The episode opens on a wedding. There’s a lot of guys in uniform at this wedding. The wedding guests, and the TV viewing audience, are being subjected to a terrible best man speech. One lady asks the waiter for something stronger than champagne, but the bartender gives him a stern “No way, Jose” look. That, and the fact that the catering staff is totally jacked has me thinking something is up. At the end of the toast, everyone drinks their champagne…everyone except the booze hound lady looking for something stronger. She made the right call, as the champagne has been poisoned. It looks like they drank liquid obelisk. For some reason, this scene reminds me of the Foo Fighters Learn to Fly video.

The catering crew takes off. They’re all Hydra agents reporting to that Hydra dude that works for Dr. Whitehall.

At the SHIELD hideout, May, Skye, Trip and Hunter give us some exposition on the dead wedding guests. A bunch of them were in a Navy anti-Hydra unit. When they enter Coulson’s office, he’s scratching his weird alien script into his desk. Skye notices and asks what it is. Coulson covers, and asks Skye if she found any info as to where the obelisk is located. She says that she put some feelers out to her Rising Tide contacts. Hey, remember Rising Tide? They were the group Skye was affiliated with when she was living out of her van at the start of the series. That’s a name we haven’t heard in some time.

In some back alley surgery room, Kyle MacLachlan, aka Skye’s dad, is removing a bullet from some dude while the dude’s friends watch. Raina enters. Those guys aren’t cool about it. Apparently, this is Kyle MacLachlan’s job, back alley surgeon. Raina begs him to give her the obelisk back. If he doesn’t, Daniel Whitehall will kill her. We get some weird insight into Raina’s past. Apparently Kyle MacLachlan found her on the street “clinging to some stories her grandmother told her.” It gets weird when she counters with, “You told me you’d make them come true.” I can’t wait for a Raina origin episode. Lesson learned in this scene: don’t piss Kyle MacLachlan off. He almost kills Raina by strangulation when she tells him things he doesn’t want to hear. Sorry Raina, but Kyle is keeping the obelisk. He suggests she beg to Daniel Whitehall (Hydra silver fox) instead of to him when Raina tells him that Daniel will kill her if she doesn’t return with it. The most interesting line of dialogue comes when Raina says “I really wanted to bring you Skye,” and Kyle responds, “That is not her name.” It would be kind of funny if her name is actually Sky. Or Skie. Speaking of names, I can’t remember Kyle MacLachlan’s character’s name at all. Were we ever told it?

Over at Hydra Inc, Simmons and her boss are pulled into a meeting by Whitehall’s #2. I really wish I could remember his name. Whitehall is at the meeting too. Simmons’s boss tells her who Daniel Whitehall is, “one of Hydra’s new heads!” Hydra! Head! Get it? Oh man, that Simmons’s boss. Such a master of puns. Whitehall explains that the poisoned champagne was created  by using cells of the obelisk’s victims. Whitehall wants the obelisk. Whitehall calls out Simmons. He asks her where the doctor who created the obelisk champagne went wrong. Simmons makes it out of the meeting with her head intact. Simmons’s boss takes affront to Whitehall knowing her name and not his. But just when you feel bad for this piece of Hydra middle management, Simmons asks him if he understands that if they weaponize the obelisk, they may kill millions or billions of people, and he responds with, “Pretty awesome, huh?” Suddenly I won’t feel bad about this guy dying at some point in the future.

At Coulson’s SHIELD hideaway, Fitz notices Skye walk off with the painting from last episode, the one with the alien markings on the back. FigSimmons (FIGment of Fitz’s imagination SIMMONS) changes the topic to Mac’s physique and how nice it is. Fitz realizes that he must also think it’s nice, since FigSimmons is a figment of his imagination. But he doesn’t notice that she changed the topic away from Skye walking off with the painting, as if part of Fitz condoned what Skye was doing.  FigSimmons is excited that Fitz admitted she’s not real. She suggest he move on from her and embrace the real world.

