Agents of SHIELD – S1E6 – F.Z.Z.T. – REVIEW

Spoilers abound! Read this only if you’ve already watched F.Z.Z.T!

Episode 6 of Agents of SHIELD, “F.Z.Z.T,” starts out normally. There’s a new super-powered mystery to be solved. This time, it’s a scout leader whose dead body is both electrically charged and hovering in the air. The good news is that it takes the team only half the episode to solve this one. The source of turns out a be a Chitauri helmet carrying some kind of space virus.

FZZT floaty

 

It was cool that the Agents of SHIELD TV show went beyond just passively referencing the Avengers movie here and brought in an actual prop that kickstarted this episode. It definitely helps the show feel like it’s securely grounded in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. What was also cool about this plot was that there was no sinister villain hungry for power. The people who died thanks to the Chitauri helmet weren’t murdered. It was just wrong place, wrong time. Of course, it at first looks like one person is out to kill his friends, but when he dies and the SHIELD team recovers the helmet, everything is resolved and there’s no villain lurking in the shadows.

Chitauri Helmet

What follows is without a doubt the most intense half an episode we’ve had so far this season. I honestly had no idea if Simmons was going to make it out of this one alive. When she and Fitz failed in their final attempt at creating a cure, I was ready to yell at my TV, “You can’t kill Simmons!” But this is Whedon we’re talking about. He totally could.

Part of the reason that I love this episode so much is for the amount of screen time that Fitz and Simmons get. There is definitely chemistry between the two of them. We’re treated to their back story, which is great,except that it’s given to us in this frame that Simmons is about to die. If this was Lost, she’d definitely be dead for all the back story we got on the two of them.

When it’s revealed that the EM pulse from Simmons as she dies will blow the whole plane out of the sky, killing the entire SHIELD team, I breathed a sigh of relief. They can’t kill the whole team. There’d be no show. Then Simmons jumped from the plane…just as Fitz realizes they figured out a cure. It’s like a nerd version of Romeo and Juliet.

IAIN DE CAESTECKER, ELIZABETH HENSTRIDGE

If Simmons dies, we riot!

I literally cheered when Fitz tried to get that parachute on and Ward jumped out of the plane to save Simmons. This episode was INTENSE. At the end of the day, Ward saves Simmons and I don’t throw my remote at my TV over her death. Whedon, you played with my emotions like an episode of Parenthood here, and I thank you for it.

In Agent Coulson news, we get a BIG reveal tonight. Coulson undoes his shirt and shows off the massive scar where Loki blasted him in The Avengers. Someone told me that this is proof that Coulson is not a Life Model Decoy. I still think he’s a LMD, and that whoever designed the Coulson LMD went into very good detail. I’m guessing we won’t find out until the end of this season at the earliest.

Coulson Scar

Agents of SHIELD is crossing over with Thor: The Dark World in two weeks. In other words, make sure you see Thor: The Dark World. See you next week!

On The Couch #37: 28 Weeks Later

28 Days Later is my favorite (non-comedic) horror film. After years of reluctantly seeing horror movies with friends, finally there was one I really got into. When I first saw it, it was like a breath of fresh air. I loved the feeling of isolation and desolation brought on by Cillian Murphy waking up alone in an empty hospital, emerging onto empty streets, looking for someone, anyone else. On a side note, this ended up being borrowed pretty heavily in the beginning of The Walking Dead comic. I wonder if they’ll keep that part in the TV show. I guess we’ll find that out soon enough (Walking Dead premieres on AMC in 3 days at the time of this writing).

I still like saying to no one in particular “Hellllllllooooooo…” after every time I watch 28 Days Later. But what I really liked about 28 Days Later was the fast moving zombie. The zombies in the movie were no joke. They weren’t slow moving shamblers; they were the exact opposite. They were rage fueled beasts that really wanted to take a bite out of you.

