January 13, 2015 by Billy Henehan

Tuesday Night Comics Podcast Episode 54 – SHIELD #2, Star Wars Returns to Marvel!, God is Dead reviewed!

Star Wars week is here! In the new episode of the Tuesday Night Comics podcast, Billy and Dave preview new comics coming out on Wednesday, 1/14/15, and give you their picks on what comic books you need to buy if you only had $20 to spend at your local comic book shop. You might be surprised by what and what doesn’t make the cut for us this week.

Plus, reviews of what we read this week, including Jonathan Hickman’s God is Dead and Alan Moore’s Saga of the Swamp Thing vol 4.

Plus, listen to Billy make more mistakes when discussing the news than SNL’s Drunk Uncle!

Give it a listen! Happy Tuesday Night!

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January 7, 2015 by Billy Henehan

SHIELD #1 – Review

When I saw that Agents of SHIELD wasn’t returning to my TV until March, saying I was disappointed would have been an understatement. This season, Agents of SHIELD has been so good that I didn’t want to have to wait that long for the next new episode. Thankfully, Marvel has brought Team Coulson into the Marvel Universe in their new comic SHIELD. With the success of the Agents of SHIELD TV show, it shouldn’t be surprising that Marvel brought Coulson and his team to the main Maravel comic book universe, aka Marvel-616. The new comic launched on New Year’s Day. Marvel enlisted a very high quality creative team, signing on Mark Waid as the writer and Carlos Pacheco on art.

The comic focuses on the core of Coulson’s team from the Agents of SHIELD TV show: Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Leo Fitz and Jemma Simmons. There’s no sign of Grant Ward, which makes sense considering his status with the team since the end of season one. Also, none of the new team members from this season are here. I did think Mockingbird was the mystery lady on the plane, but that turned out to be a far more powerful character. I won’t spoil the reveal here, except to say it’s definitely not Mockingbird.

The walls between the nine realms (aka Asgard, Hel, etc – think Thor stuff) is fading, and gods and monsters are appearing all over the world. While the world’s major superheroes deal with the big bads, Coulson’s team is sent to the Middle East to find the cause of the problem. Once the cause of the problem is revealed, the identities of the new, mysterious field agents for this mission also are, and their being there goes to show what a great tactician Phil Coulson is.

Mark Waid writes an excellent Phil Coulson. The first few pages establish Coulson as a human encyclopedia for superhero knowledge. It almost feels like Waid is writing himself as Phil Coulson. Waid is the guy who has competed (and won) at superhero trivia at multiple comic cons. Because of this, he really seems like the perfect writer for this comic.

I’ve missed Carlos Pacheco’s art. He was one of my favorite artists of the 1990s, but he seemed to disappear sometime in the 2000s. I hope he stays on SHIELD for a while. If the rest of the series is similar to this first issue, Pacheco staying on the book means fans of his art will be able to see his take on some Marvel characters for the first time.

If I have any quibble with the comic, it’s when Coulson calls Fitz by his first name, Leo. It just seems to read so unnatural. I feel like he’s Fitz, not Leo. It only happened once, and during a moment of quiet downtime, but for some reason, it just jutted out at me as not being right. But who knows, maybe Coulson has called Fitz by his first name on the show and I just don’t remember it.

The second issue of SHIELD is coming out next Wednesday, January 14 and guest stars my favorite new character, Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel (which was one of my top comics of 2014). I will definitely be back for issue #2. If you’re a fan of Agents of SHIELD going to withdrawal, you should definitely pick up this comic.

January 6, 2015 by Billy Henehan

Tuesday Night Comics Podcast #53 – Our picks for new comic book day! What we learned from a year of podcasting! #shrinkantmansprice

Welcome to episode 53 of the Tuesday Comics Podcast, the first episode of our second year! Happy one year anniversary to us! To celebrate, we’re going to preview new comics coming out tomorrow, January 7, 2015, and give you our top picks, which may include both Lady Killer #1 and Ant-Man #1.

We also look back on our first year of podcasting about comics and talk about the lessons we’ve learned this past year as far as collecting comics in the 21st century is concerned. Plus, the guys review what they read this past week, including Mark Waid and Carlos Pacheco’s SHIELD #1.

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December 31, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Tuesday Night Comics Podcast Episode 52! Happy New Year! Miracleman! SHIELD!

Happy New Year everyone! It’s a shorter episode than normal this week, as there are very few comics coming out this week to preview. But some of the books coming out this week look great, like SHIELD #1 by Mark Waid and Carlos Pacheco and All-New Miracleman Annual #1 featuring a Grant Morrison Miracleman story decades in the making.

Plus, where’s Carlos Pacheco been? And do people feel embarrassed when they buy a Zenescope comic?

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December 11, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 10 – What They Become – Recap

The episode starts with the Quinjets surrounding the Bus departing with Ward, Skye and Raina. I guess the Hydra pilots didn’t get Agent 33’s message to shoot the Bus down? Or maybe we’re starting off a minute or two before the end of the last episode? May orders Trip to find some cloud cover. I think she knows what’s coming. One of the Koenigs wants to cloak, maybe they both do, they both dress alike and I can’t tell who is who. May shoots down that idea. Sorry, poor choice of words. The Quinjets are in pursuit as May takes the the Bus into a deep dive. She dumps some hot cargo and cloaks just as Hydra fires on them. Hydra thinks they’ve blown the plane out of the sky. Speaking of Skye, May tells Trip to take them to San Juan. Coulson needs to know about Ward taking Skye.

Outside of San Juan, Coulson and May’s teams reunite. Coulson’s #1 priority is preventing Hydra from accessing those crazy tunnels from last week. Rescusing Mac is sadly lower on the list. Bobbie isn’t happy about it, but she understand. One of the Koenigs is talking to Trip. They’re going over their new plan for the secret city. It involves collapsing itself on itself with some heavy explosives. As a bit of fan service, the Koenig tells Trip, “Dum Dum Dugan would be proud.” In the comics, Dum Dum Dugan is Nick Fury’s right hand man and one of the main Agents of SHIELD.

FitzSimmons are trying to figure out the city mysterious powers, and whether or not Mac is alive. It’s not looking good for Mac’s prospects, as he was infected by the city and kicked 100 feet down a hole. Fitz thinks the city was reacting in self-defense to Mac’s presence. They compare the city’s effect on Mac to zombie ants. For those of us not familiar with zombie ants, FitzSimmons explains it. Basically a fungus takes over the ant and the ant acts in the fungus’s interest instead of the ant’s.

Hunter walks in on Bobbie going through Mac’s things in his garage. Hunter doesn’t see her finger a thumb drive. Bobbie thinks Mac is dead, mainly because of the whole falling down the hundred foot hole thing. Good point, Bobbie. Hunter and Bobbie both really like Mac. Sorry Skye/Ward and FitzSimmons, but these two are becoming the cutest couple on the show. Bobbie gets a text from Diego, who you might remember from such roles as their contact in San Juan. She suggest Hunter be her back up when she rendezvouses with Diego. Hunter agrees to go, but calls her out on the thumb drive she just pocketed. He feels that when she hides things from him, he can’t trust her completely, but chooses to trust her anyway.

May and Coulson are going over the standoff with Ward on the Bus at the end of the last episode. May wishes she shot Ward in the head. Coulson counters that if she did, she, Skye and everyone else would have been shot out of the sky. Six agents are alive because of her actions; Coulson thinks she did the right thing.

Ward is leading a handcuffed Skye through a Hydra house. Ward reunites Skye and her dad, TV’s Kyle McLaughlin. Skye is shocked into silence. That would be my reaction too if I found out that guy who “Alrighty” proposed to Charlotte was my dad too. Kyle is the most awkward super powered psychotic father ever. He almost breaks down in tears. His name is Cal…or is it Kal?!? Wait, is he Superman?!? He thanks Skye for meeting with him. She points out that she was kidnapped at gunpoint.

