Tag Archives: Johnny Depp

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Dark Shadows – Review

2/5 – Another
2/5 – Watch the trailer instead.

After the disappointment that was Alice in Wonderland, I had high hopes for Dark Shadows to be the movie that would redeem Tim Burton in my eyes. The trailer looked very funny. But as can often be the case, the best parts of Dark Shadows were in the trailer.

If you’re not familiar with the origins of Dark Shadows, the film is based on an old soap opera of the same name. A family from the 60s (or the 70s in the film version) has a very distant relative move in with them…namely a recently unearthed vampire ancestor.

The trailer for Dark Shadows made the movie seem like it would be very tongue-in-cheek and campy, like the excellent Brady Bunch movie from the 1990s. Unfortunately, the tongue-in-cheek campiness is kept to a minimum beyond what what was already shown in the trailer.

Instead, we get a movie that was overly long and slowly paced. The screenplay seemed lazily written. Maybe screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith was trying to make the movie feel like a soap opera brought to the big screen, but there was a little too much deus-ex-machina towards the end. One character gets special powers out of nowhere, turning the tide in the climatic battle. The love story between Barnabus and Victoria never goes anywhere and seems tacked on. Victoria is often relegated to the background, despite being Barnabus’s supposed reincarnated true love.

The movie is not completely bad. There are some funny lines and amusing montages, but as a whole it’s a disappointment.

Johnny Depp should play Michael Jackson in the Michael Jackson story.

After watching the movie, I turned on an episode of the Dark Shadows television series on Netflix’s streaming service. Wow, I thought the movie was slow. It amazes me that fans can watch this show in marathon sessions. Dark Shadows the TV show is the definition of slow. I didn’t even make it to the introduction of Barnabus. There was a scene where a character was staring at the wall of a crypt for a good 30 seconds. It was like watching a small-screen adaptation of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.

I recommend listening to the This American Life story on a Dark Shadows convention more than watching either the movie or TV versions of Dark Shadows. That story was great.

I haven’t given up on Tim Burton yet. I still very much look forward to watching Frankenweenie. The trailer looks great, but then again so did the trailer for Dark Shadows.

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At The Theater #9: Alice in Wonderland

Tim Burton’s very hyped, heavily advertised take on the Lewis Carroll classic is surprisingly light on  its Tim Burton. Sure, the surface elements are all there: the characters and their surroundings look weird. But for the most part, this is a by-the-numbers approach to Alice in Wonderland.

It’s so by-the-numbers that it comes across a bit pointless. Even the story doesn’t seem new, despite this being Alice’s second trip to Wonderland. Tim Burton must be working with the major theme of if you forget the past, you are doomed to repeat it; Alice at 19 finds herself going through the same motions as Alice at 6. She’s dismissed her earlier adventure in Wonderland, or Underland as she’s told it’s really called, as a bad dream. The Wonderland/Underland misnomer comes across as a one-off bit shoe-horned late in the film. Is there a point to Alice having the name wrong? Is Underland really a better name than Wonderland?

I don’t want to come across as too harsh against this movie, as I did enjoy it. Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter is the best performance in this role by someone not named Tom Petty. Although it is weird that the Tim Burtonized Mad Hatter makes Johnny Depp look surprisingly like Elijah Wood. Maybe Wood wasn’t available due to Hobbit commitments, or maybe Burton just thought Depp did a better Scottish accent, but still wanted that Elijah Wood look.

The Mad Hobbit

Speaking of people looking like other people, am I the only one who thought that Anne Hathaway’s White Queen looked a lot like Lady Gaga?

Rah rah rah ah ah ah! White Queen ooh la la!

I went to a 3D, but non-Imax showing of Alice in Wonderland. The 3D in the movie was cool. It wasn’t mind-blowing in the way that Avatar’s was, but they make good use of it, and I think the movie was better for it and is worth the extra fee. Theaters are charging $3 extra for the 3D version of the movie to cover the cost of glasses. I think they should waive that fee if you bring your own glasses from the last 3D movie you watched, but that’s not the case in any 3D theater I’ve been to so far. I guess it would be a logistical nightmare, or encourage dishonest practices by customers, or it’s just another revenue stream for them.

Christopher Lee, who has never played General Zod, voices the Jabberwocky. Christopher Lee will always be The Man Who Never Played General Zod to me, after so many years spent incorrectly believing him to be General Zod. He uses the same deep throated voice here that worked so well in playing villains like Saruman and not playing villains like General Zod.

