Tag Archives: Ewan McGregor

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Jack The Giant Slayer – Review

3/5 – An entertaining second half to our Nicholas Hoult double feature.

After watching Warm Bodies, we promptly snuck our way into the theater down the hall to catch Jack the Giant Slayer and make it a Nicholas Hoult double feature night. I didn’t have any particular desire to see Jack the Giant Slayer. If Nicholos Hoult wasn’t in it, we probably would have skipped it. It just seemed funny to base a movie night around him. Plus the movie was starting 5 minutes after Warm Bodies ended. It’s like they wanted us make it a double feature night.

Yes, this is the awkward kid from About a Boy.

I’m amazed we didn’t get caught sneaking into Jack the Giant Slayer. Two of us were lugging around yoga mats on our backs, so we weren’t necessarily inconspicuous. But we didn’t even register on the staff’s radar.  I guess the theater employees have better things to do than hunt down people sneaking their way into a very less than full theater.

Understandably, I wasn’t expecting to particularly enjoy a CGI-heavy live-action remake of the Jack and the Beanstalk story. Not being a child, I’m not in the target demographic. I was fully prepared to sneak out of Jack the Giant Slayer as quickly as we sneaked into it.

Perhaps that’s why I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed Jack the Giant Slayer. It’s a good movie.

Second head or well executed photo bomb?

I really liked how they reworked “Fee, fie, foe, fum.” for this movie. I thought that was pretty clever. I also thought Ewan McGregor was perfect as the knight Elmont. He seemed to be channeling his inner Cary Elwes in the role. There seemed to be a touch of the Dread Pirate Roberts in Elmont. The Tooch, Stanley Tucci, is also in the movie and was awesome, as usual.

Elmont, I want your hair.
 
Jack the Giant Slayer is not going to blow your socks off or walk away with any awards, and I doubt I’ll ever meet a person whose favorite movie is this one, but if you’re looking for an entertaining escapist film, you could do far worse.
After the movie, I took in another “double feature,” this time at the nearby Taco Bell to try both the Nacho Cheese Doritos Taco and the Cool Ranch Doritos Taco. The Cool Ranch taco wins, but that’s not saying much. Anything from Taco Bell has a low ceiling in terms of quality. And the weirdo crowd hanging out there at midnight on a Friday? You would have thought you were in a Mexican food themed Waffle House. I haven’t been inside a Taco Bell in years. I think it’s more likely I’ll find myself going to another Nicholas Hoult double feature in the movie theater before I make my next trip to Taco Bell.
If you have to have one, make it this one.
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On The Couch #13: The Men Who Stare at Goats

I couldn’t help but think of Lost while watching The Men Who Stare at Goats. If the Dharma Initiative were run by the US Army, I think the end result would be The New World Army.

The Dharma Army wants you!

Similar to the Dharma Initiative, The New World Army waas the US Army’s foray into psychic warfare. Soldier turned smelly hippie turned smelly hippie soldier Jeff Bridges writes a manual for unlocking the mind’s true potential, a program that consists mainly of yoga, tai chi, and moustache growing. It’s never stated explicitly, but if you have any desire to harness the true potential of your mind, it seems you have to grow a bitchin’ ‘stache.

Don’t be fooled by the hair, his power is in his moustache.

And man, what things the powers unlocked by a bitchin’ ‘stache can do! Kill goats by staring at them for a few hours, make clouds disappear by staring at them and possibly running through walls (though there’s always the risk your ‘stache isn’t bitchin’ enough yet and you just end up with a concussion).

The Lost parallel goes a little further. Half the movie is set in the present day, with Ewan McGregor playing a reporter researching what happened to The New World Army after its disbanding and the other half of the movie taking place in the past, showing Jeff Bridges’ recruitment and development of The New World Army. The main reason that Ewan McGregor is doing this research is because his wife in the movie, played by Rebecca Mader aka Charlotte from Lost, has cheated on him with his one-handed editor, and he feels he needs to prove himself in her eyes to win her back.

