Magic Mike – Review

magic mike poster

I found Magic Mike to be very interesting, mainly because of the way it was told. In most movies, we meet the hero as he’s starting off on a new adventure that takes him from the world he knows to a new and fantastic place. Think Luke Skywalker in Star Wars or Daniel in The Karate Kid.

However, in Magic Mike the main protagonist isn’t the guy new on the scene. If it was, the movie would be called Magic Adam. Magic Mike follows the story of Mike, the top male stripper in Tampa. Having Mike be the central character of the story felt like watching Star Wars if Ben Kenobi was the focus of the film.

I think this shift in focus is what makes Magic Mike so interesting. We’re not watching a guy at the top of his game be usurped by the new kid on the block. Mike discovers Adam, but at no point does it seem like Adam is going to overtake Mike. Hell, if it weren’t for Mike’s generosity and sense of friendship, Adam wouldn’t even be alive by the end of the film. Side note: who carries around $10,000 in drugs on them? Adam’s an idiot.

Seriously, Adam might be one of the most boneheaded characters in all of cinema. He combined his dumbassness with being fairly unlikable. He went from being a fuck up with no prospects to a fuck up with a drug problem and poor spending habits. Any time he got punched, I took a bit of schadenfreude-like glee from it.

matthew mcconoughey magic mike

Matthew McConaughey is amazing as Dallas.

I liked that Mike wasn’t just a meat head. He has a dream, to open up his own custom furniture business, but he doesn’t have the means to make it a reality. Dallas, played expertly by Matthew McConaughey, promises Mike equity once they move to a bigger and better club in Miami, but Mike’s not getting any younger, and the male stripper game definitely have a cut-off date, age wise. Then again, try telling that Kevin Nash’s character, Tarzan.

kevin nash tarzan magic mike

It fun seeing Kevin Nash in this movie, only because I didn’t know Kevin Nash acted. Not that Kevin Nash does much acting in this movie. He spends most of his non-dancing time passed out or squinting at someone. But while he didn’t have many lines, he was involved in one of the funniest parts of the movie, when the guys haze Adam on his first night in the club.

If there’s a weak link in this movie, it’s Adam’s sister and Mike love interest, Brooke, played by Cody Horn. I felt like the filmmakers couldn’t afford Anna Kendrick and that Julia Stiles turned them down. Her performance was often wooden. She didn’t show that spark that would have given her character a bit of life.

Your girlfriend has probably already seen Magic Mike at least once, and has probably raved about it to you. I can understand your hesitation at taking her recommendation for a movie featuring bare-assed ripped guys with a grain of salt, but that would be a mistake. Underneath the six pack abs and man-thongs is a movie with heart told from an unconventional point of view. Magic Mike is definitely worth watching.

Olivia Munn - Magic Mike

Did I forget to mention that a topless Olivia Munn is in Magic Mike?

GI Joe: Retaliation – Review

5/5 – COBRAAAAAAAAAAAA!

When I first saw the trailer for GI Joe: Retaliation, with its ninjas swinging from mountaintops, I thought “Man, this looks awesome,” immediately followed by “Man, I bet this is going to suck.” It’s a lesson that has been beaten into me by the previous GI Joe movie, the Transformers franchise. There are enough cool looking action scenes to cobble together a trailer that makes me want to see what ends up being a tremendously awful movie.

Despite feeling that I really should know better, I still wanted to see GI Joe: Retaliation. I missed it in the theater, but I caught it on Blu-ray recently.

I wish I saw it in the theater. It’s awesome. If you were a fan of the GI Joe cartoon and comic from the 1980s, you will love this movie. It is so evocative of the cartoon that I half-expected to hear Cold Slither on the movie’s soundtrack.

Dear Michael Bay: GI Joe: Retaliation is how you make a movie based on a 1980s franchise and not be accused of ruining people’s childhoods.

The movie was awesome from the moment I popped the disc in. When it loads, you choose your side, GI Joe or Cobra. Depending on which side you choose, you’ll see different clips and graphics on the menu screens. I thought it was a cool touch. Also, Cobraaaaaaaaaa!

