruth Negga need to spend in the makeup chair each shooting day for this? It is crazy that Skye just looks like Skye. Er, I mean Daisy. Sorry, Kyle. Totally meant Daisy. Back to Raina…whoa, Raina is seriously crazy. She blames Skye for what happened to her. Kyle and Raina are like in a competition for who can be crazier. It’s a dead heat. Wow, Raina unhooded looks like 0% Raina. She’s all bald and spikey. Seriously, this could be a different actress if it wasn’t for her voice. On another side note, when Kyle talks to himself, he sounds like a Batman 66 villain.
Hunter wants to find out Bobbie and Mac’s mutual secret. It turns out they’re in a support group for people who used to be in SHIELD, but were betrayed by Hydra. Wait, this wasn’t’ an excuse? It’s real? Huh, I thought Bobbie was being evasive at first.
Fitz meets with Skye. He’s the only one who realizes she survived the destruction only because she caused it. Why would you bring that up to the that person, Fitz?? Come on, Fitz! Skye makes the room shake. Things start exploding. Fitz runs. How did he not see that one coming?
skye explosion
Coulson delivers the news to Trip’s mom that Trip is dead. The audience gets to see a cool photo of the Howling Commandos hanging on the wall.
Bakshi and another guy in the head Hydra group set off an alert. The other Hydra heads are wearing watches that light up. They seem excited. What’s up? Bakshi decides to turn on Hunter. He has his men shoot the crap out of Hunter’s jeep. Unfortunately for those men, the jeep is bulletproof and has pop-out guns.  Not a standard feature, but totally worth the expense in this case.
Hilary Clinton is poisoned, and turns to ash, like so many others this season. Another Hydra dude meets the same fate. Pretty much everyone but Bakshi dies. Baskshi betrayed the group. Hunter and Bobbie take out Bakshi’s co-conspirator and take Bakshi in. This was all Coulson’s plan, to get the Hydra heads to betray each other so that his team wouldn’t have to go after them.
Skye is bleeding. May and Simmons want to know what’s up.Fitz takes the blame and seems to have doctored Skye’s DNA. He replaced it with a sample of her old DNA. Um…why? Seriously why. Fitz is afraid that Simmons will judge Skye too harshly. Fitz is the only one who knows the truth about Skye. That’s nice of you, Fitz, but how is Skye going to get the help she needs?
A SHIELD team finds Raina. They tell her she’s not there to hurt her, just take her in. Raina wants them to kill her. The blind teleporter ports in He’s all grown up and in control of his powers. He grabs Raina and ports out.
shield raina and elliot
In the final scene, a model of Lola activates something in Coulson’s desk. The team is meeting downstairs, drinking beer, reminiscing about Trip. Off to the side, Mac tells Bobbie he has visual confirmation, Fury’s blueprints are in Coulson’s office. Oh right, Mac made that little model. Oh wait, they’re not in any support group. What’s going on with these two, and who is Bobbie going to make contact with? Man, don’t be evil, Bobbie. You too, Mac…
No sign of Ward this episode. I wonder when we’ll see him again. Looking at the Art of Level 7 poster by Marcos Martin for next week’s episode, it looks like Sif will be returning to Agents of SHIELD. I can’t wait.
marcos martin shield sif
I am so happy Agents of SHIELD is back!
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Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 10 – What They Become – Recap

The episode starts with the Quinjets surrounding the Bus departing with Ward, Skye and Raina. I guess the Hydra pilots didn’t get Agent 33’s message to shoot the Bus down? Or maybe we’re starting off a minute or two before the end of the last episode? May orders Trip to find some cloud cover. I think she knows what’s coming. One of the Koenigs wants to cloak, maybe they both do, they both dress alike and I can’t tell who is who. May shoots down that idea. Sorry, poor choice of words.  The Quinjets are in pursuit as May takes the the Bus into a deep dive. She dumps some hot cargo and cloaks just as Hydra fires on them. Hydra thinks they’ve blown the plane out of the sky. Speaking of Skye, May tells Trip to take them to San Juan. Coulson needs to know about Ward taking Skye.

Outside of San Juan, Coulson and May’s teams reunite. Coulson’s #1 priority is preventing Hydra from accessing those crazy tunnels from last week. Rescusing Mac is sadly lower on the list. Bobbie isn’t happy about it, but she understand. One of the Koenigs is talking to Trip. They’re going over their new plan for the secret city. It involves collapsing itself on itself with some heavy explosives. As a bit of fan service, the Koenig tells Trip, “Dum Dum Dugan would be proud.” In the comics, Dum Dum Dugan is Nick Fury’s right hand man and one of the main Agents of SHIELD.

FitzSimmons are trying to figure out the city mysterious powers, and whether or not Mac is alive. It’s not looking good for Mac’s prospects, as he was infected by the city and kicked 100 feet down a hole. Fitz thinks the city was reacting in self-defense to Mac’s presence. They compare the city’s effect on Mac to zombie ants. For those of us not familiar with zombie ants, FitzSimmons explains it. Basically a fungus takes over the ant and the ant acts in the fungus’s interest instead of the ant’s. 

Hunter walks in on Bobbie going through Mac’s things in his garage. Hunter doesn’t see her finger a thumb drive. Bobbie thinks Mac is dead, mainly because of the whole falling down the hundred foot hole thing. Good point, Bobbie. Hunter and Bobbie both really like Mac. Sorry Skye/Ward and FitzSimmons, but these two are becoming the cutest couple on the show. Bobbie gets a text from Diego, who you might remember from such roles as their contact in San Juan. She suggest Hunter be her back up when she rendezvouses with Diego. Hunter agrees to go, but calls her out on the thumb drive she just pocketed. He feels that when she hides things from him, he can’t trust her completely, but chooses to trust her anyway.

May and Coulson are going over the standoff with Ward on the Bus at the end of the last episode. May wishes she shot Ward in the head. Coulson counters that if she did, she, Skye and everyone else would have been shot out of the sky. Six agents are alive because of her actions; Coulson thinks she did the right thing.

Ward is leading a handcuffed Skye through a Hydra house. Ward reunites Skye and her dad, TV’s Kyle McLaughlin. Skye is shocked into silence. That would be my reaction too if I found out that guy who “Alrighty” proposed to Charlotte was my dad too. Kyle is the most awkward super powered psychotic father ever. He almost breaks down in tears. His name is Cal…or is it Kal?!? Wait, is he Superman?!? He thanks Skye for meeting with him. She points out that she was kidnapped at gunpoint.

Father Cal says to her,  “I don’t know what you know about me.” Skye’s response is, “You’re a monster, a murderer. You leave a trail of death wherever you go.” And here I thought my family get-togethers could be awkward at times. Cal, quick tip, yelling every third word doesn’t break the tension…or make you look sane. Cal starts to tell Skye about himself and her mother, but just trails off. He says he wishes he could have taught her about the stars. I don’t think he means elementary school science. I think he’s talking about the Kree.

Hunter and Bobbie are about to meet up with Diego, when Bobbie pulls Hunter back and says, “This is bad. Diego is early and he’s wearing a suit.” When Hunter doesn’t understand what’s bad about that, Bobbie explains that Diego is never early and he never wears a suit. Two Hydra goons show up, shake Diego’s hand and all three of them walk directly in Bobbie and Hunter’s direction. Hunter and Bobbie can’t figure out if Diego is selling them out or selling Hydra out. To avoid the Hydra goons spotting them, Bobbie starts making out with Hunter. How does this work? WheneverI see people making out in public, they’re the least conspicuous people around. But the Hydra guys walk right on by and Diego slips Bobbie a note while she’s slipping Hunter her tongue. I was really hoping one of the Hyrdra guys would have paused, made a lewd gesture and told them to get a room.

