At The Movies #2: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

First off, I apologize for the delay is getting this post out. When George Clooney heard I was going to blow the whistle on The Fantastic Mr. Fox’s true motivation, he did everything in his power to keep me from posting this. I still walk down the street looking over my shoulder, knowing that he’s out there, ready to take me out with a Facts of Life Boxed Set.

It took me a little time, but I figured out the true purpose of The Fantastic Mr. Fox. It is to ready children to accept George Clooney as their heist movie star of choice. It was a cunning move on Mr. Clooney’s part. After seeing competition emerging from Clive Owen and Jason Statham, Clooney, using his Danny Ocean-like razor sharp mind, decided that the true way to box office gold is through the next generation.

I didn’t know that The Fantastic Mr. Fox revolved around a heist when I entered the Brooklyn Heights Cinema to see it. I never read the Roald Dahl book. And Mr. Fox’s uncanny resemblance to Nintendo character Star Fox caused me to unintentionally think the movie took place in outer space.

    Wrong Mr. Fox

But once the movie gets underway, it’s easy to spot this as a children’s primer for Ocean’s 11. It could have been called Fox’s 11 with no problem. Clooney’s Mr. Fox, just like his Danny Ocean, assembles a team of individuals of various backgrounds, sizes and abilities to take what he wants. Casino chips are replaced with chickens, but the plot is basically the same. The mole even bears a more than passing resemblance to Carl Reiner.

Same Person?

The similarities don’t end there. Danny Ocean is a snappy dresser. As is Mr. Fox.

You would be hard pressed to find a more dapper fictional fox than Mr. Fox.

Sorry, Br’er Fox, but you just don’t cut it.

The end result of George Clooney’s plan? After seeing The Fantasic Mr. Fox, a kid goes home and catches Ocean’s 11, 12 and 13 marathon on TBS. He clamors for more movies featuring George Clooney outwitting the rich and powerful for monetary gain. So he starts a small blog extolling the virtues of George Clooney as a heist movie star. Multiply this by every child who sees The Fantastic Mr. Fox and the Ocean’s franchise ends up with more movies than Star Trek, with fans wondering just how the writers fit in all those characters for Ocean’s 67 in 2032.

The worst part? The Fantastic Mr. Fox is a cussing great movie. Kids and adults alike loved this movie on the night I saw it. We’re cussing doomed. All is Danny Ocean. Danny Ocean is all. Cuss.