In the behind the scenes special features included on the Blu-ray, it’s made clear why this GI Joe movie is so much better than the previous one. The main reason is director Jon Chu. He’s such a fan of the 1980s franchise and it comes through in the film. He pays a lot of fan service, but it’s not hollow. He’s putting this stuff in there because he’s a fan himself. I’m really hoping Chu sticks around for the next movie. Also, the producers wanted to ground it more in reality. Gone are the crazy super soldier suits and sci-fi vehicles. There’s still some cool tech in this movie, like Roadblock’s click-in, click-out arsenal, but overall, the weapons and vehicles in this movie seem much more grounded in real world technology.

As a fan of the TV show Friday Night Lights, I was super-excited when I realized that Lady Jaye was played by Adrianne Palicki, aka Tyra Collette. Seeing her kick ass in GI Joe: Retaliation made me wish that her Wonder Woman pilot had been picked up.

Hey! Wasn’t Scarlet the red head?

After realizing that Tyra was Lady Jaye, it struck me that quite a few notable Dillon graduates have gone on to the military, as both Riggins and Landry were in Battleship.

If there’s any disappointment to be had with GI Joe: Retaliation, it’s the casting of Rza as The Blind Master. I haven’t seen acting this wooden since Hayden Christensen in Star Wars: Episode II. His line delivery was beyond comical. He sounds like a guy imitating a Kung Fu movie. On the one hand, in the behind the scenes special features, he clearly comes across as a true fan of the Joes, and must have been crazy excited to be part of this movie. He even notes that The Blind Master has only appeared in the comics, never on the cartoon, so he was the first to give voice to him. But that voice is terrible! It sounds like a 10-year old voicing Doctor Doom. I couldn’t help but laugh every time he was saying his lines. Seriously, it was ridiculous.

The coolest to come out of Rza’s casting as The Blind Master?
Rza action figure!

DO NOT PASS JINX IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS!

Remember the original Jinx action figure that had red nail polish so you knew she was a girl ninja?
 

When GI Joe: Retaliation was delayed, I heard it was because of Channing Tatum being a much bigger star now than he was when the first movie was released. The producers realized that Tatum was arguably now the biggest star in the movie, and was being killed off very early on. The delay, as I heard, came from them rewriting, shooting new scenes and editing the movie so that Tatum lived. But then when I watched the movie, fully expecting Tatum’s Duke to survive, he totally bit it. So what’s up? Anyone know the real reason the movie was delayed from the theater for so long?

Who ordered the stripping soldiers? Because here they are!

I was kind of bummed when Cobra Commander kicked Destro out of the band. Not cool CC.

When Roadblock and Firefly faced off against each other, I thought, “Wait, isn’t Roadblock supposed to be the one with the Cajun accent?” And then I thought, “Wait, what exactly is Firefly’s accent? Is that southern? Australian? South Australian?” I liked that in a special feature on the Blu-Ray, they addressed the mystery of Firefly’s odd accent.

If you were a fan of the GI Joe: A Real American Hero cartoon from the 1980s and like your action movies to be fun, I think you’ll enjoy GI Joe: Retaliation.

Yo Joe!

21 Jump Street – Review

5/5 – Watch this movie!

When I first heard that 21 Jump Street, that beloved series from my youth, was being remade into a movie starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, I was more than leery about it. I was positive it would like the new GI Joe and Transformers movies and would take a giant dump on a TV show I loved as a kid.

I skipped it in the theaters and didn’t give it a second thought when it came out on DVD. But then, slowly, I kept hearing from friends whose opinions I trust that this movie is hilarious. Setting aside my trepidation, I rented 21 Jump Street.

My friends were right, this movie is hilarious.

I’m guessing there are a lot of guys who graduated in the late 90s
 who get to look back on this unfortunate look in their yearbook photo.

21 Jump Street is a great comedy. If you want to laugh, and laugh hard, for an hour and 49 minutes, rent this movie. It’s a movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously. There are a few meta jokes about current 80s revival and about the previous incarnation of Jump Street. Directors Phil Lord and Chris Miller also use title cards to a very funny effect. The title cards might be my favorite thing about this movie.

Awesome unicorn!

It’s crazy how much Dave Franco looks and sounds like his older brother James. Is he a clone? Has anyone seen his birth certificate? I’m guessing clone.

Project DAVE: The first human clone.

SPOILERS after the title card…you’ve been warned…

How awesome was it that Johnny Depp and Peter DeLuise reprised their roles as Officers Tom Hanson and Doug Penhall? I was excited when Holly Robinson showed up early in the movie, but the cameo by these two guys near the end was perfect! It’s too bad they won’t be in the sequel…
Fuck yeah, motherfucker!!!