Monthly Archives: February 2011

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The 1st Annual Tuesdees Awards!

Welcome to The 1st Annual Tuesdees Awards, celebrating distinction in cinema as seen through the lens of Tuesday Night Movies. Your hosts tonight are Hathaboobs and The One Armed Franco!

Hathaboobs? The One Armed Franco? You here? No? I guess I’ll just have to start the show without them.

Movie of the Year Based on How Many Times I Watched It

Winner: The Fighter
I was all too ready to see The Fighter for a second time, so I did. And it was still great.

Honorable Mention: Every other movie (103-way tie)
The Fighter was the only movie I doubled up on. I thought Inception would have taken home this prize, but I haven’t had a chance to watch that for a second (and third and fourth) time yet.

Most Overrated Movie of the Year

Winner: Black Swan
Was there a movie that was more hyped than Black Swan? Coworkers, friends and family constantly asked “Did you see Black Swan yet?” with the expectant gaze that I would gush how it changed my view of cinema. It didn’t even crack my top 20 of 2010. Was it good? Yes. Was it that good? Eh…

Honorable Mention: Greenberg
If you told me you liked Greenberg, I would consider you as having overrated it.

The We Need Something to Get the Guys in Here Award

Winner: Love and Other Drugs
Two more seconds of Anne Hathaway’s boobs being shown in Love and Other Drugs would have meant it would only be available at the DVD stores along 8th Avenue.

Honorable Mention: Black Swan
Your favorite part of Black Swan was the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis make-out scene and your biggest complaint about the movie is that they couldn’t squeeze Winona Ryder into that scene.

Best Movie Theater

Winner:  Brooklyn Heights Cinema
Good movies, reasonable prices and the best movie theater popcorn in NYC. You should see more movies here in 2011.

Worst Movie Theater:

Winner: The Park Slope Pavilion
Broken seats, ripped seats, missing seats, overpriced tickets and concessions, and screens that are about the size of my home TV caused The Park Slope Pavilion to run away with this award in 2010. It’s sad; this used to be a good theater.

Most Improved Theater:

Winner: The Regal Court St
I used to avoid this theater like the plague, but if you follow my rules for seeing films here, you should be alright.

Best Commenter Name

Winner: Jesse Eisenberg rules, especially in Roger Dodger, Unstoppable
The poor man’s Michael Cera is now the rich man’s Michael Cera.

Honorable Mention: Joe Citation, First Blood
What happens when you forget to credit a friend from a Facebook post.

Most Vitriolic Fans

Winner: Carl, The Room
To this day, I feel like I let Carl down for not liking The Room.

Honorable Mention: N. Smith, The Secret of Kells
Wow, I really pissed this guy off. And his review of my review was as confusing as The Secret of Kells was.

The Would You Like a Job Here? Award

Winner: Bryan
Some of Bryan’s comments were as long as my posts, and I love him for it.

Honorable Mention: Bryan
Seriously, Bryan left a lot of comments in 2010.

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A Little Help?

First off, thank you for being a reader of Tuesday Night Movies. When I first started this blog, I figured my readership would be limited to a smattering of friends who felt pity for me, and my mom (who would also feel pity for me in this example). But the blog has continued to grow in readership. I was shocked to see that 750 people tuned in this week alone to read my thoughts on The Fighter. Thanks for that.

If you enjoy reading this blog, I have a small favor to ask of you. Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any of your money and requires only about a minute of your time.

A good friend of mine, the painter Graig Kreindler, is giving away a painting to whoever can get the most people to “like” his Facebook fan page.

Please head to his Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/GraigKreindler, hit the like button and leave a comment on his wall saying you were referred to him by Tuesday Night Movies. Make sure you leave a comment on his page, or else I don’t credit for referring you. The contest ends this Sunday, so if you could head over there now, that would be huge.

Whatever you do, DO NOT create fake Facebook accounts to get me more votes. That will just get me disqualified.

Graig is an amazing painter. I really think you’ll like his stuff. If you have ever had any love for baseball, you really need to see his stuff.

An example of the awesomeness that is Graig.

It’s a win-win-win. You get exposed to some amazing art, Graig gets more fans, and I might win a painting. If I win, I’ll be sure to post a picture of the painting here on Tuesday Night Movies.

Thanks in advance for doing this. It means a lot to me.

