Welcome to my v-e-r-y late recap* of Episode 2, Season 2 of Orphan Black, wherein we find out that Mrs. S. puts both Ss in badass and Felix coins the term #cloneclub much to the delight of BBC America’s social media manager.

Second rule of Clone Club: Felix is true Clone Club MVP, now and forever. All photos by Steve Wilkie for BBC America.
The show starts off by confirming that evil Eastern European clone Helena is definitely alive before switching to a meeting between Sarah, Art and Felix as they try to figure out how to get Kira back. Felix has managed to procure new clone phones with plastic neon green covers and somewhere some Etsy shop is reaping the benefits of Clone Club’s first rule of Clone Club: matching phone covers at all times. Just then, Kira happens to call Felix, Art tracks the call, and Art and Sarah are off to Kira’s presumed location.
By the way, does anyone else want the opening credits to have Tatiana Maslany’s name repeated 8 times? The woman deserves it!
We cut to an expository scene establishing that the religious Prolethean group (of which Helena is a part) is planning something sinister on a farm somewhere. Then we see Alison doing her best impression of Holly Golightly at Aynsley’s funeral, where all of her fellow Pleasantville soccer moms loudly gossip about “her nerve” in showing up. To recap, they don’t know that Alison was actually at the scene of Aynsley’s death, only that she slept with Aynsley’s husband. As Alison and her family are getting ready to leave the funeral, Alison catches a glance of husband Donnie’s phone and realizes—he’s actually her monitor, not Aynsley after all. Whoops.
At Dr. Leekie’s lab, Cosima and Delphine are being welcomed into the fold and both vowing that they are not colluding with Sarah. “I just want to make crazy science with you in our new lab,” Delphine purrs to Cosima in her silky French accent, which is totally the nerd way of saying “I want to get into your pants.” I’m sure Neil DeGrasse Tyson could confirm this.
Art and Sarah are now at the motel where Kira’s call came from. While Art gets sidetracked by Rachel’s lackey, Men in Black, Sarah goes to investigate the garage—where she promptly gets kidnapped herself and made to get into the trunk of a car.
One cliffhanger commercial break later, and we discover that Sarah’s kidnapper has brought her to, lo and behold, Mrs. S. who assures her that Kira is safe and that she’s on Sarah’s side. Sarah doesn’t look so convinced.
Cosima is being shown into her promised new lab where Dr. Leekie tells her she will be studying herself. Meanwhile, Alison is in rehearsals for her musical which, with its talk of bloody hands and cleaning brains off the wall, is apparently The Telltale Heart of community musical theater. During a break in rehearsal, Alison gets molested by the theater director and we are unfortunately denied the pleasure of seeing her kick his ass with a common household item (as is her M.O.) by the appearance of Felix—who introduces himself as her acting coach.
Come undone by singing her musical’s guilt-laden lyrics, Alison takes Felix aside and confesses that she was there when Aynsley died and that she essentially was responsible because she didn’t help her to get her scarf out of the garbage disposal. Meanwhile, she has since found out that Donnie is her real monitor.
Back to Mrs. S. and Sarah, and we find that they are in a commune of sorts where Mrs. S. took Sarah and Felix when they first left the U.K. She also reveals that she kidnapped Kira to “confuse the issue” and get her away from the people chasing Sarah. We meet Hippie Mother and Hippie Son, part of Mrs. S.’s “old network” who is helping them to disappear again
There’s a brief scene between Art and his partner Angela, where Angela reveals that there’s another Beth lookalike in the hospital. Art asks Angela to stay out of it. “You’re not going there,” he says. But, oh, Angela is totally going there. But by the time she gets to the hospital, Helena is gone. We see Prolethean Mark (see: Mad Men from the Episode 1 recap) pushing her out in a wheelchair.
Back at Ranch Prolithean, we see just-introduced Head Farmer (from here on out known as Big Love) talking to Tobias, also known as Helena’s self-flagellating keeper. Big Love explains to Tobias that Helena is not a synthetic clone but a genetic anomaly, a mirror. Her organs are reversed, a condition that sometimes happens with identical twins, and he demonstrates with a stethoscope that her heart is on the right side of her body. (Or, my new theory, the clones are all actually time lords who have two hearts. BAM! Doctors 13-27 all in one. Well played, BBC.)
Meanwhile, Alison has a plan for seeing if Donnie really is her monitor by making a fake phone call mentioning Sarah in front of him. On the other end of the line is Felix painting naked in a smock. And we are two for two in seeing Jordan Gavaris’ butt cheeks in this season of Orphan Black.
Donnie falls for the trap and follows Alison to Aynsley’s grave…where she has cleverly set up a meeting with a different Sara from her community theater group. He calls Dr. Leekie but the good (evil?) doctor senses the trap and tells him to hang up. Alison confronts Donnie and he makes a lame excuse about why he followed her. He tells Alison he loves her and leaves, letting the full depth of Donnie’s betrayal really sink in since he’s obviously been lying to her for probably their whole acquaintance.
Back at the commune, Mrs. S. tells Sarah that she plans on taking Kira back to London, but Sarah shows her the picture that her birth mom gave her of Project LEDA, saying that she was warned not to trust Mrs. S. Mrs. S denies knowing anything about the photo.
At Cosima’s lab, Delphine proceeds to make good on her promise to make it sexy science time before Rachel Duncan comes in and spoils their fun. Speaking to Cosima in private, Rachel reveals some of the health issues that have been plaguing Cosima and, as it turns out, all the clones—except for Sarah. She asks Cosima to find out why Sarah’s genome is so different than the rest of theirs.
At the commune, Sarah is putting Kira to bed and Kira admits that she doesn’t trust Mrs. S. That cinches the deal for Sarah who tries to escape the commune with her daughter via a pick-up truck with a severe transmission problem. The noise alerts Mrs. S. and the commune hippies. Hippie Son goes out to the truck with a shotgun, while Hippie Mom pulls a gun on Mrs. S. This is when Sarah’s foster mom shows her true colors and, with little fanfare, wrenches the gun away from the underestimating hippie and impales both her hands to the table with a knife and fork.
Running outside, Mrs. S. takes down Hippie Son with the gun, but lets Sarah and Kira drive by and escape. Going back in to talk to Hippie Mom, she finds out that they have joined the Prolotheans before she shoots her.
Alison calls Felix near tears, telling him that she now has proof that Donnie is her monitor. She asks him to come take her away, but he says that he’s going away with Sarah and Kira. He advises her to focus on her musical.
The show ends at Ranch Prolithean where we see Big Love systematically shoot Tobias after it becomes clear that he doesn’t believe Helena is not a synthetic.
This Episode’s Clone MVP: Cosima, because we still don’t know which side she’s really on, and for finding a way to make a science lab smutty. Also for making me go in search of her eye make-up tutorial right now.
Best Line Delivered by Felix: In response to Alison telling him that she killed Aynsley. “Aynsley wore a scarf in the kitchen.”
Best Line Delivered by a Character Other Than Felix: “I just want to make crazy science with you in our new lab.” – Delphine. I would like this to appear in an episode of Cosmos, ASAP.
*I was on vacation enjoying the amazing sites of Lisbon and Madrid. But be assured that I was totes on the lookout for a Spanish or Portuguese clone.
When I first saw Felix, I thought I was looking at Prince.