February 27, 2017 by Billy Henehan

Justice League: Dark – Review

Are you a fanboy or fangirl who misses NBC’s short lived series about DC’s magical bad boy John Constantine? Then you need to get your hands on the recently released Justice League: Dark, DC’s latest offering from their animated film division. Constantine lead Matt Ryan returns to voice the character, who is the focal point of a new group of magic-based heroes brought together by Batman to deal with a problem out of the Justice League’s wheelhouse.

Ryan brings all the charm that he brought to the live action series to this voiceover work. He is definitely the standout in this movie and I am hoping this is not the last time we find him voicing Constantine.

The movie borrows from the early issues of the New 52 comics series Justice League: Dark. The team includes fan favorites like Zatanna, Deadman and Etrigan the Demon, and more obscure heroes like Black Orchid too.

The screenplay was written by legendary Justice League writer J.M. DeMatteis, and directed by DC Animation all-star Jay Oliva. Right there, you know DeMatteis is bringing both great humor and great drama to the script and Oliva is bringing the insanely well choreographed fight scenes that he’s known for. Neither gentleman disappointed. It’s interesting watching this movie with its more mystical fight scenes. I feel like this is out of Jay Oliva’s usual domain, which usually leans heavily on martial arts.

Producer James Tucker continues to prove why he was Bruce Timm’s rightful heir to the DC Animation throne. The worldbuilding that started in Justice League: War continues here, with a huge leap in characters this time. Most Justice League movies give us one or two new characters, but this movie gives us a whole squad (and brings in John Stewart briefly too!). Characters like Zatanna and The Demon haven’t been seen in animated fare since the JLU days.

Like every other DC animated movie, the special features are as good as the main movie. We get a Swamp Thing featurette on the Justice League: Dark disc. Swamp Thing’s co-creator, Len Wein, and a host of other creators who worked on the character are interviewed. The best part was listening to how Len Wein gushed over Kelly Jones when Kelly was first coming up in the industry, and how happy he was to work with him the recent Swamp Thing comic series.

I really liked Justice League: Dark, and definitely recommend buying it. There is a limited edition version that is worth picking up if you can find it. It includes a John Constantine figurine in the art style of this movie. Amazon has it for sale here.

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January 8, 2017 by Billy Henehan

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders – Review

Almost as if in answer to the darkness of Batman: The Killing Joke, on the heels of that movie comes the much more lighthearted Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders. Have you missed Adam West as Batman, Julie Newmar as Catwoman and Burt Ward as Robin? Then Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders is the movie for you!

I was hesitant about Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders when I first heard of it. Often when someone tries to recapture the magic of something that worked in a bygone era, it doesn’t translate well. There’s a fine balance between kitsch and schlock. But I really should not have been worried. At the helm of this movie is DC Animation head James Tucker, who has been producing quality animated movies ever since he took over the group from Bruce Timm and produced the excellent Justice League: War.

Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders captures all of the camp and magic that made the 1966 Batman TV series work so well. Tucker, who cowrote the screenplay, definitely captures the voices of Batman, Robin and their rogues very, very well. Thankfully, Adam West, Burt Ward and Julie Newmar are all still around to add some extra magic to the movie. All three actors came on board to play Batman, Robin and Catwoman respectively.

What really helps Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders work is that the movie pokes fun at itself too. Aunt Harriet’s musings about Bruce and Dick’s relationships seem like they could have been taken directly from an Ambiguously Gay Duo sketch from SNL. It’s interesting to think of the original Batman TV series inspiring that series of sketches, whose jokes seem to have inspired some of the bits in this movie.

<blockquote class=”instagram-media” data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version=”7″ style=” background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:658px; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% – 2px); width:calc(100% – 2px);”><div style=”padding:8px;”> <div style=” background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:50.0% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;”> <div style=” background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;”></div></div> <p style=” margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;”> <a href=”https://www.instagram.com/p/BN2BNYPldZQ/” style=” color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;” target=”_blank”>Dancing Batman wishes you a very happy Saturday! #batman</a></p> <p style=” color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;”>A video posted by Billy! (@impossibilly) on <time style=” font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;” datetime=”2016-12-10T16:53:55+00:00″>Dec 10, 2016 at 8:53am PST</time></p></div></blockquote> <script async defer src=”//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js”></script>

The actors in the movie who voice The Joker, The Riddler and The Penguin capture the original actors’ voices, cadence and spirit very well. And I especially like that the animators really went all out making the characters look like their live action counterparts, even including Caesar Romero’s whited-out mustache on The Joker.

I loved the way they incorporated, even briefly, many of the villains from the show, including all three actresses who played Catwoman over the span of the series.

The movie is rated PG, but I would have no problem showing this movie to a young child. The action is campy, and much more toned down than DC’s other animated Batman movies. There are some jokes intended for an adult audience, but I think those would pass kids by unnoticed.

If you grew up watching Batman reruns on the PIX-11 equivalent in your hometown, you will definitely want to check out Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders. It’s the perfect blend of nostalgia and new.