CHLOE BENNET

Skye wants out. She opens the door, but there are two Hydra agents guarding it. Cal tells them not to be alarmed and shuts the door. He tells Skye that the Hydra agents don’t matter, and that after today, none of them will matter. Skye says they do matter, that he works for Whitehall and Hydra. They’re bad guys, she says, making him a bad guy. Cal goes a little bit crazy, saying he could never work  for Whitehall. Cal, you really need to work on the going crazy while explaining things. It doesn’t help get your point across. He tells Skye that he used Whitehall to find her. Cal explains to Skye that her mother came from a line of gifted people (mutants? Haha, maybe is this was 1994, not 2014. That word verboten in Marvel Studios!). He brought Skye here so that she could receive her gift. He describes a transformation that she’s going to go through. Wait, is he talking about Terrigan Mists?!? He must be. In the comics, the Terrigan Mists are what give the Inhumans their powers. The mists affect each Inhuman differently, kind of like the way the x-gene expresses itself differently in each mutant. There I go using the m-word again. Sorry.

Skye interrupts Cal, wanting to know what happened to her mom. Cal tells her that people claiming to be SHIELD took her. Cal tracked them,but by the time he caught up with them, it was too late. Whitehall had cut her mom to pieces. Whitehall took her organs and blood and dumped her in a ditch. After Cal finishes, he apologizes and starts humming. This scene could not be any weirder. Skye recognizes the tune he’s humming. It’s the song Skye’s mom sang to her as a baby. A Hydra guy shows up saying that Whitehall wants Cal. Cal waves him off, so that he could finish humming. After the Hydra guy leaves, Cal says he’s off to kill Whitehall, and calls it the best day ever. Skye looks shocked. That’s fair. Shouldn’t her birth and the day he met her mom make the top 2. Killing Whitehall might be the third best day, if that.

Coulson’s team is on the bus, en route to San Juan. Trip asks Sam where Billy is. Sam says that the stress over fried Sam’s circuits and he’s recharging. Oh, an LMD joke! Trip doesn’t laugh. I do. Coulson tells Sam that he wants him and his brother Billy to head back to base. If things go south, he needs them to initiate the Theta Protocols. Going by the look on Sam’s face, this is some heavy stuff.

Bobbie calls with Hydra’s location. They’re practically on top of the city. This changes Coulson’s plans. He and May need to head out and back up Bobbie and Hunter now before Hydra can plasma drill their way to the secret city. Raina is overseeing the plasma drill. A Hydra guy gets her and brings her to Ward, Cal and Whitehall. Whitehall wants to know why Skye is here. He has a theory. Agent 33 pulls out the obelisk. Whitehall wants Skye to pick up the obelisk. She responds, “You first.” Guns are drawn. Cal nods at her. He has a scalpel in his hand with Whitehall’s name on it. Not really with Whitehall’s name on it. But I’m getting the feeling it will soon really have Whitehall’s blood on it. Skye picks up what Cal is putting down. She grabs the obelisk. It glows. She immediately dies.

Just kidding! It doesn’t do anything to her, it just lights up. She plunges it into the neck of a Hydra goon. He dies. For real, this time. Cal stabs another one. Ward draws his gun on other Hydra agents, but good guys are still outnumbered. Maybe good guys isn’t the best term with this crew. More like the team we’re rooting for is still outnumbered. Or the not-as-bad-as-Whitehall-and-Hydra guys are still outnumbered. The other Hydra goons and Agent 33 have their guns drawn on them. Whitehall approaches Skye and says, “I hope you’re as special as your mother.”  So Whitehall knew who Cal was all this time? He was playing the guy playing him? Ooooo.

Whitehall is trying to figure out how Ward figures into all this here. Raina calls Ward out, saying that Ward loves Skye. A Hydra guy clocks Cal, knocking him out. They lead Skye and Ward away.

The Bus, still cloaked, lands on the roof of the building Skye is in. Bobbie and Hunter increase their cuteness quotient when it’s revealed that say to each other “Don’t die out there” before every mission, because as Hunter puts it, “Who doesn’t like to hear it?”

In the cave, Trip and FitzSimmons are all dressed in hazmat suits and are heading down into the hole with a bunch of detonators. Trip is ready to take out Mac if he’s still alive. Mac’s body isn’t at the bottom. That most likely means Mac is still alive, and probably still very zombie ant.

Ward wants to know why Agent 33 looks like May. I want to know if Ming-Na Wen get paid double for these Agent 33 episodes? Cal wakes up. He jumps at Whitehall, but Whitehall has placed some device on him that knocks Cal immobile. Whitehall wants to know what Skye’s gift is. Whitehall tells Call that he killed his wife, and before he kills him, will show Cal what he does to his daughter, you know, just to drive home that he’s the really bad guy here.

TripFitzSimmons (that’s their new name says I) are heading through corridors in the secret city. They get two detonators in place, and have two left. Fitz breaks off from the other two, because they don’t have time to not split up. This kind of thing never ends well. And Fitz doesn’t have the best track record with coming out of these kinds of things unscathed.

Ward gets into the head of the Hydra agent who is guarding him. He distracts him long enough for Cal to break the agent’s neck. Cal heads off to kill Whitehall, leaving Ward and Skye still tied up. When Cal finds Whitehall, Whitehall smiles and raises a gun. Coulson appears and shoots Whitehall in the back. Cal is pissed. Coulson tells him, “You’re welcome?” Coulson you better run, Cal is really pissed!

Whitehall is dead. Cal is yelling at Coulson, that Coulson had no right to kill Whitehall, Whitehall was his! Coulson says Cal is next if he moves. He’s not letting Cal take Skye into those tunnels to trigger whatever armageddon Cal thinks will happen. Cal steps towards Coulson, but before Coulson can shoot him, Agent 33 is shooting both of them. They run off, leaving 33 with Whitehall’s body.

Cal assaults Coulson. Coulson tries calming Cal down saying, “We both want to help your daughter.” Cal says she doesn’t need Coulson and proceeds to pummel him.

Ward frees himself and frees Skye. He’s rewarded by Skye shooting him a bunch of times in the gut.

The Cal vs. Coulson fight is decidedly one sided. Coulson is being beaten to death. Skye stops Cal from killing him by drawing a gun on Cal. She’s not going down the tunnel. And Ca’s leaving, or she’s going to kill him. He agrees to leave, but tells her that after she changes, no one else will understand but him. He calls her Daisy! Daisy! Oh man! Skye is really Daisy Johnson aka Quake! This is huge. Skye tells Coulson she’s going to stop the drill and find the obelisk.

Secret_Warriors_Vol_1_22_Textless

A little on Daisy Johnson. In the comics, she’s a protege of Nick Fury. Her father in the comics, is the villainous Mr. Hyde. Hmm, this is explaining Kyle MacLachlan’s portrayal of his character much better. You might have guessed her powers by her code name Quake. She has the power to cause seismic shifts and earthquakes.

Agent 33 finds Ward. With Whitehall dead, her whole world is shattered. She’s afraid. She doesn’t know what to do. Ward convinces her to help him up, and that he’ll get her out of there. Coming next January, Ward and not Not-May on the road together, living the outlaw life!

Bobbie, Hunter and May kill more Hydra goons.

hunter and bobbie shield

Skye finds the tunnel entrance. The obelisk is nowhere to to be found. That’s because Raina took it. She’s already down the tunnel. Raina comes across zombie ant Mac. He’s standing still. She tells him, “Take me there.” He leads her forward. Mac’s eyes are completely glazed over.

Coulson and May get to the hole. Where’s Skye? Coulson wants to follow her down. May points out all the bombs their team planted. Coulson isn’t leaving Skye. He tells May that her job is get everyone out if he and Skye aren’t back in time before the bombs go off.

TripFitzSimmons emerge from their hole. May tells them at that Skye and Coulson are down below. Tripp heads back down the hole sans hazmat suit. Trip, what the hell man? Don’t zombie ant yourself!