Father Cal says to her, “I don’t know what you know about me.” Skye’s response is, “You’re a monster, a murderer. You leave a trail of death wherever you go.” And here I thought my family get-togethers could be awkward at times. Cal, quick tip, yelling every third word doesn’t break the tension…or make you look sane. Cal starts to tell Skye about himself and her mother, but just trails off. He says he wishes he could have taught her about the stars. I don’t think he means elementary school science. I think he’s talking about the Kree.

Hunter and Bobbie are about to meet up with Diego, when Bobbie pulls Hunter back and says, “This is bad. Diego is early and he’s wearing a suit.” When Hunter doesn’t understand what’s bad about that, Bobbie explains that Diego is never early and he never wears a suit. Two Hydra goons show up, shake Diego’s hand and all three of them walk directly in Bobbie and Hunter’s direction. Hunter and Bobbie can’t figure out if Diego is selling them out or selling Hydra out. To avoid the Hydra goons spotting them, Bobbie starts making out with Hunter. How does this work? WheneverI see people making out in public, they’re the least conspicuous people around. But the Hydra guys walk right on by and Diego slips Bobbie a note while she’s slipping Hunter her tongue. I was really hoping one of the Hyrdra guys would have paused, made a lewd gesture and told them to get a room.

Skye wants out. She opens the door, but there are two Hydra agents guarding it. Cal tells them not to be alarmed and shuts the door. He tells Skye that the Hydra agents don’t matter, and that after today, none of them will matter. Skye says they do matter, that he works for Whitehall and Hydra. They’re bad guys, she says, making him a bad guy. Cal goes a little bit crazy, saying he could never work for Whitehall. Cal, you really need to work on the going crazy while explaining things. It doesn’t help get your point across. He tells Skye that he used Whitehall to find her. Cal explains to Skye that her mother came from a line of gifted people (mutants? Haha, maybe is this was 1994, not 2014. That word verboten in Marvel Studios!). He brought Skye here so that she could receive her gift. He describes a transformation that she’s going to go through. Wait, is he talking about Terrigan Mists?!? He must be. In the comics, the Terrigan Mists are what give the Inhumans their powers. The mists affect each Inhuman differently, kind of like the way the x-gene expresses itself differently in each mutant. There I go using the m-word again. Sorry.

Skye interrupts Cal, wanting to know what happened to her mom. Cal tells her that people claiming to be SHIELD took her. Cal tracked them,but by the time he caught up with them, it was too late. Whitehall had cut her mom to pieces. Whitehall took her organs and blood and dumped her in a ditch. After Cal finishes, he apologizes and starts humming. This scene could not be any weirder. Skye recognizes the tune he’s humming. It’s the song Skye’s mom sang to her as a baby. A Hydra guy shows up saying that Whitehall wants Cal. Cal waves him off, so that he could finish humming. After the Hydra guy leaves, Cal says he’s off to kill Whitehall, and calls it the best day ever. Skye looks shocked. That’s fair. Shouldn’t her birth and the day he met her mom make the top 2. Killing Whitehall might be the third best day, if that.

Coulson’s team is on the bus, en route to San Juan. Trip asks Sam where Billy is. Sam says that the stress over fried Sam’s circuits and he’s recharging. Oh, an LMD joke! Trip doesn’t laugh. I do. Coulson tells Sam that he wants him and his brother Billy to head back to base. If things go south, he needs them to initiate the Theta Protocols. Going by the look on Sam’s face, this is some heavy stuff.

Bobbie calls with Hydra’s location. They’re practically on top of the city. This changes Coulson’s plans. He and May need to head out and back up Bobbie and Hunter now before Hydra can plasma drill their way to the secret city. Raina is overseeing the plasma drill. A Hydra guy gets her and brings her to Ward, Cal and Whitehall. Whitehall wants to know why Skye is here. He has a theory. Agent 33 pulls out the obelisk. Whitehall wants Skye to pick up the obelisk. She responds, “You first.” Guns are drawn. Cal nods at her. He has a scalpel in his hand with Whitehall’s name on it. Not really with Whitehall’s name on it. But I’m getting the feeling it will soon really have Whitehall’s blood on it. Skye picks up what Cal is putting down. She grabs the obelisk. It glows. She immediately dies.

Just kidding! It doesn’t do anything to her, it just lights up. She plunges it into the neck of a Hydra goon. He dies. For real, this time. Cal stabs another one. Ward draws his gun on other Hydra agents, but good guys are still outnumbered. Maybe good guys isn’t the best term with this crew. More like the team we’re rooting for is still outnumbered. Or the not-as-bad-as-Whitehall-and-Hydra guys are still outnumbered. The other Hydra goons and Agent 33 have their guns drawn on them. Whitehall approaches Skye and says, “I hope you’re as special as your mother.” So Whitehall knew who Cal was all this time? He was playing the guy playing him? Ooooo.

Whitehall is trying to figure out how Ward figures into all this here. Raina calls Ward out, saying that Ward loves Skye. A Hydra guy clocks Cal, knocking him out. They lead Skye and Ward away.

The Bus, still cloaked, lands on the roof of the building Skye is in. Bobbie and Hunter increase their cuteness quotient when it’s revealed that say to each other “Don’t die out there” before every mission, because as Hunter puts it, “Who doesn’t like to hear it?”

In the cave, Trip and FitzSimmons are all dressed in hazmat suits and are heading down into the hole with a bunch of detonators. Trip is ready to take out Mac if he’s still alive. Mac’s body isn’t at the bottom. That most likely means Mac is still alive, and probably still very zombie ant.

Ward wants to know why Agent 33 looks like May. I want to know if Ming-Na Wen get paid double for these Agent 33 episodes? Cal wakes up. He jumps at Whitehall, but Whitehall has placed some device on him that knocks Cal immobile. Whitehall wants to know what Skye’s gift is. Whitehall tells Call that he killed his wife, and before he kills him, will show Cal what he does to his daughter, you know, just to drive home that he’s the really bad guy here.

TripFitzSimmons (that’s their new name says I) are heading through corridors in the secret city. They get two detonators in place, and have two left. Fitz breaks off from the other two, because they don’t have time to not split up. This kind of thing never ends well. And Fitz doesn’t have the best track record with coming out of these kinds of things unscathed.

Ward gets into the head of the Hydra agent who is guarding him. He distracts him long enough for Cal to break the agent’s neck. Cal heads off to kill Whitehall, leaving Ward and Skye still tied up. When Cal finds Whitehall, Whitehall smiles and raises a gun. Coulson appears and shoots Whitehall in the back. Cal is pissed. Coulson tells him, “You’re welcome?” Coulson you better run, Cal is really pissed!

Whitehall is dead. Cal is yelling at Coulson, that Coulson had no right to kill Whitehall, Whitehall was his! Coulson says Cal is next if he moves. He’s not letting Cal take Skye into those tunnels to trigger whatever armageddon Cal thinks will happen. Cal steps towards Coulson, but before Coulson can shoot him, Agent 33 is shooting both of them. They run off, leaving 33 with Whitehall’s body.

Cal assaults Coulson. Coulson tries calming Cal down saying, “We both want to help your daughter.” Cal says she doesn’t need Coulson and proceeds to pummel him.

Ward frees himself and frees Skye. He’s rewarded by Skye shooting him a bunch of times in the gut.

The Cal vs. Coulson fight is decidedly one sided. Coulson is being beaten to death. Skye stops Cal from killing him by drawing a gun on Cal. She’s not going down the tunnel. And Ca’s leaving, or she’s going to kill him. He agrees to leave, but tells her that after she changes, no one else will understand but him. He calls her Daisy! Daisy! Oh man! Skye is really Daisy Johnson aka Quake! This is huge. Skye tells Coulson she’s going to stop the drill and find the obelisk.

