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At The Theater #11: The Ghost Writer

Maybe it’s just me, but if the guy I’m replacing on a writing job died of suicide or homicide, I’d just as soon hold out for the next job. But that’s why I’m involved in so few murder mysteries. Thankfully The Ghost, Ewan McGregor’s unnamed character in The Ghost Writer, doesn’t have the same danger sense that I do, because The Ghost makes for a very entertaining thriller.

“I’m hear about a writing job. What? Oh the flaming skull aids in the rewrite process. I have references.”

The Ghost is tasked with rewriting the autobiography of Adam Lang, played by Pierce Brosnan. I’m not sure why they didn’t just name Lang Tony Blair. Come on, who are we trying to kid? Prime Minister who is often seen as being in the pocket of the US government? Brought his country into a war in the Middle East because Uncle Sam said so? Maybe they didn’t want to risk a lawsuit by Tony Blair, and Bony Tlair is too hard to pronounce. But Adam Lang is even more Tony Blair than The Other Minister from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince combined with Hugh Grant’s Prime Minister in Love, Actually.

Little Known Fact: This dance scene was choreographed by Tony Blair.

As soon as The Ghost arrives at Lang’s New England compound, the shit hits the fan: Lang is accused of war crimes, his wife heavily implies he’s having an affair with his secretary, and Lang doesn’t seem to be giving out factually correct answers to The Ghost’s questions.

Wrong Ghost

In the movie, Lang is possibly cheating on his wife, played by Oliva Williams, with his secretary, played by Kim Cattrall. You have to give credit to where credit it due on this one. You really have to try hard to make Kim Cattrall seem like a more viable sexual partner over Olivia Williams. But if you put Oliva Williams in enough dumpy outfits while giving her a sour enough disposition, it works. Speaking of Kim Cattrall, can someone explain to me her accent in this movie? Is this her doing British? It didn’t sound like her usual Samantha from Sex in the City voice; it just sounded weird.

My only problem with The Ghost Writer is that it’s a very slow build in a long movie, clocking in at 2:08. Overall it’s a good movie, but for a while there it seems that The Ghost is just spinning his wheels. This effectively shows the stonewalling he’s getting from his subject, but it really slows things down. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked this movie and think you should see it.

By the end of movie, you will be questioning who didn’t have a part in the conspiracy that’s jeopardizing The Ghost’s life. And I mean everybody: Lang, Lang’s wife, Lang’s mistress, the lady who made sandwiches for The Ghost each day, the guy who sold me popcorn in the lobby. Everybody.

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On The Couch #10: Zombieland

I feel sorry for the producers of World War Z. Is there any point to making a movie based on Max Brooks’s zombie outbreak book now that Zombieland is here? The stories are largely similar. Sure, Zombieland doesn’t have the worldwide scope that World War Z does, but it does a great job of capturing a lot of the elements that Brooks’s book did so well: the introverted loner who initially survives because he’s walled himself off from society, cross-country zombie hunting, and rules for staying alive in World War Z, er..I mean Zombieland.

I’m catching a theme running throughout the movies I’ve been watching on the couch lately. Food Inc. showed us how easily disease can spread when you have cows packed tight, wading in their own manure. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs showed the problems of trying to play God with your food. And now Zombieland tells us that the zombie outbreat was the result of a guy eating some tainted meat at a local fast food joint and quickly developing a taste for human flesh. The lesson is obvious; eat organic or become a brain-hungry creature of the night.

Zombieland proves how important it is to be ready for a zombie outbreak. True story: I was walking through Brooklyn one day on the phone with my girlfriend when I saw a limping, smelly, bloodshot-eyed guy shambling in my direction. I told my girlfriend “Either this guy is a crackhead or a zombie.” By the looks of him, I was guessing zombie. I instinctively looked around for a baseball bat, crowbar or shotgun…no luck. I made eye contact with the crackhead-zombie and he yelled “What are you looking at? I’ll kill you!” Whew, crisis averted. Everyone knows that if he was a zombie, he would have just said “Blaaaarggghhh…”

The unlikely heroes of Zombieland.

