Game of Thrones – S5E9 – The Dance of Dragons – Recap...

The episode opens on Stannis’s camp. Smoky Vijayjay is spooked. Fires are breaking out everywhere. Is this some kind of vision? No, no, this is real. Ramsey apparently came with his 20 good men.  Davos wants to retreat. Between Ramsey’s sneak attack and the hard winter storm, they can’t press forward and soon will be snowed in and unable to retreat too.  Stannis says no. He commands to “Have the dead horses butchered for meat.” That sounds like the story of Stannis’s army, am I right? Jon and company return to the Wall. Thorne opens the gates. You can just tell that Thorne wants to kill every one of the wildlings and Jon too. Stannis is sending Davos to the Wall to command Jon to give him more troops. Davos wants to take Stannis’s family with him, especially Stannis’s daughter, but Stannis says “My family stays with me.” I wonder if deep down Davos knows what Stannis has planned for his own daughter, Shireen.  Davos visits Shireen before she leaves. She’s reading The Dance of Dragons. No spoilers, Shireen! I’m not up to that book yet! Jaime is brought before the Dornish prince. Myrcella, Trystane and Slutty Princess Leia are all there. I really need a new nickname for Slutty Princess Leia. She hasn’t worn anything remotely resembling Leia’s outfit from Jabba’s throne room all season. That said, if my life depended on knowing what her actual name is, I’d be as dead as the Red Viper. Jaime tells them about the threatening message they received in King’s Landing regarding his daughter-niece. The prince doesn’t want war. He proposes a toast to Tomlin. Leia dumps her wine. Jaime wants Bronn freed, but the prince leaves it up to Prince Trystane to decide Bronn’s fate,...

Game of Thrones – S5E2 – The House of Black and White – Recap...

Arya is sailing on her boat to Braavos. They sail under that giant statue of a titan that is one of my favorite parts of every Game of Thrones opening. The captain says that the titan defends Braavos. Arya is experienced enough to realize that statues don’t to defend anyone. When they arrive in Braavos, Arya is left in front of a building with a black and white door. An old black man opens the door. He turns Arya away, even after Arya presents her coin to him. After the black and white door is shut in her face, Arya throws her coin of the faceless man into the water. Pod and Brienne have stopped at an inn for some food. Sansa and Littlefinger are dining there. Littlefinger should promote a line of pub food called Littlefingers li’l chicken fingers, but I digress. Pod spots Littlefinger and Sansa. Brienne introduces herself, and it goes poorly. But Brienne’s frustrated with her quest, and isn’t going to let Littlefinger’s men get in the way of her and Sansa. In classic Pod fashion, he loses control of his horse and goes galloping away during the fight. This gives us more time to focus on Brienne’s sword fight, where she breaks her opponents sword in half with her own. Half of Ice is quite the sword. In King’s Landing, Cersei has summoned Jaime. When he arrives, she has him finger a box. Not that box, you perv! The box springs open to his touch and a menacing  viper is revealed. Wait, now I’m not even sure I’m talking about the box on the table or Cersei’s. The viper statue in the box on the table has their daughter Marcela’s necklace on it. It’s clearly a threat, in revenge for the...