by

On the Couch 2011 #21: City Island

City Island is one of those movies that if you grew up in New York City, you need to see, especially if you grew up in an Italian section of one of the outer boroughs. The majority of the movie takes place on City Island, small former fishing village off the coast of the Bronx, but it’s not a Bronx movie. It could just have easily taken place in Brooklyn or Long Island City, Queens. This is one of those movies that I expect my relatives to enjoy, especially those in my parents’ generation, because the characters could easily be people they know.

The plot of City Island didn’t play out like I expected it to. When a cop makes the decision to take a con home to live with his family, it sounds like the makings of a Cape Fear-esque thriller. But City Island turns this plot device on its head. The young con, who is also unaware he is the son of the cop taking him home, serves as a character playing out the audience’s POV. He is the stranger in this very strange family, finding out their deceptions to each other, like husband and wife Andy Garcia and Julianna Margulies both lying to each other about quitting smoking. No one in the family is telling the truth to each other, with the exception of con Tony, played expertly by Steven Strait

Even reading must be done in secret on City Island. Shhhh.

There is plenty of humor to be found in City Island. Whether it’s Andy Garcia’s prison guard (er, I mean…Corrections Officer) turned actor Vince Rizzo attending his first audition or his teenage son finding out that the object of his internet affection lives directly across the street, you will find something to laugh at. The humor is sharp, and comments well on both the lies we tell ourselves and the lies we tell those closest to us.

City Island should be at the top of your movies to see at home list.

by

At The Theater 2011 #8: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

For more of my thoughts on the new Harry Potter movie, including who I think are the top 5 actors of the franchise, download episode 2 of my new podcast, The Billy and Bryan Show, available for free on iTunes! While you’re there, download the first episode too!

Unlike when I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, aka Hermione Granger and Red Dress of Awesomeness, I somehow managed to keep my awesome British accent in check while walking around in Harry Potter glasses before seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2, which surprised my friends who were bracing for a night full of cockney from me.

Sadly, the red dress of awesomeness was no where to be found in Hermione Granger and the Red Dress of Awesomeness Part 2. But we did get this outfit, so who am I to complain?

The new Harry Potter movie was great; the crowd that was in the movie theater with us was not. A big group of us caught it at the Union Square Regal on the Friday night of opening weekend. I found the staff at the Regal to be nice and friendly, but I cannot recommend going there to see a major blockbuster like this on opening weekend. There were about 8 people ahead of us on line on the sidewalk when we were let in, but somehow there was a mass of people already in the theater when we walked in. It seems that Regal had people queuing up on the sidewalk outside, while also having people on line next to the doors of the theater inside, and other people just hanging around inside waiting to pounce once people started being let in. Line management is not their forte. The other major frustration of the night was that the group of people behind us would not shut up throughout the entire movie. It was like they opened up a Regal Court St embassy in the middle of our theater in Union Square! My friend Sarv almost went all Umbridge on the people behind us!

I’m happy to report that I found the movie to be great. I made the conscious decision to not reread the book before seeing the movie, because even by splitting the book into two movies, I knew there would be some changes, plus I wanted to be surprised by what was happening on the screen. Before the movie started, the only things I remembered from the book were that Harry and Voldemort fight and 19 years later, Harry’s kids are heading off heading to Hogwarts.

Kiss him, you fool!

Speaking of the epilogue, I thought they did a good job with it, but man did they make the Hogwarts crew age in unflattering ways. Ron, what happened to you? Have your wife whip you up a fitness charm and get rid of that gut! Also, how are there any bald wizards in The Wizarding World? I’m looking at you, Draco Malfoy. You’d think male pattern baldness would have been eliminated centuries ago! Time travel? Check! Resurrections? Check! A cure for baldness? “Eh…we’re wizards, not miracle workers.” Hermione needs to tweak that polyjuice potion that went awry and turned her into Catgirl and market it to the folliclely challenged.