January 7, 2017 by Billy Henehan

NYCC’16: Sitting Down With Matt Ryan and the Team Behind Justice League: Dark

This January, DC Animation is spotlighting the occult heroes of the DC universe in Justice League: Dark. Like the team in the comics, this team deals with cases in the magical realm, cases that the main Justice League team isn’t adept at handling. Executive Producer James Tucker, Director Jay Oliva, Batman voice actor Jason O’Mara, Constantine voice actor Matt Ryan and character designer Phil Bourassa held a panel on Saturday on NYCC’s Main Stage and also sat down with The Beat beforehand to talk about the upcoming animated movie.

If there is anything about Justice League: Dark that people are talking about, it’s that Constantine TV series star Matt Ryan was cast to play Constantine in Justice League: Dark. When asked if it was difficult to play Constantine as a voice actor as opposed to live action, Matt Ryan replied, “Ultimately the DNA of the character is the same. I love the character so much. There is so much more to explore with him. With a character like that, I just feel lucky that I had the opportunity to play him. I thought about taking a trenchcoat with me to wear in the booth. I feel blessed to play him again.”

If Matt Ryan could play any other DC character? “Wonder Woman.” That’s right. Wonder Woman. You heard it here first.

Director Jay Oliva felt very lucky to get Matt Ryan cast as Constantine. He elaborated, “I never know what I’m going to be working on until they drop a script on my desk. They said you’re going to do Dark, and I asked if Swamp Thing was in it, and they said yes, and I asked is Constantine in it, and they said yes, and I asked if I could get Matt Ryan, and they said yes.”

Speaking of Swamp Thing, Jay confided that “We were trying to do a Swamp Thing direct to video for years and it never came to be,” so he was very happy to be able to include Swamp Thing in this movie. Designer Phil Bourassa did about a dozen concept drawings when coming up with the look of Swamp Thing for the movie. “I was just having so much fun with it. Finally, I had one I really liked and that’s the one I pitched to James Tucker and DC, and that’s the one they went with,” Phil said. Would he change the look for a Swamp Thing solo movie? “If we were to do a solo film with Swamp Thing, we might take a different approach. With these characters, they’re the freaks and the monsters. They’re more off the wall and bizarre. There’s much more latitude, like when we’re introducing villains. but we turn it on its head because they’re the heroes,” he elaborated.

As for the designs of the characters, “With Dark, I wanted to show what I would like to see in a live action version of these characters.” In regards to the special effects designs in the movie, Jay Oliva said, “I’m a huge Final Fantasy fan, so for the look of the magic, I looked at my old video games and took what I liked from them.”

Batman is the Justice League main team member who is also on the Dark team. Batman voice actor Jason O’Mara has played Batman in seven animated movies now. When asked what separates his portrayal of Batman from others who have donned the mantle of the caped crusader, O’Mara responded, “It’s the only one where he’s a father. In the Justice League, Batman can give out orders knowing that they’re adults, but sending your own son into danger, that’s a different thing.”

Who is Jason O’Mara’s favorite portrayal of Batman on-screen? Michael Keaton. O’Mara elaborated, “I always felt that Michael Keaton had a great balance. He was dark, but had a wry, mercurial sense of humor. I felt the other actors either went too much one way or the other. In Justice League: Dark, there’s a lot of opportunity for Batman to throw out some glib comments. I like my Batman. It’s in its own little corner. We’re in uncharted territory right now, in regards to his relationship with Damian. I’m interested to see where we’re going to go next with that.”

Executive Producer James Tucker with the promo poster for Justice League: Dark.

James Tucker said that his goal when taking the reigns of the animated DC universe from Bruce Timm “was to bring in more characters into TV. The best way to do it was to introduce them in existing titles. That’s the goal of using the main headliners to jumpstart the other franchises.” Will we see other mystical DC heroes like Lucifer brought into the animated universe anytime soon? James Tucker said, “Lucifer? Buy this one. We’ll get a sequel, and then yeah, sure. Yay, devil.”

January 7, 2017 by Billy Henehan

Stranger Things Panel – NYCC 2016

If you need proof that everyone and their mother is into the Netflix original series Stranger Things, then all you needed was to be at New York Comic Con’s Main Stage 1-D on Friday morning. Despite it being the first panel of the day, it was an overflow crowd in the largest panel room at the Javits Center.

There were only two guests at the panel, Millie Bobby Brown (Eleven) and David Harbour (Hopper). Not that the crowd minded. Each received a standing ovation. The moderator led them through a conversation behind the scenes of making season one of the hit Netflix original series.

When asked about the audition process, Millie said, “Eleven talking? No. I didn’t have to stare. I cried a lot in the audition. And that was it.” When they offered her the part, they told her. “We’re going to cut your hair off. Your name is Eleven. And you’re going to relate yourself to ET.”

David Harbour wore a hat to his audition. “I never do that,” he said. “But I thought this is a guy who likes to hide. The casting director said, “Hey man, do you want one without the hat?” And I said, “No, I’m good.” Obviously the hat worked.

