Green Lantern (On The Couch 2012 #9)

As summer 2011 was approaching, with its hoard of superhero movies, I was excited for Green Lantern most of all. I am a huge fan of what Geoff Johns has done with Green Lantern since he started writing the character in 2004. When I found out that he was on set during the production of the movie, I had a feeling that we were in store for something amazing.

Unfortunately, my enthusiasm for the Green Lantern movie puttered out before I saw it in the theater. It got so many bad reviews from critics and people on the street that I figured this would be DC’s version of Daredevil. The only people I know who like this movie are the guys who work at my local comic book store, one of whom has worn a Green Lantern ring since before I met him AND has a Green Lantern tatoo. So maybe he’s a little biased. 

Basically, I missed it last summer and wasn’t that upset about it.
Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim are two of the writers on the Green Lantern screenplay, and Berlanti produced the movie, so I’m shocked how flat and boring the whole thing felt. Usually at the end of a Greg Berlanti production, the response in my house is “Damn you, Berlanti,” but it’s meant as a compliment for his uncanny ability at tugging on our heartstrings and manipulating our emotions. Here, any exclamations of “Damn you, Berlanti,” would just be about delivering a disappointing movie.

I think they should not have had Parallax be the main villain. Parallax bogged down the movie with cuts that had to be made to what it was doing in space, which was usually making an angry face. We could have done without all the exposition as to what Parallax was. These wasted minutes in long movie. Instead, the story should have been borrowed almost whole form from Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis’s excellent Green Lantern: Secret Origin comic book.

There were positives about the movie. I thought that Peter Sarsgaard was great as Hector Hammond. I think the movie in general would have been better off focusing on Hammond as the main villain, and Sinestro as Hal’s rival/future nemesis. But instead, I’m stuck on my couch wondering why we keep cutting back to a space cloud with a pouty face.

Go away, angry space cloud. You’re bringing down our green vibe.

Mark Strong was great as Sinestro. If I were involved in the production of this movie, my note would read, “More Mark Strong as Sinestro, less pouty space cloud Parallax.”

This is either Mark Strong, or Sinestro found his way into the bleed, made it to our earth and is hiding out in Hollywood. Crafty, Sinestro, very crafty.

In the past, I’ve liked Blake Lively in the roles I’ve seen here in. But while her last name might be Lively, she delivers a completely wooden, flat and basically DOA portrayal of Hal Jordan’s love interest Carol Ferris in Green Lantern. Carol Ferris is woman with a lot of spirit, but Blake Lively sounded like she was half asleep and reading off cue cards.

Blake Lively could have been replaced with a Blake Lively cutout to the same effect.

I still wish Nathan “Captain Tight Pants” Fillion was cast as Hal Jordan/Green Lantern, but at least we got him as Hal Jordan’s voice in Green Lantern: First Flight.

The best part of the Green Lantern movie is the scene after the credits start rolling. I liked that scene so much that I almost forgave the rest of the movie for being such a disappointment. Almost.