No more Hermione?!?! Noooo!!!
I’m going to miss heading to the theater with my friends for new Harry Potter movies. But I’m sure there will be more franchises that we’ll get wrapped up in, and more opening weekend outings. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was the movie I was anticipating since the beginning of the year. Now that it’s passed, I’m not sure what new or upcoming release to latch my excitement onto. Captain America? Cowboy and Aliens? Both look great, but I’m not counting down the days until I see them. Actually, I know what movie has just replaced Harry Potter in my Can’t Wait List…
by

At The Theater 2011 #7: Attack the Block

Saw the new Harry Potter and are still jonesing for a cast of Brits fighting against the unworldly? Then you need to go see Attack the Block.

It was hard to get behind the protagonists initially in Attack of the Block. They start the movie robbing a woman at knife point and follow that up by acting like the loud, obnoxious teenagers that they are. I won’t lie, for a little while I was rooting for the aliens to dismember them and took a fair amount of glee when the aliens took out the teen who I found the most annoying. The aliens aren’t picky about who they kill though; a likable character is just as likely to buy it as a highly unlikeable one. Well, maybe not just as likely, but still very high.

The aliens are very cool looking in Attack the Block. They’re these eyeless ape-dog hybrids with rows and rows sharp, iridescent teeth and fur that’s darker than the night. They’re vicious, speedy and deadly, which made for a movie full of great thrills.

Nick Frost is hilarious as a constantly stoned pot dealer.

I’m used to Nick Frost movies being really funny, but Attack the Block doesn’t have as much humor as Shaun of the Dead or Hot Fuzz did, and if you go to this movie expecting amount of humor from those movies, you might be disappointed. But it works great as a thriller. If you’re a fan of movies like Gremlins or Aliens, I highly recommend it. Catch it while you can in the theater.
by

At The Theater 2011 #6: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Originally, The Rocky Horror Picture Show was supposed be 1 of the 52 movies I saw in 2010. There are weekly midnight screenings of it at Chelsea’s Clearview on Fridays and Saturdays. Asking people to dress up in skimpy costumes in December seemed cruel though, so I held out until the summer. Plus, if I learned anything from one of my friends, it’s that you can get people to dress up in costume if it’s your birthday.

I wanted to dress in costume. I knew people did this from my first exposure to Rocky Horror, an old episode of The Drew Carey Show. I couldn’t decide on a costume though. I put this outing together kind of last minute, so I didn’t have time to get too elaborate. My penchant for wearing costumes that don’t require wearing a shirt had me considering heading to American Apparel for some gold-lame briefs. My next idea was to get silk American flag boxer shorts, a pair of boxing gloves and a fake moustache and go as Apollo Creed from Rocky. I’d walk into the theater, look confused and realize I picked the wrong Rocky. In the end, I decided to go as Brad when I realized I had most of his costume in my apartment already. Ah, the path of least resistance, how I adore thee. The hot June weather would have totally justified going the Brad in his undershorts route, but instead I decided to wear dress pants, a dress shirt and a blue sweater. Because nothing says “Hello, June in New York” like a sweater. I had no tan windbreaker, but figured I looked Brad enough to get by.

Before the movie, we hung out at the Trailer Park Bar, picked for its choice location of being directly across the street from Clearview’s Chelsea in case anyone in our group went with a more risqué costume and didn’t want to walk far in it. We were barely in the bar for a minute before someone asked if we were dressed up for Rocky Horror. We responded that we were. It turned out that the woman asking us this from the New York Cast and asked if we’d take a picture with the other actors in the cast. They were all extremely nice. Their Brad even said he would have lent me a tan windbreaker if he knew I needed one. Cool people all around. We even met a guy from the Pittsburgh cast who was in town to check out the NYC cast.