In regards to finding the character of Eleven, Millie said, “When we were on set, I was like, I don’t know what to do, and then I was like, “I know what to do to break someone’s neck!” And Matt said “Never say that out loud again.” Good advice.

Millie had to have her head shaved on the day of the table read. Millie said that hair had gotten everywhere when they shaved her head, and she spent the entire table read scratching herself like a crazy person, because the cut hair that had stuck to her clothes was causing her to itch like mad. Though at the table read, her only lines were “Ugh” and “No.” Millie said she spent a lot of time thinking, “I’ve got to look like a child, but scary.”

Out of all the scenes, Millie said, “The bathtub scene was hard. I was like, “There’s a lot of salt in here.” But the most difficult shooting experience was with the Demogorgon. The suit that the actor wears who plays the Demogorgon is very thick. Because the suit was so thick, he couldn’t hear or feel anything. When Millie had a scene with him where she had to touch him on the back, he couldn’t feel her touch. The Duffers yelled at him to react, but he couldn’t hear him. Millie said something to him to get him to react and nothing, because he couldn’t even hear her. Eventually, they had to have someone kneel next to him and pinch his feet when it was time for him to turn.

Speaking of the Demogorgon, there were two toddlers on set, including Millie’s younger sibling. The Duffers had to tell the toddlers the Demogorgon was only a monster from Monsters Inc. And the toddlers said, “Okay!”

On the timing of Eleven’s nosebleeds, Millie said, “We’d load it (her nose) up. I’d say to the Duffers, “I’ll call action.” And I’d feel it (the blood) coming and say, “Action!” The timing was so good.”

In regards to playing a child from the 80s, Millie said, “It was good having David, and Wynona and Matthew Modine on set to tell me about the 80s. I was like, why don’t we just call Will on the phone?” And they were like, “No, Millie! You couldn’t do that back then!” The conversation then switched to the differences between how television is consumed now vs how it was then. David Harbour reminisced, “You know what I remember, when I was a kid, Michael Jackson’s Thriller video came out on MTV and my friends and I huddled around the TV for an hour waiting for it to come on.”

David Harbour was a huge D&D guy growing up in the 80s. Millie was surprised. “Wait, you placed D&D?” David responded, “Yeah, I’m a nerd. I’m a cleric. I’m a holy warrior of the light. A book in one hand and a big mace in the other.” Dungeons & Dragons is not Millie’s thing. “Dungeons and Dragons, can I relate it to Pokemon? Because I’m a Valor. It’s 2016. Be present. We play Pokemon Go now.” When asked if the cast played Dungeons & Dragons on set, David said, “If there was, I wasn’t invited!”

David commented that the cast and crew were amazed that Millie could put Eleven away when not filming. On the other hand, Hopper was close to David throughout the entire shoot, even when the cameras weren’t moving. “I don’t do the Jared Leto stuff of sending dead pigs to people. But I do have to carry it around with me. Atlanta is an easy place to be sad and lonely. I would just go home a lot and smoke cigarettes and dread my days. But it was good for the character,” said Harbour. Millie countered, “Your character is very sad and lonely, but you like coffee.” David questioned, “That’s happy thing?” Millie smiled while imitating him as she said, “But you always say, Flo get my coffee.” David then explained to the audience more of his method with acting around the kids off-camera. He said, “People ask about working with the kids. The first interaction I had with the kids was in the school telling them not to look for Will. That day, I was like, get my chair away from them. I don’t want to talk to them. At the time, they thought I was an angry weird dude.”

While the Upside Down looked creepy AF on the show, David said that in reality, “It’s super dorky. It doesn’t look like it does on the show. On the show, it’s amazing. On the set, there is bunch of purple piping that pulsates, so you feel like you’re in a bad haunted house. For the spores, there was a guy with a pillowcase filled with dandelion spores.”

Someone asked if the Stranger Things set was near The Walking Dead set. It turns out Millie is a HUGE Walking Dead fan. “I would have died if I was anywhere near the walking dead people,” she commented.

When asked which character from the show they would cosplay as, Millie said, “I might dress up as Poppa,” while David said, “I want to dress up as Barb.”

Speaking of Barb, David Harbour was very adamant when he said, “We won’t tell you anything about season two, but we will tie up some loose ends. And we will pursue justice for judge. I will assure everyone here that Barb is very much dead.”

David and Millie have a great give and take relationship with each other. This panel was a complete treat for any fans of Stranger Things lucky enough to get in the room.

October 7, 2016 by Billy Henehan

Jack Gleason Spotlight – NYCC 2016

Welcome to King Joffrey’s court! This panel was billed as a look back on Jack Gleason’s life an career, all twenty some odd years of it.

Jack said that his love for acting began because his two older sisters acted in the local community center, and he became interested. Jack joked that “if the community center had karate classes instead of acting classes, I might have got really into karate.”

The moderator brought up his first movie, the Matthew McConaughey movie, Reign of Fire. Jack immediately called it a “really mediocre movie.” When asked, “You can say that?” by the moderator, Jack responded, “I mean, who’s going to care?” Jack pissed himself on set, but thankfully no one noticed.