There are less than 10 credited roles in zombieland. The majority of the zombies are extras. Woody Harrelson is great as the bad-ass zombie killer Tallahassee. Superbad’s Emma Stone is equally bad-ass as zombie movie femme fatale Wichita.

Witchita: bangs + leather jacket + dark eyeshadow + shotgun = badass.

While watching Woody Harrelson fire off multiple firearms seems natural, the biggest casting surprise was Abigail Breslin as the shotgun wielding 12-year old Little Rock. It’s very entertaining to watch an actor take a 180-turn from what she’s known for, especially if the turn involves hunting zombies.

Is there anything creepier than a child zombie?

Jesse Eisenberg seems to be setting himself up as the go-to guy for when a movie can’t cast Michael Cera. In some scenes, he is so Michael Cera-like that the only thing separating the two of them is his bigger hair. Michael and Jesse should do a movie together. Would Youth in Revolt have been better if Francois was played by Jesse Eisenberg? Maybe not, but Michael Ceara and Not-Michael Cera really need some screentime to share.

You were awesome in Juno.

My favorite parts of Zombieland were the inventive use of titling throughout the movie that displayed on the screen showing Columbus’s rules of surviving in Zombieland. These would pop up any time that a character followed or, usually at the cost of their life, didn’t follow those rules.

There’s a reason there are so many fat zombies in Zombieland.

The special features on the Blu-ray aren’t too special. The deleted scenes were deleted for good reasons and the two making of featurettes spend most of the time showing you scenes you just watched in the movie. The main highlight of the making-of featurettes is Abigail Breslin complaining about how jealous she was of all the people in zombie make-up and how she begged the director constantly for her character to become a zombie in the end.

I’m giving Zombieland five stars on Netflix. It’s great. For the easily quesy among you, be forewarned the movie is very bloody right from the start. Looking back on it, the beginning of the movie seemed much more gory than the rest of the movie. Either they did a great mix of gore and humor throughout the film, or the they did a great job at desensitizing me to gore very quickly. Either way, kudos.
 

Batter up!

 
I think Bruce Springsteen sang it best:

Kids flash shotguns just like switchblades hustling for a Twinkie or two
The hungry and the hunted explode against the bat in his hand
They face off against each other out in the street
Down in Zom…bie…land

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At The Theater #10: Hot Tub Time Machine

The first time I saw an advertisement for Hot Tub Time Machine, a giant card board stand-up display, I thought I would skip this movie. Then I saw a trailer for it and thought that I would definitely skip this movie. But by the time I saw a third commercial for it, I was hooked and wanted to see it. I’m glad I did. Hot Tub Time Machine is hilarious. If you like funny movies, you’ll like this one.

My (and frequent TNM commenter Bryan’s)
first encounter with Hot Tub Time Machine.

Three friends, played by John Cusack, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry, whose lives are going nowhere go away for a weekend of planned debauchery at the ski resort that was the site of their teenage glory days. Unfortunately, the ski resort is in as rough shape as the three of them. This doesn’t stop them from boozing like madmen in their room’s hot tub, which goes back in time to 1986 when some Russian Red Bull knock-off gets spilled on the tub’s control panel. At first this seems a little ridiculous, but at the end of the day, I guess that doesn’t make any less sense than spinning a wheel to send a whole island back in time.

How many guys peed in this tub for it to become this yellow?

Like in Quantum Leap, the three guys look middle aged to themselves and to the viewer, but the mirror reveals them to look exactly like they did in 1986. The costume designer did a great job outfitting John Cusack in a dark brown duster and fingerless gloves; it was like watching the second coming of Lloyd Dobbler.

