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Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 9 – Ye Who Enter Here – Recap

When the episode opens, Skye is in a white flower-print dress running barefoot running down a hall. It’s the dreaming? It kind of looks like she is. She’s yelling for Coulson. She can’t find anyone. She turns when she hears some chimes. This is one freaky dream. Coulson is now with her, staring at at a box. It’s a music box. Coulson and May are holding a baby. They’re dressed like suburbanites. May says “Sacrifices have to be made. Poison tree, poisoned fruit.” They leave the baby. The music box is the obelisk. When Skye touches it, it withers her.

She wakes up int he bus, freaked out. The team has arrived at its destination.

Mac is controlling a remote control Lucy (Coulson’s car, not Lucille Ball). He runs it into Fitz, who is impressed with the detail Mac put into this remote control car. He asks if it flies (it doesn’t). Mac is looking at Bobbie and Hunter being all chummy. Mac says a storm’s coming. Fitz takes him literally, and says he doesn’t think that’s in the forecast. Fitz was looking for Mac for a reason. He wants Mac to be a go between for him and Simmons. Mac suggests talking to her directly. Fitz blows Mac off.

Simmons is bandaging up Trip, who is shirtless. Um, his eyes are up here, Simmons. Skye walks in just as Trip calls Skye’s dad nutty. Classic Trip…

Coulson briefs his team. They basically walk through Hydra’s plans from the past few episodes and why they have to reach the temple in the secret city before Hydra does. There’s a LOT of exposition. I guess it’s handy if you’re someone who is just coming back to SHIELD after weeks of your friends telling you how good it is right now and you need to catch up.

Trip asks if the secret city related to the Bermuda Triangle. Coulson says they figured out the Bermuda Triangle back in the 80s. They’re headed to Puerto Rico.

In Vancouver, Raina is in a cafe with some white haired dude who is not Daniel Whitehall. New boyfriend? May is at the cafe too. Raina confronts her. Wait a second, it’s not May. It’s some severely facially bruised lady who is working for Whitehall. Raina bolts. Koenig spots her and tells her which way to go. Oh wow, there are lots of Koenig brothers around here, as another one of the Koenig clan grabs Raina. He envelops her in a cloaking umbrella. I want one of those.  Raina is getting recruited by SHIELD!

agents of shield ye who enter here agent 33 face

Coulson is filled in by Billy Koenig (Sam is the other Koenig). They need an extraction team to get Raina out of Vancouver. Agent 33 is stuck looking like a bruised May ever since May electrocuted her while she wearing that digital May mask. So…the mask is stuck to her? Part of her now?

May and Skye watch a news story on Christian’s Ward’s death. They both know Ward did it. Skye wants to take him down.

Coulson is splitting up the team. May is headed to Vancouver to grab Raina. Bobbie, Mac and FitzSimmons are coming with Coulson. Coulson doesn’t want Skye anywhere near her Loony Toons dad.

Bobbie asks Simmons how long she and Fitz were a thing. Simmons denies it, poorly. Simmons says she’s been freaked ever since Fitz said she loved her, saved her life and went into a coma. Simmons said she never thought of him as anything more than a friend. Bobbie gives her some love advice that could have easily come from Tyra on Friday Night Lights. She could have been talking about Riggins as much as she was talking about Hunter.

Speaking of Hunter, Bobbie tells him, “Don’t die out there.” Hunter’s response? “It’s Canada.” HA!

Mac asks Bobbie if she “brought Hunter in on that other thing.” She says she didn’t. Wait, what other thing??? Are Mac and Bobbie double agents? Triple agents?

One of the Koenigs is walking down a street in Vancouver. A bald dude in a suit follows him. Hunter takes the bald bad guy down and walks off with the Koenig brother, who turns out to be Sam (“Billy is the shorter one”). May takes out two more agents. Billy and Raina are in a hideaway. Skye meets up with them. He tells her, “I’m Billy. Sam is the shorter one” Agent 33, aka Not-May, ambushes them. Wow, Skye has become a really good fighter. Seriously, when did Skye become such a skilled fighter? She’s almost May-like. Agent 33 eventually get the better of her. Luckily for Skye, Hunter drops Agent 33 before she can shoot Skye in the face. Hunter’s reaction to her looking like May “And I thought the Koenigs were creepy.” Hunter has the best lines this episode!

In San Juan, Bobbie and Coulson pull up in a jeep. They walk through a market. Coulson tries on a fedora. Bobbie is wondering why Coulson is so unfazed by the prospect of blowing up an underground city located under the streets of San Juan. She wants to make sure they’re there to destroy any weapons in the underground city, not recover them. Coulson gives a speech. His number of acceptable losses is zero. No one is dying on his watch here.

agents of shield ye who enter here coulson and bobbie in san juan

Simmons and Fitz have it out. Fitz is going to leave the lab so that Simmons can run the science division. He’s going to the garage on the bus to work with Mac. Don’t break up FitzSimmons! Fitz says he can work for her, but not with her. Ugh, you’re killing us, Fitz! Simmons just kind of nods her head and stares at the wall as Fitz leaves the room.

Bobbie and Coulson walking around San Juan makes me really want to visit San Juan. Wow, it is just beautiful.

Skye is guarding Raina. Raina realizes Hydra doesn’t want to kill her, they need her because Raina can hold the diviner. Raina tells Skye that she thinks Skye would live if she touched it too. Raina tries to hail the Hydra goons, but a Koenig runs down the Hydra guys in his van. Hunter and May pull Skye and Raina in the van.

Agent 33 calls Whitehall. They failed to abduct Raina, but Raina does have a tracker on her. Whitehall says he’ll get his best man on it.

Koenig is talking to Trip and says it must be weird for May seeing someone with her face. And then the other Koenig walks in. I love this episode. Trip asks how many Koenig brothers there are. They say 13 in unison. Trip flips. It’s just a joke, Trip…I think.

agents of shield ye who enter here koenigs

May tells Coulson that Raina says she can touch the obelisk without being harmed. In San Juan, Bobbie’s contact is afraid of the secret city and won’t join them. Coulson, Mac, FitzSimmons and Bobbie head down there. It looks like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade down there. Fitz sends some drones down a big hole to survey the tunnel. Simmons is finishing his sentences He doesn’t seem to mind that much. Uh oh, the drones just failed.

HENRY SIMMONS, IAIN DE CAESTECKER, ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE

Raina gets her very own SHIELD lanyard. She and Skye talk over tea on the Bus. Raina tells Skye that her dad delivered her. Skye counters that he’s a murderer and almost killed her friend, Trip. Skye does want to understand her dad though. Raina tells Skye about how she first met him in Thailand. She was a con artist. Skye’s dad took her in. During the story, Raina calls the aliens the Kree! Raina names the Kree! Eeeee! This is huge! SHIELD really has become the stealthy background of building the biggest movies!

Raina is in Skye’s head. Skye wants to call Coulson and the team back to the Bus, but there’s no signal. Whitehall hails them. He’s jamming them. He wants Raina. Hand her over or be shot down. The bus is surrounded by Hydra Quinjets.

