The episode opens at the UN. Talbot talking about being in New York City during the battle for New York, aka The Avengers movie. In his speech, he stomps SHIELD into a mudhole. The Italian diplomat stands up to him. A squad busts in led by a guy who I thought was Batroc the Leaper (he’s not, pity) and starts hitting diplomats with those discs that obelisk people. Is obelisk a verb? It is now. The discs don’t turn people into obelisks, but it has the same effect that touching it, or you know, drinking champagne laced with the cells of its victims does. Not-Batroc and his people are wearing clothes sporting the SHIELD logo. Not-Batroc announces “SHIELD is done hiding” as tries to kill Talbot with one of those discs. Oh boy.
Ward opens his eyes like he’s Jack in the opening of the pilot of Lost. He then goes through the Desmond workout from the opening of the first episode of the second season of Lost. I’m starting to think I know what show the Agents of SHIELD writer like the most. Hint: it rhymes with “LOST.” Ward has an insane workout routine. Skye and Gemma are watching the Ward channel. Gemma admits to watching it every day, but she manages to say it in a wholly scientific and non-sexy way. May comes in to announce to them that there’s been an attack on the UN. Coulson figures out it’s Hydra immediately.
Coulson wants coffee and finds a grumpy cat mug. “Did someone bring this from home?” That’s a good question. How does a Grumpy Cat mug end up in a hidden SHIELD base. I thought everything was only allowed to have the SHIELD logo on it. I kind of wish that mug did have both Grumpy Cat and a SHIELD logo on it. Coulson tells Skye to put the alien writing deciphering on the back burner for now. Bobbie Morse, in a purple Star Wars t-shirt, shows up with some intel. I have never loved Star Wars more. She says Marcus Scarlotti is the name of guy I thought was Batroc. Coulson tells Bobbie to join Hunter and May to take on the developer of the obelisk weapon. Neither Hunter nor Bobbie are feeling good about this team-up. Coulson basically says get over it or get out.
Talbot is now in an arm sling. I’m guessing the disintegrater disc missed him. He meets with government honcho. Talbot tells him he thinks it wasn’t actually SHIELD. And then we find out that this government dude is Ward’s brother, Christian Ward. DUN DUN DUN!
Coulson and Skye watch Ward’s brother on TV announce he wants to dismantle SHIELD. He calls SHIELD terrorists. Coulson shows Skye a map of the remaining SHIELD operatives. There aren’t many dots on that map.
Coulson contacts Agent Walters int he Netherlands. He tells her to go dark. Hmmm…could this be Jen Walters? For those of you who don’t read comics, Jennifer Walters is the cousin of Bruce Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk. Because she desperately needed a blood transfusion to save her life, Bruce agreed to go against his better judgement and donate his blood. This blood transfusion transformed her into the sometimes savage, sometimes sensational She-Hulk. At one time, She-Hulk worked for SHIELD.
On the flight to Japan, Bobbie and Hunter try to have a civil conversation. Bobbie is slightly better at it than Hunter is. Bobbie is surprised that Hunter has stuck around. Once the conversation gets a little more passive aggressive, Bobbie goes to the cockpit to talk to May. She asks May if she’s ever been married and if she still talks to her ex. May answers her with silence to both questions.
Fitz is mumbling to himself in his lab. Simmons (the real one) visits him. I wonder if he was talking to fake Simmons just before this. He was definitely talking to himself, so maybe. Simmons asks Fitz for help figuring out something. Woo, FitzSimmons is back! Simmons sees just how bad Fitz’s condition is. It clearly gets to her.
Skye asks Ward about his older brother, the Senator. I wonder how the third Ward brother will one day play into the series. Ward tells her to stay away from him. The way Ward describes him, Christian is a worse guy than he is, and SHIELD/Hydra Ward is pretty bad.
In Japan, May, Bobbie and Hunter try to figure out how to take down Toshiro. Bobbie suggests going in under her Hydra cover. Hunter backs her up with some passive aggressiveness thrown in for old time’s sake. Toshiro’s men check Bobbie for weapons, as May and Hunter watch from the Van.
Bobbie and Toshiro meet. Bobbie speaks Japanese…and then starts making out with Toshiro. That must be fun for Hunter to watch. Toshiro then asks Bobbie if she is working for SHIELD. Bobbie deflects and asks about Scarlotti’s weapons. May and Hunter give running commentary. Toshiro calls them splinter bombs. Bobbie wants some, but he’s shipped them all out to Hydra.
Hunter intercepts an incoming message to Toshiro’s people. It’s alerting them at Bobbie is SHIELD. Hunter stops a gunman from shooting Bobbie in the back of the head. She’s pissed, claiming she totally knew about the guy walking directly behind her with a gun. Uh-huh. After taking out Toshiro’s men, they head to Belguim.