The moderator asked Jack about playing the part of Little Boy in Batman Begins. “He was christened Little Boy. His dad was John Boy.” How did that role come about? “As an actor you go to a lot of auditions, and sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t. And I got lucky.”

And then you got cast on Game of Thrones. “I thought you were going to talk about Shrooms, the Irish indie horror flick. I didn’t play Little Boy. I played Lonely Twin. Let’s not get into it. It’s not a good movie.

He said that at the Game of Thrones audition, he thought that it went well, but didn’t want to get his hopes up. He almost lost the part though, because filming of the pilot was supposed to take place during when Jack would have been taking the Irish equivalent of the SATs, and he couldn’t miss that. He thought he’d have to

Jack was asked if he read the books before they started filming? “I read the first book before we filmed the first season, but before I auditioned, I never had never heard of it. Because I’m an idiot.” When asked why he didn’t read past first book, he said, “Because I don’t have the attention span to read those kind of books. I was already studying Philosophy in University.”

When asked about his best scene, Jack responded, “I don’t know if there’s a scene where I did my best work, but the final scene that I appear in, Joffrey’s corpse is lying in the sept, and I just got to sleep for the whole day. That was amazing. I would literally fall asleep. They put those ceremonial stones on my eyes. I’d fall asleep and realize I shouldn’t have been, and there’s this acting going on around me. And I was like, (stiffens up). I don’t know if it was my best acting, but it was my favorite.”

“Shhhh, I’m trying to sleep here.”

Jack was asked if he looks up Joffrey’s demise. He responded that he did, immediately. Jack explained, “One of the first things I did when I got the part was, I looked up the Wikipedia entry on the character. When you get a job, if you know you’re going to get fired at some point, you would look up online when it would happen.” Was he upset to leave the show? No. He explained, “Four seasons is enough. Three seasons, two episodes, that was enough. I think everyone in the cast still loves performing and acting in the show, but my dad says to leave the party early, and not be the last at the party. I feel like I left at the right time.”

On Joffrey’s death scene, Jack said, “It’s very hard to try to pretend to choke to death. Has anyone here choked to death before? It’s hard to do that and make it convincing.”

When asked if which role he would have wanted to play besides Joffrey, “Probably Hodor. From an acting point of view, you only have to learn one line.”

Jack never watched Games of Thrones while he was on the show, because he doesn’t like to watch himself on screen. Did he pick up the show after Joffrey died? Jack joked, “No, it’s too much to catch up on. Even when I got the scripts, I would only read my own scenes. I’m selfish. Maybe I should get into it. I hear it’s good. It always wins Emmys. Maybe I should give it a shot.”

September 13, 2016 by Billy Henehan

All Hail Megatron

This happened earlier today.

INT. ELEVATOR – DAY

BILLY and VIOLET are riding the elevator with a MOM and her 8-year old SON. The son notices Billy’s shirt.

SON
MOM! That man is wearing a DECEPTICON shirt!

MOM
Don’t yell, dear. You’re going to scare the baby.

Violet is unfazed, as usual.

SON
But Mom, the Decepticons are the bad guys! (To Billy) Do you know you’re wearing a Decepticon shirt?!

BILLY
Yes.

SON
Did Megatron trick you into wearing that?

BILLY
No.

SON
But the Decepticons are the bad guys!

BILLY
I work for Megatron.

SON
He’s going to kill you. The Decepticons are the bad guys! You should switch to the Autobots!

The elevator door opens. Billy and Violet get off.

BILLY
The Decepticons are heroes. Optimus Prime and his Autobots are the real bad guys.

SON
No!

MOM
I think you just blew his mind.

BILLY
All hail Megatron.

The elevator door closes.

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September 13, 2016 by Billy Henehan

Batman Vs Superman: Dawn of Justice – Review

Going into Superman vs. Batman: Dawn of Justice, I had no time for the haters. I wrote off the detractors as people either still upset about Man of Steel or who haven’t seen anything Ben Affleck has been in since Daredevil. As an unapologetic Ben Affleck fan, I was psyched for Batfleck! You can keep your 15 year-old “You were da bomb in Phantoms!” joke. I love Ben Affleck. I love Batman. Get me to this movie.

I still remember seeing the trailer for Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice and being legitimately excited. The commercial made the movie look awesome. But I guess if you show only the 30 most exciting seconds of a movie, you can make the most boring movie look awesome.

And that’s just what they did.

Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice commits the most heinous crime that an action movie can commit: It is boring. I’m talking seriously boring. Fall asleep on your couch watching it boring. When I was watching the movie, I turned to a friend and said, “I feel like we’re just watching wheels spin.” He turned back to me and said, “That would mean the wheels were moving.” So much of the movie is expository, and it’s not even interesting exposition.