A little on Daisy Johnson. In the comics, she’s a protege of Nick Fury. Her father in the comics, is the villainous Mr. Hyde. Hmm, this is explaining Kyle MacLachlan’s portrayal of his character much better. You might have guessed her powers by her code name Quake. She has the power to cause seismic shifts and earthquakes.

Agent 33 finds Ward. With Whitehall dead, her whole world is shattered. She’s afraid. She doesn’t know what to do. Ward convinces her to help him up, and that he’ll get her out of there. Coming next January, Ward and not Not-May on the road together, living the outlaw life!

Bobbie, Hunter and May kill more Hydra goons.

Skye finds the tunnel entrance. The obelisk is nowhere to to be found. That’s because Raina took it. She’s already down the tunnel. Raina comes across zombie ant Mac. He’s standing still. She tells him, “Take me there.” He leads her forward. Mac’s eyes are completely glazed over.

Coulson and May get to the hole. Where’s Skye? Coulson wants to follow her down. May points out all the bombs their team planted. Coulson isn’t leaving Skye. He tells May that her job is get everyone out if he and Skye aren’t back in time before the bombs go off.

TripFitzSimmons emerge from their hole. May tells them at that Skye and Coulson are down below. Tripp heads back down the hole sans hazmat suit. Trip, what the hell man? Don’t zombie ant yourself!

Mac takes Raina a room with a stone pillar bathed in light. Trip is running Indiana Jones style, not transformed into a zombie ant man like Mac. Trip defuses a bomb. Coulson and Skye are running around too, though not together. May tells Bobbie and Hunter to clear this place. Skye finds Mac. She tries to get him to respond. He’s catatonic. Aw man, I like Mac. Skye finds the room with the pillar. Raina is singing. I think she’s singing Cal’s song. How does she know that? She’s about to put the obelisk down on the pillar. Trip defuses the third bomb. Skye finds Raina. They have a weird Mexican standoff, Skye with a gun, Raina with the obelisk. The obelisk glows and floats from Raina’s hand on its own to the pillar. Trip defuses the last bomb just in time. The walls close in and Raina and Skye are trapped with the obelisk. Mac attacks Coulson, who gets the better of him. Hypno-Mac isn’t the fastest. Trip makes it into the room just as the walls close. Coulson arrives just too late. The obelisk opens. There are crystals inside it, wait is this Superman? Are we in the Fortress of Solitude? I mean, dude named Kal, alien crystals…

Mac has found Coulson. Coulson is not having a good day; he’s about to get beat again. In the room, the crystals glow and Skye, Trip and Raina are all bathed in smoke…or mist, Terrigan Mist! As soon as that happens, Mac drops to his knees. Skye and Raina are both covered in this weird black gel. Tip roundhouse kicks the crystals. They shatter in a wave of more smoke. Skye and Raina look like the victims of Pompeii. Trip screams “No!” Then the black gel starts to cover Trip. Skye starts to crack, or rather the casing around her does. As does Raina’s . Raina looks like she might have porcupine quills on her face now and orange eyes. The covering explodes off Skye. Hello, Quake! She causes a minor cave in with this new earthquake power. Wait,not minor. The whole place is coming down, even the house above the hole. Trip’s casing cracks. No, wait, Trip cracks. He falls apart. Trip is dead!!!!!! No!!!!!!

Someplace else, in some house, a box lights up. A man pulls out another obelisk! He makes a call. “Are you seeing this? There is someone new. Tell the others I’m on it.” The camera pulls back to reveal the man’s face. He has no eyes…or eye sockets even. Ahhhhh!

Agents of SHIELD isn’t back until January. Hopefully that’s enough time to process Trip’s death. Man, I can’t believe Trip is dead. I’m bummed. 🙁

December 7, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Holiday Gift Guide 2014

Finding the right gift for your friends and family can be arduous. Fortunately, Tuesday Night Movies is here with picks sure to please the lovers of pop culture in your life!

Two classic TV series have recently received the deluxe home video treatment. Both are available on a per season basis, but it’s the full series sets of these series that really deliver. If you know a fan of either of these series, these sets would make the perfect gift.

The first is the Batman: The Complete Television Series. For years, it looked like this TV series would never see a home release because of legal reasons. Fans of the Adam West Batman series were left with the choice of taping the series off TV Land broadcasts or buying from bootleggers (who taped the series from TV Land). This fall, Warner Brothers released a gorgeous remastering of the 1960s Batman TV series. This show has never looked as good as it does in this set. The colors really pop on a HD TV. The set includes all three seasons of the Batman TV series on Blu Ray, a digital download of the entire series, a 32 page episode guide, an Adam West scrapbook, a set of 44 Batman trading cards featuring characters and iconic moments from the show, and a Hot Wheels Batmobile. The box even plays part of the Batman TV series theme song!

The second is The Wonder Years: The Complete Series. Like the Batman series, this was a TV series whose home release was mired in legal red tape. Part of what made The Wonder Years so iconic was its inclusion of classic 60s songs. Unfortunately, it was much easier to license the rights to those songs when the show was first produced than it is today, making the chance of a proper home release very unlikely. Luckily for fans of this show, StarVista/Time Life managed to do the unthinkable, and get the licenses for the all the songs in the original series, including the iconic Joe Cocker cover of A Little Help From My Friends. The set even comes packaged in a metal Kennedy Jr. High school locker!

If you’re looking for TV shows a little more recent, look no further than Agents of SHIELD and Game of Thrones (both of which happen to be recapped on a regular basis on this site). Season one of Agents of SHIELD is available on both Blu Ray and DVD, and both sets are packed with bonus features. Seasons one, two and three of Game of Thrones are already on Blu Ray and DVD, and the fourth season is on its way to home release in early February. I’m sure any Game of Thrones fan, whether they pledge to House Stark or House Lannister, would be happy to receive a note this holiday season saying that they will be receiving the fourth season at their house as soon as its released.

Three of the best reviewed movies on Tuesday Night Movies were released early enough in 2014 to be out on DVD and Blu Ray in time for the holidays.

The first, and possibly one of the most unexpected great movies of the year, is The Lego Movie. As you may be able to tell in my review, I LOVED this movie. I highly recommend buying this movie as a gift for a loved one, whether it’s for a child or an adult. This movie proves that you can make an all-ages movie that can be enjoyed by moviegoers of all ages.

Battling The Lego Movie for the best movie I saw in the first few months of 2014 is The Grand Budapest Hotel. If you have a friend who has enjoyed any of Wes Anderson’s other movies, this movie is a must-buy and a lay up of a gift if there ever was one. I’d also suggest even buying this for any of your friends who lack social graces. Ralph Fienes writes the book on charm in this movie. Your friend might learn something.

2014 saw the release of two of the best, if not the two best, Marvel movies: Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy. Both are awesome. Both are available on Blu Ray. These movies both have high crossover appeal; they’re not just for your friends who read comics. If you know someone who loves James Bond, they will probably really enjoy Captain America: The Winter Soldier. And anyone who appreciates a few laughs mixed in with their butt kicking action will surely love Guardians of the Galaxy.

Your friend already owns Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy on Blu Ray? In that case, I suggest buying said friend the comics that inspired the movies. The comic book story that inspired Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a must read for any fan of the movie. Writer Ed Brubaker proves himself to a master of writing espionage, and the art by Steve Epting is absolutely gorgeous. The Guardians of the Galaxy movie drew its inspiration from the Guardians of the Galaxy comic book series penned by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning. If you left the theater saying “I AM GROOT,” you have Abnett and Landing to thank. #yourewelcome

At the end of the day, no Groot fan’s desk is complete without a Groot bobblehead from Funko Pop Vinyl. Groot is available in both full size and dancing baby versions. The Groot fan in your life no doubt needs both.