If I had to pick which zombie movie world I’d be stuck in, I would definitely pick slow and hard to kill over insanely fast and slightly less less hard to kill. If the fast moving zombies of 28 Days Later were in the mall of the original Dawn of the Dead, it wouldn’t be the Zach Snyder Dawn of the Dead remake; it would be a two minute long movie! Roger and company wouldn’t even make it into Penney’s. Do you remember how many times the four main characters in Romero’s Dawn of the Dead used run and push moves out of a John Madden video game to get around zombies? That doesn’t work with the sprinters.

Fact: Zombies can’t swim. Except for the ones who can! Keep running!

But that run and push move from Dawn of the Dead illustrates something about the whole zombie movie genre: more than anything else, more so than even the zombies themselves, the major cause of death in zombie movies is hubris, hubris on the part of the living. In 28 Days Later, it was the hubris of militant animal rights activists that caused the virus outbreak in Britain. In Dawn of the Dead, Roger was infected because he went out of his way to put himself in riskier and riskier situations. And in 28 Weeks Later, it’s the hubris of a well intentioned doctor that gets the whole rage virus zombie plague started back up again.

The most interesting thing to me about 28 Weeks Later is that it presents the viewer with a variation on the classic “If you could go back in time and kill Hitler as a child, would you do it?” It’s set up very early on that young Andy isn’t going to become infected once he comes into contact with infected blood, but that he’ll be a carrier, just like his mother and infect everyone else. At various points in the movie, Andy is set to die, but is saved, usually by military personnel ignoring their orders (Jeremy Renner both refusing to shoot Andy with his sniper rifle and later taking out another sniper that would have shot Andy, the doctor trying to keep Andy safe to use him to make an antidote, Flynn not shooting Andy, but instead flying him out to Paris). The interesting part is that none of these characters, with the exception of the doctor, know how dangerous Andy is. The others just don’t want it on their conscience that they killed a child. The viewer, on the other hand, knows very well that this kid could bring about the fall of mankind, making it very hard, especially once he’s exposed to the virus, not to wish something bad to happen to him. If 28 Weeks Later taught me anything, it’s that there’s a decent chance I’d shoot baby Hitler.

Pop quiz hotshot: This kid is going to bring about the zombie apocalypse. What do you do?

Now that I’ve seen 28 Weeks Later, I have to say I’m a bit shocked when I hear people say they prefer this over 28 Days Later. 28 Days Later is much better than 28 Weeks Later. What 28 Weeks Later does well, 28 Days Later does better. Take the “my dad is a zombie and now he’s trying to kill us” subplot. 28 Days Later dealt with this very painfully, with the immediacy of killing the little girl’s dad once he became infected. 28 Weeks Later, on the other hand, drags this out through the whole movie. After the dad gets infected, he becomes almost Jason or Freddy like in his tenacity and invulnerability. When Jeremy Renner is leading the group’s escape out of the camp and Andy sees his dad, I thought Andy was seeing things, not that his zombie dad was actually stalking them. He didn’t need to be the final bad guy at the end. The scene where Andy’s sister kills him probably would have been more effective from a character standpoint much earlier in the movie. That way, we could have seen the effect that killing your zombie dad, or watching your sister kill your zombie dad, has on someone.

Jeremy Renner looks confused because he’s trying to figure out how he wandered from the set of The Hurt Locker to here.

All that said, I really enjoyed the opening scenes of 28 Weeks Later tremendously, showing the horrific choice Andy’s dad made to survive and the set-up of what happened to London between 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later.

I really liked seeing these in-story promo posters for 28 Weeks Later around NYC shortly before the movie opened. They’re so cool looking, right down to the fake creases.

LOST FAN ALERT: If you’re a reader of this blog and was excited to find out that Jeremy Davies was in It’s Kind of a Funny Story, then you also might be excited to find out that Michael from Lost, Harold Perrineau, is in 28 Weeks Later. The producers totally blew their chance to combine Lost with 28 Days Later when they didn’t’ have him walk around yelling “Hellllllllllllllllloooooo! Wallllllllllllllllllllllllllt!”