The energy at the Saturday, June 25 show was amazing. The NY State gay marriage bill was passed less than 24 hours earlier, which definitely had people in a good mood. There was a dance party before the movie started and a contest for Rocky Horror virgins on who could make the best orgasm noise. I went second, and went with a quiet “Oh. Sorry. I swear this never happens.” I was totally robbed of the first place prize by a overweight South American yelling “Ay, papi!.” Now I know how Daughtry felt losing to whomever Daughtry lost to on American Idol.

Saturday, June 25 was in the middle of Pride weekend, so this live show was played by an all-male cast, dubbed The Rocky Homo Picture Show for the night. The cast was awesom!. They had all the parts down. There were more Lord of the Rings references than I expected in the live show, but I guess that’s to be expected when your Rocky is the size of a Hobbit.

The all-male duo Brad and Janet.

If you sit on the aisle, take heed: there’s a decent chance Hobbit Rocky will jump on your lap or you’ll get a close-up view of Frankenfurter’s crotch. Was it because I was on the aisle? In costume? Or both? In any case, I’m not complaining. If you’re going to get freaked out by a transvestite transsexual from sexy Transylvania gyrating in front of you, maybe you picked the wrong midnight movie.

The Greek chorus was jarring at first. It was like listening to Riff Trax if Riff Trax had much more people and a potty mouth. After some time, I managed to tune them out while still picking up on their better one-liners.

Down in front!

Our group of 13 people came ready for the movie with the necessary fan-participation props: newspapers, rice, toast and confetti. We missed the toast cue, but that worked out as I was then able to spend a few minutes throwing toast bits at friends, the South American guy who robbed me in the orgasm contest and a girl across the aisle who fell asleep. How does anybody fall asleep during this show?!

I have nothing but praise for all the actors in this production! It was so much fun!

Go see Rocky Horror at Chelsea’s Clearview. It’s an awesome experience. If, like me, this would be your first time seeing it, this is definitely the way to go. Just bring some friends along to explain the parts that don’t make sense. But really, those parts probably won’t make sense to them either. Tickets are only $9, which gets you a movie and live show. As The Who once sang, I call that a bargain. You can find more details about the weekend midnight shows of The Rocky Horror Picture Show at Chelsea’s Clearview at the New York Rocky Horror website.

by

San Diego Comic-Con Highlights

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to make it out to San Diego for Comic-Con this year. Fortunately, I was glued to the internet all weekend as news was coming down the pipe and have these cool movie bits to share with you.

The Avengers movie poster!

This A with the arrow logo isn’t there to excite the average film goer. It’s for the diehards, the fanboys, the guys and girls who immediately know what that A with the arrow is as soon as they see it. I’m one of them and I’m excited. And it says Assemble. I’m even more excited!

Big thanks to Dave Tomko for leading me to this…the full Avengers team poster! (From bleedingcool.com)
Summer 2012 seriously can’t get here soon enough!

DC is adapting The Dark Knight Returns into an animated feature!

This has the potential of being HUGE…and the potential for being a huge letdown. But man, could you ask for better source material than Frank Miller’s classic from the 1980s. This is to me,  and I’m sure other fans as well, THE Batman story. DC has improved a lot lately with their animated offerings and their latest Batman one, Under the Red Hood, is their best in show. Hopefully they pull out all the stops for The Dark Knight Returns. Needless to say, when this is released, I will definitely be reviewing it. Is it too early to add it to my queue?

The surprise at The Amazing Spider-Man movie panel!

This was the show stealer at San Diego. If you haven’t watched this clip, WATCH IT NOW! It’s definitely my favorite clip from the con.

I can’t wait for next summer’s movies!

Between The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, and The Dark Knight Rises, I am ridiculously psyched for next summer’s movies! Joss on Avengers! More Bale/Nolan Batman! And two of my favorite new actors, Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield starring in Spider-Man! Can it be Summer 2012 now, please?