If you listen to the Tuesday Night Comics podcast, then you know that I am a BIG fan of Michel Fiffe’s Copra. The original issues are very hard to come by in the secondary market, but Michel recently released Copra Round One from Bergen Street Comics Press. Copra Round One collects Copra issues 1-6, and gets you in on the ground floor of this ground breaking series. If you are interested in the recently announced Suicide Squad movie, I would suggest skipping the Suicide Squad DC comic currently being published and pick up Copra Round One instead. The series is Fiffe’s love letter to The Suicide Squad, Doctor Strange and Shade: The Changing Man.

If you know a Neil Gaiman fan, there is a distinct possibility that they may have missed out on reading Hayley Campbell’s excellent biography of Gaiman, The Art of Neil Gaiman, which was released earlier this year. Don’t be fooled by the title and the size of the book. This isn’t an art book in the traditional sense. Instead, it shows off Gaiman’s art: his writing. This book covers Gaiman’s entire writing career, from his early days as a journalist to becoming one of the most respected writers of novels and comic books. This book is a must read for any fan of Gaiman’s Sandman series. He gave Ms. Campbell access to his writing journals and notes. The Art of Neil Gaiman provides outlines, early script pages, notes on hotel napkins. There’s enough in here to keep any Gaiman fan occupied for many many hours.

December 7, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 9 – Ye Who Enter Here – Recap

When the episode opens, Skye is in a white flower-print dress running barefoot running down a hall. It’s the dreaming? It kind of looks like she is. She’s yelling for Coulson. She can’t find anyone. She turns when she hears some chimes. This is one freaky dream. Coulson is now with her, staring at at a box. It’s a music box. Coulson and May are holding a baby. They’re dressed like suburbanites. May says “Sacrifices have to be made. Poison tree, poisoned fruit.” They leave the baby. The music box is the obelisk. When Skye touches it, it withers her.

She wakes up int he bus, freaked out. The team has arrived at its destination.

Mac is controlling a remote control Lucy (Coulson’s car, not Lucille Ball). He runs it into Fitz, who is impressed with the detail Mac put into this remote control car. He asks if it flies (it doesn’t). Mac is looking at Bobbie and Hunter being all chummy. Mac says a storm’s coming. Fitz takes him literally, and says he doesn’t think that’s in the forecast. Fitz was looking for Mac for a reason. He wants Mac to be a go between for him and Simmons. Mac suggests talking to her directly. Fitz blows Mac off.

Simmons is bandaging up Trip, who is shirtless. Um, his eyes are up here, Simmons. Skye walks in just as Trip calls Skye’s dad nutty. Classic Trip…

Coulson briefs his team. They basically walk through Hydra’s plans from the past few episodes and why they have to reach the temple in the secret city before Hydra does. There’s a LOT of exposition. I guess it’s handy if you’re someone who is just coming back to SHIELD after weeks of your friends telling you how good it is right now and you need to catch up.

Trip asks if the secret city related to the Bermuda Triangle. Coulson says they figured out the Bermuda Triangle back in the 80s. They’re headed to Puerto Rico.

In Vancouver, Raina is in a cafe with some white haired dude who is not Daniel Whitehall. New boyfriend? May is at the cafe too. Raina confronts her. Wait a second, it’s not May. It’s some severely facially bruised lady who is working for Whitehall. Raina bolts. Koenig spots her and tells her which way to go. Oh wow, there are lots of Koenig brothers around here, as another one of the Koenig clan grabs Raina. He envelops her in a cloaking umbrella. I want one of those. Raina is getting recruited by SHIELD!

Coulson is filled in by Billy Koenig (Sam is the other Koenig). They need an extraction team to get Raina out of Vancouver. Agent 33 is stuck looking like a bruised May ever since May electrocuted her while she wearing that digital May mask. So…the mask is stuck to her? Part of her now?

May and Skye watch a news story on Christian’s Ward’s death. They both know Ward did it. Skye wants to take him down.

Coulson is splitting up the team. May is headed to Vancouver to grab Raina. Bobbie, Mac and FitzSimmons are coming with Coulson. Coulson doesn’t want Skye anywhere near her Loony Toons dad.

Bobbie asks Simmons how long she and Fitz were a thing. Simmons denies it, poorly. Simmons says she’s been freaked ever since Fitz said she loved her, saved her life and went into a coma. Simmons said she never thought of him as anything more than a friend. Bobbie gives her some love advice that could have easily come from Tyra on Friday Night Lights. She could have been talking about Riggins as much as she was talking about Hunter.

Speaking of Hunter, Bobbie tells him, “Don’t die out there.” Hunter’s response? “It’s Canada.” HA!

Mac asks Bobbie if she “brought Hunter in on that other thing.” She says she didn’t. Wait, what other thing??? Are Mac and Bobbie double agents? Triple agents?

One of the Koenigs is walking down a street in Vancouver. A bald dude in a suit follows him. Hunter takes the bald bad guy down and walks off with the Koenig brother, who turns out to be Sam (“Billy is the shorter one”). May takes out two more agents. Billy and Raina are in a hideaway. Skye meets up with them. He tells her, “I’m Billy. Sam is the shorter one” Agent 33, aka Not-May, ambushes them. Wow, Skye has become a really good fighter. Seriously, when did Skye become such a skilled fighter? She’s almost May-like. Agent 33 eventually get the better of her. Luckily for Skye, Hunter drops Agent 33 before she can shoot Skye in the face. Hunter’s reaction to her looking like May “And I thought the Koenigs were creepy.” Hunter has the best lines this episode!

In San Juan, Bobbie and Coulson pull up in a jeep. They walk through a market. Coulson tries on a fedora. Bobbie is wondering why Coulson is so unfazed by the prospect of blowing up an underground city located under the streets of San Juan. She wants to make sure they’re there to destroy any weapons in the underground city, not recover them. Coulson gives a speech. His number of acceptable losses is zero. No one is dying on his watch here.

Simmons and Fitz have it out. Fitz is going to leave the lab so that Simmons can run the science division. He’s going to the garage on the bus to work with Mac. Don’t break up FitzSimmons! Fitz says he can work for her, but not with her. Ugh, you’re killing us, Fitz! Simmons just kind of nods her head and stares at the wall as Fitz leaves the room.

Bobbie and Coulson walking around San Juan makes me really want to visit San Juan. Wow, it is just beautiful.

Skye is guarding Raina. Raina realizes Hydra doesn’t want to kill her, they need her because Raina can hold the diviner. Raina tells Skye that she thinks Skye would live if she touched it too. Raina tries to hail the Hydra goons, but a Koenig runs down the Hydra guys in his van. Hunter and May pull Skye and Raina in the van.

Agent 33 calls Whitehall. They failed to abduct Raina, but Raina does have a tracker on her. Whitehall says he’ll get his best man on it.

Koenig is talking to Trip and says it must be weird for May seeing someone with her face. And then the other Koenig walks in. I love this episode. Trip asks how many Koenig brothers there are. They say 13 in unison. Trip flips. It’s just a joke, Trip…I think.

May tells Coulson that Raina says she can touch the obelisk without being harmed. In San Juan, Bobbie’s contact is afraid of the secret city and won’t join them. Coulson, Mac, FitzSimmons and Bobbie head down there. It looks like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade down there. Fitz sends some drones down a big hole to survey the tunnel. Simmons is finishing his sentences He doesn’t seem to mind that much. Uh oh, the drones just failed.

Raina gets her very own SHIELD lanyard. She and Skye talk over tea on the Bus. Raina tells Skye that her dad delivered her. Skye counters that he’s a murderer and almost killed her friend, Trip. Skye does want to understand her dad though. Raina tells Skye about how she first met him in Thailand. She was a con artist. Skye’s dad took her in. During the story, Raina calls the aliens the Kree! Raina names the Kree! Eeeee! This is huge! SHIELD really has become the stealthy background of building the biggest movies!

