Tag Archives: Kirsten Dunst

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The Amazing Spider-Man (At The Theater 2012 #8)

I’m of two minds about The Amazing Spider-Man, On the one hand, I thought the story was great. I’m a big fan of the Ultimate Spider-Man comic book, and I thought this movie was almost a direct adaptation of the first six issues of Bendis and Bagley’s Ultimate Spider-Man, just with the Lizard standing in for the Green Goblin and Gwen taking the place of Mary Jane. On the other hand, I felt like I wasn’t really watching a new movie, but rather a revised draft of 2002’s Spider-Man. There were some differences, but not enough to make it feel like it was a new movie.

That said, I thought Andrew Garfield was excellent as Peter Parker. I like that this Peter Parker wasn’t just a complete nerd, but still an outsider. It was Peter Parker by way of James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.

“You know something? You read too many comic books.”

I also thought Emma Stone was excellent at Gwen Stacey. She is such an improvement over Kirsten Dunst as in every way. I never understood the casting of Kirsten Dunst in Spider-Man. I think the only movie I liked her in was Bring It On. But I’ve loved Emma Stone in everything she’s been in, including this movie.

Adorable.

Their chemistry together worked so well.

The dialogue was great. I can’t decide which was my favorite line. It was either:

Mrs. Ritter: “Peter, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
Peter Parker: “But those are the best kind.”
or

Spider-Man: “Oh, no! You have found my weakness. Small knives!”

I have to say, as much as I liked The Amazing Spider-Man, I am very glad that I saw it before The Dark Knight Rises. Don’t get me wrong, I thought The Amazing Spider-Man was a great movie, but if I had seen The Dark Knight Rises before it, I may have had bigger issues with the issues I have with it.

The Lizard looked a little silly. I wish they had gone with a more long-snouted gator head, like in the comic. Here he looks like a hairless, green ape. Even a roided up Geico Gecco would have looked better.

Sir, you’re needed on the SyFy lot for their latest Friday night movie.

My biggest problem with the movie was the scene where the crane operator gets all of the cranes to swing in the same direction, so that Spider-Man is able to swing uptown easier. It took me out of the movie completely. It might be the cheesiest scene I’ve seen in a movie this year.

The worst!

In a year where we have The Avengers and The Dark Knight Rises, I feel like The Amazing Spider-Man may get swept under the rug and not remembered. It did well enough to merit a sequel, but I can’t help thinking it would have been the biggest or second biggest comic book movie of 2011 if it were released last year.

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At The Theater 2011 #15: Melancholia

Wow, that was a boring movie. Hard-core boring. Like Human Centipede boring. I’ve never rooted for a planet to smash into the earth the way I did in this movie. Dear Lars von Trier, how do you make a movie about a planet hitting the earth so boring?
This should be exciting!
I wanted to fall asleep in Melancholia, but I fought against it. And it was a hard fight. But I was convinced that if I fell asleep I would miss the one exciting scene in the movie. So I stayed awake for the whole movie. That exciting scene never came. I’m convinced half the theater was asleep when the credits were rolling.

I’m not going to completely hate on Melancholia. It’s a beautifully shot movie. It’s as beautiful as it is boring. The cinematographer deserves an award.

 SPOILERS FOLLOW AFTER THESE TWO BEAUTIFUL, BORING STILLS…
So beautiful…So boring…



Melancholia is told in two parts, each named after one of the two sisters in the movie. The first part, Justine, is about Kirsten Dunst’s character Justine’s wedding, held at the massive estate of her sister, Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her brother-in-law, John (Kiefer Sutherland). The wedding doesn’t go well. The bride and groom arrive hours late. Justine is never where she’s supposed to be. Oh, and she fucks some other guy on John’s lawn. So it’s not surprising when her new husband bolts at the end of the night. If only I had his foresight.

Don’t be fooled by the smiles. This is the wedding from hell.

The second part of the movie, Claire, is where the movie really becomes doused in Nyquil. Justine, super-depressed, moves in with Claire and John. Justine can’t take of herself, so Claire does. John seems to hate Justine, and as the movie progresses, so do I. Oh, and remember that entire first half of the movie you just watched? It has almost nothing to do with the second half.

When John realizes that the rogue planet Melancholia is not going to do a fly-by and will actually hit Earth, he offs himself. How could you betray me like that, John? Didn’t you think about the viewer, fighting as hard as he could to stay awake, clinging to your snark to get through the movie? Thanks for nothing, dick.

If you suffer from insomnia, Melancholia is a relatively cheap cure.