Fitz is looking at Blackbird files. He has a hard time getting his thoughts out and gets frustrated when Simmons tries to finish his sentences. Fitz lashes out at Simmons for leaving when she did. It doesn’t end well. Simmons leaves, just as Mac arrives.
Coulson is in Christian Ward’s office when Christian walks in. Christian won’t shake his hand. Maybe he’s just a germophobe. Coulson wants to clear the air regarding the UN attack, saying it wasn’t his team. Coulson basically gives up Ward to Christian.
Skye visits Ward again. She tells him no one is watching.
Coulson tells Christian that he knows about the well. Christian paints the picture that Ward is just a big fat liar.
Ward tells the same thing about Christian. That’s he’s worse than Ward is.
Christian tells Coulson a story about finding Grant standing over Thomas with s screw driver. Thomas is the third Ward brother we haven’t met yet. Christian basically paints Grant Ward to be a sociopath. He plays Coulson right into his hands, telling him that he’s spent too much of his life trying to unravel his lies and that he always finds someone to believe them. Coulson feels the same way about Ward.
Cut to Ward possibly lying to Skye. This show needs a Lying Cat. Lying Cat would be so helpful here.
Coulson offers Christian a deal.
Ward tells Skye about her dad. Ward sounds super creepy during this scene. He tells her that the people who died when Skye was found in the Hunan province were Hydra agents, not villagers. Hydra killed Skye’s mother. Skye’s father then killed all of the Hydra agents. Ward wants to go on the run with Skye. Skye thanks him for telling him everything he knows and that it’s time to get him out of there…because they’re giving him to his brother.
Mac and Fitz figure out these bombs go back to a design from the 1940s, designed by Vincent Beckers…the same Beckers May is going heading to? Is he another guy who doesn’t age? Simmons says we have to tell Coulson now!
Ward is pleading his case to Coulson. Coulson isn’t having it. Coulson has it out on Ward, telling him the laundry list of things he’s done: almost killing FitzSimmons, killing Victoria Hand and Ezra Koenig. Trip pulls Coulson out. Christian’s men are here for Ward. .
Vincent Beckers is Julian’s grandfather. Ah, got it. Coulson relaizes they’ve been played. In Belguim, Beckers is waiting for Agents Walters in the safe house. He’s killed the SHIELD agents in the house. Wait, how? Is he a superhuman. Oh, Beckers has a Hydra team with him. Scarlottie comes in with a knife. Walters headbutts him. He discs her in the stomach and she turns to dust. Okay, definitely not Jennifer Walters. False alarm. No She-Hulk here.
Hunter busts down the door, offering Scarlotti and his people beer. They’re justifiably confused. Bobbie and May burst in. Bobbie whips out her escrima sticks and goes to town. She and Hunter make a good team.
May and Scarlotti fight. He’s got a knife on a chain and knows how to use it. May dodges him well. It’s an exciting fight scene. Man, sometimes I’m watching Mingna Wen kick ass in these fight scenes, it occurs to me that this is the same woman who for the longest time I associated with The Joy Luck Club. Night and day. At some point, May ends up with Scarlotti’s knife.
Bobbie thanks hunter for saving her life three times today. Awww, are they getting back together?
May (mainly May’s knee) takes down Scarlotti. Unforuntatey, every SHIELD agent in the house other than she, Hunter and Bobbie, are dead.
Simmons thanks Mac for helping Fitz. Mac says Fitz doesn’t need any help. He says that Fitz is definitely a different man from the Fitz that Simmons knew, but Mac never knew the old Fitz. He says she needs to get used to the new Fitz. Simmons wants to tell Mac why she left, but Mac doesn’t want to hear it. He says that the only thing that makes Fitz worse is her. She agrees. That’s why she left.
Hunter is leaving the team. Bobbie wishes him well, and hints he should stay.
There’s a big squad of guys there to take Ward form the stronghold. Simmons stares Ward in the eyes while he’s marched out. Simmons tells Ward that she’ll kill him if she ever sees them again. I think she’s serious. Coulson can’t even look Ward in the face.
Talbot takes Scarlotti into custody.
Christian Ward gives a press conference separating SHIELD from Hydra, and stating bluntly that Hydra is the threat. He comes clean about his brother being in Hydra.
Ward says to Coulson,”Tell Skye this doesn’t change anything. I’ll keep my promise.” Yeah, I don’t see Coulson relaying that message. On the truck out of town, Ward dislocates his thumbs, frees himself and fights ALL the guards in the truck with him.
At some tattoo shop, some guys is getting all that alien writing tattooed on himself. Silly guy. Carve that into walls. Wait, who is this guy?
