Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 9 – Ye Who Enter Here – Recap...

When the episode opens, Skye is in a white flower-print dress running barefoot running down a hall. It’s the dreaming? It kind of looks like she is. She’s yelling for Coulson. She can’t find anyone. She turns when she hears some chimes. This is one freaky dream. Coulson is now with her, staring at at a box. It’s a music box. Coulson and May are holding a baby. They’re dressed like suburbanites. May says “Sacrifices have to be made. Poison tree, poisoned fruit.” They leave the baby. The music box is the obelisk. When Skye touches it, it withers her. She wakes up int he bus, freaked out. The team has arrived at its destination. Mac is controlling a remote control Lucy (Coulson’s car, not Lucille Ball). He runs it into Fitz, who is impressed with the detail Mac put into this remote control car. He asks if it flies (it doesn’t). Mac is looking at Bobbie and Hunter being all chummy. Mac says a storm’s coming. Fitz takes him literally, and says he doesn’t think that’s in the forecast. Fitz was looking for Mac for a reason. He wants Mac to be a go between for him and Simmons. Mac suggests talking to her directly. Fitz blows Mac off. Simmons is bandaging up Trip, who is shirtless. Um, his eyes are up here, Simmons. Skye walks in just as Trip calls Skye’s dad nutty. Classic Trip… Coulson briefs his team. They basically walk through Hydra’s plans from the past few episodes and why they have to reach the temple in the secret city before Hydra does. There’s a LOT of exposition. I guess it’s handy if you’re someone who is just coming back to SHIELD after weeks of your friends telling you how good...

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap...

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.   The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection.   Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching. Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.   The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on...

Agents of SHIELD – S2E5 – A Hen in the Wolf House – Recap...

The episode opens on a wedding. There’s a lot of guys in uniform at this wedding. The wedding guests, and the TV viewing audience, are being subjected to a terrible best man speech. One lady asks the waiter for something stronger than champagne, but the bartender gives him a stern “No way, Jose” look. That, and the fact that the catering staff is totally jacked has me thinking something is up. At the end of the toast, everyone drinks their champagne…everyone except the booze hound lady looking for something stronger. She made the right call, as the champagne has been poisoned. It looks like they drank liquid obelisk. For some reason, this scene reminds me of the Foo Fighters Learn to Fly video. The catering crew takes off. They’re all Hydra agents reporting to that Hydra dude that works for Dr. Whitehall. At the SHIELD hideout, May, Skye, Trip and Hunter give us some exposition on the dead wedding guests. A bunch of them were in a Navy anti-Hydra unit. When they enter Coulson’s office, he’s scratching his weird alien script into his desk. Skye notices and asks what it is. Coulson covers, and asks Skye if she found any info as to where the obelisk is located. She says that she put some feelers out to her Rising Tide contacts. Hey, remember Rising Tide? They were the group Skye was affiliated with when she was living out of her van at the start of the series. That’s a name we haven’t heard in some time. In some back alley surgery room, Kyle MacLachlan, aka Skye’s dad, is removing a bullet from some dude while the dude’s friends watch. Raina enters. Those guys aren’t cool about it. Apparently, this is Kyle MacLachlan’s job, back alley...

GI Joe: Retaliation – Review Aug21

GI Joe: Retaliation – Review...

5/5 – COBRAAAAAAAAAAAA! When I first saw the trailer for GI Joe: Retaliation, with its ninjas swinging from mountaintops, I thought “Man, this looks awesome,” immediately followed by “Man, I bet this is going to suck.” It’s a lesson that has been beaten into me by the previous GI Joe movie, the Transformers franchise. There are enough cool looking action scenes to cobble together a trailer that makes me want to see what ends up being a tremendously awful movie. Despite feeling that I really should know better, I still wanted to see GI Joe: Retaliation. I missed it in the theater, but I caught it on Blu-ray recently. I wish I saw it in the theater. It’s awesome. If you were a fan of the GI Joe cartoon and comic from the 1980s, you will love this movie. It is so evocative of the cartoon that I half-expected to hear Cold Slither on the movie’s soundtrack. Dear Michael Bay: GI Joe: Retaliation is how you make a movie based on a 1980s franchise and not be accused of ruining people’s childhoods. The movie was awesome from the moment I popped the disc in. When it loads, you choose your side, GI Joe or Cobra. Depending on which side you choose, you’ll see different clips and graphics on the menu screens. I thought it was a cool touch. Also, Cobraaaaaaaaaa! In the behind the scenes special features included on the Blu-ray, it’s made clear why this GI Joe movie is so much better than the previous one. The main reason is director Jon Chu. He’s such a fan of the 1980s franchise and it comes through in the film. He pays a lot of fan service, but it’s not hollow. He’s putting this stuff...