Mac takes Raina a room with a stone pillar bathed in light. Trip is running Indiana Jones style, not transformed into a zombie ant man like Mac. Trip defuses a bomb. Coulson and Skye are running around too, though not together. May tells Bobbie and Hunter to clear this place. Skye finds Mac. She tries to get him to respond. He’s catatonic. Aw man, I like Mac. Skye finds the room with the pillar. Raina is singing. I think she’s singing Cal’s song. How does she know that? She’s about to put the obelisk down on the pillar. Trip defuses the third bomb. Skye finds Raina. They have a weird Mexican standoff, Skye with a gun, Raina with the obelisk. The obelisk glows and floats from Raina’s hand on its own to the pillar. Trip defuses the last bomb just in time. The walls close in and Raina and Skye are trapped with the obelisk. Mac attacks Coulson, who gets the better of him. Hypno-Mac isn’t the fastest. Trip makes it into the room just as the walls close. Coulson arrives just too late. The obelisk opens. There are crystals inside it, wait is this Superman? Are we in the Fortress of Solitude? I mean, dude named Kal, alien crystals…

skye raina and the crystals

Mac has found Coulson. Coulson is not having a good day; he’s about to get beat again. In the room, the crystals glow and Skye, Trip and Raina are all bathed in smoke…or mist, Terrigan Mist! As soon as that happens, Mac drops to his knees. Skye and Raina are both covered in this weird black gel. Tip roundhouse kicks the crystals. They shatter in a wave of more smoke. Skye and Raina look like the victims of Pompeii. Trip screams “No!” Then the black gel starts to cover Trip. Skye starts to crack, or rather the casing around her does. As does Raina’s . Raina looks like she might have porcupine quills on her face now and orange eyes. The covering explodes off Skye. Hello, Quake! She causes a minor cave in with this new earthquake power. Wait,not minor. The whole place is coming down, even the house above the hole. Trip’s casing cracks. No, wait, Trip cracks. He falls apart. Trip is dead!!!!!! No!!!!!!

skye daisy quake powers gif

Someplace else, in some house, a box lights up. A man pulls out another obelisk! He makes a call. “Are you seeing this? There is someone new. Tell the others I’m on it.” The camera pulls back to reveal the man’s face. He has no eyes…or eye sockets even. Ahhhhh!

Agents of SHIELD isn’t back until January. Hopefully that’s enough time to process Trip’s death. Man, I can’t believe Trip is dead. I’m bummed. 🙁

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Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 9 – Ye Who Enter Here – Recap

When the episode opens, Skye is in a white flower-print dress running barefoot running down a hall. It’s the dreaming? It kind of looks like she is. She’s yelling for Coulson. She can’t find anyone. She turns when she hears some chimes. This is one freaky dream. Coulson is now with her, staring at at a box. It’s a music box. Coulson and May are holding a baby. They’re dressed like suburbanites. May says “Sacrifices have to be made. Poison tree, poisoned fruit.” They leave the baby. The music box is the obelisk. When Skye touches it, it withers her.

She wakes up int he bus, freaked out. The team has arrived at its destination.

Mac is controlling a remote control Lucy (Coulson’s car, not Lucille Ball). He runs it into Fitz, who is impressed with the detail Mac put into this remote control car. He asks if it flies (it doesn’t). Mac is looking at Bobbie and Hunter being all chummy. Mac says a storm’s coming. Fitz takes him literally, and says he doesn’t think that’s in the forecast. Fitz was looking for Mac for a reason. He wants Mac to be a go between for him and Simmons. Mac suggests talking to her directly. Fitz blows Mac off.

Simmons is bandaging up Trip, who is shirtless. Um, his eyes are up here, Simmons. Skye walks in just as Trip calls Skye’s dad nutty. Classic Trip…

Coulson briefs his team. They basically walk through Hydra’s plans from the past few episodes and why they have to reach the temple in the secret city before Hydra does. There’s a LOT of exposition. I guess it’s handy if you’re someone who is just coming back to SHIELD after weeks of your friends telling you how good it is right now and you need to catch up.

Trip asks if the secret city related to the Bermuda Triangle. Coulson says they figured out the Bermuda Triangle back in the 80s. They’re headed to Puerto Rico.

In Vancouver, Raina is in a cafe with some white haired dude who is not Daniel Whitehall. New boyfriend? May is at the cafe too. Raina confronts her. Wait a second, it’s not May. It’s some severely facially bruised lady who is working for Whitehall. Raina bolts. Koenig spots her and tells her which way to go. Oh wow, there are lots of Koenig brothers around here, as another one of the Koenig clan grabs Raina. He envelops her in a cloaking umbrella. I want one of those.  Raina is getting recruited by SHIELD!

agents of shield ye who enter here agent 33 face

Coulson is filled in by Billy Koenig (Sam is the other Koenig). They need an extraction team to get Raina out of Vancouver. Agent 33 is stuck looking like a bruised May ever since May electrocuted her while she wearing that digital May mask. So…the mask is stuck to her? Part of her now?

May and Skye watch a news story on Christian’s Ward’s death. They both know Ward did it. Skye wants to take him down.

Coulson is splitting up the team. May is headed to Vancouver to grab Raina. Bobbie, Mac and FitzSimmons are coming with Coulson. Coulson doesn’t want Skye anywhere near her Loony Toons dad.

Bobbie asks Simmons how long she and Fitz were a thing. Simmons denies it, poorly. Simmons says she’s been freaked ever since Fitz said she loved her, saved her life and went into a coma. Simmons said she never thought of him as anything more than a friend. Bobbie gives her some love advice that could have easily come from Tyra on Friday Night Lights. She could have been talking about Riggins as much as she was talking about Hunter.

Speaking of Hunter, Bobbie tells him, “Don’t die out there.” Hunter’s response? “It’s Canada.” HA!

Mac asks Bobbie if she “brought Hunter in on that other thing.” She says she didn’t. Wait, what other thing??? Are Mac and Bobbie double agents? Triple agents?

One of the Koenigs is walking down a street in Vancouver. A bald dude in a suit follows him. Hunter takes the bald bad guy down and walks off with the Koenig brother, who turns out to be Sam (“Billy is the shorter one”). May takes out two more agents. Billy and Raina are in a hideaway. Skye meets up with them. He tells her, “I’m Billy. Sam is the shorter one” Agent 33, aka Not-May, ambushes them. Wow, Skye has become a really good fighter. Seriously, when did Skye become such a skilled fighter? She’s almost May-like. Agent 33 eventually get the better of her. Luckily for Skye, Hunter drops Agent 33 before she can shoot Skye in the face. Hunter’s reaction to her looking like May “And I thought the Koenigs were creepy.” Hunter has the best lines this episode!

In San Juan, Bobbie and Coulson pull up in a jeep. They walk through a market. Coulson tries on a fedora. Bobbie is wondering why Coulson is so unfazed by the prospect of blowing up an underground city located under the streets of San Juan. She wants to make sure they’re there to destroy any weapons in the underground city, not recover them. Coulson gives a speech. His number of acceptable losses is zero. No one is dying on his watch here.

agents of shield ye who enter here coulson and bobbie in san juan

Simmons and Fitz have it out. Fitz is going to leave the lab so that Simmons can run the science division. He’s going to the garage on the bus to work with Mac. Don’t break up FitzSimmons! Fitz says he can work for her, but not with her. Ugh, you’re killing us, Fitz! Simmons just kind of nods her head and stares at the wall as Fitz leaves the room.

Bobbie and Coulson walking around San Juan makes me really want to visit San Juan. Wow, it is just beautiful.

Skye is guarding Raina. Raina realizes Hydra doesn’t want to kill her, they need her because Raina can hold the diviner. Raina tells Skye that she thinks Skye would live if she touched it too. Raina tries to hail the Hydra goons, but a Koenig runs down the Hydra guys in his van. Hunter and May pull Skye and Raina in the van.