The most disappointing thing is how much potential the movie had to be good. At its core, Batman Vs. Superman can be described as Batman doesn’t think too highly of Superman after the climatic battle in Man of Steel. Lex Luthor uses this to get Superman and Batman to fight each other. But Wonder Woman gets the heroes to unite, because they need to stop a bigger threat down the road in the name of Darkseid. I would pay to see this movie. This is the movie I was so excited to see, I was tempted to leave my wife and newborn daughter home for a couple of hours while I snuck off to the movie theater. I am so glad I talked myself out of that idea. Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is not sneak off to the movie theater worthy. It’s not even Redbox worthy. I doubt it’s even HBO worthy (I mean, you could watch the first three episodes of The Night Of instead).

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is a worse movie than the recent Fantastic Four movie. I can’t think of a superhero that was crapped on worse than Fantastic Four. But I would gladly watch Fantastic Four again before sitting through another screening of Batman Vs. Superman. Maybe it’s because I had such low expectations for Fantastic Four, but had such hope for this movie to be good.

And what’s up with that Knightmare dream sequence? Sure, if you’re a fan of the comics, you undoubtedly found yourself explaining to your non-comic-reading friends what the Parademons where, and how the giant Omega symbol in the sand was signaling the coming of their master, DC’s big-time cosmic bad guy Darkseid. But since when did Batman get visions of the future? And what’s up with the costume under a trench coat paired with goggles look?

I can’t believe the amount of merchandising that’s come out of “Knightmare Batman.” Who honestly wants the Funko Pop Vinyl of Batman in a trench coat wearing goggles? In the future countdown list of worst Batman costumes, I see Knightmare Batman taking home the prize.

Sorry, Rainbow Suit Batman. You’re just not silly enough as Batman in goggles and a trench coat.

I was hoping to like Jesse Eisenberg’s portrayal of Lex Luthor. I liked the idea of Lex being updated as a cocky, Silicon Valley millionaire. Instead, we got Eisenberg channelling Frank Gorshin as The Riddler. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVED Frank Gorshin as The Riddler. But it didn’t work for Jim Carrey and it doesn’t work for Jesse Eisenberg here.

The movie fails on so many levels. Did I set my expectations too high? I don’t know. I don’t think expecting a superhero action movie to be exciting is an unreasonable expectation.

After watching Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice, I am seriously worried about the upcoming Justice League movie. If you take out the Nolan Batman movies, DC’s track record on live action movies looks abysmal in recent years, especially compared to Marvel. It is insane that when DC is doing such a great job with animation and live action TV that their live action movies would range between average to abysmal.

I have not watched the Ultimate Edition extended cut of Dawn of Justice. Can you blame me? The last thing this movie needs is more minutes padded onto it.

Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice is not a good movie. It’s not even a good bad movie. It’s as boring as it is long, and it is a long movie.

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May 24, 2016 by Billy Henehan

Game of Thrones – S6E4 – Book of the Stranger – Recap

Hi, and welcome to another installment of my Game of Thrones recaps. For any new readers, be forewarned, I like to use nicknames. It all started as a way to keep a bunch of characters who mostly looked alike straight in my head, but even now that I’ve read the books and know everyone’s name, in a few cases, the nicknames have stuck. I welcome any and all comments. And away we go…

We open on Jon Snow and Bear Claw, er, Longclaw. I don’t think I’ll ever not mistake the name of that sword with the name of Josh Gad’s semi-recurring character on New Girl. Edd is talking to Jon, trying to convince Jon to stay. But Jon is headed south. He’s been up at Wall long enough and wants to get warm. Edd is feeling abandoned. Just as Jon basically says nothing could keep him at the wall, Brienne, Sansa, and Pod show up at the gate. Well, almost nothing could keep you at the Wall, Jon.

Did everyone catch the way Tormund eyed Brienne? I am 100% shipping Redbeard/Brienne. Who’s with me? They need a good couple name. Who has a good one?

Jon and Sansa hug like they’re in November Project. #hugeveryone. They eat together for the first time since early in season one. Jon says, “We never should have left Winterfell.” Sansa agrees with him. Remember back in season one when Sansa was the worst? I mean, back then I think I liked her even less than Cersei and Joffrey, and Joffrey is pure evil! Aunt Lysa falling out the Moon Door was the best thing to happen to Sansa this series. After that, Sansa transformed herself. I remember last season telling a friend that I liked Sansa now and he looked at me in shock. Sansa Stark: no longer the worst.

Sansa wants to take back Winterfell from Ramsey Bolton. Jon is tired of fighting. He’s been fighting since he got to the Wall. He’s killed Wildlings, he’s killed his own brothers in the black. It’s all bringing him down. Even that jerk teenager who killed Ygritte, the same one who stabbed and helped to kill Jon, Jon feels bad about killing. Jon Snow: Mopey McMoperson. I almost want Sansa to slap some fire into him.