I do plan on being at New York Comic Con in October, where I’ll bring you first hand accounts of movie announcements and previews, of which I’m sure there will be plenty!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog…

by

At The Theater 2011 #5: The Conspirator

Just before the lights went down in a theater that had only three people in it, a couple decided that the seats they needed to have were the ones right in front of us. It was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 all over again, except more ridiculous. We waited a minute, got up and sat directly in front of them. I feared this would lead to a leapfrogging in response by the other couple. If they did leapfrog us, we could have leapfrogged them back until we were in the first two rows of the theater, but really we would have just gone back to our original seats, now with them an acceptable three rows away. But they just sat there. It felt awesome. I highly recommend pulling this move if ever confronted with the same situation.

I enjoyed The Conspirator. It is definitely better than its score of 56 on Rotten Tomatoes would lead you to believe. It was like watching To Kill a Mockingbird set in the Civil War. James McAvoy plays a retired Union soldier turned lawyer who ends up defending Mary Surratt, the lone woman charged as a co-conspirator in the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

The Conspirator has a very strong cast. Big stars all around. James McAvoy, Robin Wright, Kevin Kline, Tom Wilkinson, Evan Rachel Wood, Justin Long, Colm Meany and Alexis Bledel are all in the movie. The standout performer though might be Justin Long’s moustache, which completely stole every scene it was in. I don’t know if it was real or if it was pasted on, but if it was real, more power to you Mr. Long. That was some crazy moustache.

Speaking of moustaches, I noticed that James McAvoy, like me, can’t grow hair in the center of his upper lip. “Yes, I’m not a freak!”flashed through my mind, “a Hollywood sex symbol has the same thing!” I not longer feel like a freak for my bifurcated moustache!

Now if I just had his hair too…

We saw The Conspirator at Brooklyn Heights Cinemas, now under new ownership. There’s some new décor and in June they ran a promotion where all seats were $8 on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Hopefully they keep at least one of these discount days going in the future. The popcorn is still delicious and is still my number one in the city.

by

Talking Posters: Warner Bros Releases the First Teaser Poster for The Dark Knight Rises, The NSFW Poster for The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 Bus Poster

Unless you’ve been intentionally ignoring the internet today, or are an AT&T wireless customer (zing!), you’ve no doubt seen that Warner Brothers has released the first official teaser poster for the third Nolan-Bale Batman movie, The Dark Knight Rises.

I love this poster. I really like how the Bat Symbol is formed by the crumbling Gotham skyline. What does this image mean? Is Gotham going to be an even more decrepit place than it was in the last two movies? But wait, the Bat Symbol is a beautiful, blue sky. Does this mean that the Gotham of old has to be torn down, both figuratively and literally, for Batman’s goal of a brighter, safer Gotham to be realized?

I see this Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 poster every day on the side of a bus during my daily commute, and every time I look at it, it just looks weird to be. What’s up with Voldemort’s face? Why does it look like he’s belting out an aria? Judging by Harry’s reaction, Voldemort is tone deaf.

THE NEXT POSTER IS DEFINITELY NSFW. IF YOU’RE AT THE OFFICE OR AROUND LITTLE KIDS, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T SCROLL DOWN.

In case you were wondering whether or not the American version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo would have nudity in it, wonder no more, as even the poster for the movie has nudity in it. Your eyes don’t deceive you; that’s a nipple.


I’m putting the chances of you encountering this poster at a theater in the US at somewhere around zero. I’ve been to Europe a few times and never saw a movie poster with nudity there, but my experiences with seeing European movie posters was limited to public plazas and mass transit stations. I’ve never been inside a European movie theater. Is nudity in posters a common thing there? Does anyone know in which countries this poster is running?
by

At The Theater 2011 #4: X-Men: First Class

After the disappointments that were X-Men: The Last Stand and X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I am very happy to report that X-Men: First Class is a great movie. X2 is still my favorite of the franchise, but this gives the first X-Men serious competition for the number two ranking. The movie is like an awesome mash-up of the X-Men and classic Bond movies.