Agent 33 calls Whitehall. They failed to abduct Raina, but Raina does have a tracker on her. Whitehall says he’ll get his best man on it.

Koenig is talking to Trip and says it must be weird for May seeing someone with her face. And then the other Koenig walks in. I love this episode. Trip asks how many Koenig brothers there are. They say 13 in unison. Trip flips. It’s just a joke, Trip…I think.

agents of shield ye who enter here koenigs

May tells Coulson that Raina says she can touch the obelisk without being harmed. In San Juan, Bobbie’s contact is afraid of the secret city and won’t join them. Coulson, Mac, FitzSimmons and Bobbie head down there. It looks like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade down there. Fitz sends some drones down a big hole to survey the tunnel. Simmons is finishing his sentences He doesn’t seem to mind that much. Uh oh, the drones just failed.

HENRY SIMMONS, IAIN DE CAESTECKER, ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE

Raina gets her very own SHIELD lanyard. She and Skye talk over tea on the Bus. Raina tells Skye that her dad delivered her. Skye counters that he’s a murderer and almost killed her friend, Trip. Skye does want to understand her dad though. Raina tells Skye about how she first met him in Thailand. She was a con artist. Skye’s dad took her in. During the story, Raina calls the aliens the Kree! Raina names the Kree! Eeeee! This is huge! SHIELD really has become the stealthy background of building the biggest movies!

Raina is in Skye’s head. Skye wants to call Coulson and the team back to the Bus, but there’s no signal. Whitehall hails them. He’s jamming them. He wants Raina. Hand her over or be shot down. The bus is surrounded by Hydra Quinjets.

Mac hits the bottom of the tunnel. When Mac touches the ground, the symbols from the obelisk appear there, and then on his hand. He’s in pain, like “shoot me now” kind of pain. Oh man, I like Mac! Don’t kill him!

Coulson and company pull Mac out. He’s having a heart attack or something. Then he’s fine. Now, he’s not. His eyes are red. Mac says, “Run” and then proceeds to super-punch Coulson across the room. Ruh roh.

Ward leads in some Hydra goons onto the bus. Hey, a reunion! Skye tells Ward to pick a side. He ignores her and tells Raina, “Let’s go.” Raina is cool with leaving. But then Ward announces that he wants Skye too.

Bobbie fighting Mac is like Rey Mysterio fighting the Rock or Big Show. Fitz zaps Mac with an electroshock before she has the chance to crush Bobbie’s larynx…but it has no effect.

Back at the Mexican standoff on the Bus, guns are drawn and Ward tells Skye that if she comes, no one dies. A Koenig points out that Ward killed his brother. But Skye agrees to go.

Coulson pulls Mac off Bobbie. Simmons is almost thrown down into the pit. Coulson saves her. Fitz is about to shoot Mac, but tries talking him down. Bobbie electrocutes him. He falls down into the tunnel. Coulson tells her to seal the tunnel. She’s stunned, but Coulson yells, “That’s not Mack!” So much for zero acceptable losses.

Agent 33 gets in Whitehall’s car. She tells him Ward has Raina, however there was a complication, he also took Skye. Whitehall okay with it, noting that at least Ward shot the SHIELD plane down. Agent 33 basically says, “Yeah…he didn’t.” Whitehall gives the command, which Agent 33 relays to some Hydra guys: shoot down the plane. Her robotic voice really freaks me out.

And that’s it! Oh man, we only have one more episode before the mid-season break! Expect excitement next week!

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Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.

 

REED DIAMOND, ALEXANDER LEEB

The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection. 

the things we bury skyes mom and whitehall

 Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching.
Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.

 

The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on it. Hunter and Mac watch her chip away at Bakshi. Seeing Adrianne Palicki kick ass on this show makes me really wish that her Wonder Woman pilot was picked up. I’m not complaining too much though, because she completely rocks as a SHIELD agent.  Mac is worried about Coulson, and expresses it to Hunter. Mac definitely doesn’t have full faith in Coulson after seeing how crazy Coulson was acting while he was strapped into that memory machine. Simmons joins them. Simmons does not like Bakshi at all. Bobbie suggests to Bakshi that he’s been brainwashed by Whitehall. Bakshi doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t not believe her either.

 

Christian is on the phone, first with his wife and then his mistress as he pulls up to his family’s house in the woods. You guys, Christian cheats on his wife. That’s how you know he’s badder than he lets on. Ward throws one of Christians guards through Christian’s window to get his brother’s attention. It works.

 

the things we bury ward in action

 

Coulson’s team land in Oahu. He gives his team some fun assignments when they land in Hawaii. He tells Skye to bring this watch to a guy to get inscribed “Dearest Darren, I count the seconds that we’re apart. Love, Your Island Flower.” He warns her that if the watch starts to leak, drop it and run. He gives Trip a button and dry cleaning ticket. He warns Trip not to put the button in his pocket if he wants kids, and to come back with the blue tie. Ooooh, we are in full secret agent mode! Fitz wants to know what Coulson wants of him. Coulson needs Fitz to install some equipment in the field, under pressure in under 6 minutes. He wants Fitz to practice until he gets it right. I wonder if Coulson actually needs this installed or if he’s just helping Fitz through busywork.

 

Bobbie is twiddling her escrima sticks. Hunter asks what’s wrong. She says she’s got Bakshi figured out, but can’t figure out what’s the deal is with Whitehall. Simmons finds some files made by Agent Carter (coming soon to ABC)! May pulls out the key to Vault B from a secret cubbyhole. Agent Carter left it there. Oh, SHIELD base…so many secret cubbyholes.

 

Cut to the past…Agent Carter time! Carter is interrogating Werner Reinhardt, aka Daniel Whitehall. Reinhardt wants a deal. Carter isn’t going for it. She thinks he’s a monster. He claims he’s the only one who can explain all the items Carter has taken from him. Whitehall talks about “A city in the east. Blue angels bearing a gift for all mankind.” Whitehall tells her these visitors came to conquer the world. Guys, I’m like 99% sure he’s talking about the Kree here, and that the secret city is Attilan. Now, if you’re a Marvel Comics reader, you’re probably thinking the exact same thing, but for those of you who don’t read the comics, the Kree are an alien race who have come to Earth numerous times and experimented on humans. Their most famous experiments are the Inhumans, a super powered Kree created offshoot of humanity.

 

the things we bury carter and whitehall
In the present, Kyle tells Whitehall, it’s not conquer, it’s end. End mankind. Except for a chosen few, chosen by the diviner, aka the obelisk. Kyle says he can get Whitehall into the temple that the diviner opens. Whitehall is afraid of a double cross, but Kyle doesn’t want the power for himself, he only wants revenge on who killed his wife, and to be reunited with this family in the afterlife. Kyle is seriously coo coo.

 

Ward is leading a handcuffed Christian into the woods. Christian tries to convince Ward that Ward is free because of him. Ward picks up a shovel. He want Christian to dig up the well from their youth. Ward explains that their parents didn’t fill in the well; they just covered it up.

 

At the Bus, Fitz is working. He gets it done 11:23. Not fast enough. Again! Fitz thinks Coulson is just testing him. Me too, Fitz, me too. Trip puts it into perspective by mentioning that Coulson just had him deliver a button to a 300 pound Hawaiian man. Fair enough. Coulson moves in mysterious ways.

 

At the base, Hunter finds the Reinhardt file. After seeing Reinhardt’s photo, Simmons realizes that REINHARDT is WHITEHALL! Dun! Dun! Dun! Oh wait, we knew that. The characters are just catching up to us. May verifies it by pulling up Reinhardt’s photo as an old man, a life prisoner at the Rat. Somehow he’s turned back the clock.