Raina is in Skye’s head. Skye wants to call Coulson and the team back to the Bus, but there’s no signal. Whitehall hails them. He’s jamming them. He wants Raina. Hand her over or be shot down. The bus is surrounded by Hydra Quinjets.

Mac hits the bottom of the tunnel. When Mac touches the ground, the symbols from the obelisk appear there, and then on his hand. He’s in pain, like “shoot me now” kind of pain. Oh man, I like Mac! Don’t kill him!

Coulson and company pull Mac out. He’s having a heart attack or something. Then he’s fine. Now, he’s not. His eyes are red. Mac says, “Run” and then proceeds to super-punch Coulson across the room. Ruh roh.

Ward leads in some Hydra goons onto the bus. Hey, a reunion! Skye tells Ward to pick a side. He ignores her and tells Raina, “Let’s go.” Raina is cool with leaving. But then Ward announces that he wants Skye too.

Bobbie fighting Mac is like Rey Mysterio fighting the Rock or Big Show. Fitz zaps Mac with an electroshock before she has the chance to crush Bobbie’s larynx…but it has no effect.

Back at the Mexican standoff on the Bus, guns are drawn and Ward tells Skye that if she comes, no one dies. A Koenig points out that Ward killed his brother. But Skye agrees to go.

Coulson pulls Mac off Bobbie. Simmons is almost thrown down into the pit. Coulson saves her. Fitz is about to shoot Mac, but tries talking him down. Bobbie electrocutes him. He falls down into the tunnel. Coulson tells her to seal the tunnel. She’s stunned, but Coulson yells, “That’s not Mack!” So much for zero acceptable losses.

Agent 33 gets in Whitehall’s car. She tells him Ward has Raina, however there was a complication, he also took Skye. Whitehall okay with it, noting that at least Ward shot the SHIELD plane down. Agent 33 basically says, “Yeah…he didn’t.” Whitehall gives the command, which Agent 33 relays to some Hydra guys: shoot down the plane. Her robotic voice really freaks me out.

And that’s it! Oh man, we only have one more episode before the mid-season break! Expect excitement next week!

December 3, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.

The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection.

Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching.

Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.

The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on it. Hunter and Mac watch her chip away at Bakshi. Seeing Adrianne Palicki kick ass on this show makes me really wish that her Wonder Woman pilot was picked up. I’m not complaining too much though, because she completely rocks as a SHIELD agent. Mac is worried about Coulson, and expresses it to Hunter. Mac definitely doesn’t have full faith in Coulson after seeing how crazy Coulson was acting while he was strapped into that memory machine. Simmons joins them. Simmons does not like Bakshi at all. Bobbie suggests to Bakshi that he’s been brainwashed by Whitehall. Bakshi doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t not believe her either.

Christian is on the phone, first with his wife and then his mistress as he pulls up to his family’s house in the woods. You guys, Christian cheats on his wife. That’s how you know he’s badder than he lets on. Ward throws one of Christians guards through Christian’s window to get his brother’s attention. It works.

Coulson’s team land in Oahu. He gives his team some fun assignments when they land in Hawaii. He tells Skye to bring this watch to a guy to get inscribed “Dearest Darren, I count the seconds that we’re apart. Love, Your Island Flower.” He warns her that if the watch starts to leak, drop it and run. He gives Trip a button and dry cleaning ticket. He warns Trip not to put the button in his pocket if he wants kids, and to come back with the blue tie. Ooooh, we are in full secret agent mode! Fitz wants to know what Coulson wants of him. Coulson needs Fitz to install some equipment in the field, under pressure in under 6 minutes. He wants Fitz to practice until he gets it right. I wonder if Coulson actually needs this installed or if he’s just helping Fitz through busywork.

Bobbie is twiddling her escrima sticks. Hunter asks what’s wrong. She says she’s got Bakshi figured out, but can’t figure out what’s the deal is with Whitehall. Simmons finds some files made by Agent Carter (coming soon to ABC)! May pulls out the key to Vault B from a secret cubbyhole. Agent Carter left it there. Oh, SHIELD base…so many secret cubbyholes.

Cut to the past…Agent Carter time! Carter is interrogating Werner Reinhardt, aka Daniel Whitehall. Reinhardt wants a deal. Carter isn’t going for it. She thinks he’s a monster. He claims he’s the only one who can explain all the items Carter has taken from him. Whitehall talks about “A city in the east. Blue angels bearing a gift for all mankind.” Whitehall tells her these visitors came to conquer the world. Guys, I’m like 99% sure he’s talking about the Kree here, and that the secret city is Attilan. Now, if you’re a Marvel Comics reader, you’re probably thinking the exact same thing, but for those of you who don’t read the comics, the Kree are an alien race who have come to Earth numerous times and experimented on humans. Their most famous experiments are the Inhumans, a super powered Kree created offshoot of humanity.

In the present, Kyle tells Whitehall, it’s not conquer, it’s end. End mankind. Except for a chosen few, chosen by the diviner, aka the obelisk. Kyle says he can get Whitehall into the temple that the diviner opens. Whitehall is afraid of a double cross, but Kyle doesn’t want the power for himself, he only wants revenge on who killed his wife, and to be reunited with this family in the afterlife. Kyle is seriously coo coo.

Ward is leading a handcuffed Christian into the woods. Christian tries to convince Ward that Ward is free because of him. Ward picks up a shovel. He want Christian to dig up the well from their youth. Ward explains that their parents didn’t fill in the well; they just covered it up.

At the Bus, Fitz is working. He gets it done 11:23. Not fast enough. Again! Fitz thinks Coulson is just testing him. Me too, Fitz, me too. Trip puts it into perspective by mentioning that Coulson just had him deliver a button to a 300 pound Hawaiian man. Fair enough. Coulson moves in mysterious ways.

At the base, Hunter finds the Reinhardt file. After seeing Reinhardt’s photo, Simmons realizes that REINHARDT is WHITEHALL! Dun! Dun! Dun! Oh wait, we knew that. The characters are just catching up to us. May verifies it by pulling up Reinhardt’s photo as an old man, a life prisoner at the Rat. Somehow he’s turned back the clock.

In the past, Carter turns down Whitehall. She tells him she’s burying him here, in the Rat. Reinhardt is locked up for a long time. Strangely, they give him access to different books over the years, and a chess set. The chess set is less surprising, but why give the Nazi scientist reading material? If I’ve got a Nazi prisoner, he’s getting one back issue of TV Guide that already had the crossword puzzle done and that’s it. 44 years later, Reinhardt is an old man. Undersecretary Pierce (Hail Hydra) has him freed. The agent freeing him says “Hail Hydra.” He tells Reinhardt that after all these years, they found the woman, she’s still alive. I have a feeling it’s the lady from earlier…and also Skye’s mom. Hey look, I’m right…on the first part at least. She’s as young as she was in 1945. They’re now in Austria in 1989. Strangely, the suits don’t have giant shoulder pads.

Reinhardt is excited. He’s going to cut her open. She, understandably, freaks out.

Simmons says there are no records for Reinhardt post-1989. Hunter gives Reinhardt’s file to Bobbie. She asks Bakshi if his devotion to Whitehall is based on fear or respect. Bakshi plays to the closed circuit camera, mentioning how quickly Bobbie ingratiated herself into Hydra, trying to get her SHIELD teammates to turn on her. Bobbie realizes Bakshi is afraid of disappointing Whitehall. She says they’ll tell Whitehall that Bakshi gave them everything on Whitehall, everything in the Reinhardt file. Bakshi tenses. Baksi slams his head onto the table as hard as he can to dislodge a cyanide capsule in his cheekbone. Sneaky sneaky Bakshi.