Mac hits the bottom of the tunnel. When Mac touches the ground, the symbols from the obelisk appear there, and then on his hand. He’s in pain, like “shoot me now” kind of pain. Oh man, I like Mac! Don’t kill him!

Coulson and company pull Mac out. He’s having a heart attack or something. Then he’s fine. Now, he’s not. His eyes are red. Mac says, “Run” and then proceeds to super-punch Coulson across the room. Ruh roh.

Ward leads in some Hydra goons onto the bus. Hey, a reunion! Skye tells Ward to pick a side. He ignores her and tells Raina, “Let’s go.” Raina is cool with leaving. But then Ward announces that he wants Skye too.

Bobbie fighting Mac is like Rey Mysterio fighting the Rock or Big Show. Fitz zaps Mac with an electroshock before she has the chance to crush Bobbie’s larynx…but it has no effect.

Back at the Mexican standoff on the Bus, guns are drawn and Ward tells Skye that if she comes, no one dies. A Koenig points out that Ward killed his brother. But Skye agrees to go.

Coulson pulls Mac off Bobbie. Simmons is almost thrown down into the pit. Coulson saves her. Fitz is about to shoot Mac, but tries talking him down. Bobbie electrocutes him. He falls down into the tunnel. Coulson tells her to seal the tunnel. She’s stunned, but Coulson yells, “That’s not Mack!” So much for zero acceptable losses.

Agent 33 gets in Whitehall’s car. She tells him Ward has Raina, however there was a complication, he also took Skye. Whitehall okay with it, noting that at least Ward shot the SHIELD plane down. Agent 33 basically says, “Yeah…he didn’t.” Whitehall gives the command, which Agent 33 relays to some Hydra guys: shoot down the plane. Her robotic voice really freaks me out.

And that’s it! Oh man, we only have one more episode before the mid-season break! Expect excitement next week!

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Agents of SHIELD – Season 2, Episode 8 – The Things We Bury – Recap

We open in the past, in Austria, 1945. Daniel Whitehall, with a much heavier German, accent is interrogating some Asian dude. This guy and his friends are who originally dug up the obelisk. Whitehall has him touch the obelisk. The guy immediately turns to dust. Whitehall is trying to figure out why it affects whom it affects. He calls for another subject.

 

REED DIAMOND, ALEXANDER LEEB

The next subject brought in is an Asian woman. She spots the decayed finger that is all that’s left of the last guy and really doesn’t want to touch the obelisk. Whitehall doesn’t give her much choice. He forces her to touch the obelisk. The obelisk glows, but doesn’t harm her. Whitehall and his goons are shocked. Her reward for living is vivisection. 

the things we bury skyes mom and whitehall

 Just then, a Nazi bursts in to announce that the Red Skull is dead and that Allies are approaching.
Back to the present, Whitehall is talking to a team of scientists about the obelisk. They haven’t gotten any closer to figuring out the obelisk than he did in 1945. His guards drag in Kyle McLaughlin. It’s nice to see Kyle McLoughlin play someone so crazy. He’s usually so reserved and tight assed in his roles. Kyle says it’s not a weapon. It’s a key. Oh Oh, to the city! The city from Coulson’s crazy carvings! Kyle says “There’s a place…” I really hoped he was going to finish with “for us,” and burst into song, but no such luck.

 

The Bus, fully cloaked, is on its way to Hawaii. Coulson is on the Bus. Skye is with him. Coulson chatting with May, who is in charge back at their base. Bobbie is interrogating Bakshi at the base. Bakshi is giving Bobbie the standard Hydra spiel. Bobbie calls him out on it. Hunter and Mac watch her chip away at Bakshi. Seeing Adrianne Palicki kick ass on this show makes me really wish that her Wonder Woman pilot was picked up. I’m not complaining too much though, because she completely rocks as a SHIELD agent.  Mac is worried about Coulson, and expresses it to Hunter. Mac definitely doesn’t have full faith in Coulson after seeing how crazy Coulson was acting while he was strapped into that memory machine. Simmons joins them. Simmons does not like Bakshi at all. Bobbie suggests to Bakshi that he’s been brainwashed by Whitehall. Bakshi doesn’t believe her, but doesn’t not believe her either.

 

Christian is on the phone, first with his wife and then his mistress as he pulls up to his family’s house in the woods. You guys, Christian cheats on his wife. That’s how you know he’s badder than he lets on. Ward throws one of Christians guards through Christian’s window to get his brother’s attention. It works.

 

the things we bury ward in action

 

Coulson’s team land in Oahu. He gives his team some fun assignments when they land in Hawaii. He tells Skye to bring this watch to a guy to get inscribed “Dearest Darren, I count the seconds that we’re apart. Love, Your Island Flower.” He warns her that if the watch starts to leak, drop it and run. He gives Trip a button and dry cleaning ticket. He warns Trip not to put the button in his pocket if he wants kids, and to come back with the blue tie. Ooooh, we are in full secret agent mode! Fitz wants to know what Coulson wants of him. Coulson needs Fitz to install some equipment in the field, under pressure in under 6 minutes. He wants Fitz to practice until he gets it right. I wonder if Coulson actually needs this installed or if he’s just helping Fitz through busywork.

 

Bobbie is twiddling her escrima sticks. Hunter asks what’s wrong. She says she’s got Bakshi figured out, but can’t figure out what’s the deal is with Whitehall. Simmons finds some files made by Agent Carter (coming soon to ABC)! May pulls out the key to Vault B from a secret cubbyhole. Agent Carter left it there. Oh, SHIELD base…so many secret cubbyholes.

 

Cut to the past…Agent Carter time! Carter is interrogating Werner Reinhardt, aka Daniel Whitehall. Reinhardt wants a deal. Carter isn’t going for it. She thinks he’s a monster. He claims he’s the only one who can explain all the items Carter has taken from him. Whitehall talks about “A city in the east. Blue angels bearing a gift for all mankind.” Whitehall tells her these visitors came to conquer the world. Guys, I’m like 99% sure he’s talking about the Kree here, and that the secret city is Attilan. Now, if you’re a Marvel Comics reader, you’re probably thinking the exact same thing, but for those of you who don’t read the comics, the Kree are an alien race who have come to Earth numerous times and experimented on humans. Their most famous experiments are the Inhumans, a super powered Kree created offshoot of humanity.

 

the things we bury carter and whitehall
In the present, Kyle tells Whitehall, it’s not conquer, it’s end. End mankind. Except for a chosen few, chosen by the diviner, aka the obelisk. Kyle says he can get Whitehall into the temple that the diviner opens. Whitehall is afraid of a double cross, but Kyle doesn’t want the power for himself, he only wants revenge on who killed his wife, and to be reunited with this family in the afterlife. Kyle is seriously coo coo.

 

Ward is leading a handcuffed Christian into the woods. Christian tries to convince Ward that Ward is free because of him. Ward picks up a shovel. He want Christian to dig up the well from their youth. Ward explains that their parents didn’t fill in the well; they just covered it up.