 

In the past, Carter turns down Whitehall. She tells him she’s burying him here, in the Rat. Reinhardt is locked up for a long time. Strangely, they give him access to different books over the years, and a chess set. The chess set is less surprising, but why give the Nazi scientist reading material? If I’ve got a Nazi prisoner, he’s getting one back issue of TV Guide that already had the crossword puzzle done and that’s it. 44 years later, Reinhardt is an old man.  Undersecretary Pierce (Hail Hydra) has him freed. The agent freeing him says “Hail Hydra.” He tells Reinhardt that after all these years, they found the woman, she’s still alive. I have a feeling it’s the lady from earlier…and also Skye’s mom. Hey look, I’m right…on the first part at least. She’s as young as she was in 1945. They’re now in Austria in 1989.  Strangely, the suits don’t have giant shoulder pads.

 

Reinhardt is excited. He’s going to cut her open. She, understandably, freaks out.

 

Simmons says there are no records for Reinhardt post-1989. Hunter gives Reinhardt’s file to Bobbie. She asks Bakshi if his devotion to Whitehall is based on fear or respect. Bakshi plays to the closed circuit camera, mentioning how quickly Bobbie ingratiated herself into Hydra, trying to get her SHIELD teammates to turn on her. Bobbie realizes Bakshi is afraid of disappointing Whitehall. She says they’ll tell Whitehall that Bakshi gave them everything on Whitehall, everything in the Reinhardt file. Bakshi tenses. Baksi slams his head onto the table as hard as he can to dislodge a cyanide capsule in his cheekbone. Sneaky sneaky Bakshi.

 

Ward wants Christian to admit that he made Ward push Thomas (the third Ward brother) down the well. Christian tells him he’s wrong. Ward says he isn’t falling for it. This whole family is nuts. Christian manages to sucker-hit Ward with the shovel. Ward drags him back and pulls the wooden cover off the well. He hangs Christian over the well. Seriously, nutty family. Ward is about to throw him in and Christian admits it was him, he wanted Thomas dead. “Thomas was the only one mom didn’t torture.” What. The Fuck. He tearfully apologizes to Grant, who gives him no emotion back. Grant helps him to his feet and hugs him, tears up a little and then to everyone’s surprise, walks off with his brother arm in arm. I really thought Christian was going in the well.

 

Coulson’s team is in Australia. They’re in Australia and not Hawaii because of an overly complicated bit about the software they need to map the Earth to find the secret city is in a Hawaii base being too heavily guarded, but the button and watch introduced a Trojon Horse that will knock out the Hawaiian feed, bringing the Australian one online. This makes sense only when Coulson explains it. Sorry. Fitz has the transceiver down to 7:28. That’s still not good enough. Fitz believes in himself though and is confident he’ll nail it in the field.

 

They hit the base. It’s empty. Their radios are jammed. They’re ambushed!! The crew is tied up. Is this Hydra? It looks like Hydra. The servers are coming online as the shootout is underway. Coulson brings the crew to safety. Trip takes out some Hydra while Fitz gets to work. Trip is shot. It misses his vest. He’s going to bleed out. Kyle rushes in and offers to help. “I’m a doctor.” Whhhhhaaaat?

 

He’s not kidding about helping. He pulls out his medical supplies and works on pulling out the bullet from Trip. Phil is shocked that Kyle knows his name. Coulson draws his gun on him. Kyle tells them that if he lets go of the clamp, Trip dies. Kyle takes their guns, and gets back to work.

 

Kyle tells Phil he knows what’s inside the secret city. Phil asks if whatever it is inside has tesseract level power. Kyle says “Sure…I don’t know what that is.” Ha, best line of the night! Kyle then goes on a weirdo rant, and gets really angry when Phil refers to his daughter as Skye. He tells Phil how to save Trip and bounces. Fitz gets to work on the transceiver while Coulson works on saving Trip. Trip is going to make it. Yay. I like Trip.

 

Whitehall is meeting with….??? We see a flashback of him operating on Skye’s mom. They vivisect her. By the end, she’s dead, and he injects himself with her blood, making him young again. Oh, he’s taking to Ward. Interesting. He offers Ward a second chance. Wow, Ward killed Christian and his own parents! And made a recording of Christian’s confession by the well to make it look like a murder suicide. Oh Ward…

 

Bakshi is alive, just barely. Hunter accuses Bobbie of pushing Bakshi too hard because he was about to reveal her Hydra secrets. They argue. Bobbie basically says that he’s the one person she doesn’t lie too. Then they’re undressing and getting int he back of a SHIELD van. If the SHIELD van is a knocking…

 

Skye and Coulson are searching for the city. Skye tells Coulson, you’re acting like you saw the devil out there. Before he can respond, the computer has found the city! Oh boy!

 

Speaking of the devil, Kyle is meeting with Whitehall and Ward. Whitehall is teaming them up. When Kyle hears that Ward was on Coulson’s team, he perks up. He tells Ward it’s always good to look your enemy right in the eye…and then looks right at Whitehall.

 

Cut to 25 years ago. Kyle has found the lady’s dead body. It’s definitely Skye’s mom. He vows to kill her killer. Hey Kyle, it’s Whitehall. Oh wait, by now you know that.
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Agents of SHIELD – S2E6 – A Fractured House – Recap

The episode opens at the UN. Talbot talking about being in New York City during the battle for New York, aka The Avengers movie. In his speech, he stomps SHIELD into a mudhole. The Italian diplomat stands up to him. A squad busts in led by a guy who I thought was Batroc the Leaper (he’s not, pity) and starts hitting diplomats with those discs that obelisk people. Is obelisk a verb? It is now. The discs don’t turn people into obelisks, but it has the same effect that touching it, or you know, drinking champagne laced with the cells of its victims does. Not-Batroc and his people are wearing clothes sporting the SHIELD logo. Not-Batroc announces “SHIELD is done hiding” as tries to kill Talbot with one of those discs. Oh boy.