Time travel comedy alum and perpetually creepy Crispin Glover has a small role in this movie, playing the creepy (what else do you expect from Crispin Glover) one-armed bellhop Phil, who is twice as armed and much less creepy in the past. 1986-Phil is perhaps the least creepy Crispin Glover has come off since playing George McFly in Back to the Future. Nevertheless, his being in this movie feels like a passing of the torch.

“George, in the future you’re the creepiest actor alive.”

The movie hits both 1980s and time travel jokes. It’s like if you mixed The Wedding Singer with Back to the Future 2. Big cell phones, high-top fades and “I want my MTV” all make appearances. Rob Corddry, reading from the Biff Tannen playbook, learns the very good and very bad that can come from trying to either change the future or profit from future knowledge. Some of the funniest scenes in the movie are when Corddry succeeds or fails from trying to take advantage of what he knows from 2010.

Still the best time travel movie ever.

Also traveling with them to the past is Cusack’s character’s nephew Adam, who gets treated to seeing what his mom was like as a teenager. If Marty McFly taught us anything, it’s that this never goes well. The lesson to be learned here: if you ever find yourself flying backwards through time in a phone booth, a DeLorean or a hot tub, avoid seeing your parents; you’ll only be scarred.

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On The Couch #9: Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

I wish that 3D TV sets were on the market and that I owned one. Watching Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, it was obvious that this movie was made to be shown in 3D. There were plenty of scenes where I sat there thinking this would look a lot cooler in 3D, and I’m sure it did for people who saw it in the theater. I wonder if Avatar will have the same effect when it gets released on DVD. Will it be obvious that something is missing because it’s not in 3D?

This would look so much cooler in 3D.

I have to say I loved Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. The story revolves around almost-mad scientist Flint Lockwood, voiced by SNL’s Bill Hader, who wants to invent something that will put him up there with the big-name brains of the ages. There’s a great scene showing his childhood bedroom that is not decorated with bands or athlete posters, but instead posters of scientists; my favorite being Tesla Rocks. Flint also has enough daddy issues to get him trapped on the island in Lost. No matter what he does, his dad thinks he would be a better bait & tackle salesman than a scientist.

Flint Lockwood, in his last ditch attempt to become a great scientist, invents a machine that turns water into food. Through some high-paced hijinx, the machine ends up stuck in a cloud, causing it to rain whatever food Flint thinks of programming it to produce. The townspeople rejoice.

So sanitary.

It’s odd that the townspeople rejoice about this, considering how big the organic food movement has grown over the past few years. But as is explained early on in the movie, the locals eat nothing but sardines, so it makes sense that they’ll take anything over another sardine.

Eat organic or fall victim to the pasta-nado in the foodpocalype!

Anna Farris voices Sam Sparks, a TV reporter who makes it big by reporting about his town’s food storms. She’s also Flint’s love interest. They do a good job with her character, initially setting her up as a just another pretty face telling the weather, but deepen her by having it be that she was hiding her smarts because being smart wasn’t viewed as something cool growing up. I like the growth her character goes through over the course of the movie. She’s also the cause of my favorite line: “Yikes! What is that, a scrunchie? I haven’t seen one of those since 1995!”

What do you wear when a bacon front is moving in?

In a weird character modeling decision, Andy Samberg voices “Baby” Brent, but Flint Lockwood looks an awful lot like Andy Samberg. This led me to think he starred as the main character when I saw his name on the poster, and led to some confusion when Flint Lockwood had Bill Hader’s voice.

Mr. T voices the town’s head cop. Actually he might be the only cop; I didn’t see any others. Springfield has a bigger police force than Swallow Falls. I cannot express how excited I was when I heard Mr. T’s voice come out of the cop’s mouth. I was a huge Mr. T. fan growing up: I had his A-Team action figure, my first two initials are B.A., I thought wearing lots of gold chains was cool, and I pitied fools, oh how I pitied fools. I’m not kidding about the gold chain bit, as anyone who has seen my 8th grade yearbook photo can attest. That wasn’t a case of watching too many mafia movies; it was all Mr. T’s fault.
Mr. T: pitying fools & writing summons

Looking back at 2009, it was a very strong year for animated movies. I would put Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs up there with Up and Coraline as the best animated movies from last year not named The Fantastic Mr. Fox. You should check out Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, but I pity the fool who doesn’t watch it in 3D.