Ward wants Christian to admit that he made Ward push Thomas (the third Ward brother) down the well. Christian tells him he’s wrong. Ward says he isn’t falling for it. This whole family is nuts. Christian manages to sucker-hit Ward with the shovel. Ward drags him back and pulls the wooden cover off the well. He hangs Christian over the well. Seriously, nutty family. Ward is about to throw him in and Christian admits it was him, he wanted Thomas dead. “Thomas was the only one mom didn’t torture.” What. The Fuck. He tearfully apologizes to Grant, who gives him no emotion back. Grant helps him to his feet and hugs him, tears up a little and then to everyone’s surprise, walks off with his brother arm in arm. I really thought Christian was going in the well.

Coulson’s team is in Australia. They’re in Australia and not Hawaii because of an overly complicated bit about the software they need to map the Earth to find the secret city is in a Hawaii base being too heavily guarded, but the button and watch introduced a Trojon Horse that will knock out the Hawaiian feed, bringing the Australian one online. This makes sense only when Coulson explains it. Sorry. Fitz has the transceiver down to 7:28. That’s still not good enough. Fitz believes in himself though and is confident he’ll nail it in the field.

They hit the base. It’s empty. Their radios are jammed. They’re ambushed!! The crew is tied up. Is this Hydra? It looks like Hydra. The servers are coming online as the shootout is underway. Coulson brings the crew to safety. Trip takes out some Hydra while Fitz gets to work. Trip is shot. It misses his vest. He’s going to bleed out. Kyle rushes in and offers to help. “I’m a doctor.” Whhhhhaaaat?

He’s not kidding about helping. He pulls out his medical supplies and works on pulling out the bullet from Trip. Phil is shocked that Kyle knows his name. Coulson draws his gun on him. Kyle tells them that if he lets go of the clamp, Trip dies. Kyle takes their guns, and gets back to work.

Kyle tells Phil he knows what’s inside the secret city. Phil asks if whatever it is inside has tesseract level power. Kyle says “Sure…I don’t know what that is.” Ha, best line of the night! Kyle then goes on a weirdo rant, and gets really angry when Phil refers to his daughter as Skye. He tells Phil how to save Trip and bounces. Fitz gets to work on the transceiver while Coulson works on saving Trip. Trip is going to make it. Yay. I like Trip.

Whitehall is meeting with….??? We see a flashback of him operating on Skye’s mom. They vivisect her. By the end, she’s dead, and he injects himself with her blood, making him young again. Oh, he’s taking to Ward. Interesting. He offers Ward a second chance. Wow, Ward killed Christian and his own parents! And made a recording of Christian’s confession by the well to make it look like a murder suicide. Oh Ward…

Bakshi is alive, just barely. Hunter accuses Bobbie of pushing Bakshi too hard because he was about to reveal her Hydra secrets. They argue. Bobbie basically says that he’s the one person she doesn’t lie too. Then they’re undressing and getting int he back of a SHIELD van. If the SHIELD van is a knocking…

Skye and Coulson are searching for the city. Skye tells Coulson, you’re acting like you saw the devil out there. Before he can respond, the computer has found the city! Oh boy!

Speaking of the devil, Kyle is meeting with Whitehall and Ward. Whitehall is teaming them up. When Kyle hears that Ward was on Coulson’s team, he perks up. He tells Ward it’s always good to look your enemy right in the eye…and then looks right at Whitehall.

Cut to 25 years ago. Kyle has found the lady’s dead body. It’s definitely Skye’s mom. He vows to kill her killer. Hey Kyle, it’s Whitehall. Oh wait, by now you know that.

December 2, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Agents of SHIELD -Season 2, Episode 7 – The Writing on the Wall – Recap

We open on scenic Rhinebeck, NY. A brownstone. Nay, a scenic brownstone. A giddy couple walks in. Hey, the guy is the tattooed dude from the end of last week’s episode…and his girllfriend? Nope, just some girl he picked up at the bar. Go on, player. It’s her place. She pours some wine. She knows him from somewhere but can’t figure out how. “I do some carving every now and then.” What kind of answer is that? She seems ready to marry this dude after just meeting him. Watch that aggression girl; you’re just going to drive him off. He shows her his tattoo. Then he pulls out a knife. Lesson learned: don’t bring strange men home from bars. When he shows her his tattoos, she recognizes the shapes. Huh. Interesting.

Back at his secret SHIELD base, Coulson is listening to hot jazz and carving in the wall. Actually, I’m not sure if the jazz is hot. It definitely is uptempo. What makes jazz hot? Skye’s not a jazz fan, hot or otherwise. Skye and May are tagteaming watching Coulson as he carves. It’s Skye’s turn. I know Skye said the carvings form a map, but it looks like a decision tree to me. Coulson is carving more and more. He’s not in control of it. He can’t sleep. It’s just carve, carve, carve. It’s definitely taking a toll on him.

May is hunting Ward. She’s airborne. Ward is in Philly. Trip spotted him. They’re in the bus terminal. Ward takes a bag full of passports, phone and cash from a locker. If Hollywood would have you believe anything, it’s that almost every bus station locker is a vault of hidden treasure and homeless mens’ underwear. Coulson orders Trip to bring Ward in by any means necessary. One problem: Ward’s already made Trip and flashes the C4 strapped to his waist. They’re going to keep their distance and follow the bus.

One of Skye’s hacker pals found something. It’s the dead body of Tattooed Guy’s girl. He carved into her body. She’s a SHIELD agent. Well, she was a SHIELD agent. Huh. Janice Robbins. Art teacher by day, SHIELD agent by night. Well, dead SHIED agent by night.

Coulson and Skye sneak into Jancie’s apartment like they’re on Dr. House’s team looking for clues. Skye doesn’t buy that this lady was an agent. She says this lady and Coulson have nothing in common, until they go into her studio. It’s filled with paintings of the carvings. Dun dun dun!

agents of shield the writing on the wall symbol paintings

Coulson lays out all the paintings. There is a lot of overlap with what he was carving. She was Agent Rebecca Stevens, Level 6 SHIELD agent at the Trisklellion…except she died 5 years ago of cancer. Dun dun dun!

Mac and Fitz retrieve Stevens’s body by walking into the morgue and grabbing it. They basically used the “walk in and act like you own the place approach.” Apparently it works in morgues just as well as it does weddings and private dinner parties. Good to know…I guess. Simmons does the autopsy. Side note: I’m so happy Simmons is back.

agents of shield the writing on the wall ward on a bus

Bobbie is at the next buys stop, which is Atlanta. Ward offers to help a mom and her kid with their bags. They’re both on his bus to Dallas. Ward doesn’t sit with them, but does sit with Bobbie in the back of the bus. She gets flirty with him. Ward makes her immediately. She plays the denial game well until he pulls out his deadman switch and threaten to blow the bus if she tries anything. Ward jumps on the bus to Boston. He doesn’t spot Hunter in Garth Brooks hat. Ha, take that Ward.

Simmons talks about the murder. It’s grisly. There was GH325 in Stevens’s blood, and it was in the killer’s as well. Coulson denies suffering from hypographia, which is the need to write incessantly. Coulson opens up a secret chamber. He wants Skye and Simmons to torture the secrets of the serum out of him…huh…wha? Simmons straps an iPhone to Coulson’s chest and plugs him into the memory machine from last season. For those of you who missed the tail end of last season, the machine helps Coulson retrieve his memories. Mac is there to hold Coulson down while he’s using the machine. It’s not a pleasant experience, this memory machine.