Outside, Davos is conversing with Smokey Vajayjay. Smokey is 100% #teamjon. Where Jon goes, Smokey will follow. Davos wants to know what happened to Shireen, Stannis’s daughter. He’s like 15% curious about what happened to Stannis and 85% needs to know right now if Shireen is okay. Brienne tells them that she killed Stannis. When Davos recognizes her but can’t place it, Brienne says that she served Renley and saw him murdered by Smokey Vajayjay’s vagina-smoke demon. And you thought HPV was dangerous! Brienne isn’t subtle at all in letting it known she wants a reckoning with Smokey. Sleep with one eye open, Mellie Mel.

Down in the Vale, Robin Arryn is not drinking breast milk. I would have lost that bet. This is a surprise to everyone, not just me, right? I feel like in every scene I’ve ever seen him in, he was either drinking breast milk or crying or both. Weening off breast milk has been good for Robin. He’s grown a lot. I didn’t recognize him at first. Though as soon as I did realize it was Robin, I let out an audible, “UGH.” Littlefinger shows up with gifts for Robin. He gives Robin a falcon. Wait, no, not a falcon, a gyrfalcon. Interesting fact: Despite its name sounding mythical, the gyrfalcon is a real bird, native to North America, Europe and Asia. It’s the largest bird in the falcon family. #themoreyouknow

Royce doesn’t trust Littlefinger and immediately makes his objections to Littlefinger known. Royce then immediately falls into a classic Littlefinger trap and barely escapes with his life. Seriously, if Littlefinger didn’t let Royce out of his trap, Robin would have had Royce executed without even giving it a second thought, or even looking away from his new pet bird. Man, Littlefinger is much better at politicking than Tommy Carcetti ever was!

But by the end of the scene, all I can think is, “Ugh. Robin. Ugh. Littlefinger. Someone kill both of them.” Imagine if you lived in the Vale and you were sworn to Robin. You’re living your life, happy to be serving Jon Arryn, who everyone agrees is a stand up guy all around. Then he dies under mysterious circumstances and you’re now serving his crazy wife and still-breastfeeding-at-10 son? Oh geez. Then the mom dies and weakest of kids is in charge of the whole place? Thank goodness they’re high up in the mountains, or else this would be the first place the Ironborn reaved. Robin Aryn makes Sir Robin from Monty Python and the Holy Grail seem terrifying.

Littlefinger suggests to Robin that that Vale retake Winterfell! Littlefinger: “The time has come to join the fray.” I wonder if he means the band #howtosavealife. But pretty much anything Littlefinger suggests, Robin agrees to. He gets Robin to agree this time because he tells Robin this will impress Sansa Stark, the heir of Winterfell. Robin is initially grossed out by the idea of marrying his cousin and then way too into it. Are we sure Robin isn’t a Lannister?

The Fantastic Four, aka Tyrion, Grey Work, Missandei and Varys are meeting. Tyrion wants to negotiate with the slave masters, but saying Grey Worm and Missandei think it’s a bad idea is the understatement of the year. Tyrion meets with them anyway and gives the Great Masters of Astapor “the queen’s plan” to end slavery in seven years. Tyrion wants the Great Masters to immediately stop funding the Sons of the Harpy. It’s not a perfect plan and probably not one Dany would actually push for, but it does give Merreen immediate peace if it works out. As a parting gift, Tyrion gives the masters three freed whores.

Grey Worm and Missandei warn Tyrion not to trust the Great Masters. Tyrion has a great line when he says of the Great Masters, “Their contempt is their weakness.”

Daario and Friend Zone have made their way to just outside of Dosh Khaleen. Daario is humble bragging to Jorah about banging Dany. It’s amazing that Jorah doesn’t punch Daario in the face every five minutes. Don’t get me wrong, I’m #TeamDaario, but man, the guy seems to just repeatedly ask for a beating.

Friend Zone is no fool; he knows the way of the Dothraki. He insists they leave their weapons outside of Dosh Khaleen. Their cover is that they are wine merchants. If they’re found with weapons, their cover will immediately be blown and their lives will be forfeit. Daario reluctantly agrees to leave his weapons behind too. Daario has a dagger with a naked lady on the hilt. Daario is totally the creepy guy at your office who bought the pen that shows a naked lady when you turn it upside down. Jorah’s greyscale sticks out through his sleeve. When Daario sees this, he’s all, “Um, I’ll go bury my own dagger. No, no, I insist. I got this. #unclean.”

They sneak into Dosh Khaleen at night. The city is one big orgy. Daario is jealous. He wishes he was born a Dothraki. They run into some Dothraki who don’t buy their wine merchant story. One Dothraki tells the other to run off and get help. Daario chases down and kills the one who rand off. Friend Zone isn’t doing well against the other Dothraki. As Friend Zone is being choked, Daario stabs the Dothraki is the back. A lot of people dying by literal backstabbing this season. Jorah says the Dothraki can’t find a body with a stab wound; it will put everyone on alert. Daario has the solution. He takes a rock and caves int he dude’s chest. Repeatedly. I’m not really appreciating the closed captioning during this.

Dany is with the other widows. Some of the widows don’t like Dany because they don’t think Khals should marry foreigners. The old crone thinks those particular widows are idiots. Daario and Jorah find Dany. They want to escape with her from the city, but Dany has bigger plans.