::We now return to you to your previously scheduled movie reviews already in progress::

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On The Couch 2011 #7: Away We Go

When Away We Go came out, I avoided it. From the previews and print ads, it seemed like it was just trying a little too hard to be the indie jewel of the moment. A pregnant main character, Allison Janney in a supporting role, pencil animation opening credits…wait a second, is this Juno 2?

Now that I’ve seen it, I regret avoiding it. Away We Go is a very good movie. The strength of the film comes from the supporting characters, who are all varying degrees of crazy. Without a doubt, my favorite of the crazy friends were the neo-hippie couple led by Maggie Gyllenhaal. Her scenes alone make Away We Go worth watching.

As great as Gyllenhaal is, the best line in the movie belongs to the sweet little kid who explains what he knows about babies…and infanticide by suffocation.

A lot of the dialogue is witty, but I guess that’s to be expected when Dave Eggers is the writer.

I’ve noticed in the rankings so far this year, that all of the movies I received on a disc from Netflix are ranked higher than every movie I’ve watched on instant streaming. Does this mean the instant streaming selection is bad? Is it that I’ve seen all the good movies available on instant streaming already? Wait, Aliens is available and I haven’t seen that yet. Why did I watch Wedding Daze instead of Aliens? Am I just bad at picking movies on instant streaming?

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On The Couch 2011 #6: Rambo: First Blood Part II

Like First Blood, now that I’ve seen Rambo, I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to see this movie. I loved it. I don’t know which I like better, First Blood or Rambo. Both First Blood and Rambo had a strong message about how we treat veterans, though First Blood handled it a little better. The action in Rambo was just unbelievable though. Both were great.

Who gets in a helicopter with John Kreese and expects it to go smoothly. Does John Kreese only wear sleeveless tops? IMDB says he was a good guy lawyer on Cagney & Lacey in t he 1980s. I never saw it, but I presume he showed up at court in suit with the sleeves ripped off.

“John Kreese don’t wear no jive sleeves. Uh, I mean, sweep the leg.”

In the special features, it’s mentioned that there was debate about Rambo and Co kissing right before she’s killed. I’m glad they went with the kiss. It definitely made for a bigger sense of loss when she was gunned down. It looked like Rambo was finally going to get a happy ending. That lasted a whole minute. I’m also glad they decided to drop the triple zoom on Rambo’s anguished scream when she dies. How did they possibly think that wasn’t going to come across as ridiculous?

I’m really excited to see Rambo III. I’ve been told there is a big quality dip between Rambo: First Blood Part II and Rambo III (which I always thought should have been named Rambo II: First Blood Part III), but that hasn’t soured my desire to see it.

Wasn’t there a Rambo cartoon series at one point? Or did I just imagine it? Was it any good?

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On The Couch 2011 #5: Wedding Daze

When I told a friend I watched Wedding Daze, the expression on his face was pained and sympathetic as he shook and head and said “No. No. No.”

Yeah, that about sums up Wedding Daze.

I really like Michael Ian Black, who wrote and directed Wedding Daze, but I can’t recommend this movie to anyone. It’s not very good at all and not that funny.

Funnier Michael Ian Black project.

The strangest parts of Wedding Daze are when Black throws in gross-out scenes that seem to come from nowhere, as if just to say “In case you forgot this is a Michael Ian Black picture, here you go.”

I watched Wedding Daze at the tail end of a marathon movie watching session on the couch and was in my own daze. I watched it right after finishing Suburbia and kept forgetting which characters were in each movie.

Funnier thing also written by Michael Ian Black.

Between Blue Crush and Wedding Daze, we have strong early contenders for Worst Movie On The Couch 2011. I really didn’t like Blue Crush at all, but I didn’t doze off a couple of time during Blue Crush either, so I may have to give the dubious distinction to Wedding Daze

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On The Couch 2011 #4: Suburbia

Watching Suburbia, I felt like I really knew these characters. I mean I felt like the characters were based on people I knew growing up in the suburbs of New York City in the mid-90s. The funny part is, if I saw this movie in the mid-90s, I would have seen this movie as extolling the magic of the lives of me and my friends, but watching it today, that’s definitely not the case.

Does a character doing spoken word performance art come across less annoying in the stage production? Because it’s hugely annoying on film. And in real life for that matter, in case any upcoming performance artists are reading this. At the same time, I felt like Sooze, more than any of the other characters, was plucked right from my particular suburb. I really feel like I knew this girl growing up. She was really annoying back then too.

Sooze, there is nothing about you that isn’t annoying.