Coulson remembers….he’s at the guest house, in the interview room. He’s alone. In front of him is Stevens’s file folder. She appears before him. This is some Twin Peaks type shit. She’s post-TAHITI. She feels great. Whoa, there were others, including the Tattooed Guy. They all say they fell great. There are six TAHITI test subjects altogether. He recommends the immediate release of all 6 patients. And then Stevens starts maniacally carving. They’re all going crazy in front of him….except the Tattooed Guy. He’s normal. If I know anything, the most normal looking guy is always the craziest…oh right, we already saw him carve up a woman earlier this episode. Coulson wants to shut down the program and destroy the dead alien. The dead alien is thousands of years old. The doctor in charge doesn’t want to stop. She thinks the alien host is inserting memories in them. She suggests wiping all their memories, saying that the subjects will be able to live normal lives. Tattooed Guy gets the Coulson brain surgery.

Up in Boston, and back in the present, Ward stop by pub. The bartender offers him a columbian necktie or a bullet in the head. Ward chooses a bullet in the head on the rocks. It surprisingly does not involve Bulliet Bourbon. Bakshi and some Hydra agents show up. They’re there for Ward. So this is a Hydra bar? Ward says, “Since Strucker is overseas, I assume you report to someone else.” For those of you who don’t know, Baron Von Strucker is a classic Nick Fury and SHIELD villain. He’s one of bad guys in the comics most associated with Hydra. AND, he’s the guy who had Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver held captive at the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Ward tells Bakshi that he will kill Coulson if Bakshi introduce him to Whitehall.

Two of the six TAHITI patients are still alive.

In Coulson’s mind, we find out that Tattooed Guy was carving into himself when he was locked up. Coulson imagines Tattooed Guy becoming Coulson. Coulson is losing it. They finally pull Coulson out. He’s screaming “I need to know.” Me too, Phil. Me too.

May is pissed that Coulson went int he machine. Coulson is a maniac. Skye pulls a gun on him after he shoves Simmons. May wants Coulson locked up. Coulson agreees. Skye takes Coulson down to Ward’s old cell, but Coulson gets the drop on her, throws her in the cell and runs out. Oh Skye…

The other alive TAHITI guy is living in the burbs. He has made a very elaborate train set for his son in his basement. It is awesome, and I’m guessing looks like the symbols when seen from above. His wife says he has a visitor. Uh oh.

Mac and Fitz are plaing some first person shooters. Mac wants Fitz to play to help Fitz’s hand-eye coordination. Fitz says brains don’t delete files, just connections. This means that good ol’ Fitz is somewhere in there! Hook him up to Coulson’s memory machine! Wait, don’t do that.

Apparently the guys didn’t notice that Skye is on the video monitor waving to them from the jail.

Back in the burbs, the guy at the door is Coulson. Coulson pulls a gun on the dude. Oh, Coulson, that’s not how you make a first impression. When asked, the guy says he’s never seen the symbols. He says’ I told you both, you’ve go the wrong guy. Wait, what other guy? Then Tattooed Guy smacks Coulson the head.

May, Bobbie, Hunter and Trip are gearing up in the back of a van. They storm the bar. Everyone in the bar is dead. Ward isn’t there, neither is Bakshi. Someone is strapped to a chair int he back room, covered in a head towel. May pulls the hood off. It’s Bakshi, in Ward’s clothes. Wait, then what is Ward wearing? It would be funny if Ward chose this moment to become a streaker. Bakshi’s mouth is taped closed. On the tape is written “For Coulson.” This is why you make a Christmas list, people! Who wants a Bakshi as a gift?

agents of shield the writing on the wall bakshi for coulson

Tattoed Guy has everyone bound. He’s ready to carve into Coulson. He’s pissed at Coulson for erasing his memories. Keep talking and Coulson can work his way free. Then TG tells Coulson that pain helped him remember. He slices both of Coulson’s arms. He says he came for Coulson first, but Coulson was already dead. TG works out that Coulson is resurrected the same way he was…the TAHITI method. Tattooed Guy shows off his tattoo. “What does it mean?” he asks Coulson, but Coulson says he doesn’t know, and that’ he’s trying to find out too. Coulson looks at the train set and realizes the symbols aren’t a 2D drawing. Now if only he could untie himself and do something with that information.

Oh wait, it’s the other guy, not Coulson, who has been working his way free. TG slices Coulson’s chest as the other guy frees his family. TG throws the knife at that dude’s head. He catches it. Maybe you can’t fully erase memories. He throws the knife at Coulson’s rope, freeing him.

Skye explains Tahitti to Mac, and anyone who missed the end of last season, as they drive to Coulson. The other TAHITI survivor flags them down. He says two guys are trying to kill each other at his place. TG chases Coulson up a flight of stairs. He’s totally looney toons. Coulson tries strangling him. He forces TG to look at the train set. Mac is going to shoot Coulson if she doesn’t let TG go. Coulson needs him to look. As Mac counts three, Coulson lets go, and TG opens his eyes. He’s relieved. They all are. From above, the train set is a huge blueprint of a city. Attilan?

For those of you who didn’t grow up reading Marvel comics, Attilan is the home of the Inhumans, a superpowered offshoot of humanity created by the alien Kree. The Kree are blue skinned, just like the dead TAHITI alien.

Coulson gives Hank Thompson/Cameron Klein (the other TAHITI survivor) his file and offers him a spot in SHIELD. Thompson declines. He likes his family too much to give them up.

Tattooed Guy, aka Sebastian Derrick, is turned over to the authorities. Oh right, he’s a murderer.

Coulson says he has no compulsion to carve anymore. Now he needs to figure out where this city is. Oo, oo, check the Himalyas!

On the plus side, Coulson and company have Batshi in their cell and access to Bakshi’s cell phone.

Coulson briefs the team about the carvings and his freak outs. Coulson has a 3D map of the symbols. He tells them, “Our job, find it before anyone else.”

Ward puts on a record and checks himself out in the mirror. He shaves the evilness off his face. His beard that is. And gives himself a haircut. Bill Withers Who is He? (And what is He to You)” plays on the radio. Skye is listening to the same record. Side note: you should all listen to Bill Withers. The man is amazing. Bakshi’s phone gets a call. Skye answers “Hail Hydra.” It’s Ward. He wanted to make sure Coulson got his gift. Ward is in a suit. He cleans up nice. He’s in DC. Washington, that is, not Marvel’s competition and home to Batman and Superman. Ward off to visit his brother Christian.

agents of shield the writing on the wall shaved ward

THE END

November 21, 2014 by Billy Henehan

Agents of SHIELD – S2E6 – A Fractured House – Recap

The episode opens at the UN. Talbot talking about being in New York City during the battle for New York, aka The Avengers movie. In his speech, he stomps SHIELD into a mudhole. The Italian diplomat stands up to him. A squad busts in led by a guy who I thought was Batroc the Leaper (he’s not, pity) and starts hitting diplomats with those discs that obelisk people. Is obelisk a verb? It is now. The discs don’t turn people into obelisks, but it has the same effect that touching it, or you know, drinking champagne laced with the cells of its victims does. Not-Batroc and his people are wearing clothes sporting the SHIELD logo. Not-Batroc announces “SHIELD is done hiding” as tries to kill Talbot with one of those discs. Oh boy.

Ward opens his eyes like he’s Jack in the opening of the pilot of Lost. He then goes through the Desmond workout from the opening of the first episode of the second season of Lost. I’m starting to think I know what show the Agents of SHIELD writer like the most. Hint: it rhymes with “LOST.” Ward has an insane workout routine. Skye and Gemma are watching the Ward channel. Gemma admits to watching it every day, but she manages to say it in a wholly scientific and non-sexy way. May comes in to announce to them that there’s been an attack on the UN. Coulson figures out it’s Hydra immediately.