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At The Theater #9: Alice in Wonderland

Tim Burton’s very hyped, heavily advertised take on the Lewis Carroll classic is surprisingly light on  its Tim Burton. Sure, the surface elements are all there: the characters and their surroundings look weird. But for the most part, this is a by-the-numbers approach to Alice in Wonderland.

It’s so by-the-numbers that it comes across a bit pointless. Even the story doesn’t seem new, despite this being Alice’s second trip to Wonderland. Tim Burton must be working with the major theme of if you forget the past, you are doomed to repeat it; Alice at 19 finds herself going through the same motions as Alice at 6. She’s dismissed her earlier adventure in Wonderland, or Underland as she’s told it’s really called, as a bad dream. The Wonderland/Underland misnomer comes across as a one-off bit shoe-horned late in the film. Is there a point to Alice having the name wrong? Is Underland really a better name than Wonderland?

I don’t want to come across as too harsh against this movie, as I did enjoy it. Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter is the best performance in this role by someone not named Tom Petty. Although it is weird that the Tim Burtonized Mad Hatter makes Johnny Depp look surprisingly like Elijah Wood. Maybe Wood wasn’t available due to Hobbit commitments, or maybe Burton just thought Depp did a better Scottish accent, but still wanted that Elijah Wood look.

The Mad Hobbit

Speaking of people looking like other people, am I the only one who thought that Anne Hathaway’s White Queen looked a lot like Lady Gaga?

Rah rah rah ah ah ah! White Queen ooh la la!

I went to a 3D, but non-Imax showing of Alice in Wonderland. The 3D in the movie was cool. It wasn’t mind-blowing in the way that Avatar’s was, but they make good use of it, and I think the movie was better for it and is worth the extra fee. Theaters are charging $3 extra for the 3D version of the movie to cover the cost of glasses. I think they should waive that fee if you bring your own glasses from the last 3D movie you watched, but that’s not the case in any 3D theater I’ve been to so far. I guess it would be a logistical nightmare, or encourage dishonest practices by customers, or it’s just another revenue stream for them.

Christopher Lee, who has never played General Zod, voices the Jabberwocky. Christopher Lee will always be The Man Who Never Played General Zod to me, after so many years spent incorrectly believing him to be General Zod. He uses the same deep throated voice here that worked so well in playing villains like Saruman and not playing villains like General Zod.

If you decided to skip out on seeing Alice in Wonderland, you wouldn’t be missing much. Because really, at the end of the day, if Tom Petty isn’t the Mad Hatter or Geoffrey Holder, the old 7-Up guy, isn’t playing the Cheshire Cat, what’s the point?

Both of these Alice in Wonderlands freaked me out as a child much more than Tim Burton ever could:

Geoffry Holder as the Chesire Cat:

Tom Petty’s Don’t Come Around Here No More video:

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On The Couch #8: The Hurt Locker

Anyone thinking about enlisting in the military should be forced to watch The Hurt Locker. Chances are after seeing this movie, they’ll think twice about signing up. Unless they’re like SSG William James, an adrenaline junkie who consistently manages to get his team in as much trouble as he gets them out of. But unlike most action-war movies, Sergeant James’s actions aren’t glorified in any way. He’s technically proficient at what he does, but he, and those around him, pay the consequences for his decisions.

Those things will kill you.

The Hurt Locker is unapologetic look at life in the war in Iraq. Focusing on men in the army’s bomb squad, possibly the most dangerous assignment in Iraq, the film does an excellent job at getting the viewer into the heads of the soldiers serving in the unit. When the enemy looks and dresses the same as the friendly, the US soldiers are forced to be on constant, nerve-fraying high alert, knowing that anyone along the street, or watching from a rooftop, could be specifically there to kill them…or not. It’s that constant not knowing of who the enemy is that heightens the suspense in the film to so much.

