We open on a diner. Ward and Agent 33 are on a date? This is the second diner scene in as many weeks. They’re really getting good use out of that set. Ward and Agent 33 go all Pumpkin and Honey Bunny on the patrons when they jump on the tables and rob the diner Pulp Fiction style. Samuel L Jackson is not in this diner. What a missed opportunity! Oh wait, they’re not robbing the place, they’re kidnapping a plastic surgeon?

Somebody tell Agent 33, “Bitch, be cool.”

FitzSimmons is checking out Skye’s broken arms. Skye refers to herself being on the DL. Fitz doesn’t know that DL means disabled list and not down low. He’s adorable.

Coulson and May are meeting. These Coulson and May meetings are great for anyone who missed an episode, as they constantly seem to be debating what’s going on with the team. May has changed her mind about Skye being on the team. It seems like Simmons and May want her off and Fitz and Coulson want her on. Luckily for Skye, Coulson is in charge.

Back to Ward and Agent 33. Oh, that wasn’t a plastic surgeon that they kidnapped. It was an engineer…who is kind of like a plastic surgeon since he fixed Agent 33’s digital mask.s mask. She can now look normal again…though it seems like May is still her normal face. She can’t take the mask off. Oh crap, is Agent 33 the Marvel Cinematic Universe version of Madame Masque? For those of you not familar with her, Madame Masque is an Iron Man villain named Courtney Whitmore. She hides behind a golden mask because she was once beautiful but had been horribly disfigured…or was it all in her head? Some writers have made it recently that Courtney was not actually disfigured, but suffered a psychological break and only thinks she is disfigured.

Madame Masque

We’re introduced to Edward James Olmos, who plays Gonzalez, the head of the “Real” SHIELD. Real SHIELD reminds me of the Original Ghostbusters and Real Ghostbusters cartoons that went up against each other in the 1980s.

Lance is unimpressed with Real SHIELD. He’s clearly grew up an Original Ghostbusters fan. Lance gets the best line of the episode when describing Coulson. He says that Coulson “tends to hog the mic during karaoke nights.” Lance is shocked that Bobbie is a part of Real SHIELD. I wonder if she really is. Maybe she’s a triple agent. Hunter also gets the second best line of the episode when he turns to Bobbie and says, “Maybe we could have discussed this alone without all of Hufflepuff looking on.” I can’t think of a bigger Harry Potter related insult than being called a Hufflepuff. They’re like the short bus of the Harry Potter universe.

Gonzalez explains the formation of Real SHIELD and why it’s necessary. They didn’t trust Fury and they don’t trust Coulson post-alien injection.  They think Coulson is being driven insane by the alien injection. It’s funny; if this conversation was happening a few episodes back, they’d be right.

Coulson and Skye go on a road trip.Well…air trip. They’re talking in the rear hold of what I believe is The Bus. They share a cute moment eating some Twizzlers together. But wait a minute…who is flying this plane?!

Agent 33 is trying on new faces. Ward killed the doctor. Note: Ward is still a very bad man. Agent 33 puts on Skye’s face…with May’s hair, and starts making out with Ward. This is some weird shit. Why did she keep May’s hair? She can control her hair along with her face. Ward realizes it’s weird. I think it’s weird the Skye lookalike still has May’s voice…and hair.

Gonzalez is asking Bobbie about Hunter. He’s worried Hunter might turn her. Bobbie thinks she can get through to Hunter.

Ward gives Agent 33 his origin story. He finishes by saying he got over his issues by having a heart to heart with his family. He doesn’t mention that heart to heart means killing them all. It’s amazing how Ward has transformed into a total psycho. He’s not Kyle McLaughlin level crazy, but he’s up there. He wants 33 to have a similar “heart to heart” with Bakshi that Ward had with his family. For those who haven’t been paying attention, it was Bakshi who prepped Agent 33 for Whitehall.

To break into Bakshi’s prison, Agent 33 disguises herself as Talbot’s wife. Luckily no one there seems to know what Mrs. Talbot’s voice sounds like, because she still sounds like May. I could have sworn the engineer said she could change the sound of her voice now. Maybe I heard that line wrong.

Coulson has taken Skye to a cabin in the woods. It’s isolated. He brought her here so that she could heal and hone her powers. Simmons designed gloves for Skye to wear. They will help her control her powers, but there are side effects…Coulson isn’t saying what they are.  Skye’s supposed to FaceTime with Simmons later to get the deets.

Agent 33/Mrs. Talbot switches into an Air Force Major disguise. Ward somehow just walks right in the facility. Seriously, how did he get in. Agent 33 has to get waved him by Talbot while pretending to be Talbot’s wife while Ward kind of just shows up in the middles of the facility. The real Mrs. Talbot calls saying she’s stuck in traffic. Ruh-roh. Talbot puts two and two together very quickly. There’s a reason Talbot’s a general. Talbot rounds up every female on the base. He lectures them, saying how he cannot stand a spy in his house.

Cut to Mac at Coulson’s base. Well played, SHIELD editor. Well played.

Talbot starts grilling people, asking them trick questions. Go with the trick answer, Agent 33! Meanwhile Ward is shooting up the place. Oh hey, Agent 33 is a dude now. Haha, take that Talbot! She’s not even in the room! They open up Bakshi’s cell. He thinks she’s here to break him out…until he sees Ward and starts putting things together. Bakshi tries activating her brainwashing, but 33 punches him in the face before it can take effect.

Talbot pulls a gun on his own wife, his real wife. Geez, Talbot! She’s just bringing you tacos for Taco Tuesday. She even brought your favorite sauce!

Bobbie and Hunter have a heart to heart. It sounds like Bobbie is 100% New SHIELD…just what a triple agent would say. Hunter decides he’s leaving. Bobbie won’t stop him (I’m guessing because she’s a triple agent). But all the armed guards will stop him. Or they’ll try. Oh wait, no need. They’re on a aircraft carrier out to sea. Bobbie pursues. Hunter is nowhere to be seen. Oh wait, there’s like 50 aircraft that Hunter could escape on.  Still, how could he possible get off undetected?

Fitz confronts Coulson about Skye. Coulson won’t tell him where she is. Fitz then confronts Simmons about how she’s treating Skye. Fitz calls her out on how she’s changed, even though Fitz and Skye have changed, neither has changed more than Simmons. That gets to Simmons.

Talbot FaceTimes Coulson and May. At least I think it’s Talbot. It has to be. Why would Agent 33 tell Coulson that Agent 33 broke into a base with Ward? Okay, that’s the real Talbot.

Hunter managed to escape in a submersible pod. Way to go, “Real” SHIELD. Bobbie wants to go back in to Coulson’s base. “Real” SHIELD debates and approves.

Coulson and May have both come to the conclusion that they don’t believe Mac. They aim to confront him. They don’t seem to suspect Bobbie yet.

Agent 33 goes back to her real face. It’s majorly scarred. Oh wow, she is definitely Madame Masque! Ward and Agent 33 have Bakshi tied up. They’re going to brainwash him. Things are definitely getting interesting…

Finally, I have to say, I really like this week’s title, Love in the Time of Hydra. First, because it references Love in the Time of Cholera, and second because this episode did a great job on focusing on the various couples on the show. You have Agent 33 and Ward as the outlaw couple. FitzSimmons is trying (and constantly failing) to get back into the groove of where they were last season. Bobbie and Hunter are the Romeo and Juliet of the spy world…if Romeo and Juliet bickered constantly. This season of Agents of SHIELD has been spot on. I can’t wait to see how the show will tie into Avengers: Age of Ultron in one month!