 

At the Bus, Fitz is working. He gets it done 11:23. Not fast enough. Again! Fitz thinks Coulson is just testing him. Me too, Fitz, me too. Trip puts it into perspective by mentioning that Coulson just had him deliver a button to a 300 pound Hawaiian man. Fair enough. Coulson moves in mysterious ways.

 

At the base, Hunter finds the Reinhardt file. After seeing Reinhardt’s photo, Simmons realizes that REINHARDT is WHITEHALL! Dun! Dun! Dun! Oh wait, we knew that. The characters are just catching up to us. May verifies it by pulling up Reinhardt’s photo as an old man, a life prisoner at the Rat. Somehow he’s turned back the clock.

 

In the past, Carter turns down Whitehall. She tells him she’s burying him here, in the Rat. Reinhardt is locked up for a long time. Strangely, they give him access to different books over the years, and a chess set. The chess set is less surprising, but why give the Nazi scientist reading material? If I’ve got a Nazi prisoner, he’s getting one back issue of TV Guide that already had the crossword puzzle done and that’s it. 44 years later, Reinhardt is an old man.  Undersecretary Pierce (Hail Hydra) has him freed. The agent freeing him says “Hail Hydra.” He tells Reinhardt that after all these years, they found the woman, she’s still alive. I have a feeling it’s the lady from earlier…and also Skye’s mom. Hey look, I’m right…on the first part at least. She’s as young as she was in 1945. They’re now in Austria in 1989.  Strangely, the suits don’t have giant shoulder pads.

 

Reinhardt is excited. He’s going to cut her open. She, understandably, freaks out.

 

Simmons says there are no records for Reinhardt post-1989. Hunter gives Reinhardt’s file to Bobbie. She asks Bakshi if his devotion to Whitehall is based on fear or respect. Bakshi plays to the closed circuit camera, mentioning how quickly Bobbie ingratiated herself into Hydra, trying to get her SHIELD teammates to turn on her. Bobbie realizes Bakshi is afraid of disappointing Whitehall. She says they’ll tell Whitehall that Bakshi gave them everything on Whitehall, everything in the Reinhardt file. Bakshi tenses. Baksi slams his head onto the table as hard as he can to dislodge a cyanide capsule in his cheekbone. Sneaky sneaky Bakshi.

 

Ward wants Christian to admit that he made Ward push Thomas (the third Ward brother) down the well. Christian tells him he’s wrong. Ward says he isn’t falling for it. This whole family is nuts. Christian manages to sucker-hit Ward with the shovel. Ward drags him back and pulls the wooden cover off the well. He hangs Christian over the well. Seriously, nutty family. Ward is about to throw him in and Christian admits it was him, he wanted Thomas dead. “Thomas was the only one mom didn’t torture.” What. The Fuck. He tearfully apologizes to Grant, who gives him no emotion back. Grant helps him to his feet and hugs him, tears up a little and then to everyone’s surprise, walks off with his brother arm in arm. I really thought Christian was going in the well.

 

Coulson’s team is in Australia. They’re in Australia and not Hawaii because of an overly complicated bit about the software they need to map the Earth to find the secret city is in a Hawaii base being too heavily guarded, but the button and watch introduced a Trojon Horse that will knock out the Hawaiian feed, bringing the Australian one online. This makes sense only when Coulson explains it. Sorry. Fitz has the transceiver down to 7:28. That’s still not good enough. Fitz believes in himself though and is confident he’ll nail it in the field.

 

They hit the base. It’s empty. Their radios are jammed. They’re ambushed!! The crew is tied up. Is this Hydra? It looks like Hydra. The servers are coming online as the shootout is underway. Coulson brings the crew to safety. Trip takes out some Hydra while Fitz gets to work. Trip is shot. It misses his vest. He’s going to bleed out. Kyle rushes in and offers to help. “I’m a doctor.” Whhhhhaaaat?

 

He’s not kidding about helping. He pulls out his medical supplies and works on pulling out the bullet from Trip. Phil is shocked that Kyle knows his name. Coulson draws his gun on him. Kyle tells them that if he lets go of the clamp, Trip dies. Kyle takes their guns, and gets back to work.

 

Kyle tells Phil he knows what’s inside the secret city. Phil asks if whatever it is inside has tesseract level power. Kyle says “Sure…I don’t know what that is.” Ha, best line of the night! Kyle then goes on a weirdo rant, and gets really angry when Phil refers to his daughter as Skye. He tells Phil how to save Trip and bounces. Fitz gets to work on the transceiver while Coulson works on saving Trip. Trip is going to make it. Yay. I like Trip.

 

Whitehall is meeting with….??? We see a flashback of him operating on Skye’s mom. They vivisect her. By the end, she’s dead, and he injects himself with her blood, making him young again. Oh, he’s taking to Ward. Interesting. He offers Ward a second chance. Wow, Ward killed Christian and his own parents! And made a recording of Christian’s confession by the well to make it look like a murder suicide. Oh Ward…

 

Bakshi is alive, just barely. Hunter accuses Bobbie of pushing Bakshi too hard because he was about to reveal her Hydra secrets. They argue. Bobbie basically says that he’s the one person she doesn’t lie too. Then they’re undressing and getting int he back of a SHIELD van. If the SHIELD van is a knocking…

 

Skye and Coulson are searching for the city. Skye tells Coulson, you’re acting like you saw the devil out there. Before he can respond, the computer has found the city! Oh boy!

 

Speaking of the devil, Kyle is meeting with Whitehall and Ward. Whitehall is teaming them up. When Kyle hears that Ward was on Coulson’s team, he perks up. He tells Ward it’s always good to look your enemy right in the eye…and then looks right at Whitehall.

 

Cut to 25 years ago. Kyle has found the lady’s dead body. It’s definitely Skye’s mom. He vows to kill her killer. Hey Kyle, it’s Whitehall. Oh wait, by now you know that.
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Agents of SHIELD -Season 2, Episode 7 – The Writing on the Wall – Recap

We open on scenic Rhinebeck, NY. A brownstone. Nay, a scenic brownstone. A giddy couple walks in. Hey, the guy is the tattooed dude from the end of last week’s episode…and his girllfriend? Nope, just some girl he picked up at the bar. Go on, player. It’s her place. She pours some wine. She knows him from somewhere but can’t figure out how. “I do some carving every now and then.” What kind of answer is that? She seems ready to marry this dude after just meeting him. Watch that aggression girl; you’re just going to drive him off. He shows her his tattoo. Then he pulls out a knife. Lesson learned: don’t bring strange men home from bars. When he shows her his tattoos,  she recognizes the shapes. Huh. Interesting.