If you decided to skip out on seeing Alice in Wonderland, you wouldn’t be missing much. Because really, at the end of the day, if Tom Petty isn’t the Mad Hatter or Geoffrey Holder, the old 7-Up guy, isn’t playing the Cheshire Cat, what’s the point?

Both of these Alice in Wonderlands freaked me out as a child much more than Tim Burton ever could:

Geoffry Holder as the Chesire Cat:

Tom Petty’s Don’t Come Around Here No More video:

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At the Theater #4: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

I have to hand it to Terry Gilliam. Having one of your main actors die in the middle of filming is a big hurdle to overcome. But Gilliam came up with a very creative way to deal with it. Since half of The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus takes place in an fantasy world of the mind’s imagination, Gilliam cast the trio of Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell to play the part of the late Heath Ledger’s character Tony, who Ledger plays in the real world scenes. I wasn’t aware of this heading into the movie. I thought Ledger’s death would have been handled the same way as Brandon Lee’s for The Crow: a body double and plenty of shadows. When Tony steps into the Imaginarium, I thought to myself “Wow, Heath Ledger really looks like Johnny Depp here.” And then said, “Wait, is that Johnny Depp?” Watching Depp, Law and Farrell play Tony in the imaginarium was very cool, but finding out afterwards that the three of them gave their paychecks from this movie to Heath Ledger’s young daughter Mathilda was every cooler. Each of them showed some real class with that.

Not Heath Ledger.       Also not Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger’s final film shows off his charm. The amnesiac Tony quickly takes up with Dr. Parnassus and his roving sideshow and goes to work as their caller, bringing in new customers to help win Doctor Parnassus’s bet with the devil. Ledger’s physical and verbal deftness during his first scene as a member of Dr. Parnassus’s crew reminded me of Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow from The Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which I think helped confuse me when Johnny Depp appeared as Tony in the next scene. I’ve been a fan Ledger’s work for some time. He was a great actor who will definitely be missed. His portrayal of the Joker in The Dark Knight helped me name that my top movie of 2008.

“I wish I could quit you.”

My problems with The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus are what Terry Gilliam leaves out. A big deal is made about the arcane symbols on Tony’s forehead, with multiple characters (and the audience) wondering their meaning. But the audience is left wondering, as this is never explained.

“By the way, it says “balls” on your face.”

Also never explained is why the devil wants Tony dead, a problematic Deus Ex Machina at the end of the movie. Dr. Parnassus has lost his bet with the devil and forfeited his daughter’s soul, but the devil tells him that if he kills Tony, he can have his daughter back. The devil says he always wanted Tony dead, but Tony kept escaping him. Before this, the devil showed no animosity towards Tony and seemed initially to even be the reason that Tony appeared in front of Dr. Parnassus’s crew. So why does the devil suddenly want him dead? This made the ending seem a little weak for what was otherwise a very cool movie. I give The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus three stars out of five, meaning I liked it.

I caught The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus at the Brooklyn Heights Cinema, at the corner of Henry St and Orange St in Brooklyn Heights. I definitely recommend seeing movies here. It’s a very old school two screen theater, but it’s kept in impeccable shape. It is a shrine to movie-going. The lobby has reading copies of Zoetrope and other film magazines, as well as comfortable couches to read them on if you arrive a little early for your movie. The seats in the theater are nicely cushioned and in good shape. The staff is friendly. The concession stand has more than your usual popcorn, candy boxes and soda options. There are some high-end chocolate bars for sale, a wide choice of tea, and Italian sodas. It’s usually a staff of two on any given night, with the projectionist or ticket seller also doing double-duty at the concession stand.

Most importantly about the concession stand, the popcorn tastes fresh. After working in a now-defunct movie theater in high school, I learned something that I never suspected. When there is popcorn leftover at the end of the night, we were instructed to bag it up in long plastic bags. Those bags would be emptied in the glass bins in front of the concession stand the next night and sold to unsuspecting customers, unless those customers specifically asked for fresh popcorn. The process would continue night after night, with popcorn of varying degrees of staleness being passed off as just made. Since then, I’ve been leery of movie theater popcorn. There are plenty of theaters in the city that definitely serve stale popcorn and I’ll be calling them out as this blog continues week to week, but the popcorn at Brooklyn Heights Cinema is good. Do yourself a favor and catch a movie there followed by dinner at one of the nearby Henry St. restaurants.