Walllllllllllllllllllllttttttttttttttttt!
Walllllllllllllllllllllttttttttttttttttt?

The special features on the 28 Weeks Later Blu-Ray are pretty weak. There are only two deleted scenes and no alternate ending. There are two motion comics included, animated versions of what I think are the 28 Days Later comic. Whoever designed these motion comics should be banned from the profession. I had to turn them off after 30 seconds. The movement of the images and the text in them were so jarring, I could feel my eyes crossing. I haven’t ever rated any motion comic special feature highly, but this one is especially bad in its design.

In the end, I give 28 Weeks Later 3 blarrgghs and 1/2 brainnnnns…

At The Theater #31: The Town

I flied solo for the first time during this movie watching project when I caught The Town on a rainy afternoon at Brooklyn Heights Cinemas. This is the first time I went to see a movie by myself since I saw A Hard Day’s Night at Film Forum about 10 years ago. Before that, I don’t think I had been to the movie by myself since I was in junior high school, when I saw movies alone regularly in the summer 1990 (the last being either Problem Child or Total Recall) at the two small movie theaters in Pearl River, NY. On a side note, I was hugely popular in junior high (Liar!).

On another side note, how sad is it that both of those Pearl River theaters are now gone? Any readers of this blog remember those theaters? Okay, one wasn’t that great, but the nicer one had such a classic old-style movie theater vibe that’s hard to find in these days of multi-story megaplexes.

On a third side note, what’s with me going to the movie theater alone only during years that start new decades?

I know people who refuse to go to the movies alone, just as I know people who refuse to go to a restaurant alone. While I would much rather see a movie or dine with a companion, I recommend doing either alone both from time to time. There are definite advantages to seeing a movie by yourself: there’s no compromising on what movie to see (The Town), the show time only has to work for one person (me), and you get to pick out whatever snacks you want (small popcorn with butter and a regular Dr. Pepper, please) . But while this is freeing, there are definite downsides. You’re responsible for all the popcorn you choose to buy (luckily I had the foresight to order a small). Also, don’t expect a stranger to fill you in on what you missed while you were in the bathroom (that medium Dr. Pepper made the last 20 minutes of The Town excruciating). And when the movie’s over, there’s no one with whom to talk about the movie (except you, faithful blog reader, but even this is a mostly one-way street).

In order to get to 52 movies for the year, I expect I’ll be seeing a few of them by myself from here on out. But it really is much nicer to go with someone else.

The Town is about a 1960s ad exec and an ageless smoke monster teaming up in the FBI to take down Daredevil and an Iraq war veteran, who have turned their back on the law and become bank robbers. You’d think the smoke monster would wipe the floor with the bank robbers, but he’s surprisingly ineffectual during the climatic gunfight. Wait, I might be mixing up some roles…

Don Draper doesn’t get Mad (Men), he gets even.

Seriously though, The Town is awesome. Go out and see it in the theater. I will be very surprised if this movie doesn’t get nominated for an Oscar. As my snack stand order was being rung up, the ticket-seller/concession counterperson/movie-booker (seriously, while she was pouring my Dr. Pepper, she was on the phone ordering future movies for the theater – that’s multitasking!) said, “This one’s really good, you’re going to like it,” referring to The Town, not the Dr. Pepper. At least I hope she wasn’t referring to the Dr. Pepper. Don’t get me wrong, the Dr. Pepper was enjoyable. I just wouldn’t expect someone to get that excited about a fountain beverage.

Listening to the dialogue in The Town, I started to get a feeling that Ben Affleck was largely behind writing the cute dialogue in Good Will Hunting. The conversations between Affleck’s bank robber Doug MacRay and his hostage turned girlfriend Claire had the same vibe as Will and Skylar’s date in Good Will Hunting.

The highlight of the movie for me was the interrogation scene between Jon Hamm as an FBI agent and Ben Affleck’s theif Macray. Jon Hamm lets out the most exaggerated Boston agent ever while making fun of MacRay. It’s awesome.