 Back at his secret SHIELD base, Coulson is listening to hot jazz and carving in the wall. Actually, I’m not sure if the jazz is hot. It definitely is uptempo. What makes jazz hot? Skye’s not a jazz fan, hot or otherwise. Skye and May are tagteaming watching Coulson as he carves. It’s Skye’s turn. I know Skye said the carvings form a map, but it looks like a decision tree to me. Coulson is carving more and more. He’s not in control of it. He can’t sleep. It’s just carve, carve, carve. It’s definitely taking a toll on him.
May is hunting Ward. She’s airborne. Ward is in Philly. Trip spotted him. They’re in the bus terminal. Ward takes a bag full of passports, phone and cash from a locker. If Hollywood would have you believe anything, it’s that almost every bus station locker is a vault of hidden treasure and homeless mens’ underwear. Coulson orders Trip to bring Ward in by any means necessary. One problem: Ward’s already made Trip and flashes the C4 strapped to his waist. They’re going to keep their distance and follow the bus.
One of Skye’s hacker pals found something. It’s the dead body of Tattooed Guy’s girl. He carved into her body. She’s a SHIELD agent. Well, she was a SHIELD agent. Huh. Janice Robbins. Art teacher by day, SHIELD agent by night. Well, dead SHIED agent by night.
Coulson and Skye sneak into Jancie’s apartment like they’re on Dr. House’s team looking for clues. Skye doesn’t buy that this lady was an agent. She says this lady and Coulson have nothing in common, until they go into her studio. It’s filled with paintings of the carvings. Dun dun dun!
agents of shield the writing on the wall symbol paintings
Coulson lays out all the paintings. There is a lot of overlap with what he was carving. She was Agent Rebecca Stevens, Level 6 SHIELD agent at the Trisklellion…except she died 5 years ago of cancer. Dun dun dun!
Mac and Fitz retrieve Stevens’s body by walking into the morgue and grabbing it. They basically used the “walk in and act like you own the place approach.” Apparently it works in morgues just as well as it does weddings and private dinner parties. Good to know…I guess. Simmons does the autopsy. Side note: I’m so happy Simmons is back.
agents of shield the writing on the wall ward on a bus
Bobbie is at the next buys stop, which is Atlanta. Ward offers to help a mom and her kid with their bags. They’re both on his bus to Dallas. Ward doesn’t sit with them, but does sit with Bobbie in the back of the bus. She gets flirty with him. Ward makes her immediately. She plays the denial game well until he pulls out his deadman switch and threaten to blow the bus if she tries anything. Ward jumps on the bus to Boston. He doesn’t spot Hunter in Garth Brooks hat. Ha, take that Ward.
Simmons talks about the murder. It’s grisly. There was GH325 in Stevens’s blood, and it was in the killer’s as well. Coulson denies suffering from hypographia, which is the need to write incessantly. Coulson opens up a secret chamber. He wants Skye and Simmons to torture the secrets of the serum out of him…huh…wha? Simmons straps an iPhone to Coulson’s chest and plugs him into the memory machine from last season. For those of you who missed the tail end of last season, the machine helps Coulson retrieve his memories. Mac is there to hold Coulson down while he’s using the machine. It’s not a pleasant experience, this memory machine.
CHLOE BENNET, CLARK GREGG
Coulson remembers….he’s at the guest house, in the interview room. He’s alone. In front of him is Stevens’s file folder. She appears before him. This is some Twin Peaks type shit. She’s post-TAHITI. She feels great. Whoa, there were others, including the Tattooed Guy. They all say they fell great. There are six TAHITI test subjects altogether.  He recommends the immediate release of all 6 patients. And then Stevens starts maniacally carving. They’re all going crazy in front of him….except the Tattooed Guy. He’s normal. If I know anything, the most normal looking guy is always the craziest…oh right, we already saw him carve up a woman earlier this episode. Coulson wants to shut down the program and destroy the dead alien. The dead alien is thousands of years old. The doctor in charge doesn’t want to stop. She thinks the alien host is inserting memories in them. She suggests wiping all their memories, saying that the subjects will be able to live normal lives. Tattooed Guy gets the Coulson brain surgery.
Up in Boston, and back in the present, Ward stop by pub. The bartender offers him a columbian necktie or a bullet in the head. Ward chooses a bullet in the head on the rocks. It surprisingly does not involve Bulliet Bourbon. Bakshi and some Hydra agents show up. They’re there for Ward. So this is a Hydra bar? Ward says, “Since Strucker is overseas, I assume you report to someone else.” For those of you who don’t know, Baron Von Strucker is a classic Nick Fury and SHIELD villain. He’s one of bad guys in the comics most associated with Hydra. AND, he’s the guy who had Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver held captive at the end of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Ward tells Bakshi that he will kill Coulson if Bakshi introduce him to Whitehall.
Two of the six TAHITI patients are still alive.
In Coulson’s mind, we find out that Tattooed Guy was carving into himself when he was locked up. Coulson imagines Tattooed Guy becoming Coulson. Coulson is losing it. They finally pull Coulson out. He’s screaming “I need to know.” Me too, Phil. Me too.
May is pissed that Coulson went int he machine. Coulson is a maniac. Skye pulls a gun on him after he shoves Simmons. May wants Coulson locked up. Coulson agreees. Skye takes Coulson down to Ward’s old cell, but Coulson gets the drop on her, throws her in the cell and runs out. Oh Skye…
The other alive TAHITI guy is living in the burbs. He has made a very elaborate train set for his son in his basement. It is awesome, and I’m guessing looks like the symbols when seen from above. His wife says he has a visitor. Uh oh.
Mac and Fitz are plaing some first person shooters. Mac wants Fitz to play to help Fitz’s hand-eye coordination. Fitz says brains don’t delete files, just connections. This means that good ol’ Fitz is somewhere in there! Hook him up to Coulson’s memory machine! Wait, don’t do that.
Apparently the guys didn’t notice that Skye is on the video monitor waving to them from the jail.
Back in the burbs, the guy at the door is Coulson. Coulson pulls a gun on the dude. Oh, Coulson, that’s not how you make a first impression. When asked, the guy says he’s never seen the symbols. He says’ I told you both, you’ve go the wrong guy. Wait, what other guy? Then Tattooed Guy smacks Coulson the head.
May, Bobbie, Hunter and Trip are gearing up in the back of a van. They storm the bar. Everyone in the bar is dead. Ward isn’t there, neither is Bakshi. Someone is strapped to a chair int he back room, covered in  a head towel. May pulls the hood off. It’s Bakshi, in Ward’s clothes. Wait, then what is Ward wearing? It would be funny if Ward chose this moment to become a streaker. Bakshi’s mouth is taped closed. On the tape is written “For Coulson.” This is why you make a Christmas list, people! Who wants a Bakshi as a gift?
agents of shield the writing on the wall bakshi for coulson
Tattoed Guy has everyone bound. He’s ready to carve into Coulson. He’s pissed at Coulson for erasing his memories. Keep talking and Coulson can work his way free. Then TG tells Coulson that pain helped him remember. He slices both of Coulson’s arms. He says he came for Coulson first, but Coulson was already dead. TG works out that Coulson is resurrected the same way he was…the TAHITI method. Tattooed Guy shows off his tattoo. “What does it mean?” he asks Coulson, but Coulson says he doesn’t know, and that’ he’s trying to find out too. Coulson looks at the train set and realizes the symbols aren’t a 2D drawing. Now if only he could untie himself and do something with that information.
JOEL GRETSCH, BRIAN VAN HOLT
Oh wait, it’s the other guy, not Coulson, who has been working his way free. TG slices Coulson’s chest as the other guy frees his family. TG throws the knife at that dude’s head. He catches it. Maybe you can’t fully erase memories. He throws the knife at Coulson’s rope, freeing him.
Skye explains Tahitti to Mac, and anyone who missed the end of last season, as they drive to Coulson. The other TAHITI survivor flags them down. He says two guys are trying to kill each other at his place. TG chases Coulson up a flight of stairs. He’s totally looney toons. Coulson tries strangling him. He forces TG to look at the train set. Mac is going to shoot Coulson if she doesn’t let TG go. Coulson needs him to look. As Mac counts three, Coulson lets go, and TG opens his eyes. He’s relieved. They all are. From above, the train set is a huge blueprint of a city. Attilan?
For those of you who didn’t grow up reading Marvel comics, Attilan is the home of the Inhumans, a superpowered offshoot of humanity created by the alien Kree. The Kree are blue skinned, just like the dead TAHITI alien.
Coulson gives Hank Thompson/Cameron Klein (the other TAHITI survivor) his file and offers him a spot in SHIELD. Thompson declines. He likes his family too much to give them up.
Tattooed Guy, aka Sebastian Derrick, is turned over to the authorities. Oh right, he’s a murderer.
Coulson says he has no compulsion to carve anymore. Now he needs to figure out where this city is. Oo, oo, check the Himalyas!
On the plus side, Coulson and company have Batshi in their cell and access to Bakshi’s cell phone.
Coulson briefs the team about the carvings and his freak outs. Coulson has a 3D map of the symbols. He tells them, “Our job, find it before anyone else.”
Ward puts on a  record and checks himself out in the mirror. He shaves the evilness off his face. His beard that is. And gives himself a haircut. Bill Withers Who is He? (And what is He to You)” plays on the radio. Skye is listening to the same record. Side note: you should all listen to Bill Withers. The man is amazing. Bakshi’s phone gets a call. Skye answers “Hail Hydra.” It’s Ward. He wanted to make sure Coulson got his gift. Ward is in a suit. He cleans up nice. He’s in DC. Washington, that is, not Marvel’s competition and home to Batman and Superman. Ward off to visit his brother Christian.
agents of shield the writing on the wall shaved ward
THE END
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Tuesday Night Comics Podcast Episode 48 – Blue Beetle and Booster Gold Return!