After watching The Hurt Locker, I have a new appreciation for the men and women who serve in our armed forces fighting overseas. And I’m glad it’s not me. I also hope that any friends and family over there come home as soon as possible, and decide not to go back.

The only big stars in The Hurt Locker are Ralph Fiennes and Evangeline Lilly, both who make only cameos. I listened to an interview with Kathryn Bigelow where she said that it was a conscious decision not to cast big stars in the main roles, because she didn’t want the audience to think at any point that any of these characters could not die. She exceeded at that. The characters in the film are constantly put in harm’s way and not all of them live to see the end credits.

Ralph Fiennes in The Hurt Locker

The Oscars are only hours away and while the field for Best Picture has been opened up to 10 films this year, the popular opinion is that there are really only two contenders: The Hurt Locker and Avatar. Now that I have seen both, I think Avatar will win. I thought The Hurt Locker was a great movie, and I think that Kathryn Bigelow should win Best Director, but I liked Avatar more. In a truly just world though, The Hangover would take home Best Picture.

Movie of the Year
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At The Theater #8: A Single Man

A Single Man is a film about a man in mourning. It stars Colin Firth as George, a recently widowed gay college professor living in Los Angeles in the early 1960s. With the sudden death of his lover Jim, all the life seems to be taken out of George, both internally through his grief, and externally in that out of the two of them, Jim seems to have been the one with more fire in his soul. He ignited George, and now that he’s gone, George has gone cold.

A Single Man is a beautifully shot movie. Tom Ford utilizes color throughout the film to a very good effect. It’s easy to tell George’s emotional state regarding the world around him depending on how bright or muted the colors are in the scene. This really pops when George is in a good mood, providing some of the prettiest visuals in the film.

The problem with following a depressed man around for the course of a day is that it makes for at times a verrrrry slowwwwww moving movie. I didn’t fall asleep at any part during the movie, but if we had picked a later showtime, I might have been danger of fighting off some serious drowsiness.

I was a fan of the TV show Pushing Daisies, so it was a pleasant surprise to see a cameo from Lee Pace, who played Ned on the show. Here he is stodgy colleague of George who is obsessed with the cold war and impending nuclear holocaust. His scene is one of the two funniest scenes in the movie, when he explains to George why everyone needs a fallout shelter.

Ned!

The other big surprise about A Single Man was seeing Nicholas Hoult, the awkward kid from About a Boy, play Kenny in this movie. The surprise came from that he’s no longer awkward, has lost a lot of baby fat, and is, according to a couple of girls who also saw the movie, “very hot.” My date pointed out that this movie would be a lot more awkward if they cast the other guy from The Bridget Jones Diaries, Hugh Grant to play George. Because Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult starred together in About a Boy when Hoult was much younger, the two of them going skinny dipping here would have seemed especially weird.

For my female readership…enjoy.

The clothes in A Single Man are another big highlight of the movie. Everyone is dressed to the nines, even if they’re just in everyday clothes. But I guess if you have Tom Ford directing, that’s to be expected. I wish Tom Ford provided my clothes.

The main reason I went to see A Single Man is that it was nominated for Best Picture as this year’s Oscars, or so I thought. When I saw it, I thought “I don’t know if I would have nominated A Single Man for Best Picture at this year’s Academy Awards.” It looks like the Academy agreed with me, because it wasn’t A Single Man that was nominated for Best Picture, it was A Serious Man. Whoops.

Speaking of the Oscars, it doesn’t look like I’m going to see all the Best Picture contenders before tonight’s show. With only hours left until the broadcast, and The Hurt Locker, Blind Side, Precious and A Serious Man still to go, I think I may only have time for one. Since the battle for Best Picture seems to be between Avatar and The Hurt Locker, I think I’m going to go with that.