The Town is definitely the victim of its own marketing campaign. When I first heard the title and saw the poster, I thought it was a horror movie. Maybe the name The Town reminds people of The Village. That can’t help. The trailer for The Town cleared up what genre the movie is, but didn’t do much else. The trailer made The Town seem like it was Heat 2.

Filmmakers, do your best not to associate your movie with this one.

The Town is a much better heist movie than Heat. Affleck is 2-for-2 as a director. If he keeps this up, Affleck may become the Martin Scorsese of Boston crime movies.

At The Theater #26: Inception

SPOILER WARNING – I’m going to talk about Inception in detail here, including the ending. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, you might want to skip this post until you see it.

Inception is a total mind-fuck. I think this was well expressed by the audience at the theater where I saw it. As soon as the credits rolled, there was a loud wail of anguish from people in the crowd. This wasn’t the same wail of anguish you’d hear at a Last Airbender screening; it wasn’t coming from a poor quality standpoint. The camera just stays on that damn spinning top for so long, then it starts wobbling and…black.  Was Leo awake? Was he still dreaming? To quote a teen in the lobby after the movie: “Christopher Nolan must die!” Again, I think this was coming from a different place than when that was said about M. Night Shamalan from teens after seeing a different movie across town.

 Random Thought #1: The snow-scape dream fortress looked a lot like the sniper board in Metal Gear Solid for the PS1. 

.
I really liked Inception. It was like a combination of Lost’s sideways reality, The Matrix and The Sixth Sense. For a very exposition-heavy movie, I think Nolan did a good job of interspersing the exposition so that Inception didn’t feel weighed down by it.

I liked the open-ended ending. At first it looked like that top was going to keep spinning forever and he was still dreaming. But then it starts wobbling and I really hoped it would fall down, because I wanted a happy ending for the guy. But it ended before we could get our answer. Does it even matter? Leo walks away from the top before it stops spinning. It’s as if he said, “this is my real world,” reunited with his kids. If you wake up in heaven, do you question it? Leo risks everything to return to his family, and in the end he’s satisfied that he’s reunited with them to the point that he doesn’t even glance back at the top. But we do. Not that we have a choice, the camera is staring right at, spinning and wobbling away.

 Random Thought #2: Joseph Gordon Levitt in this movie has caused me to want to start wearing vests.

I want to see this movie a second time, largely to watch the wake-up scene on the plane again. I don’t remember what the order was of people waking up. Maybe that gives us some clue as to whether or not Leo was actually awake in the end. Was he the last one to wake up? If he wasn’t, I think would lean heavily towards him being still asleep. Everyone else should have made it out of the dream before him, right?
Inception reminded me a lot of The Matrix, to the point that I’m really hoping they don’t mess up any sequels the way that the ball was completely dropped with the two Matrix sequels. Then again, I have faith in Christopher Nolan. The Dark Knight was my favorite movie of 2008, so I know the guy can do sequels well. But really, I can’t even see where you’d go with this movie in a second one. It works so well on its own. We don’t need Inception 2: The Search for Leo.

Tuesday Night Movies is on a road trip! We saw Inception at Reel Pizza in Bar Harbor, Maine. I love this movie theater. This might be my favorite movie theater. It’s this or LA’s Arclight.

What makes Reel Pizza so great? Basically, it’s the concession stand. While other theaters have branched out from popcorn and candy to include nachos and pretzel bites, you can order pizzas at Reel Pizza. The topping list is extensive. Don’t feel like pepperoni tonight? Why not go for mussels, artichoke hearts or goat cheese? Need something to wash it down with? How about a beer? That’s right, beer. And it’s good beer too. They offer Guinness and selections from local breweries, all for cheaper than what a Bud Light would run you in NYC.