Billy and Dave are back from Thanksgiving and ready to talk comics! The guys preview new comics coming out on Wednesday, December 3, 2014, including the return of the Blue and Gold team, Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, in Justice League 3000 #12! Billy and Dave also once again play the $20 budget game, giving you their picks on what to pick up if you only had $20 to spend on new comics this week. Plus, comic reviews and Star Wars Episode VII thoughts!

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Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Official Teaser Trailer

It’s a Thanksgiving miracle! The official teaser trailer for Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is up on YouTube. If anyone needs me, I’ll be watching this all weekend.

If you would like to see this trailer on the big screen (or in the case of IMAX theaters, a REALLY big screen), AMC is showing it in certain cities around the country this weekend. If you live near one of the following theaters, you may want to head there this weekend.

AMC Century City 15 & IMAX & AMC Prime – Los Angeles

AMC Lincoln Square 13 & IMAX – New York

AMC Metreon 15 & IMAX – San Francisco

AMC Boston Common 19 & IMAX – Boston

AMC Tyson’s Corner 16 & IMAX – Washington D.C.

AMC Westminster Promenade 24 & IMAX – Denver

AMC Studio 30 & IMAX – Kansas City

AMC Southdale 16 & IMAX – Minneapolis

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Tuesday Night Comics Podcast Episode 47 – The Multiversity: Pax America In-Depth Discussion!

Yes, despite Thanksgiving, new comics are coming out Wednesday, November 26, 2014. And we have your previews for you. Listen to the podcast and hear our recommendation on what new issues deserve your attention. Plus a new feature on the podcast: the $20 budget challenge! Find out what we would buy if we were limited to only $20 this week.

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Are you reading The Multiversity? If so, you are going to want to listen to this episode! We go deep into The Multiversity: Pax Americana #1 by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely. We go a little Pax Americrazy!
multiversity pax americana
And we review other comics from last week and talk about the latest comic book news. Happy New Comic Book Day Eve, everyone!

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E6 – A Fractured House – Recap

The episode opens at the UN. Talbot talking about being in New York City during the battle for New York, aka The Avengers movie. In his speech, he stomps SHIELD into a mudhole. The Italian diplomat stands up to him. A squad busts in led by a guy who I thought was Batroc the Leaper (he’s not, pity) and starts hitting diplomats with those discs that obelisk people. Is obelisk a verb? It is now. The discs don’t turn people into obelisks, but it has the same effect that touching it, or you know, drinking champagne laced with the cells of its victims does. Not-Batroc and his people are wearing clothes sporting the SHIELD logo. Not-Batroc announces “SHIELD is done hiding” as tries to kill Talbot with one of those discs. Oh boy.

