Welcome back, Gotham-aholics! Wait, that doesn’t sound good. Gothamites? What’s the name of our fandom? Psyche, trick question! I don’t think anyone actually likes this show!
This week’s episode opens up on a flashback, set 10 years in the past. A man walks up to a mirror, puts on a mask and gloves, and then, in his best Christian Bale voice, says “I am the spirit of the goat” and breaks a mirror. We then cut to an apartment, where a strategically placed TV newscast says that the city was still under siege from the killer known as “The Spirit of the Goat” (This show really does love the TV-News-As-Info-dump trick.) There’s a girl on the balcony, and she’s about to peek inside the apartment when the Spirit comes up behind her and grabs her. We cut to what looks to be an abandoned building, and we see a car driven by a slightly-younger Harvey Bullock and his grumpy partner – you guys, I think we’re about to get the “this is how Bullock lost faith in Gotham City” episode! Bullock is gung-ho about going into the building, but his partner, Dix, is less so, and says they have to wait for back-up. He tells Bullock that gotham’s golden rule is “no heroes.” GET IT BECAUSE ONE DAY THEY WILL HAVE A HERO NAMED BATMAN. NUDGE. Bullock runs in anyway, and they find the girl trussed up as some kind of sacrifice, dead. The Goat pulls Dix through the floor, tells Bullock that he will “always come back” – which is weird, because Bullock hasn’t actually done anything yet but get knocked down on the ground. It does give Bullock the opening to say “come back from this!” when he shoots him dead!
Instead of a commercial after the opening title, we jump right to the present day, with Bullock at a crime scene where the victim is dressed up and hanging just like the one from before. He looks terrified. Nygma walks up, and asks Bullock if he’d “figured out his riddle” which is really awkward, because, well, dead body, and Bullock rightfully so tells him to shut it and give him the time of death. In case you didn’t know, Edward Nygma is going to one day become the Riddler – i’m betting in part because everyone’s always mean to him. Because he’s a creep. Based on the background of the victim, Bullock is sure that they’re dealing with a copygoat. He tries to call Gordon, but he’s not answering his cell because he’s in an argument with his girlfriend Barbara – she’s trying to get him to open up to her – I thought they had broken up two episodes ago but I guess not.
We cut to Detectives Allen and Montoya (he calls her “Monty” which, uh, sure, whatever) as they pull up to the docks, where they are apparently interrogating strangers about Gordon’s shooting of the Penguin. The first guy they come up to says he saw the shooting and confirms (based on the picture they have of him) that Gordon did it. Just like that!
After the commercial, Gordon finally shows up at the crime scene, and they interview the victim’s parents about the murder. They meet the family therapist, and there’s some grumble grumble from Bullock about therapy. At the police station, Nygma goes into the file room, where he creeps on a girl, sniffing her as she walks past him, obviously freaked out (seriously this guy is at his job.) Her name is “Kristen Kringle” and he goes on and on about her name. Man, he’s a weirdo.
A short while later, Penguin shows up at his mom’s house, so he can tell her he’s not dead. She accuses him of being “tangled in some hussy’s demon purse” (what?) and he explains that no, he was just thrown into a river and had to kill some bros and get a food/bev job and etc, so forth. He tells her he’s going to “be somebody.” At the police station, Bullock and Gordon are sitting in on the autopsy, and the body matches those from the Goat’s crimes from 10 years earlier – Bullock realizes that this is not someone copying the crimes, but the same killer. (dun dun dun!)
At stately Wayne Manor, Bruce is listening to another info dump newscast, explaining that the Goat is targeting the first born children of the city’s rich and powerful – because he’s a big scaredy cat, Alfred suggest leaving, but Bruce is all “no way, I’ve got to keep pinning evidence to my evidence wall.” Then he asks why Alfred thinks anyone would take him, because “there’s no one to take him from.” Alfred’s head turns into a sad-face emoticon.
Back at the station, Kringle walks in on Nygma reorganizing the file room, which she had explicitly told him not to do – they’re going to fall in love, aren’t they? She tells him that he’s a weirdo, and he realizes he should go – yet leaves her to clean up his mess, like a big jerk. Gordon and Bullock go to question Dix, who is in a wheelchair, about the case. After a little back-and-forth, Bullock walks off in a huff, and Dix tells Gordon that Bullock is like a “white knight jumping into the breach” which leads to some ha-ha you don’t know him at all banter from Gordon. BUT we come to find out that Bullock has been paying for Dix’s stay in the home, because he’s actually got a heart of gold. I KNEW IT!
We cut to a blonde girl in a huge house, who’s kidnapped by the Goat!
After the break, Barbara catches up with Montoya, and Montoya tells her that they’re issuing a warrant for Gordon’s arrest that night, and that she needs to get as far away from him as possible.
After reviewing the employee records for the people that had access to both of the victim’s houses, the detectives are led right back to the crime scene from 10 years ago. They go in without backup, and we see the Goat in the process of sacrificing the blonde girl. They sneak in, but he’s able to hid in almost an exact repeat of what happened before. Gordon gets the girl down, while Bullock searches for the Goat – they get into a fight, and he tells Bullock (again) that he will always come back. Just before he’s about to kill Bullock, Gordon jumps down and beats the crap out of the Goat, making that he’s the only good guy that ever gets to punch things on this show. Case closed!
After the break, we find Selina straight up walking through an open window right into Bruce’s office, where he’s asleep (because sure when there’s a guy going around kidnapping rich kids, you’d definitely be lax on the security.) She sees his evidence wall, and then, because she’s going to one day be Catwoman, hops up on a chair and crouches. Like you do. Then she leaves.
Then we see Penguin in a bathtub. And his mom brings him his suit. And bathes him. This is gross. Bullock and Gordon go over the history of the Goat with Essen, but Bullock is not happy – he doesn’t understand how two people that never knew each other could end up committing the same crimes in the same way, even though they worked for the same company 10 years apart. He waves Gordon off, and witnesses the suspect in the interrogation room freaking out – he says “holy ghost on a bicycle” and runs out. That’s going to be my new catchphrase, FYI.
Gordon gets home to find Barbara, who tells him about the warrant, and tries to get him to run away with her. He’s a good guy, though, and willingly opens the door to be arrested by Allen and Montoya.
Bullock goes back to the first victim’s house, where he finds the therapist – he makes the always classy “therapist/the rapist” joke, because he’s pretty endearing. He mentions that he’s found that she’s a hypnotherapist, and had treated Earl, the suspect, in the past. It turns out that she had also treated the killer from 10 years ago, and he accuses her of hypnotizing both of them to become the Goat. She comes clean immediately, explaining that this is her way of cleaning up the city (what?) Since she’s a girl, there can’t be a punch-em-up, but she gives the first victim’s father, Mr. Hastings, the cue to go all growly and attack Bullock. He’s pretty old, though, so Bullock knocks him down pretty easy and shoots her in the leg. Case actually closed! While Bullock is briefing Essen, Gordon is dragged through the police station by Allen and Montoya, who start to arrest Bullock, too – but then Penguin strolls into the room, all wet and giggly. The episode ends with Bullock jumping into Gordon’s face, because he now knows that Gordon didn’t actually kill Penguin – JUST WHEN THEY WERE MAYBE GOING TO POSSIBLY START TO SORT OF MAYBE BE FRIENDS!
What’s going to happen next week! Something, I’ll bet! See you then!