The two theaters were designed with the concession stand in mind. Each row of seats has a counter in front of it to put your pizza tray and beer. The first three rows of taken up by couches and easy chairs. These seats are usually the first to go. TV trays are available for viewers lucky enough to snag these seats. When your pizza is ready, a BINGO board on the side wall silently announces your number to let you know that your pizza is waiting for you in the lobby. They even throw an intermission into each movie so that you can grab another beer, or if you’re hungry, another pizza.

 The Reel Pizza bingo board of pizza readiness.

I haven’t been to Bar Harbor without going to Reel Pizza. If you’re there, it’s a must-stop-at destination.

On The Couch #25: Spies Like Us

How have I never seen Spies Like Us? I don’t know. I love comedies. I like John Landis. I like Chevy Chase. I like Dan Akroyd. I was the right age to see this in the movie theater or at home on VHS. It doesn’t make sense.

Watching Spies Like Us for the first time 25 years after it was made has its downsides. Not all of the jokes age well. Take the Bob Hope cameo. Bob Hope pops in randomly, hits a golf ball, makes a quip and exits just as quickly. John Landis was obviously very excited about this; Bob Hope is the only person in the credits who has an exclamation point after his name. Unfortunately, living in a world where Bob Hope isn’t hitting around golf balls anymore caused this bit to fall flat for me.

I wonder if this how people are going to feel about Neil Patrick Harris’s cameo in Harold and Kumar 25 years from now. This also assumes people are still watching Harold and Kumar 25 years from now.

Two cameos that really excited me were the B.B. King and Michael Apted ones, probably because they’re still alive. I didn’t even catch them the first time around. I saw their names in the credits and immediately hunted down their scene. It was great seeing the director of The Up Series documentaries in an acting role, even if it’s just for one line as a creepy CIA guy.

I love these movies. You might too.

It’s amazing how often Spies Like Us is referenced now, 25 years later. It showed up in an episode of Chuck recently, which reminded me I never saw the movie. And the “Doctor.” “Doctor.” bit was used in in the sideways reality of Lost this season. I’ve always found that bit funny; I’ve even quoted that bit, but had no idea where it came from. I always assumed it was something from Monty Python or M*A*S*H* (another classic I’ve never seen…Hmm, I should get around to queueing that up).

“Doctor.”  “Doctor.”

I don’t want this review to sound like I didn’t like the movie. I did, especially the test scene early on and the appendectomy surgery in the desert. The jokes are very 1985, but what else should I have expected from a cold war spy comedy?

If you haven’t seen Spies Like Us, congratulations! You’re officially the last person now that I’ve seen it.

On The Couch #14: Couples Retreat

Couples Retreat was the second movie I saw in a four movies over four days binge. If you asked me at the start if I thought Couples Retreat was going to be the best of the bunch, I would have laughed. But compared to Remember Me, Greenberg and Bruno, Couples Retreat seems like comedic gold.

I don’t want to go overboard with my praise for Couple Retreat. At best, I could sum up the movie as “meh.” It’s the kind of movie that comes on TBS on a random Sunday afternoon and you keep it on because you’ve got no better options and it’s not that bad. Think of it like Milk Money, but with more bikinis.

Looking at the cover, you might think that Couples Retreat is Forgetting Sarah Marshall for old people. Don’t make that mistake. Sure, both take place at gorgeous, tropical locales and both have Kristen Bell, but Forgetting Sarah Marshall is so much funnier. You would probably enjoy watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall a second time instead of watching Couples Retreat.

This picture of Kristen Bell is here mainly to keep frequent commenter Bryan coming back to the blog.

I have to hand it to Kristen Bell. That girl is smart when it comes to getting cast. Sure, this movie isn’t all that great, but as an actress she spent most of her time filming this in Hawaii. I’m surprised her other colleagues from Forgetting Sarah Marshall haven’t come to the same conclusion of “must get cast on all Hawaii shoots.” I’m also surprised Bell didn’t do everything she could to get in on the last season of Lost. “Come on, I’ve got sci-fi experience,” she’d say, “I could be your geologist. You don’t need the Tina Fey look-a-like.” But maybe her time in Heroes has caused her to meet so enough con-freaks to scare here away from anything sci-fi, even if it is filmed in paradise.