Skye and Hunter are checking out the painting. Hunter once again mentions how much he and his ex fought. Enough already! We get it. Seriously, that’s 90% of his dialogue this episode and last. When he finally takes a break from complaining about his ex, he suggests Skye interrogate Ward.

Ward is creepily happy to see Skye. Ward tells Skye that Raina knows her father. Skye doesn’t believe him, and doesn’t want to hear any more about her father. She shows him a photo of the alien markings and asks him what he knows. He first saw it in Belarus and later when Garrett started etching it in glass. I wonder who the previous etching carver was. Skye is surprised to hear that Garrett carved markings like this. Ward shows concern when he thinks that Skye is making these, but she tells him that she isn’t the one making them.

Raina enters Hydra Inc and sees Simmons in the lobby. Raina is clearly intrigued by this. In a park, Simmons talks into a takeout menu that is actually a SHIELD communicator, warning them of Hydra’s plans to weaponize the obelisk. Raina watches from some trees.

Skye confronts Coulson. She figured out the Coulson is the one making the carvings. He explains that the first time he saw Garrett’s writings, it triggered something in him. He thinks it’s from his being injected with the GH formula, that alien formula that brought Coulson back fromt he dead. Skye points out she was injected with it too and hasn’t started carving any symbols. Coulson responds with that’s either very good or “an all-different kind of scary.” He admits that he’s been keeping Skye under observation. He suggests to Skye that she might have alien DNA. Skye doesn’t take the news that she might be an alien very well. May interrupts. There’s a call waiting for him. It’s Raina.

At Hydra Inc, an alarm blares. Whitehall’s #2 is joined by…hey waitaminute is that Tyra from Friday Night Lights?!? It is Tyra from Friday Night Lights! Alright, Adrianne Palicki is on the show! She’s some kind of Hyrdra security chief. They order everyone away from their computers and announce they have a mole. Tyra (I’m going to keep calling her by her FNL character name until we’re told what her name is here) has Simmons’s takeout menu communicator. Simmons glances down at her open drawer, which has another takeout menu communicator sititing on top. Uh-oh.

Thankfully, Tyra says that dude that reports to Whitehall’s name. It’s Bakshi. That’s much easier than “that dude that reports to Whitehall.” Tyra questions Simmons while Hydra agents search desks. What’s up with Tyra’s outfit. She’s wearing this weird Sgt. Pepper’s-esque jacket. Tyra asks about Gemma’s SHIELD background. Simmons says that her loyalty is to Hydra. She opens up Simmons’s drawer….no menu communicator! A Hydra agent does find one in Simmons’s boss’s desk. Wow, good job Simmons! Moving the menu during the commercial break from your desk to your boss’s without anyone noticing, despite being in a room full of armed Hydra agents. Move Simmons out of the lab and into the field. Simmons’s boss gets dragged off. Yeah, I don’t feel bad…

Cut to a fancy restaurant. Coulson is dining alone. Hunter is observing him from another table. Skye and May look on from the kitchen, much to the chef’s chagrin. Raina joins Coulson. He asks her where the obelisk is. She’s not forthcoming with its location. Raina threatens to email Hydra a picture of Simmons with the communicatior menu.

Simmons is calming herself down in the bathroom when Tyra creeps up on her and tells her she looks nervous. Simmons very rightfully points out that it might because she’s lurking right outside her stall. Tyra questions Simmons some more and calls her a bad liar.

At the restaurant, Coulson and Raina continue their standoff. Raina won’t send the pic to Hydra if Coulson gives her Skye. To show she’s serious, she starts a two minute timer. Raina tells Coulson that she wants to take Skye to meet her dad. Skye, listening in, understandably freaks. Coulson tells Raina no deal. Skye wants to give herself up. May isn’t about to let that happen. With second left…Coulson lets the timer hit zero. Man, that dude has balls.

Simmons returns from the bathroom just in time for everyone to get that email. Ruh-roh. Bakshi orders his team to drop her. Simmons books. As she rounds the corner, she sees Tyra and two guards approaching her. Oh no. Tyra whips out two escrima sticks and gives a beat down to her own men. Oh man, Adrianne Palicki’s Gi Joe training really paid off. But what’s with that pose at the end? Don’t get me wrong, it’s bad ass and all, but it seemed about as pointless as if she said “Ta-da!” Actually, I kind of wish she said “Ta-da!”  while striking this pose here. Tyra tells Simmons not to worry, Coulson has a plan.