If you’re a Star Wars fan, you’ll have plenty to smile about. Besides, Ewan McGregor being in the film, The New World Army soldiers are called Jedi Warriors (because Regan had a thing for Star Wars). The best line in the movie has to be McGregor asking “What’s a Jedi?” Thankfully, in all the talk about psychic potential, there was no mention of midiclorians.

Maybe the Sith never would have won if Obi-Wan had this bitchin’ ‘stache.

A good bit of military intelligence comedy comes in the pitching of the idea to top military brass. The US has to do this, because the Soviets have begun researching the paranormal because they heard a rumor that the US is already doing it. Whether this rumor that the Soviets are actually doing it doesn’t matter, if the Soviets believe the US is conducting this research, then the US must, or else risk falling behind, but quite possibly the Soviets haven’t started this research either.

On another level, the movie is about the question where do old dogs go. The guys in the New World Army are filled with purpose during their recruitment and training in the 1980s, but seem out of place without the backing of a president who regularly saw a psychic for advice. In the present day, they’re wandering around, waiting for a purpose. Is this what getting old is about, regardless of bitchin’ ‘stache status?

Bitchin’ ‘stache K-Pax!

The Men Who Stare at Goats gets three stars on Netflix from me, which translates to I liked it. Before posting this, two friends already told me I was nuts for liking this movie though, so your mileage may vary.

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At The Theater #11: The Ghost Writer

Maybe it’s just me, but if the guy I’m replacing on a writing job died of suicide or homicide, I’d just as soon hold out for the next job. But that’s why I’m involved in so few murder mysteries. Thankfully The Ghost, Ewan McGregor’s unnamed character in The Ghost Writer, doesn’t have the same danger sense that I do, because The Ghost makes for a very entertaining thriller.

“I’m hear about a writing job. What? Oh the flaming skull aids in the rewrite process. I have references.”

The Ghost is tasked with rewriting the autobiography of Adam Lang, played by Pierce Brosnan. I’m not sure why they didn’t just name Lang Tony Blair. Come on, who are we trying to kid? Prime Minister who is often seen as being in the pocket of the US government? Brought his country into a war in the Middle East because Uncle Sam said so? Maybe they didn’t want to risk a lawsuit by Tony Blair, and Bony Tlair is too hard to pronounce. But Adam Lang is even more Tony Blair than The Other Minister from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince combined with Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister in Love, Actually.

Little Known Fact: This dance scene was choreographed by Tony Blair.

As soon as The Ghost arrives at Lang’s New England compound, the shit hits the fan: Lang is accused of war crimes, his wife heavily implies he’s having an affair with his secretary, and Lang doesn’t seem to be giving out factually correct answers to The Ghost’s questions.

Wrong Ghost

In the movie, Lang is possibly cheating on his wife, played by Oliva Williams, with his secretary, played by Kim Cattrall. You have to give credit to where credit it due on this one. You really have to try hard to make Kim Cattrall seem like a more viable sexual partner over Olivia Williams. But if you put Oliva Williams in enough dumpy outfits while giving her a sour enough disposition, it works. Speaking of Kim Cattrall, can someone explain to me her accent in this movie? Is this her doing British? It didn’t sound like her usual Samantha from Sex in the City voice; it just sounded weird.

My only problem with The Ghost Writer is that it’s a very slow build in a long movie, clocking in at 2:08. Overall it’s a good movie, but for a while there it seems that The Ghost is just spinning his wheels. This effectively shows the stonewalling he’s getting from his subject, but it really slows things down. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked this movie and think you should see it.

By the end of movie, you will be questioning who didn’t have a part in the conspiracy that’s jeopardizing The Ghost’s life. And I mean everybody: Lang, Lang’s wife, Lang’s mistress, the lady who made sandwiches for The Ghost each day, the guy who sold me popcorn in the lobby. Everybody.