The three reasons to watch Couples Retreat.

If you’re a guy and your girlfriend insists on watching Couples Retreat together*, don’t complain too much. You get to watch Kristen Bell, Kristen Davis and Malin Akerman spend most of their time in bikinis. And ladies, you not only get to see a shirtless Jon Favreau, but also a shirtless Faizon Love. Hmm, maybe after reading that last line, your girlfriend won’t insist on watching this movie after all. Fellas, feel free to send me gift cards to movie theaters as tokens of your thanks.

*Note: Watching Couples Retreat wasn’t my girlfriend’s idea.

WARNING: Watching Couples Retreat will result in seeing Faizon Love shirtless!

If you do watch it though, watch the deleted scenes afterwards. Most of the deleted scenes were deleted with good cause and can be skipped, but there’s one that is rather funny and even plays into an unanswered question regarding the plot, namely what happens if the guys ignore the warning about going left on the trail in their quest to get to Eden East. That one deleted scene also more funny homoerotic jokes than all of Bruno.

This Guitar Hero battle is reason #4 to watch Couples Retreat.

On its own, Couples Retreat gets a “You’re not missing anything.” Standing next to everything else I watched from Thursday through Sunday, I’m glad Couples Retreat is the movie someone I know owns instead of any of the others.

At The Theater #10: Hot Tub Time Machine

The first time I saw an advertisement for Hot Tub Time Machine, a giant card board stand-up display, I thought I would skip this movie. Then I saw a trailer for it and thought that I would definitely skip this movie. But by the time I saw a third commercial for it, I was hooked and wanted to see it. I’m glad I did. Hot Tub Time Machine is hilarious. If you like funny movies, you’ll like this one.

My (and frequent TNM commenter Bryan’s)
first encounter with Hot Tub Time Machine.

Three friends, played by John Cusack, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry, whose lives are going nowhere go away for a weekend of planned debauchery at the ski resort that was the site of their teenage glory days. Unfortunately, the ski resort is in as rough shape as the three of them. This doesn’t stop them from boozing like madmen in their room’s hot tub, which goes back in time to 1986 when some Russian Red Bull knock-off gets spilled on the tub’s control panel. At first this seems a little ridiculous, but at the end of the day, I guess that doesn’t make any less sense than spinning a wheel to send a whole island back in time.

How many guys peed in this tub for it to become this yellow?

Like in Quantum Leap, the three guys look middle aged to themselves and to the viewer, but the mirror reveals them to look exactly like they did in 1986. The costume designer did a great job outfitting John Cusack in a dark brown duster and fingerless gloves; it was like watching the second coming of Lloyd Dobbler.

Time travel comedy alum and perpetually creepy Crispin Glover has a small role in this movie, playing the creepy (what else do you expect from Crispin Glover) one-armed bellhop Phil, who is twice as armed and much less creepy in the past. 1986-Phil is perhaps the least creepy Crispin Glover has come off since playing George McFly in Back to the Future. Nevertheless, his being in this movie feels like a passing of the torch.

“George, in the future you’re the creepiest actor alive.”

The movie hits both 1980s and time travel jokes. It’s like if you mixed The Wedding Singer with Back to the Future 2. Big cell phones, high-top fades and “I want my MTV” all make appearances. Rob Corddry, reading from the Biff Tannen playbook, learns the very good and very bad that can come from trying to either change the future or profit from future knowledge. Some of the funniest scenes in the movie are when Corddry succeeds or fails from trying to take advantage of what he knows from 2010.

Still the best time travel movie ever.

Also traveling with them to the past is Cusack’s character’s nephew Adam, who gets treated to seeing what his mom was like as a teenager. If Marty McFly taught us anything, it’s that this never goes well. The lesson to be learned here: if you ever find yourself flying backwards through time in a phone booth, a DeLorean or a hot tub, avoid seeing your parents; you’ll only be scarred.