At the restaurant, Raina is freaking out and Coulson is 100% calm. Raina can’t believe that Coulson would sacrifice a member of his team like that. Raina begs for Coulson to take her in, as Whitehall will kill her if she doesn’t bring him the obelisk.

At Hydra Inc, Tyra tells Simmons that she’s Bobbie Morse. Coulson sent her to keep an eye on Simmons. For those of you who don’t read comics, Bobbie Morse is the secret identity of Avengers member and former SHIELD agent Mockingbird. In the comics, she was married to Hawkeye for a while, but then she died, and then he died, and then they were both resurrected, and they decided to go their separate ways.

Bobbie leads Simmons to the roof, taking out Hydra agents along the way, including Bakshi. In the middle of a firefight on the roof, Bobbie and Simmons jump off the side of the building, landing on top of a cloaked Quinjet piloted by Trip. Simmons and Bobbie bond in the plane. I really hope Bobbie is a regular on the show. I was a fan of Mockingbird growing up, and I loved Friday Night Lights.

Raina gave Coulson Skye’s father’s address. While Coulson and May discuss their next move, Skye sneaks off to that address. She searches the place room to room, but doesn’t find him. He does find his picture on the ground, holding a baby who I assume is Skye. A hand reaches for her. It’s Coulson. Skye’s dad is watching in his car on his iPad from the feed from a hidden camera in a clock.

Skye gets the best line of the night when Hunter enters. She asks if he’s been drinking. He says he was working and needed to maintain his cover. Her response: “Your cover as what? Ron Burgundy?” May finds the bodies of the guy Skye’s dad was operating on, and his friends’ bodies too. May points out that two of them were killed with pure strength. Coulson notices a camera and stares at it. Skye’s dad finishes her line when she calls him a monster. Hmm, was he calling himself a monster or Coulson? Either way, he smashes the iPad and drives off.

At SHIELD’s secret base, Coulson greats Simmons, Bobbie and Trip. Simmons is psyched to be back. Coulson announces that he asked Bobbie to join the team. YES!

FitzSimmons reunite! YES! Fitz has to ask if it’s really her. She says of course it is. Hey, it’s a fair question all things considered.

Mac and Bobbie know each other. Apparently, Mac and Bobbie both like “three olive martinis. Hold the olives.” Wait, what? Why would you hold the olives? Crazy people. Hunter also knows Bobbie. They really know each other. Oh man, Bobbie is Lance Hunter’s ex-wife. Hahahaha, this is going to be good. I’m guessing Agents Morse and Barton (Hawkeye) haven’t been a couple in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Okay, quick Friday Night Lights connection here and then back to the show. On Friday Night Lights, Adrianne Palicki as Tyra dated Landry, who was always called Lance by Coach Taylor. Now on Agents of SHIELD, Adrianne Palicki’s Bobbie Morse is the ex-wife of Lance Hunter. I wonder if naming him Lance was an on purpose nod to FNL.

Coulson comes clean to Skye about his alien carvings, all of them. It’s a lot. He did a whole wall yesterday. He has no idea why he’s doing it or what it means. Skye has a theory. It’s a map. Dun! Dun! Dun!

Whitehall and Bakshi are overseeing the breaking down of the Hydra Inc lab when who walks in? Skye’s dad! For some reason, he walks with a bumbling walk. Not sure what that’s about. He stabs one guard and beats the other to death with a briefcase. He then wipes some blood off Whitehall’s desk with his sleeve. He looks crazier than Norman Osborn post-goblin serum. Inside the case in the obelisk. Skye’s dad tells Whitehall that in its native language, it’s called the Diviner. He even offers Whitehall to teach him how to survive its effects. Why? Because Skye’s dad wants help “killing Phil Coulson and…everyone else.” Okay, yeah, he’s cray cray.