Agents-of-SHIELD-206-disc

Ward opens his eyes like he’s Jack in the opening of the pilot of Lost. He then goes through the Desmond workout from the opening of the first episode of the second season of Lost. I’m starting to think I know what show the Agents of SHIELD writer like the most. Hint: it rhymes with “LOST.” Ward has an insane workout routine. Skye and Gemma are watching the Ward channel. Gemma admits to watching it every day, but she manages to say it in a wholly scientific and non-sexy way.  May comes in to announce to them that there’s been an attack on the UN. Coulson figures out it’s Hydra immediately.
Coulson wants coffee and finds a grumpy cat mug. “Did someone bring this from home?” That’s a good question. How does a Grumpy Cat mug end up in a hidden SHIELD base. I thought everything was only allowed to have the SHIELD logo on it. I kind of wish that mug did have both Grumpy Cat and a SHIELD logo on it. Coulson tells Skye to put the alien writing deciphering on the back burner for now. Bobbie Morse, in a purple Star Wars t-shirt,  shows up with some intel. I have never loved Star Wars more. She says Marcus Scarlotti is the name of guy I thought was Batroc. Coulson tells Bobbie to join Hunter and May to take on the developer of the obelisk weapon. Neither Hunter nor Bobbie are feeling good about this team-up. Coulson basically says get over it or get out.
bobbie star wars shirt shield
Talbot is now in an arm sling. I’m guessing the disintegrater disc missed him. He meets with government honcho. Talbot tells him he thinks it wasn’t actually SHIELD. And then we find out that this government dude is Ward’s brother, Christian Ward. DUN DUN DUN!
christan ward
Coulson and Skye watch Ward’s brother on TV announce he wants to dismantle SHIELD. He calls SHIELD terrorists. Coulson shows Skye a map of the remaining SHIELD operatives. There aren’t many dots on that map.
Coulson contacts Agent Walters int he Netherlands. He tells her to go dark. Hmmm…could this be Jen Walters? For those of you who don’t read comics, Jennifer Walters is the cousin of Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk. Because she desperately needed a blood transfusion to save her life, Bruce agreed to go against his better judgement and donate his blood. This blood transfusion transformed her into the sometimes savage, sometimes sensational She-Hulk. At one time, She-Hulk worked for SHIELD.
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On the flight to Japan, Bobbie and Hunter try to have a civil conversation. Bobbie is slightly better at it than Hunter is. Bobbie is surprised that Hunter has stuck around. Once the conversation gets a little more passive aggressive, Bobbie goes to the cockpit to talk to May. She asks May if she’s ever been married and if she still talks to her ex. May answers her with silence to both questions.
Fitz is mumbling to himself in his lab. Simmons (the real one) visits him. I wonder if he was talking to fake Simmons just before this. He was definitely talking to himself, so maybe. Simmons asks Fitz for help figuring out something. Woo, FitzSimmons is back! Simmons sees just how bad Fitz’s condition is. It clearly gets to her.
Skye asks Ward about his older brother, the Senator. I wonder how the third Ward brother will one day play into the series. Ward tells her to stay away from him. The way Ward describes him, Christian is a worse guy than he is, and SHIELD/Hydra Ward is pretty bad.
In Japan, May, Bobbie and Hunter try to figure out how to take down Toshiro. Bobbie suggests going in under her Hydra cover. Hunter backs her up with some passive aggressiveness thrown in for old time’s sake. Toshiro’s men check Bobbie for weapons, as May and Hunter watch from the Van.
Bobbie and Toshiro meet. Bobbie speaks Japanese…and then starts making out with Toshiro. That must be fun for Hunter to watch. Toshiro then asks Bobbie if she is working for SHIELD. Bobbie deflects and asks about Scarlotti’s weapons. May and Hunter give running commentary. Toshiro calls them splinter bombs. Bobbie wants some, but he’s shipped them all out to Hydra.
Hunter intercepts an incoming message to Toshiro’s people. It’s alerting them at Bobbie is SHIELD. Hunter stops a gunman from shooting Bobbie in the back of the head. She’s pissed, claiming she totally knew about the guy walking directly behind her with a gun. Uh-huh. After taking out Toshiro’s men, they head to Belguim.
Fitz is looking at Blackbird files. He has a hard time getting his thoughts out and gets frustrated when Simmons tries to finish his sentences. Fitz lashes out at Simmons for leaving when she did. It doesn’t end well. Simmons leaves, just as Mac arrives.
Coulson is in Christian Ward’s office when Christian walks in. Christian won’t shake his hand. Maybe he’s just a germophobe. Coulson wants to clear the air regarding the UN attack, saying it wasn’t his team. Coulson basically gives up Ward to Christian.
Skye visits Ward again. She tells him no one is watching.
Coulson tells Christian that he knows about the well. Christian paints the picture that Ward is just a big fat liar.
Ward tells the same thing about Christian. That’s he’s worse than Ward is.
Christian tells Coulson a story about finding Grant standing over Thomas with s screw driver. Thomas is the third Ward brother we haven’t met yet. Christian basically paints Grant Ward to be a sociopath. He plays Coulson right into his hands, telling him that he’s spent too much of his life trying to unravel his lies and that he always finds someone to believe them. Coulson feels the same way about Ward.
Cut to Ward possibly lying to Skye. This show needs a Lying Cat. Lying Cat would be so helpful here.
Coulson offers Christian a deal.
Ward tells Skye about her dad. Ward sounds super creepy during this scene. He tells her that the people who died when Skye was found in the Hunan province were Hydra agents, not villagers. Hydra killed Skye’s mother. Skye’s father then killed all of the Hydra agents. Ward wants to go on the run with Skye. Skye thanks him for telling him everything he knows and that it’s time to get him out of there…because they’re giving him to his brother.
Mac and Fitz figure out these bombs go back to a design from the 1940s, designed by Vincent Beckers…the same Beckers May is going heading to? Is he another guy who doesn’t age? Simmons says we have to tell Coulson now!
Ward is pleading his case to Coulson. Coulson isn’t having it. Coulson has it out on Ward, telling him the laundry list of things he’s done: almost killing FitzSimmons, killing Victoria Hand and Ezra Koenig. Trip pulls Coulson out. Christian’s men are here for Ward. .
Vincent Beckers is Julian’s grandfather. Ah, got it. Coulson relaizes they’ve been played. In Belguim, Beckers is waiting for Agents Walters in the safe house. He’s killed the SHIELD agents in the house. Wait, how? Is he a superhuman. Oh, Beckers has a Hydra team with him. Scarlottie comes in with a knife. Walters headbutts him. He discs her in the stomach and she turns to dust. Okay, definitely not Jennifer Walters. False alarm. No She-Hulk here.
Hunter busts down the door, offering Scarlotti and his people beer. They’re justifiably confused. Bobbie and May burst in. Bobbie whips out her escrima sticks and goes to town. She and Hunter make a good team.
agents of shield s236 bobbie
May and Scarlotti fight. He’s got a knife on a chain and knows how to use it. May dodges him well. It’s an exciting fight scene. Man, sometimes I’m watching Mingna Wen kick ass in these fight scenes, it occurs to me that this is the same woman who for the longest time I associated with The Joy Luck Club. Night and day. At some point, May ends up with Scarlotti’s knife.
Bobbie thanks hunter for saving her life three times today. Awww, are they getting back together?
May (mainly May’s knee) takes down Scarlotti. Unforuntatey, every SHIELD agent in the house other than she, Hunter and Bobbie, are dead. 
Simmons thanks Mac for helping Fitz. Mac says Fitz doesn’t need any help. He says that Fitz is definitely a different man from the Fitz that Simmons knew, but Mac never knew the old Fitz. He says she needs to get used to the new Fitz. Simmons wants to tell Mac why she left, but Mac doesn’t want to hear it. He says that the only thing that makes Fitz worse is her. She agrees. That’s why she left.
Hunter is leaving the team. Bobbie wishes him well, and hints he should stay.
There’s a big squad of guys there to take Ward form the stronghold.  Simmons stares Ward in the eyes while he’s marched out. Simmons tells Ward that she’ll kill him if she ever sees them again. I think she’s serious. Coulson can’t even look Ward in the face.
Talbot takes Scarlotti into custody.
Christian Ward gives a press conference separating SHIELD from Hydra, and stating bluntly that Hydra is the threat. He comes clean about his brother being in Hydra.
Ward says to Coulson,”Tell Skye this doesn’t change anything. I’ll keep my promise.” Yeah, I don’t see Coulson relaying that message. On the truck out of town, Ward dislocates his thumbs, frees himself and fights ALL the guards in the truck with him.
At some tattoo shop, some guys is getting all that alien writing tattooed on himself. Silly guy. Carve that into walls. Wait, who is this guy?
agents of shield s2e6 tattooed guy
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Tuesday Night Comics Podcast – Episode 46 – Dave returns! Multiversity Preview! Wytches 2 Review!

