It was Halloween, so we threw on a horror movie. It was Human Centipede.

I don’t have much to say about Human Centipede, other than it was the most boring movie I’ve seen this year. I don’t know if there is another movie whose level of disgustingness and shock value is just as high as its level of sheer mind-numbing boringness.

I have no idea how I managed to stay awake through this entire movie. Human Centipede is a movie where nothing happens for entire scenes.

More happened in my last paragraph than in large parts of Human Centipede.

There was one exciting scene in Human Centipede, where one of the captured girls makes a break for it. Suspense was briefly high during that, but immediately grinds to a standstill once that scene ends.

If you decide to watch Human Centipede, you’ll need to pass the time. I recommend this drinking game. Take a drink every time Lindsay or Jenny addresses each other by name. You’ll be blackout drunk by 20 minute mark, with the plus side being you won’t remember any of this movie the next day.