Game of Thrones – S4E6 – The Laws of Gods and Men – Recap...

Welcome to another recap of Game of Thrones. There are SPOILERS below for the episode, so if you haven’t seen it yet, read no further. I have not read the books, so please keep your comments to things that have happened in the show only! No spoilers for future events, please! The episode opens with Stannis and his men sailing under a giant statue of a soldier in a kilt. What do they see when they look up? Whatever it was, it certainly seems to have put Stannis in a mood while he waits to see if his home loan was approved. Stannis has about as much luck at The Iron Bank as Magic Mike did. Too bad for Magic Mike, he didn’t have Davos, aka Captain Five Fingers, on his side. Captain Five Fingers certainly is loyal for a guy who used to be Captain Ten Fingers until Stannis came along. Having a guy whose fingers you cut off on your side apparently goes far with the Iron Bank. In the baths, Davos’s pal, the pirate (who I want to call Pirate Steve for some reason that I can’t explain), is telling some naked girls a joke that I’m pretty sure George RR Martin (or this episode’s writer) stole from a joke book I read in the third grade. I’ve definitely heard that joke before, just like the girls who he’s telling it to have. Ever wonder how Westorosians carry around all that pocket change they call money? It turns out it’s in those coin counters the dude at the arcade used to have. After Davos mentions the pirate’s wife in front of the naked girls, the pirate pal has the best line in the episode so far with “You’re not my friend,...

Game of Thrones – S4E2 – The Lion and the Rose – Recap...

Wow. Seriously, Wow. Well, I definitely did not see that one coming. But I’m getting ahead of myself. As I mentioned last week, I have a hard time keeping track of everyone’s name on the show, and I don’t want to Google people’s names and risk seeing spoilers, so bear with me and my use of nicknames. I haven’t read the books, so I’ll only be talking about what’s on the show. If you have read the books, please be cool and don’t spoil future events in the show. Spoilers after this cool picture of Walter White sitting on the iron throne. The episode starts out in the woods of Bolton country. Matchbox 20’s Robb Thomas is leading a hunting party after a blonde girl named Tansy. The hunting party is a brunette girl, Theon and two dogs trained by Michael Vick. Apparently they’re hunting Tansy because the brunette girl was jealous of her. It’s like Veronica’s sick fantasy about what do about Betty in an Archie comic. Betty/Tansy doesn’t make it. Pro tip: when being chased by hunting hounds, do not stop running. We cut to Tyrion and Jaime brunching together. Tyrion gives Cersei the best nickname, “The Mother of Madness.” Jaime laments that he can’t fight anymore, and can’t trust anyone to train him to fight left handed without someone blabbing. Tyrion says knows just the guy. Of course, we immediately cut to Best-Line Bronn, who is leading Jaime to a secluded platform by the cliffs to train him. And of course, Bronn lives up to his nickname when he explains to Jaime why he’s sure that no one will hear them while they’re training. Basically, this is where Bronn takes some big dude’s wife to have sex with her. She’s a...