Coulson wants coffee and finds a grumpy cat mug. “Did someone bring this from home?” That’s a good question. How does a Grumpy Cat mug end up in a hidden SHIELD base. I thought everything was only allowed to have the SHIELD logo on it. I kind of wish that mug did have both Grumpy Cat and a SHIELD logo on it. Coulson tells Skye to put the alien writing deciphering on the back burner for now. Bobbie Morse, in a purple Star Wars t-shirt, shows up with some intel. I have never loved Star Wars more. She says Marcus Scarlotti is the name of guy I thought was Batroc. Coulson tells Bobbie to join Hunter and May to take on the developer of the obelisk weapon. Neither Hunter nor Bobbie are feeling good about this team-up. Coulson basically says get over it or get out.

Talbot is now in an arm sling. I’m guessing the disintegrater disc missed him. He meets with government honcho. Talbot tells him he thinks it wasn’t actually SHIELD. And then we find out that this government dude is Ward’s brother, Christian Ward. DUN DUN DUN!

Coulson and Skye watch Ward’s brother on TV announce he wants to dismantle SHIELD. He calls SHIELD terrorists. Coulson shows Skye a map of the remaining SHIELD operatives. There aren’t many dots on that map.

Coulson contacts Agent Walters int he Netherlands. He tells her to go dark. Hmmm…could this be Jen Walters? For those of you who don’t read comics, Jennifer Walters is the cousin of Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk. Because she desperately needed a blood transfusion to save her life, Bruce agreed to go against his better judgement and donate his blood. This blood transfusion transformed her into the sometimes savage, sometimes sensational She-Hulk. At one time, She-Hulk worked for SHIELD.

On the flight to Japan, Bobbie and Hunter try to have a civil conversation. Bobbie is slightly better at it than Hunter is. Bobbie is surprised that Hunter has stuck around. Once the conversation gets a little more passive aggressive, Bobbie goes to the cockpit to talk to May. She asks May if she’s ever been married and if she still talks to her ex. May answers her with silence to both questions.

Fitz is mumbling to himself in his lab. Simmons (the real one) visits him. I wonder if he was talking to fake Simmons just before this. He was definitely talking to himself, so maybe. Simmons asks Fitz for help figuring out something. Woo, FitzSimmons is back! Simmons sees just how bad Fitz’s condition is. It clearly gets to her.

Skye asks Ward about his older brother, the Senator. I wonder how the third Ward brother will one day play into the series. Ward tells her to stay away from him. The way Ward describes him, Christian is a worse guy than he is, and SHIELD/Hydra Ward is pretty bad.

In Japan, May, Bobbie and Hunter try to figure out how to take down Toshiro. Bobbie suggests going in under her Hydra cover. Hunter backs her up with some passive aggressiveness thrown in for old time’s sake. Toshiro’s men check Bobbie for weapons, as May and Hunter watch from the Van.

Bobbie and Toshiro meet. Bobbie speaks Japanese…and then starts making out with Toshiro. That must be fun for Hunter to watch. Toshiro then asks Bobbie if she is working for SHIELD. Bobbie deflects and asks about Scarlotti’s weapons. May and Hunter give running commentary. Toshiro calls them splinter bombs. Bobbie wants some, but he’s shipped them all out to Hydra.

Hunter intercepts an incoming message to Toshiro’s people. It’s alerting them at Bobbie is SHIELD. Hunter stops a gunman from shooting Bobbie in the back of the head. She’s pissed, claiming she totally knew about the guy walking directly behind her with a gun. Uh-huh. After taking out Toshiro’s men, they head to Belguim.

Fitz is looking at Blackbird files. He has a hard time getting his thoughts out and gets frustrated when Simmons tries to finish his sentences. Fitz lashes out at Simmons for leaving when she did. It doesn’t end well. Simmons leaves, just as Mac arrives.

Coulson is in Christian Ward’s office when Christian walks in. Christian won’t shake his hand. Maybe he’s just a germophobe. Coulson wants to clear the air regarding the UN attack, saying it wasn’t his team. Coulson basically gives up Ward to Christian.

Skye visits Ward again. She tells him no one is watching.

Coulson tells Christian that he knows about the well. Christian paints the picture that Ward is just a big fat liar.

Ward tells the same thing about Christian. That’s he’s worse than Ward is.

Christian tells Coulson a story about finding Grant standing over Thomas with s screw driver. Thomas is the third Ward brother we haven’t met yet. Christian basically paints Grant Ward to be a sociopath. He plays Coulson right into his hands, telling him that he’s spent too much of his life trying to unravel his lies and that he always finds someone to believe them. Coulson feels the same way about Ward.

Cut to Ward possibly lying to Skye. This show needs a Lying Cat. Lying Cat would be so helpful here.

Coulson offers Christian a deal.

Ward tells Skye about her dad. Ward sounds super creepy during this scene. He tells her that the people who died when Skye was found in the Hunan province were Hydra agents, not villagers. Hydra killed Skye’s mother. Skye’s father then killed all of the Hydra agents. Ward wants to go on the run with Skye. Skye thanks him for telling him everything he knows and that it’s time to get him out of there…because they’re giving him to his brother.

Mac and Fitz figure out these bombs go back to a design from the 1940s, designed by Vincent Beckers…the same Beckers May is going heading to? Is he another guy who doesn’t age? Simmons says we have to tell Coulson now!

Ward is pleading his case to Coulson. Coulson isn’t having it. Coulson has it out on Ward, telling him the laundry list of things he’s done: almost killing FitzSimmons, killing Victoria Hand and Ezra Koenig. Trip pulls Coulson out. Christian’s men are here for Ward. .

Vincent Beckers is Julian’s grandfather. Ah, got it. Coulson relaizes they’ve been played. In Belguim, Beckers is waiting for Agents Walters in the safe house. He’s killed the SHIELD agents in the house. Wait, how? Is he a superhuman. Oh, Beckers has a Hydra team with him. Scarlottie comes in with a knife. Walters headbutts him. He discs her in the stomach and she turns to dust. Okay, definitely not Jennifer Walters. False alarm. No She-Hulk here.

Hunter busts down the door, offering Scarlotti and his people beer. They’re justifiably confused. Bobbie and May burst in. Bobbie whips out her escrima sticks and goes to town. She and Hunter make a good team.

May and Scarlotti fight. He’s got a knife on a chain and knows how to use it. May dodges him well. It’s an exciting fight scene. Man, sometimes I’m watching Mingna Wen kick ass in these fight scenes, it occurs to me that this is the same woman who for the longest time I associated with The Joy Luck Club. Night and day. At some point, May ends up with Scarlotti’s knife.

Bobbie thanks hunter for saving her life three times today. Awww, are they getting back together?

May (mainly May’s knee) takes down Scarlotti. Unforuntatey, every SHIELD agent in the house other than she, Hunter and Bobbie, are dead.

Simmons thanks Mac for helping Fitz. Mac says Fitz doesn’t need any help. He says that Fitz is definitely a different man from the Fitz that Simmons knew, but Mac never knew the old Fitz. He says she needs to get used to the new Fitz. Simmons wants to tell Mac why she left, but Mac doesn’t want to hear it. He says that the only thing that makes Fitz worse is her. She agrees. That’s why she left.

Hunter is leaving the team. Bobbie wishes him well, and hints he should stay.

There’s a big squad of guys there to take Ward form the stronghold. Simmons stares Ward in the eyes while he’s marched out. Simmons tells Ward that she’ll kill him if she ever sees them again. I think she’s serious. Coulson can’t even look Ward in the face.

Talbot takes Scarlotti into custody.

Christian Ward gives a press conference separating SHIELD from Hydra, and stating bluntly that Hydra is the threat. He comes clean about his brother being in Hydra.

Ward says to Coulson,”Tell Skye this doesn’t change anything. I’ll keep my promise.” Yeah, I don’t see Coulson relaying that message. On the truck out of town, Ward dislocates his thumbs, frees himself and fights ALL the guards in the truck with him.

At some tattoo shop, some guys is getting all that alien writing tattooed on himself. Silly guy. Carve that into walls. Wait, who is this guy?

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Tag Archives: Agents of SHIELD

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