Suburbia was alright, but not better than that. The best thing I can say about it is that it captured the depressing side of post-high school suburban life really well. I liked growing up in the ‘burbs, but it had its bad days, and Suburbia definitely captures one of them.

Final thought: Parker Posey is the brunette Elizabeth Banks.
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On The Couch 2011 #3: Blue Crush

I ran a half marathon on the morning of the day that I saw Blue Crush. This movie is a testament to what I will sit through instead of forcing my body to get up and find the remote control after I run a half marathon.

It’s really hard to express just how a bad a movie Blue Crush is.

Defenders of the movie will say “You don’t watch Blue Crush for the story. You watch it for the girls in bikinis.” Which girls? Kate Bosworth is the best looking of the trio and that really isn’t saying much. I’ve never found Michelle “DUI” Rodriguez attractive out of a bikini. It turns out nothing changes when you put her in one. And the third girl looks like one of the aliens that created the clone army in Star Wars Episode 2.

It’s hard to tell which one costarred in Blue Crush.

I totally missed that the younger sister was supposed to be 15. She looks like she’s 11. The scenes where older guys are hitting on her were disgusting when I thought she was 11, but still gross when I found out she was 15. Statutory rape isn’t cool any way you slice it.

Hawaii looks really nice in Blue Crush. But that’s no reason to watch this movie. If your goal is to forget about this cold winter by watching a movie set in a tropic locale, watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall instead. It’s funny, has cuter girls, and Paul Rudd is in it, which are three of many things lacking in Blue Crush.

Better movie.
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On The Couch 2011 #2: The Dutchess

Keira Knightley has it bad in The Duchess. She gets screwed over by everyone. Her mother, her husband, her best friend, if someone is talking to Keira Knightley in The Duchess, there’s a very large chance they will at one point screw her over and screw her over bad.

I get that writers are supposed to put their characters through hell to make their stories engaging, but can’t the Duchess catch a break? Wait, this is based on a true story? And it doesn’t end with the Duchess hanging herself? Talk about a strong woman. Watching The Duchess, I felt bad about complaining about the subway running local. Comparitively, I wasn’t having a bad a day after all.

Helena Bonham Carter wants her wig back.

Period pieces aren’t usually my thing, so I was surprised by how much I enjoyed The Duchess. I guess that’s a testament to putting your characters through hell, because seeing life take a dump on the Duchess did make for a remarkably watchable movie.

And that Keira Knightly is nothing but charming.
It’s funny I say that, because I actually said “Dammnnnn!” the first time Ralph Fiennes took his shirt off in The Duchess. Good God that Voldemort is jacked!

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On The Couch 2011 #1: Fanboys

It’s safe to say that I am the biggest Star Wars fan that a lot of my friends know. I quote lines from the movies. I was incredibly excited to find out that Hasbro was finally releasing the Rocket-Firing Boba Fett action figure. I went a midnight screening of Episode 3 and camped out for tickets to Episode 1.

The sight of childhood dreams realized.

But I’m nowhere near the biggest Star Wars fan that I know. I’ve read a lot of the books, but not even close to all of them. I don’t have any Star Wars tattoos. And I’ve never gone to a convention dressed as a Stormtrooper. The closest I’ve come to that was my Darth Hawaii Halloween costume.

No matter what your level of Star Wars fandom is though, if you’ve ever called yourself a Star Wars fan, you really need to watch Fanboys. It captures the anticipation that was in the lead up to the release of Episode 1 perfectly. The spring of 1999 felt like it was the start of a new golden age if you were a Star Wars fan. We were getting a new movie, the first in a decade and a half, and not only was it a new movie, it was the start of the long rumored, but never realized prequels.

Fanboys has an especially prescient Jar Jar Binks joke. I remember before Episode 1 came out, seeing a Jar Jar Binks action figure at a Philadelphia Wal-Mart and thinking that he was going to be the next Chewbacca. As wrong as I was, a character in Fanboys makes the same error, but on an exponentially worse scale.

Want a fun game to play during Fanboys? Try and spot all of Seth Rogen’s roles in the movie!
I’ve met the people in Fanboys. I know the people in Fanboys. No, not the actors. I know people who are just like the characters here. This movie isn’t as full of caricatures as people might think. It seems like a pretty accurate portrayal of the extreme side of Star Wars fandom.

I loved the little things that were thrown into Fanboys for the Star Wars fans watching the movie. It’s hard to find a scene in the movie that doesn’t have some kind of homage to Star Wars in it. And the trash compactor scene is priceless.