Agents-of-SHIELD-206-disc

Ward opens his eyes like he’s Jack in the opening of the pilot of Lost. He then goes through the Desmond workout from the opening of the first episode of the second season of Lost. I’m starting to think I know what show the Agents of SHIELD writer like the most. Hint: it rhymes with “LOST.” Ward has an insane workout routine. Skye and Gemma are watching the Ward channel. Gemma admits to watching it every day, but she manages to say it in a wholly scientific and non-sexy way.  May comes in to announce to them that there’s been an attack on the UN. Coulson figures out it’s Hydra immediately.
Coulson wants coffee and finds a grumpy cat mug. “Did someone bring this from home?” That’s a good question. How does a Grumpy Cat mug end up in a hidden SHIELD base. I thought everything was only allowed to have the SHIELD logo on it. I kind of wish that mug did have both Grumpy Cat and a SHIELD logo on it. Coulson tells Skye to put the alien writing deciphering on the back burner for now. Bobbie Morse, in a purple Star Wars t-shirt,  shows up with some intel. I have never loved Star Wars more. She says Marcus Scarlotti is the name of guy I thought was Batroc. Coulson tells Bobbie to join Hunter and May to take on the developer of the obelisk weapon. Neither Hunter nor Bobbie are feeling good about this team-up. Coulson basically says get over it or get out.
bobbie star wars shirt shield
Talbot is now in an arm sling. I’m guessing the disintegrater disc missed him. He meets with government honcho. Talbot tells him he thinks it wasn’t actually SHIELD. And then we find out that this government dude is Ward’s brother, Christian Ward. DUN DUN DUN!
christan ward
Coulson and Skye watch Ward’s brother on TV announce he wants to dismantle SHIELD. He calls SHIELD terrorists. Coulson shows Skye a map of the remaining SHIELD operatives. There aren’t many dots on that map.
Coulson contacts Agent Walters int he Netherlands. He tells her to go dark. Hmmm…could this be Jen Walters? For those of you who don’t read comics, Jennifer Walters is the cousin of Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk. Because she desperately needed a blood transfusion to save her life, Bruce agreed to go against his better judgement and donate his blood. This blood transfusion transformed her into the sometimes savage, sometimes sensational She-Hulk. At one time, She-Hulk worked for SHIELD.
Shulk-Fu-She-Hulk-SHIELD-suit-580x345
On the flight to Japan, Bobbie and Hunter try to have a civil conversation. Bobbie is slightly better at it than Hunter is. Bobbie is surprised that Hunter has stuck around. Once the conversation gets a little more passive aggressive, Bobbie goes to the cockpit to talk to May. She asks May if she’s ever been married and if she still talks to her ex. May answers her with silence to both questions.
Fitz is mumbling to himself in his lab. Simmons (the real one) visits him. I wonder if he was talking to fake Simmons just before this. He was definitely talking to himself, so maybe. Simmons asks Fitz for help figuring out something. Woo, FitzSimmons is back! Simmons sees just how bad Fitz’s condition is. It clearly gets to her.
Skye asks Ward about his older brother, the Senator. I wonder how the third Ward brother will one day play into the series. Ward tells her to stay away from him. The way Ward describes him, Christian is a worse guy than he is, and SHIELD/Hydra Ward is pretty bad.
In Japan, May, Bobbie and Hunter try to figure out how to take down Toshiro. Bobbie suggests going in under her Hydra cover. Hunter backs her up with some passive aggressiveness thrown in for old time’s sake. Toshiro’s men check Bobbie for weapons, as May and Hunter watch from the Van.
Bobbie and Toshiro meet. Bobbie speaks Japanese…and then starts making out with Toshiro. That must be fun for Hunter to watch. Toshiro then asks Bobbie if she is working for SHIELD. Bobbie deflects and asks about Scarlotti’s weapons. May and Hunter give running commentary. Toshiro calls them splinter bombs. Bobbie wants some, but he’s shipped them all out to Hydra.
Hunter intercepts an incoming message to Toshiro’s people. It’s alerting them at Bobbie is SHIELD. Hunter stops a gunman from shooting Bobbie in the back of the head. She’s pissed, claiming she totally knew about the guy walking directly behind her with a gun. Uh-huh. After taking out Toshiro’s men, they head to Belguim.
Fitz is looking at Blackbird files. He has a hard time getting his thoughts out and gets frustrated when Simmons tries to finish his sentences. Fitz lashes out at Simmons for leaving when she did. It doesn’t end well. Simmons leaves, just as Mac arrives.
Coulson is in Christian Ward’s office when Christian walks in. Christian won’t shake his hand. Maybe he’s just a germophobe. Coulson wants to clear the air regarding the UN attack, saying it wasn’t his team. Coulson basically gives up Ward to Christian.
Skye visits Ward again. She tells him no one is watching.
Coulson tells Christian that he knows about the well. Christian paints the picture that Ward is just a big fat liar.
Ward tells the same thing about Christian. That’s he’s worse than Ward is.
Christian tells Coulson a story about finding Grant standing over Thomas with s screw driver. Thomas is the third Ward brother we haven’t met yet. Christian basically paints Grant Ward to be a sociopath. He plays Coulson right into his hands, telling him that he’s spent too much of his life trying to unravel his lies and that he always finds someone to believe them. Coulson feels the same way about Ward.
Cut to Ward possibly lying to Skye. This show needs a Lying Cat. Lying Cat would be so helpful here.
Coulson offers Christian a deal.
Ward tells Skye about her dad. Ward sounds super creepy during this scene. He tells her that the people who died when Skye was found in the Hunan province were Hydra agents, not villagers. Hydra killed Skye’s mother. Skye’s father then killed all of the Hydra agents. Ward wants to go on the run with Skye. Skye thanks him for telling him everything he knows and that it’s time to get him out of there…because they’re giving him to his brother.
Mac and Fitz figure out these bombs go back to a design from the 1940s, designed by Vincent Beckers…the same Beckers May is going heading to? Is he another guy who doesn’t age? Simmons says we have to tell Coulson now!
Ward is pleading his case to Coulson. Coulson isn’t having it. Coulson has it out on Ward, telling him the laundry list of things he’s done: almost killing FitzSimmons, killing Victoria Hand and Ezra Koenig. Trip pulls Coulson out. Christian’s men are here for Ward. .
Vincent Beckers is Julian’s grandfather. Ah, got it. Coulson relaizes they’ve been played. In Belguim, Beckers is waiting for Agents Walters in the safe house. He’s killed the SHIELD agents in the house. Wait, how? Is he a superhuman. Oh, Beckers has a Hydra team with him. Scarlottie comes in with a knife. Walters headbutts him. He discs her in the stomach and she turns to dust. Okay, definitely not Jennifer Walters. False alarm. No She-Hulk here.
Hunter busts down the door, offering Scarlotti and his people beer. They’re justifiably confused. Bobbie and May burst in. Bobbie whips out her escrima sticks and goes to town. She and Hunter make a good team.
agents of shield s236 bobbie
May and Scarlotti fight. He’s got a knife on a chain and knows how to use it. May dodges him well. It’s an exciting fight scene. Man, sometimes I’m watching Mingna Wen kick ass in these fight scenes, it occurs to me that this is the same woman who for the longest time I associated with The Joy Luck Club. Night and day. At some point, May ends up with Scarlotti’s knife.
Bobbie thanks hunter for saving her life three times today. Awww, are they getting back together?
May (mainly May’s knee) takes down Scarlotti. Unforuntatey, every SHIELD agent in the house other than she, Hunter and Bobbie, are dead. 
Simmons thanks Mac for helping Fitz. Mac says Fitz doesn’t need any help. He says that Fitz is definitely a different man from the Fitz that Simmons knew, but Mac never knew the old Fitz. He says she needs to get used to the new Fitz. Simmons wants to tell Mac why she left, but Mac doesn’t want to hear it. He says that the only thing that makes Fitz worse is her. She agrees. That’s why she left.
Hunter is leaving the team. Bobbie wishes him well, and hints he should stay.
There’s a big squad of guys there to take Ward form the stronghold.  Simmons stares Ward in the eyes while he’s marched out. Simmons tells Ward that she’ll kill him if she ever sees them again. I think she’s serious. Coulson can’t even look Ward in the face.
Talbot takes Scarlotti into custody.
Christian Ward gives a press conference separating SHIELD from Hydra, and stating bluntly that Hydra is the threat. He comes clean about his brother being in Hydra.
Ward says to Coulson,”Tell Skye this doesn’t change anything. I’ll keep my promise.” Yeah, I don’t see Coulson relaying that message. On the truck out of town, Ward dislocates his thumbs, frees himself and fights ALL the guards in the truck with him.
At some tattoo shop, some guys is getting all that alien writing tattooed on himself. Silly guy. Carve that into walls. Wait, who is this guy?
agents of shield s2e6 tattooed guy
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Agents of SHIELD – S2E3 – Making Friends and Influencing People – Recap

We open on some dude that kinda looks like the Silver Fox from Mad Men, but with glasses. It’s not him. He’s a scotch collector. Seriously, he loves his scotch, going on and on about how he bought a case for $10 when he first enlisted and let it mature. “$10 seemed so expensive back then.” Wait a minute, I think this guys ages like Captain America, in that he doesn’t. He has a metronome going in his apartment. Metronomes signify evil, right? No upstanding sane person just has a metronome going all day, well no upstanding sane person outside of the music field, I mean. Oh, he has a woman strapped to some machinery and has her eyes forced open with wire. Okay, this is definitely not a good guy. I wonder if we’re looking at a character from Cap’s past or a new character for the show. He brainwashing a SHIELD agent named Agent 33. She’s adamant that she won’t break.

SHIELD-s2e3-agent-33

On a brighter note, Simmons is back! The real Simmons, I mean, not just the Fitz’s imaginary friend Simmons. Simmons’s intro really reminds me of the intro to Desmond on season two of Lost. On a side note, this song that’s playing during her reintroduction montage is God Help The Girl by God Help The Girl. I’ve really been digging this lately. You should check it out too. 