Back in King’s Landing, Princess Low Cut is in jail. A septa comes in and leads her out. Princess Low Cut hasn’t seen sunlight in some time. The High Septon wanted to meet with her. He asks Princess Low Cut where she would go if he freed her. She says to her husband, the king, and her family. The High Septon tells her a parable, but Princess Low Cut ruins the punchline and says it’s from the Book of the Stranger, hence the name of this episode. I wish it was from the Book of the Perfect Strangers. #teambalki. The High Septon gives her his personal tale of finding rock bottom. The High Septon used to be really into drinking and whoring and then one morning woke up after an orgy and realized nothing in his life mattered, so he walked out barefoot and turned to the faith.

As a reward for Princess Low Cut listening to his tale and not ruining the punchline this time, the High Septon takes her to see her brother, Loras. They lock them in his cell together. Loras has definitely seen better days. He’s unshaven and covered in rags and shit. By rags and shit, I don’t mean shit in the “and other things” sense; I mean literal shit. Princess Low Cut tells Loras to stay strong. He says he can’t. I believe him. They’ve broken him.

Cersei walks in Pycelle advising Tommen. Cersei is having none of that. She basically tells Pycelle to get the fuck out. Tommen wants to be careful in dealing with the High Septon. He’s worried about Princess Low Cut, my apologies, I mean Queen Low Cut.

Cersei and Jaime head to the small council meeting and announce it’s cancelled. Ser Kevan and Grandma are NOT happy. Who else thinks Ser Kevan and Grandma are doing the wild thing, senior center style? No? Just me? Huh. Cersei gets Grandma to back down by telling them that the High Septon’s plan is for Queen Low Cut to star in Walk of Shame II: Shame Harder. Jaime wants Highgarden to send their army to storm the sept, free Margie and kill the High Septon. Grandma, usually suspicious of any of Cersei’s plans, is all in.

It’s funny, I don’t think Cersei realizes that Grandma is the one who had Joffrey killed. I wonder what her reaction will be when she finds out.

Theon takes a boat to the Iron Islands. Is it me or has Asha seen better days? It looks like someone didn’t hire a trainer in the off-season. Asha thinks Theon has returned to take the throne and doesn’t believe him when he says he has no desire for it. Man, Asha sucks. But Theon wins her over when he says, “You should rule the iron islands. Let me help you.”

Up in Winterfell, Ramsey is peeling an apple. Got to keep those flaying skills sharp. His men bring Tonks into his room. He tries to intimidate her. She isn’t having it. She tells him, “I can give you what you want.” She starts grinding him but has her eyes on his knife. It’s just out of reach. I am so hoping for win here. Grab. The. Knife! Come on, Tonks! Ramsey helps her get the knife by handing it to her himself. Unfortunately, he hands it to her pointy end first in her throat. Oh man! They gone done Tonks dirty! RIP Tonks. First they kill you in Harry Potter, now Game of Thrones. Some side characters have no luck. Ramsey wipes the knife and keeps peeling his apple. Cold blooooooooooooded!

An envoy of Ramsey’s wearing the Burnt Man sigil arrives at the Wall bearing a scroll. Ominous.

It’s dinnertime at the Wall. Tormund wants some Brie on his bread. Yes, I went there. I am 100% on board for shipping Brienne and Tormund. Edd apologizes to Sansa about the food. “It’s not what we’re known for.” Apology, schmology, this is going in her Yelp review! Edd is Lord Commander??? Or is there not one? This is confusing. Having read the books, I really can’t picture Dolorous Edd as Lord Commander. But he’s not quite as dimwitted on the show as he is in the books. Jon reads the letter from Ramsay. Ramsey demands Sansa back. Tormund is ready to fight. The numbers would be 2,ooo (Jon) vs 5,000 (Ramsey). And Ramsey’s men would be behind Winterfell’s gates. Jon realizes these are hopeless odds, but Sansa urges him on. She says, “You’re the son of the last true warden of the North. A monster has taken our home and our brother. We have to go back and save them both.” After that, I’m ready to fight in Sansa’s army.

The Khals are meeting in their Khal building. The guy whose chest Daario caved in? One of the khals says his name was Aggo. Whoa, isn’t Aggo one of Dany’s bloodriders? Sure, there could be another Dothraki named Aggo, but we know so few of these guys names. Why repeat a name that is also one of Dany’s main lieutenants? I think this is Dany’s Aggo that Daario killed. Man, that sucks for Aggo. You’re out searching for Dany and you end up getting killed by the guys coming to rescue Dany? For all we know, Aggo was working his own plan to get Dany out of there. RIP Aggo.