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On The Couch #7: Food Inc.

Food Inc. should be on everyone’s must see list. This documentary about how our food is produced in America is as startling as it is enlightening. This is a movie that will scare you more than a Friday the 13th marathon or the prospect of sitting through a Celine Dion concert.

The hypocrisy of our food producers are laid bare; they advertise “farm fresh,” but what we’re really consuming is generated at a place more akin to a factory assembly line. And the factory isn’t pretty. Cows, pigs and chickens are bred in such close quarters that they’re walking around in their own excrement. They’re cleaned at the slaughterhouse, but living a life of spending your days in their own feces seems to reveal why cases of e. coli and salmonella have risen so much over the years. If an infected cow is taking a dump at the feet of non-infected cows, it’s no surprise that infection spreads.

It will also make you look at hamburgers in a while new light. According to the movie, a single hamburger patty can have the meat of 1,000 cows in it, any of which might be infected with something. 1,000 cows! This didn’t scare me into becoming a vegetarian, but I might look a little more leery at my hamburger next time I’m at 5 Guys.

10,000 cows?

Another startling piece of information learned from watching Food Inc. is just how big a part corn plays in our food consumption. Corn, or a derivative of it, is used someway in about 90% of what you’ll find on your supermarket shelves. The main reason for this is that corn is subsidized to the point that it’s cheaper to buy it than it is to produce it. Corn is the main ingredient used in the feed of not only our livestock, but now also in farmed fish. When you get down to it, we’re becoming corn.

Like the previous night’s movie District 9, Food Inc. shows that when left unregulated by the government, big corporations show little care for human safety or livelihood when dollars are to be made.

Guess which one you had for dinner last night?

But Food Inc. exists not to scare us, but to educate us. The producers do a good job of showing alternatives to the food-factory system. Organic yogurt giant Stonyfield and small scale more naturally oriented livestock farmers are given a chance to show their alternatives to the big, corporate system…even though Stonyfield is now part of the big, corporate system.

Natual chicken farmer Joel Salatin

A final reason to see Food Inc.: Bruce Springsteen’s cover of This Land is Your Land plays during the closing credits. Alright, maybe that’s not a reason to see it, but it’s a nice bonus at the end.
Food Inc. continues Oscar week here at Tuesday Night Movies. It’s nominated for Best Documentary this year. I haven’t seen the other movies in that category, but this one is great, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it wins on Sunday.

Go out and rent Food Inc. If you have Netflix, it’s available for instant streaming. Just eat before you watch Food Inc., because you might not want to afterwards.

Okay, this is just scary.
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On The Couch #6: District 9

In the battle between District 9 and Avatar on which would make for a better date movie, Avatar wins hands down. Not because of the 3D, or the more attractive aliens, but because of Avatar’s lack of vomit. If I were to summarize District 9 in three words, it would be “too much vomit.” Someone seems to be upchucking every few minutes in the movie. It doesn’t matter if you’re human or alien; if you’re a character in the movie, there’s a good chance you’ll heave at some point. Even a robotic exoskeleton battle-suit throws up a couple of times. I didn’t know robots could barf!

If District 9 had a smaller special effects budget.

Once you get past all the ralphing, District 9 is a pretty cool movie. I like science fiction films that use aliens to highlight how shitty we can treat our fellow man. The aliens in District 9 are freaky looking, with a mother ship right out of Independence Day, but unlike the aliens on V, they’re not bent on world domination. They’re also not cute and cuddly like ET. They’re just trying to get by, living in their shantytown, dealing with prejudice from the local populace, getting screwed by the government and big corporations, selling outer space tech to the local Nigerian gang, and eating as much delicious cat food they can get their appendages on.