Wait a minute…Simmons is working for Hydra?!! And they’re pretty blatant about putting their logo out and about, like “let’s hang a three foot version of our secret group’s logo on this wall” blatant.

 May is teaching Skye how to shoot. Skye likes to pretend that the targets are all Ward. Skye is wearing a FitBit like bracelet to monitor her heart rate. Apple should have totally jumped on season two of SHIELD for branding their Applewatch. May warns Skye that “Experience doesn’t make it any easier to take someone out.” If you didn’t watch season one of SHIELD, Skye does a great job of summing it up for Lance in about 10 seconds.
Coulson returns to the base. Coulson was after Agent 33, but Hydra got to her first.
Simmons’s boss is total middle management. He’s getting on Simmons’s ass about needing some info for a presentation. Simmons glances at his folder and sees Donnie Gill’s photo. You might remember Donnie from such things as almost destroying the SHIELD Academy, aka SHIELDwarts, last season with his weather-machine/bomb.
Donnie’s now in Marrakesh. He trades fixing old radios for coffee. It’s a living. He also has ice powers. When the barista starts acting suspicious, Donnie freezes him solid.  Two SHIELD (or Hydra…who can tell these days?) agents come out of hiding and ask him to stand down. He freezes one of them. The other runs off. Donnie freezes the guy so solidly that when he tips over, he shatters. Yet the guy’s phone doesn’t freeze and works fine. Here that, Apple?
 
Simmons comes home and hears someone in her apartment. She pulls out her gun and almost shoots Coulson. Coulson goes all Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on her fridge, and cooks her dinner as she fills him in. Coulson is both charming and shows excellent cooking skill in this scene. No wonder that cellist in Portland fell for him. Simmons is clearly glad to see Coulson. I’m clearly glad to see Simmons. She fills him in on Donnie, and how he’s basically Iceman now.
Back at the base, Coulson fills the team in on Hydra going after Gill. Interestingly, he goes out of his way not to say that it was Simmons who gave him the information. Look at Phil, keeping it close to the vest. Join my team and betray me once, shame on you. Join my team and betray me twice, shame on me.  Fitz is asked about Gill. He suggests asking Simmons if they know how to contact her.
MING-NA WEN, HENRY SIMMONS, NICK BLOOD, CHLOE BENNET
Skye misses the meeting, because she’s questioning Ward. He’s about to tell Skye about her dad when Skye cuts him off, asking Ward about how Hydra deals with recruiting gifted people. Ward explains that Hydra goes by the convince, capture or kill method. 
In Casablanca, Donnie is wandering the docks. He uses his ice powers to freeze a a boat in place. Um, Donnie, it’s already anchored.
Simmons is taken upstairs by security. This can’t be good. They’re on to her.  Even her boss is afraid for her. Simmons has to prove her loyalty to Hydra. She’s being questioned by the Silver Fox’s friend whose name I didn’t catch at the start of the episode. He accuses her of lying to them before the show cuts to commercial. Dun dun dun!
simmons is back
Back from the break, and Simmons is still being questioned. Donnie Gill is being referred to as Project: Blizzard. For you home-gamers, Blizzard is an Iron Man villain with ice powers. Simmons plays the part of the cold-hearted scientist to prove her loyalty to Hydra and separate herself from SHIELD.
Agent 33 is still being brainwashed by the Silver Fox. She’s trying to pry herself lose. She gets one hand free, but the Silver Fox catches her. She doesn’t have the willpower to fight back. Agent 33 is still trying to fight back, even if she can’t escape. The Silver Fox doesn’t even bother to re-restrain her.
Coulson’s team goes to investigate Donnie’s icecap around a boat, leaving Mac and Fitz behind. Mac suggests they use this time to work on Fitz. Mac is like the Sean Maguire to Fitz’s  Will Hunting. It’s not your fault, Fitz. It’s not your fault. 
its not your fault
Hydra and Simmons are heading to Gill too. Donnie wants to be left alone. He really likes freezing people. Donnie plans to kill every Hydra agent they send. Hydra sends Simmons. Don’t kill Simmons, Donnie!
simmons on a boat
Back at Coulson City (that’s what I’m now calling Coulson’s team’s base), Fitz is having a deep convo with imaginary Simmons. I love this episode. We’re getting double the Simmons! It’s funny how different season 1 (imaginary) Simmons and season 2 (real) Simmons dress. Fitz tells Simmons she’s not really here. He then heads to Ward’s cell to confront him. Fitz immediately can’t handle it and starts to have a breakdown. It’s not your fault, Fitz. It’s not your fault.
Coulson has an invisible jet! Take that, Wonder Woman!
Lance flirts with Skye as they gets ready to parachute with May out of the Bus. Everyone’s flirting with Skye…
Ward explains that he wasn’t trying to kill FitzSimmons when he dropped them in the ocean, he was trying to save them. Fitz shows Ward what hypoxia feels like by killing the oxygen in Ward’s cell. Oh boy. Ward warns Fitz about Donnie. Donnie is a trap! I think!
Simmons searches the ship for Donnie. She plays the “Hey, we hung out a SHIELDwarts that one time they you almost blew up the place” card.
May, Skye and Lance storm the boat. Skye gets the best line of the week when she tells Lance, “You don’t give the orders, Trainspotting.” His response: “I’m not Scottish.” They take out some Hydra agents. Elsewhere, Mac takes out some enemy soldiers in a video game. Fitz gets his attention by unplugging everything.
Simmons meets up with Donnie. She’s trying to recruit him for Hydra…because she doesn’t want to be shot…or frozen. Her Hydra handler gives Simmons something to tell him. It’s his brainwash program phrase. She repeats it to him a couple of times.
Fitz explains to Coulson that Donnie’s already been brainwashed by Hydra and they’re reactivating him. Lance has an open shot on the Hydra agent talking to Donnie. Don’t shoot, that’s Simmons! May shoots Lance, which ruins Lance’s shot and freaks Donnie out and ruins Lance’s shot. Donnie almost freezes Simmons. Simmons runs back to her Hydra boss, who patiently waits for Donnie. He tells Donnie his program phrase. It totally brainwashes Donnie. Donnie is now 100% Hydra. Simmons, her boss and the Hydra crew get to the chopper and Donnie is left behind to ice everyone else.
Lance tries shooting his way out of a frozen door. It doesn’t work. Ice is overtaking the ship when Skye takes out Donnie with a sniper rifle. He falls into the water and is encapsulated by ice Captain America style. Simmons saves her boss from another of Skye’s sniper rifle shot. That keeps Simmons’s cover maintained. Skye radios into Trip. They both know that Skye is under deep cover. I’m confused. I thought Skye was pissed at Simmons last week. Oooo, good one Skye. Way to be all secret agenty around your friends. 
Skye asks May about Simmons. As it turns out, Skye did not know Simmons was undercover before the boat. May did though.
Coulson recovers a bunch of Hydra cargo. No one finds Gill’s body. 
Coulson has it out with Fitz. Coulson knows he almost killed Ward. Fitz uses the “but I didn’t” excuse. Coulson tells Fitz about Simmons. Fitz asks if she wanted to leave. Coulson gives him a non-answer.
The Silver Fox is the new Hydra big shot. He asks Simmons’s boss who is in charge at SHIELD. He doesn’t know. Agent 33 walks in with some paperwork, which is in a Hydra logo embossed folder. Seriously guys, way to go on the whole secret organization stuff. Agent 33 is 100% Hydra. Simmon’s boss wants to bring Simmons upstairs to the top floor, and says that if she betrays them, they’ll brainwash her too.
Skye meets up with Ward. Ward tells her that he was never brainwashed. Ward also tells her that her dad is alive. Skye freaks and runs away. Her watch shows her heart rate spiking. And that’s it! Come back next episode…and buy a FitBit in the meantime, just like Skye!
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Agents of SHIELD – S2E2 – Heavy Is the Head – Recap

I completely did not realize that Lucy Lawless was the new agent who was introduced and killed off last episode. I vaguely remember hearing that she was going to be on SHIELD this season, but man, I totally did not realize that was her. Man, we’re far away from the days of Xena: Warrior Princess…

But on with the show. This episode starts off pretty much when were last week left off. Two of the new agents are dead. May saves the new British agent. His name is Brit until I’m told otherwise. Well, she doesn’t really saves him. She tries to free him from the flipped over jeep, but he tells her to go after Creel. May motorcycles after Creel, but does give Brit a laser torch so that he can cut his way out. Unfortunately, just as he cuts his way free, the army shows up.