X-Men: First Class takes liberties with the formation of the X-Men. The only X-Man from the original comic book line-up is The Beast. There is an Angel, but it’s the Angel with insect wings from Grant Morrison’s run on the book, not Warren Worthington III. The other first recruits are Magneto, Havok, Darwin, Mystique and Banshee.
I’ve had fans of the X-Men comic tell me they don’t want to see the movie because of the inclusion of Azazel, the main villain from one of the most reviled stories in X-Men history; a story so bad it ruined Nightcrawler and Mystique for many people. All I can say is that the Azazel here is not the Azazel from the comics. In the movie, he’s basically just a red, mute, evil Nightcrawler. Since much of Azazel’s lameness in the comics came each of his dialogue, it should be considered a good thing that he doesn’t open his mouth in X-Men: First Class.

It’s interesting to see how this movie ties into the earlier X-men movies, which all take place after X-Men: First Class. Havok’s energy blasts are colored red here, and he’s a teen in the 1960s. I’m guessing we’re to assume that in the movies’ universe, Havok isn’t Cyclops’s brother, but is either his father or uncle. Azazel looks like the parts of Nightcrawler that don’t look like Mystique, making Azazel the leading candidate to be Nightcrawler’s father. At least the movie didn’t carry over the ancient races of demon-lookalike and angel-lookalike mutants from the comic book. Since Emma Frost was a child in X-Men Origins: Wolverine and is an adult in X-men: First Class, I think it’s safe to say that we’re all to ignore that X-men Origins: Wolverine ever happened. Fine by me.

I’m guessing the producers of X-Men: First Class cast January Jones as Emma Frost immediately after seeing this scene in Mad Men.

A couple of weeks ago, January Jones, who plays Emma Frost in X-men: First Class, made headlines because she felt she couldn’t live up to the image of Emma Frost, saying “In the amount of time I had to train, it just wasn’t possible to achieve that amount of muscle without losing all the good bits.” I think we can all agree that January Jones is 100% good bits. Who is complaining about how January Jones looks as Emma Frost? Seriously, I want names! This is ridiculous. Anyone who thought January Jones looked anything less than hot in this movie is on timeout. No more internet for them until they come to their senses.

If you’re complaining about January Jones not looking good enough to play Emma Frost, I don’t want to know you.

It’s interesting how much the cast of Mad Men is getting involved in comic book related projects. January Jones here, Elizabeth Moss plays a Green Lantern in the just released Green Lantern: Emerald Knights DVD and Christina Hendricks voiced Lois Lane in All-Star Superman. If only they cast Jon Hamm as Superman in the upcoming Superman movie.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s SuperHamm!

There are two cameos in the movie that I won’t go into detail on, because they took me completely by surprise and they were awesome. It’d be like ruining the cameo in Zombieland. Watch out for both of them. That’s all I’m going to say. There is also a slightly less awesome, but still cool cameo is by a young Storm, who appears during Xavier’s first use of Cerebro.

The Regal at Battery Park has become my go to theater for summer blockbusters. Five of us showed up a half hour early to see X-Men First Class and there were maybe 20 people there ahead of us. I could really get used to not having to plan on getting to the theater an hour or more early in order to get seats not in the front row. Plus, there is now a Shake Shack around the corner from the theater. Pro tip: Shake Shack is far more crowded than the Regal at Battery Park. Plan your movie watching/burger eating accordingly.

Lots of comic book movies this summer. So far I’m putting X-Men: First Class over Thor. Where will Green Lantern and Captain America show up on this list?

by

On The Couch 2011 #20: Hereafter

I didn’t know anything about Hereafter going into it other than that Matt Damon starred in it, Clint Eastwood directed it and it had something to do with the afterlife. In this case, I think going in fresh took away from the movie. This is mainly because I had no idea that the movie is about three separate characters’ stories, characters each living in separate countries, which gives them little opportunity to interact.