To be honest, I’m surprised there’s such a backlash against Avatar, but such a love for District 9. Both are about humans gaining an appreciation for the other side by becoming one of them. Both show that corporations care more about making money than doing the right thing. Both feature villains that are pulled from the action villain cliché book. So what is it? Does having Peter Jackson as a producer give it a certain amount of cache that James Cameron doesn’t carry any more? Did Titanic ruin Cameron for the sci-fi set?

By seeing District 9, I’m one step closer to seeing all 10 Best Picture nominations for this year’s Oscars. I’m a bit behind on that, having only seen 6 of 10. I’m behind on other things as well: behind at the theater and behind on the couch. I’m hoping to catch up on all three this week. Hurt Locker should be arriving in the mail from Netflix on Saturday, which leaves The Blind Side, Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire, and A Single Man to see in the theater by Sunday evening. Can I do it?

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At The Theater #7: The Last Station

Walking into the theater at The Angelika, I didn’t know anything about The Last Station other than James McAvoy stars in it. When I sat down, and was told it was about Tolstoy, I reaction was “Really?” Inside I was thinking “How did I let this happen? Great, time to prep for something boring and pretentious.” But as it turns out I need not have worried. The Last Station is a surprisingly humorous movie, especially considering that it’s a movie about Tolstoy. The movie features what will probably be the funniest sex scene of James McAvoy’s career. I did think it was weird that my companions and I were the only ones laughing during some scenes. Maybe the other theatergoers were also prepped for something boring and pretentious, and no amount of humor was going to rob them of that.

The scene right before this picture is worth the price of admission.

Christopher Plummer plays Tolstoy. This is the second movie this year that I thought Christopher Plummer was Ian McKellen. This is also the second movie where upon finding out he wasn’t Ian McKellen, I thought he was Christopher Lee. For some reason, I forgot Chrisopher Lee’s last name and thought Christopher Lee and Christopher Plummer were the same person. “He looks so different than when he played Saruman,” I’d think. “It must be because his beard is so much scragglier here than when it was so nicely combed in Lord of The Rings.” Because I thought Christopher Lee and Christopher Plummer were the same person, I found it very funny when one of the characters with a General Zod-like beard was on screen at the same time as Tolstoy. Luckily someone that looks like General Zod is funny no matter who is starring alongside him. It turns out not only is Christopher Plummer not Ian McKellen or Christopher Lee, he hasn’t played a wizard in any of the Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings movies. How is this possible?

Not Gandalf.

Helen Mirren plays Tolstoy’s wife Sofya. Helen Mirren is turning 65 this year. Is there any actress who is sexier at 65 than this woman? Good looking for her age seems like an insult. The woman is good looking.
♫Sexy and 65/My little Tolstoy queen♫

Beards play a very big role in The Last Station. If you’re wondering how important a male character is in the movie, just check the size of his beard. Tolstoy sports something that is Santa Claus meets ZZ Top, so it’s no wonder that everyone hangs on his every word. Paul Giamatti plays Vladamir Chertkov, Tolstoy’s Head Sycophant in Charge (HSIC). It’s only natural that he has the next most complicated beard, even having a line “There was a problem with the wax,” when questioned about the state of his moustache. James McAvoy’s Valentin Bulgakov is the new guy at the compound, so it makes sense that his beard is understated, about the same size as the General Zod clone who is of a similar rank as him in the Tolstoy compound.

“Son of Jor-El. Kneel before Tolstoy.”
This is not Christopher Plummer, but this beard does make an appearance in The Last Station.
I saw The Last Station at The Angelika Film Center. Like The Brooklyn Heights Cinema, The Angelika gets an A for their popcorn. Movies are $12.50 there, the same price as the Regal in Union Square. Is $12.50 the current standard price of movies in Manhattan? Have I been spoiled by Brooklyn, where $10 seemed steep just a couple of weeks ago?

The Last Station is at the bottom of my list of movies I’ve seen at the theater so far in 2010. But it’s a good movie and I recommend seeing it. I’ve just been lucky to see plenty of good movies so far this year. Hopefully this keeps up.