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May chases Creel. Coulson is on the other end of her com and tells her not to engage. May questions his orders, but reluctantly pulls back. I really do love that the most bad-ass character on this show is a woman. May really is the Wolverine of the show. 

Back at the base, the Quinjet arrives with Skye and Triplett.  Am I the only one feeling a Trip-Skye-Ward love triangle? Last season, it looked like Trip was going to get between Fitz and Simmons, but this season, it looks like he’s good-Ward.

Coulson wants the Bus outfitted with the Quinjet’s cloaking hardware and tells Skye to put Mac on it. I’m assuming Mac is one of the new people? Skye tells Coulson that there were symbols on the McGuffin from last episode, and they match the symbols Coulson’s been drawing when he zones out.

Ah, Brit’s name is Lance Hunter. The solders that captured him drop him off in a field. Immediately after that, a helicopter lands and General Talbot gets out. That Talbot sure likes to make an entrance. He could have just as easily had his men just deliver Lance directly to him.

Skye is pissed at Simmons for bailing on Coulson’s team. Fitz shows up as she’s venting. Fitz is seriously out of it. He sounds like he’s on heavy duty painkillers. This scene just makes me think that man…I miss FitzSimmons.

Talbot wants Lance to sell out Coulson. It doesn’t look like he’s going to sell out, until he gets Talbot to agree to clear Harley (Harvey?) and give her a proper funeral. Harley is Lucy Lawless for those of you having an equally hard time of keeping track of the new characters names. So let me get this straight. Mercenary Lance is willing to sell out the living in order to help the dead…interesting.

Coulson is using one of those 3D computer monitor thingies where you swipe the air. He pulls up Agent Carter’s file and says “Hmmm,” as in “Hmmm, this could be a good spin off. Agent Carter coming in 2015 to ABC!” He sets a reminder to look out for the mystery weapon from last week the way I set reminders about where I parked my car.

Skye wants to head to the field. Coulson won’t let her go to the field. He’s worreid about Skye dying. She feels he’s being overprotective, but in his defense, between the end of last season and the start of this one, Coulson doesn’t have a great track record in keeping his people alive. Skye recommends that Coulson try yoga in order to relax. Coulson has his best line of the episode here, with  “I tried it, but I’m really not flexible.” So much subtext…

Fitz is still seeing imaginary Simmons. Amazingly, she’s still dressed like a prep school student. Why aren’t you imagining her in a bikini fitz?Imaginary Simmons points out that Absorbing Man’s DNA is just sitting there on the printer and tells him he should go check it out. Imaginary Simmons is like a very prim and proper devil sitting on Fitz’s shoulder.

Speaking of Creel, he’s in a diner. That weird metal from last week’s McGuffin messed up his powers. He keeps turning into that metal, but it looks pretty painful and cracks his skin. He’s rude to a waitress. I hope she isn’t expecting a tip from him. May is waiting outside for Creel. When she hears a scream, she rushes in. The waitress who touched Creel rots like Harley did last week, except it’s just her arm. Her whole body rots like she picked the wrong holy grail to drink from. Creel has kind of turned into the Grey Gargoyle. For those of you who don’t read comics, The Grey Gargoyle is a Hulk villain who can turn people to stone with a touch.

Coulson gets an alert. We cut to Triplett, who  meets up with Lance and take him to Coulson. Lance is not happy when Coulson blames Harley’s death on Harley. Lance tells Coulson he didn’t rat on him. I don’t exactly believe him. I don’t think Coulson does either.

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Fitz analyzes the data on Creel. Simmons makes some suggestions. I’m actually likeing that Fitz’s smarts are coming through imaginary Simmons.

Creel gets in a truck where he keeps different objects. Huh, that’s a gool idea. Why didn’t the Absorbing Man in the comics ever do this. His powers are acting all wonky. He can’t absorb anything past his forearm. He gets a phone call from a Hydra guy sitting around dead bodies…it’s the dead bodies of the people Creel has touched, I’m guessing. So is this Hydra guy in SHIELD? The army? Or just working on his own?

Oh hey, Raina, aka the girl in the flower dress, is back. She’s trying to recruit Creel for something. She presents him with a ring. It’s carbide, a rare form of carbon found in stardust. 3x harder than diamond. And it can store energy. She’ll trade it for the obelisk from last week. As Creel threatens Raina, his powers act up again. He snatches the carbide from Flower dress and hops in his truck. Raina calls Coulson. Raina reveals that she no longer works for Hydra.

Fitz is trying to figure out the secret to stopping Creel and keeps saying “I didn’t design this today.” Mac deciphers what Fitz’s “I didn’t design this today” means. Mac is like his…mentor?

Creel meets with his Hydra backer. May, Lance and Skye are spying on him. That’s when Lance turns on them, stunning Skye and May and radioing to Talbot. Trip has a sniper rifle on Creel. Lance temporarily takes him out. Creel yoga breathes his power troubles away. Lance shoots a slow mo bullet at Creel that bounces off his alloy head. Creel gives chase. The Hydra dude looks around for the package with the obelisk, but Raina has grabbed it and it strutting away.

Creel is about to hit Lance with a killing blow when Coulson shows up and zaps him with Fitz’s device. It makes him go wonky and he turns to stone.

We cut to Lucy Laweless’s funeral. Lance watches from a far. He gets in the passenger side of a car. Oh wait, he just broke into a car. He puts a chain on the mirror. I think it belonged to Harley. Coulson does his best Batman by showing up out of nowhere. Coulson wants to recruit Lance…to sell Coulson out? Oh Phil, you so crazy.

Mac is working with Fitz some more. He brings up Simmon’s leaving to Fitz. Fitz’s brain does not like that.

HENRY SIMMONS, IAIN DE CAESTECKER, ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE

Raina and Coulson talk. She talks about Garrett carving weird symbols after he injected himself with the alien blood that brought Coulson back from the grave. You know, the same Garrett who thought he had a star inside his head. Coulson is intrigued 

Coulson and May meet. Coulson takes out a sheet and a knife, takes off his shoes and starts digging his weird shapes into the wall again. What is going on with you, Phil? May just watches and take photos. Before this, May points out that Coulson hasn’t zoned out and carved in a while. So he’s let her in this part of him. Interesting.

Kyle McLauchin is Rainia’s new boss. According to IMDB, he’s also Skye’s dad! WTF!!! He has Raina toouch the obelisk. She doesn’t want to, on account of it killing people. But she does touch it. The obelisk doesn’t kill her. It just ligths up. According to Kyle, it “let “her live. She wants to know how it works. Kyle want Raina to get him Skye.

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Coulson meets with Talbot. Talbot asks “Where’s Lance?” Coulson offers Talbot a deal. Talbot can have Creel wrapped in a stasis field bow. All Coulson wants is Talbot off his and his team’s back. Talbot decides instead that since Coulson is only one man, he can just arrest Coulson right now…except Coulson has the Bus back and it’s cloaked! And the Quinjet too! Coulson gets away. Oh man, Talbot, you just got Philled!