Dany is brought before the Khals. She challenges them. She doesn’t want to live with the widows in Dosh Khalleen and serve. She wants to lead the Dothraki. The Khals laugh at her. The Khal who brought her to Dosh Khalleen tells her, “You’re not going to serve.” You’re going to die.” And that’s when Dany goes Left Eyes on the Khals. She knocks over a vat of flaming oil. The Khal House goes up in flames and fast. The Khals try to escape, but Daario and Friend zone have barred the doors from the outside. Only Dany emerges from the inferno, ready to lead. Everyone has come to see the fire. They all bow before her. Dany, you bad mother fucker. Friend Zone and Daario also bow. Daario actually prays! Friend Zone looks up at Dany. She is resplendent. The Mother of Dragons is IN CHARGE!

May 19, 2016 by Billy Henehan

Stan Lee to Make His Final NYCC Appearance

New York Comic Con announced yesterday that this year would be Stan Lee’s final appearance at NYCC. No reasons were given, and this news coming so quickly on the heels of Darwyn Cooke’s death immediately had me fearing the worst. But hopefully Stan is doing well and at 93 years of age just wants to kick back, relax and escape the grind of constantly touring for conventions.

How does this affect your personal NYCC? Are you going to make it a priority to get Stan Lee’s autograph this year? I’ve met Stan twice and have his autograph on three comics, so getting his signature again isn’t a priority for me. That said, I know I will definitely be signing up for a photo with Stan if it’s offered. And yes, I will be wearing my Spider-Man costume from The RPC Studio. Hmm, I better start doing some situps. That spandex outfit DOES NOT hide a belly.

All the best and excelsior, Stan! We hope you’re in good health!

May 17, 2016 by Billy Henehan

NYCC 2016: How to Buy Tickets

Written by David Henehan.

In an effort to deter the rampant scalping of tickets that has plagued New York Comic Con in recent years, show promoter ReedPop has announced some big changes the NYCC ticket buying process for 2016.

The biggest news is the implementation of the new Fan Verification System. Similar to the system that is in place for tickets to San Diego Comic-Con, this new system requires that everyone who desires to buy a ticket for NYCC first set up a user profile. That profile will be good for buying one ticket for each day of NYCC. For example, Groot wants to buy tickets for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. He could either buy one 3-Day Pass or buy individual tickets for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. What he won’t be able to do is buy both one 3-Day Pass and one Saturday ticket, because that would violate the one ticket per day rule.

What if you need a friend to buy you your ticket? That’s not a problem, as long as you first set up your Fan Verification profile and give your friend the email address attached to that profile. For example, Rocket needs Groot to buy him his ticket. Groot wants a 3-Day Pass and Rocket wants tickets for Saturday and Sunday. Once ticket buying begins, Groot puts in an order for tickets, and associates his profile for his 3-Day Pass and Rocket’s profile for Rocket’s Saturday and Sunday tickets. This will all be done on one order.

When are tickets going on sale? We don’t know yet and NYCC has no plans to publically announce when tickets go on sale. Fans who set up a Fan Verification profile will be emailed with the timeframe in which they can buy tickets 48 hours before they are able to purchase tickets. Monitor your inbox closely!

Do you usually buy your NYCC ticket at Midtown Comics? You won’t be able to this year. Newly announced for 2016 is that online will be the ONLY place to buy your ticket. We were headed in this direction over the past few years, as comic books stores allowed to sell NYCC tickets dwindled until it was only Midtown Comics. I’m guessing Midtown Comics doesn’t mind losing out on selling NYCC tickets. I have no idea what their commission was for tickets sold, but the managing of that line that stretched blocks and saw people lining up a full day before tickets went on sale was a daunting and thankless task. Plus, getting rid of retail sales makes it harder for the scalpers. Last year, there were reports of scalpers paying people to stand in line for them and then fronting them the cash to buy the max number of tickets.

Another big piece of news, but one that only affects a small segment of NYCC attendees: There will be no VIP tickets this year. If you’re someone who buys VIP tickets every year, this is huge news. Despite their cost, VIP tickets were always the first to sell out every year. The tickets were pricy, but had nice perks baked into them: exclusive signing sessions with top creators like Scott Snyder, the ability to get onto the show floor before other fans, and a VIP lounge where you could rest up and check your coat and bags. I’m surprised NYCC is getting rid of these tickets, but my guess is that with the new rolling tickets buying process, getting rid of the VIP tickets was easier than figuring out a way to allocate such a small number of tickets for each on-sale session.

The big question is: will the new fan verification process work? Will it stop a large segment of scalpers? On the one hand, what’s to stop scalpers from creating dummy email accounts and fan profiles to still buy lots of tickets? Under the new system, if a scalper wanted to buy 12 tickets, he would need to make 12 separate email accounts. And really, how hard is that? On the other hand, by requiring the Fan Verification profile to be setup in advance, NYCC is knocking out the scalpers that are late to the game, the ones who jumped on NYCC ticket sales day-of because they heard they were easy to flip.

Yes, there are more hurdles to climb to buy a ticket. The new NYCC ticket buying process seems more stress inducing than before. But hopefully it works, and tickets end up in the hands of fans, not scalpers. Overall, I think these changes will be for the better and not for the worse. Good luck, everyone. We hope to see you at NYCC.

More information on the new NYCC ticket buying process can be found at the official New York Comic Con website.