The catchiest depection of the afterlife, courtesy of Squirrel Nut Zippers

Despite an exciting opening scene, Hereafter quickly moves to a much slower pace. I think this hurt my enjoyment of the movie while watching it, because I kept wondering when George (played by Matt Damon), Marie (played by very accurately named Cecile de France) and Marcus (played by Frankie and/or George McLaren) were going to somehow interact with each other. It wasn’t until I accepted to just enjoy each storyline for itself that I really started getting into Hereafter.

Out of the three stories, I found Marie’s to be the most compelling. After a near-death experience, she experiences some kind of glimpse at an afterlife. Her attempts at convincing people of what she saw go about as well as one of your coworkers trying to convince your office of what she saw in her near death experience. Her character goes through the most dramatic changes, which is why I kept wanting Eastwood to go back to her story when he was focusing on George or Marcus.

Demetri Martin explains what you really see during near-death experiences.

If you believe that John Edward really has powers to communicate with the beyond, then Hereafter will probably be the movie for you, as it will largely confirm your beliefs. Not to say that the movie endorses Mr. Edward and his like in any way. Hereafter spends a fair amount of time warning believers that the majority of people claiming to have abilities to talk with the dead are delusional at best and scam artists out to take your money at worst.
 

South Park’s depiction of John Edward isn’t all too different from the portrayal of a similar psychic in Hereafter.

 
I enjoyed Hereafter enough. I gave it three stars on Netflix. It’s an interesting movie, but not one I’d go out of my way to recommend to people, unless the subject matter really appeals to them.

by

At The Theater 2011 #3: Bridesmaids

On paper, I shouldn’t have wanted to see Bridesmaids as much as I did. I usually don’t enjoy Kristin Wiig’s sketches on SNL, and wasn’t a huge Maya Rudolph fan for most of her tenure there too. I can’t sit through an episode of Mike & Molly without wondering why I haven’t changed the channel yet.

I can’t stand the Target Lady.

But I really wanted to see it in the weeks leading up to its release date. I attribute this to liking director Paul Feig. I loved Freaks and Geeks when it originally aired on TV. And I’d recommend his two books, Kick Me: Adventures in Adolescence and Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, to anyone who, like me, was a bit awkward growing up (okay, I was more than a bit awkward growing up).

Plus, Bridemaids had talk that it was Hangover-funny.

After seeing Bridesmaids, I’m a much bigger fan of Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph and Melissa McCarthy than I was beforehand (though still I don’t see myself getting amped for Mike & Molly Season 2).

Kristin Wiig and Annie Mumoto wrote a seriously funny screenplay that Paul Feig turned into a seriously funny movie. I don’t think there has ever been a wedding dress shopping scene anywhere near as funny as the one in Bridesmaids.

The laughter level caused by the aftermath of this dinner was off the charts.

Melissa McCarthy steals the show in Bridesmaids. Some of her best lines are in the trailer, but she has plenty of other great bits throughout the film. Wiig and Mumoto must have had a lot of fun writing her character.

I saw Bridesmaids at the West Hollywood Arclight in Los Angeles. Without a doubt, The Arclight is my favorite movie theater anywhere. It is such a pleasure to go to the movies there. You get to pick your seats when you buy your tickets online! A seating chart pops up and you choose your seats like you would for a flight. How cool is that? They don’t show commercials before the movie, just trailers. The ushers are friendly and will help you find your seat like you’re at a Broadway show. Before the movie starts, one of the ushers gives a speech welcoming everyone to the theater and says they’ll be sticking around for a few minutes to make sure the picture and sound are good. Why can’t we have this theater in New York City?! I would see every movie there.

Does your movie theater inspire you to jump for joy?

If you haven’t seen Bridesmaids yet, what are you waiting for? It’s the funniest movie I’ve seen this year, on the couch or at the theater.

WARNING: This is not the sequel to Bridesmaids!