Dave is back! Fresh from his honeymoon, Dave has returned to the Tuesday Night Comics podcast to talk new comics with Billy. The guys preview new comic books coming out the week of Wednesday, November 19, 2014, including Multiversity: Pax Americana, Batman 66: The Lost Episode and Batman and Robin #36 . They also go into DC’s upcoming Convergence, delve into budgeting your comics buying, and review some recent books, including Scott Snyder and Jock’s excellent Wytches from Image Comics.
batman and robin 36 multiversity pax americana

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Tuesday Night Comics Podcast Episode 45 – Now With 100% More Alli!

batgirl 26 cover
Dave is on vacation this week for his honeymoon (Congrats Dave and Sarah!), and regular Nick is on vacation in the Pacific Northwest, but fear not! Billy has enlisted Dave’s groomsman and huge comics fan Alli to cohost this week’s episode of the Tuesday Night Comics podcast!
Billy and Alli talk about DC’s upcoming Convergence crossover (while also allotting some time to cover Bloodlines #BloodlinesNeverForget).
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The guys also preview comics coming out Wednesday, 11/12/14, including Scott Snyder’s Batman #36 and Wytches #2 and Cameron Stewart and Babs Tarr’s Batgirl #36. And if you love cosplay, this is the episode for you. Alli also talks cosplay, going over some projects his girlfriend Kim and he have made recently. To see some of the designs that Billy and Alli talk about, be sure to follow Kim Bishop Cosplay on Facebook. 
kim bishop cosplay thor
Alli is great, and I can’t wait to have him back on the podcast! I think you’ll love this episode! Give it a listen!  #SmellsLikeBloodlines

 

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Agents of SHIELD – S2E5 – A Hen in the Wolf House – Recap

The episode opens on a wedding. There’s a lot of guys in uniform at this wedding. The wedding guests, and the TV viewing audience, are being subjected to a terrible best man speech. One lady asks the waiter for something stronger than champagne, but the bartender gives him a stern “No way, Jose” look. That, and the fact that the catering staff is totally jacked has me thinking something is up. At the end of the toast, everyone drinks their champagne…everyone except the booze hound lady looking for something stronger. She made the right call, as the champagne has been poisoned. It looks like they drank liquid obelisk. For some reason, this scene reminds me of the Foo Fighters Learn to Fly video.

The catering crew takes off. They’re all Hydra agents reporting to that Hydra dude that works for Dr. Whitehall.

At the SHIELD hideout, May, Skye, Trip and Hunter give us some exposition on the dead wedding guests. A bunch of them were in a Navy anti-Hydra unit. When they enter Coulson’s office, he’s scratching his weird alien script into his desk. Skye notices and asks what it is. Coulson covers, and asks Skye if she found any info as to where the obelisk is located. She says that she put some feelers out to her Rising Tide contacts. Hey, remember Rising Tide? They were the group Skye was affiliated with when she was living out of her van at the start of the series. That’s a name we haven’t heard in some time.

In some back alley surgery room, Kyle MacLachlan, aka Skye’s dad, is removing a bullet from some dude while the dude’s friends watch. Raina enters. Those guys aren’t cool about it. Apparently, this is Kyle MacLachlan’s job, back alley surgeon. Raina begs him to give her the obelisk back. If he doesn’t, Daniel Whitehall will kill her. We get some weird insight into Raina’s past. Apparently Kyle MacLachlan found her on the street “clinging to some stories her grandmother told her.” It gets weird when she counters with, “You told me you’d make them come true.” I can’t wait for a Raina origin episode. Lesson learned in this scene: don’t piss Kyle MacLachlan off. He almost kills Raina by strangulation when she tells him things he doesn’t want to hear. Sorry Raina, but Kyle is keeping the obelisk. He suggests she beg to Daniel Whitehall (Hydra silver fox) instead of to him when Raina tells him that Daniel will kill her if she doesn’t return with it. The most interesting line of dialogue comes when Raina says “I really wanted to bring you Skye,” and Kyle responds, “That is not her name.” It would be kind of funny if her name is actually Sky. Or Skie. Speaking of names, I can’t remember Kyle MacLachlan’s character’s name at all. Were we ever told it?

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Over at Hydra Inc, Simmons and her boss are pulled into a meeting by Whitehall’s #2. I really wish I could remember his name. Whitehall is at the meeting too. Simmons’s boss tells her who Daniel Whitehall is, “one of Hydra’s new heads!” Hydra! Head! Get it? Oh man, that Simmons’s boss. Such a master of puns. Whitehall explains that the poisoned champagne was created  by using cells of the obelisk’s victims. Whitehall wants the obelisk. Whitehall calls out Simmons. He asks her where the doctor who created the obelisk champagne went wrong. Simmons makes it out of the meeting with her head intact. Simmons’s boss takes affront to Whitehall knowing her name and not his. But just when you feel bad for this piece of Hydra middle management, Simmons asks him if he understands that if they weaponize the obelisk, they may kill millions or billions of people, and he responds with, “Pretty awesome, huh?” Suddenly I won’t feel bad about this guy dying at some point in the future.

At Coulson’s SHIELD hideaway, Fitz notices Skye walk off with the painting from last episode, the one with the alien markings on the back. FigSimmons (FIGment of Fitz’s imagination SIMMONS) changes the topic to Mac’s physique and how nice it is. Fitz realizes that he must also think it’s nice, since FigSimmons is a figment of his imagination. But he doesn’t notice that she changed the topic away from Skye walking off with the painting, as if part of Fitz condoned what Skye was doing.  FigSimmons is excited that Fitz admitted she’s not real. She suggest he move on from her and embrace the real world.

Skye and Hunter are checking out the painting. Hunter once again mentions how much he and his ex fought. Enough already! We get it. Seriously, that’s 90% of his dialogue this episode and last. When he finally takes a break from complaining about his ex, he suggests Skye interrogate Ward.

Ward is creepily happy to see Skye. Ward tells Skye that Raina knows her father. Skye doesn’t believe him, and doesn’t want to hear any more about her father. She shows him a photo of the alien markings and asks him what he knows. He first saw it in Belarus and later when Garrett started etching it in glass. I wonder who the previous etching carver was. Skye is surprised to hear that Garrett carved markings like this. Ward shows concern when he thinks that Skye is making these, but she tells him that she isn’t the one making them.

Raina enters Hydra Inc and sees Simmons in the lobby. Raina is clearly intrigued by this. In a park, Simmons talks into a takeout menu that is actually a SHIELD communicator, warning them of Hydra’s plans to weaponize the obelisk. Raina watches from some trees.

Skye confronts Coulson. She figured out the Coulson is the one making the carvings. He explains that the first time he saw Garrett’s writings, it triggered something in him. He thinks it’s from his being injected with the GH formula, that alien formula that brought Coulson back fromt he dead. Skye points out she was injected with it too and hasn’t started carving any symbols. Coulson responds with that’s either very good or “an all-different kind of scary.” He admits that he’s been keeping Skye under observation. He suggests to Skye that she might have alien DNA. Skye doesn’t take the news that she might be an alien very well. May interrupts. There’s a call waiting for him. It’s Raina.

ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE, ADAM KULBERSH

At Hydra Inc, an alarm blares. Whitehall’s #2 is joined by…hey waitaminute is that Tyra from Friday Night Lights?!? It is Tyra from Friday Night Lights! Alright, Adrianne Palicki is on the show! She’s some kind of Hyrdra security chief. They order everyone away from their computers and announce they have a mole. Tyra (I’m going to keep calling her by her FNL character name until we’re told what her name is here) has Simmons’s takeout menu communicator. Simmons glances down at her open drawer, which has another takeout menu communicator sititing on top. Uh-oh.

hen in the wolf house bobbie

Thankfully, Tyra says that dude that reports to Whitehall’s name. It’s Bakshi. That’s much easier than “that dude that reports to Whitehall.” Tyra questions Simmons while Hydra agents search desks. What’s up with Tyra’s outfit. She’s wearing this weird Sgt. Pepper’s-esque jacket. Tyra asks about Gemma’s SHIELD background. Simmons says that her loyalty is to Hydra. She opens up Simmons’s drawer….no menu communicator! A Hydra agent does find one in Simmons’s boss’s desk. Wow, good job Simmons! Moving the menu during the commercial break from your desk to your boss’s without anyone noticing, despite being in a room full of armed Hydra agents. Move Simmons out of the lab and into the field. Simmons’s boss gets dragged off. Yeah, I don’t feel bad…

Cut to a fancy restaurant. Coulson is dining alone. Hunter is observing him from another table. Skye and May look on from the kitchen, much to the chef’s chagrin. Raina joins Coulson. He asks her where the obelisk is. She’s not forthcoming with its location. Raina threatens to email Hydra a picture of Simmons with the communicatior menu.

Simmons is calming herself down in the bathroom when Tyra creeps up on her and tells her she looks nervous. Simmons very rightfully points out that it might because she’s lurking right outside her stall. Tyra questions Simmons some more and calls her a bad liar.

At the restaurant, Coulson and Raina continue their standoff. Raina won’t send the pic to Hydra if Coulson gives her Skye. To show she’s serious, she starts a two minute timer. Raina tells Coulson that she wants to take Skye to meet her dad. Skye, listening in, understandably freaks. Coulson tells Raina no deal. Skye wants to give herself up. May isn’t about to let that happen. With second left…Coulson lets the timer hit zero. Man, that dude has balls.

Simmons returns from the bathroom just in time for everyone to get that email. Ruh-roh. Bakshi orders his team to drop her. Simmons books. As she rounds the corner, she sees Tyra and two guards approaching her. Oh no. Tyra whips out two escrima sticks and gives a beat down to her own men. Oh man, Adrianne Palicki’s Gi Joe training really paid off. But what’s with that pose at the end? Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad ass and all, but it seemed about as pointless as if she said “Ta-da!” Actually, I kind of wish she said “Ta-da!”  while striking this pose here. Tyra tells Simmons not to worry, Coulson has a plan.

bobbie morse ta da

At the restaurant, Raina is freaking out and Coulson is 100% calm. Raina can’t believe that Coulson would sacrifice a member of his team like that. Raina begs for Coulson to take her in, as Whitehall will kill her if she doesn’t bring him the obelisk.

At Hydra Inc, Tyra tells Simmons that she’s Bobbie Morse. Coulson sent her to keep an eye on Simmons. For those of you who don’t read comics, Bobbie Morse is the secret identity of Avengers member and former SHIELD agent Mockingbird. In the comics, she was married to Hawkeye for a while, but then she died, and then he died, and then they were both resurrected, and they decided to go their separate ways.

mockingbird

Bobbie leads Simmons to the roof, taking out Hydra agents along the way, including Bakshi. In the middle of a firefight on the roof, Bobbie and Simmons jump off the side of the building, landing on top of a cloaked Quinjet piloted by Trip. Simmons and Bobbie bond in the plane. I really hope Bobbie is a regular on the show. I was a fan of Mockingbird growing up, and I loved Friday Night Lights.

Raina gave Coulson Skye’s father’s address. While Coulson and May discuss their next move, Skye sneaks off to that address. She searches the place room to room, but doesn’t find him. He does find his picture on the ground, holding a baby who I assume is Skye. A hand reaches for her. It’s Coulson. Skye’s dad is watching in his car on his iPad from the feed from a hidden camera in a clock.

Skye gets the best line of the night when Hunter enters. She asks if he’s been drinking. He says he was working and needed to maintain his cover. Her response: “Your cover as what? Ron Burgundy?” May finds the bodies of the guy Skye’s dad was operating on, and his friends’ bodies too. May points out that two of them were killed with pure strength. Coulson notices a camera and stares at it. Skye’s dad finishes her line when she calls him a monster. Hmm, was he calling himself a monster or Coulson? Either way, he smashes the iPad and drives off.

At SHIELD’s secret base, Coulson greats Simmons, Bobbie and Trip. Simmons is psyched to be back. Coulson announces that he asked Bobbie to join the team. YES!

FitzSimmons reunite! YES! Fitz has to ask if it’s really her. She says of course it is. Hey, it’s a fair question all things considered.

Mac and Bobbie know each other. Apparently, Mac and Bobbie both like “three olive martinis. Hold the olives.” Wait, what? Why would you hold the olives? Crazy people. Hunter also knows Bobbie. They really know each other. Oh man, Bobbie is Lance Hunter’s ex-wife. Hahahaha, this is going to be good. I’m guessing Agents Morse and Barton (Hawkeye) haven’t been a couple in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Okay, quick Friday Night Lights connection here and then back to the show. On Friday Night Lights, Adrianne Palicki as Tyra dated Landry, who was always called Lance by Coach Taylor. Now on Agents of SHIELD, Adrianne Palicki’s Bobbie Morse is the ex-wife of Lance Hunter. I wonder if naming him Lance was an on purpose nod to FNL.

tyra and landry

Landry forever.

Coulson comes clean to Skye about his alien carvings, all of them. It’s a lot. He did a whole wall yesterday. He has no idea why he’s doing it or what it means. Skye has a theory. It’s a map. Dun! Dun! Dun!

Whitehall and Bakshi are overseeing the breaking down of the Hydra Inc lab when who walks in? Skye’s dad! For some reason, he walks with a bumbling walk. Not sure what that’s about. He stabs one guard and beats the other to death with a briefcase. He then wipes some blood off Whitehall’s desk with his sleeve. He looks crazier than Norman Osborn post-goblin serum. Inside the case in the obelisk. Skye’s dad tells Whitehall that in its native language, it’s called the Diviner. He even offers Whitehall to teach him how to survive its effects. Why? Because Skye’s dad wants help “killing Phil Coulson and…everyone else.” Okay, yeah, he’s cray cray.